"What the fuck, Derek?" Stiles stormed into the dreary loft, which he knew would never stop smelling like mildew the way it did, and plugged his nose that very second. Stiles had almost fainted the first time he walked in. He couldn't imagine what it was like for the werewolf.
"Stiles," Derek said, appearing out of nowhere.
"What do you want, Stiles?" Derek snarled, his nostrils flaring.
"I want you to tell me why the fuck you didn't tell me that I was your mate!" Stiles yelled, letting his arms flail wildly and freely all over the place. He didn't care at all what Derek's excuse was at this point. He just wanted to punch his stupidly attractive face. It was usually more along the lines of wanting to punch Derek's lips with his own, but right now, Stiles was furious.
"You are not my mate, Stiles," Derek said, flatly. Looking away, he said, "Go home. You have to go back to college tomorrow morning."
"Derek, turn around," Stiles ordered, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. Frankly, he had had enough of the hiding.
"Go home, Stiles," Derek tried again, turning around this time but not holding eye contact for even a second. He took his usual spot on the couch and picked up the book he was currently reading-Brighter than a Thousand Suns-and began genuinely reading it.
Stiles, now also angry with himself for knowing Derek's spot on the couch and Derek's love of reading, tried to yell at Derek, but nothing came out. Stiles Stilinski was at a loss of words. Instead of wasting a breath beating around the bush to try to come up with a clear point, he joined Derek on the couch and closed his eyes. Stiles wanted to tell him everything. Wanted to tell him that it was okay, that he would want to work this out, that he wanted to be his mate, that he had started to love him not only because he was a good guy but also because he was trying to be better every day. He wanted to tell him that he could give him what he deserved.
He started at another point, which was equally important, "Derek, why do you hold back from happiness? Does it scare you? Do you think it's impossible? Why do you let yourself hurt?"
"Stiles," Derek took a deep breath and turned to Stiles, looking like he was about to kick him out again but his mouth snapped shut when his eyes met Stiles'. "Why do you care? It's not your problem,” Derek’s voice was venomously bitter.
Stiles snorted so loudly.
"God, Derek. You don't get it, do you?” Stiles scoffed. “You're important to me. I care about you. Before you ask why again, let me tell you. I care because obviously you're pack. No matter how much I deny it."
Derek huffed. Stiles gave him a soft smile before continuing.
"I care about you because you've become one of those people in my life that I can't help but care about. Like Scott and Dad. God, but most importantly, I care because you are my friend. There's no explanation for why I do. I just do. I also like that you're trying. You're trying to get them all to feel like they belong to the pack, that they're comfortable and are provided for and cared for. You're trying to be a better alpha for them and you are trying to find yourself again. I see it all even when you're hiding behind that scowl of yours."
Stiles paused before he said anymore and let Derek take it all in. Stiles wanted so badly for Derek to know all of it.
Stiles watched Derek's jaw tighten and go slack. He watched his eyebrows scrunch up like he was thinking over making an important decision. He watched Derek's fingers brush over the edges of the book. When he saw Derek's mouth open, bunny teeth peeking out, he spoke again.
"I just don't see why you won't let yourself be happy and have what you deserve. And you do deserve it. You deserve to have a strong pack. You deserve to have a mate who loves you just as much."
It seemed that both men had stopped breathing, as the room fell quiet again. It was the most intimate moment and serious conversation (though, mostly one-sided so far) he had had with Derek. Their relationship as friends was so important to Stiles. It was where care had blossomed along with love.
"You talk a lot," Derek said after what seemed like the tensest two minutes of both their lives.
"I do. But Derek that's no-"
"And that scares me," Derek interrupted. The man with words so meager had interrupted Stiles. "It scares me that you will remind me of them everyday."
"What?" Stiles whispered, definitely not expecting that.
"My family was talkative like you. They would have loved you, taken you in from day one. They would have probably loved you more than me," Derek exhaled something almost passable as a laugh.
"You know that that's not true. I am pretty lovable, though."
"The way you talk, expressive and loud. They were all like that. I was always the quiet one. I'd always keep up with their conversations, though. I liked it. I miss them."
It was the first time Stiles had heard so many emotions flood from Derek's words. Actually, it was the first time he had heard so many words from Derek. It was overwhelming to have all those feelings thrown at him but he was content being the person Derek was comfortable to talk to.
"You don't want to remember them?" Stiles asked, nearly heartbroken that a person he loved hurt because of his presence.
"It's not them," Derek admitted. He placed the book down on the side table before sinking down and leaning back on the couch.
"What is it then?" Stiles asked without urgency to his voice.
Derek took another two minutes.
"It reminds me that it was my fault," Derek said, picking at his nails. Stiles thought wrong about being heartbroken before. It was this that shattered him.
