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→ The Perils of Movie Night

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Title: → The Perils of Movie Night
Rating:→ PG
Author:Pairing: → Spike/Xander
Word Count:→ 500
Prompt:→ Prompt #326: Sixth Sense @ Fandom:→ Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: → AU
Beta (s):→ Unbeta'd but proofread
Disclaimer:→ Not mine.
Summary: → Spike and Xander decide to share their favourite movies with unexpected results.
Notes: → Hit me whilst sat having a cigarette break – it's a wonder I was able to read the scribble I managed to write down!


He could tell Spike was getting pissed off but there was absolutely nothing he could do. His ribs were aching, there were tears literally streaming down his cheeks and if he didn't stop soon he was pretty sure he was going to piss the bed.

He tried to calm down, tried to think about some things that could distract him but they weren't working. Which really went to show just how much this was affecting him that his go-to images that could stop an orgasm in it's tracks weren't distracting enough.

Normally thinking about bug ladies or mummy girls was enough to curb even the deepest urge but it so wasn't working. More heavy sighs from Spike, and he decided to bring out the big guns: an image formed in his mind of Deadboy, mono-brow creased in irritation and displeasure, standing next to Giles wiping his glasses ferociously and Willow wringing her hands with that look on her face that said he had effectively destroyed a lifetime of subterranean hopes and dreams created by a yellow crayon of the two of them, maybe one day -

That one did it – pretty much – as long as he didn't turn and look at Spike again and see those pink lips pursed into a cat's bum scowl, the scarred eyebrow lowered over angrily sparkling blue eyes. Unfortunately, one more look at the screen ruined it all and he convulsed again, the ache in his belly growing stronger. God, was it possible to die from this?

“It really is not that amusing. This film is a freakin' classic. They even managed to get the faces of the hanged people right with their tongues all swollen and protrudin' like. Bugger ya – see if I share any more of me favourite movies with ya!” The last expletive was practically spat at him and arms folded meant they weren't wrapped around him and he finally sobered up completely. It looked like he had a whole new thing to stop him losing the plot – it didn't feel good Spike withdrawing affection like that and he was pretty sure he wasn't going to start again. Well he was sure until the obnoxiously talented boy on screen came out with that line and Xander was lost once more in the biggest fit of giggles he could remember suffering since that time he'd smoked pot with Oz that time after patrol.

“I see dead people.” He couldn't resist whispering it along with the character before corpsing up once again.

“You keep on like this for much longer, Pet, and you won't be able to make that claim any longer.”

“I'm sorry Spike, really I am. You're right – this really is a great movie and I can see why it's one of your favourites.”

Silence then those arms finally returned curving around him and he felt Spike drop what was obviously a resigned kiss on the top of his head. “Bleedin' mad ponce.”


fin