"Derek, I want you to listen to me, okay?" Stiles cautiously placed his hand on Derek's shoulder. When Derek didn’t look up but nodded slightly, he went on. "No one thinks it's your fault. Not even the man who worked on the case. My dad trusts you, always has. She was declared as a sociopath, Derek. She was sick, everyone knows she was. Her own brother and niece know."
Stiles didn’t mention her name deliberately, knowing that her name brought an acidic taste to his mouth and left an unpleasant fog in the environment.
"It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't let her manipulate me," Derek reasoned. "All of them would be here."
"Derek, stop. That is nowhere near the truth. Where the hell are you getting these thoughts? She was a murderer. She was the one who did it. I know you want them to be here. But Derek, don't you think they're happy just knowing you've got a pack here that cares about you? They'd want that. They would want you to be happy."
Stiles and Derek were quiet for a while and let the comfortable silence fall over. It was nice, sharing space and being around each other. While Stiles had the usual restlessness to talk constantly, it died down around Derek. It showed his ability to be secure where he was. Derek made him feel safe and an assurance of security followed along.
"Derek, you're going to have to tell me why you didn't tell me," Stiles spoke, not to anyone but just left that hanging in the air for Derek.
"I didn't want to rope you into it. You said you didn't want to be like us so I just assumed..."
"Who? What? Wh-When did I say- I am already like you!" Stiles all but whined.
"You're not a werewolf, Stiles," Derek grumbled like the giant wolf cub he was.
"No that I am not. Last time I got angry, my eyebrows definitely didn't disappear," Stiles smirked, enjoying their normal banter. "Wait. So you thought that since I'm not a werewolf, I wouldn't want to be your mate?"
"Do you?" Derek looked at him with hopeful eyes.
"No! God no, I'd be the worst wolf. Can you imagine me on a full moon? I'd need to be locked in a cage made out of wolfsbane infused metal!"
Stiles was confused by Derek's sudden change in mood. He wanted that frown off of his face as soon as possible. "Derek, that doesn't mean I don't like werewolf-y things."
Stiles grinned when Derek cringed at the word 'werewolf-y'.
"I've started touching you guys so much; it is honestly freaking my dad out how much I hug him. And I don't know if you've noticed but it's hard to be away from the pack for more than a couple of days. I'm basically a werewolf, except without, you know, the super strength, speed, senses, claws, teeth...God, I'm boring!
Stiles saw Derek shift in his spot with so much discomfort that might as well have been sitting on a cactus. "Derek, you okay?"
"It's fine." The clenched jaw and fisted hands said otherwise.
Stiles had a mild freak out about what he had said. Just because the need of talking nonstop disappeared didn't mean his brain-to-mouth filter had. But before there was a mess of teary eyes and uneven breaths, Stiles figured it out.
"Oh my gosh," Stiles mumbled, pulling Derek's face so close to his that their lips were barely an inch apart. "I am your mate and you are mine," he said before closing the distance and finally, finally enjoying the feel of Derek’s soft lips against his.
They kissed slowly; it was like any other first kiss, it was so soft, so new and foreign. Stiles' moan determined Derek. He felt Derek's lips still against his before he licked into Stiles' mouth. It was still gentle and slow. The buzz was so intense that he was shivering from extreme pleasure. Stiles would definitely be using the words like 'passionate' and 'loving' if his lips weren't busy otherwise.
"Derek, wait," Stiles pulled away, forcing his body to compile no matter how much he wanted to be kissing Derek again and feeling the comforting warmth radiating from his body. "What does this mean for us? I don't want to sound emotionally needy but I just have to know..." Stiles drifted off to let Derek answer.
"It means that we are in a committed relationship," Derek answers easily, leaning in again.
"You mean, boyfriends?" Stiles squealed obnoxiously against Derek's lips.
"Mates," Derek said seriously. "Mates."
"Mates, okay. I like the sound of that," Stiles laughed. "Hello, nice to meet you. This is my mate, Derek Hale. He's grumpy and likes hunting rabbits in the daytime-" Stiles spoke in a mocking tone before being cutoff by Derek's palm. Without thinking, he licked it. But no, Derek, the stupid stubborn alpha dude, kept his hand as it was. Stiles couldn't help the bubble of laughter that escaped him and jumped towards Derek, embracing him.
"We have to be better at communicating if we're going to make this thing work, alright?" Stiles laughed in Derek's ear. In return, Derek squeezed him tighter around the waist.
"Alright," Derek agreed.
"We're going to have to tell the pack. And oh my God, my dad!" Stiles and Derek were enjoying a quiet night at the loft, talking quietly, playing with each other's hands, holding soft eye contact and sharing kisses. And now Stiles was freaking out because his brain had sidetracked into the future of their relationship.
"I-uh. Your dad knows about us," Derek was instantly interested in the back of his hand.
"He what now?" Stiles' body flipped to its side, facing a very nervous-looking Derek Hale. "What do you mean he knows? You told him without me?"
"Son, do you hear yourself?" The Sheriff furrowed his brows at Derek. "You think my son, Stiles is your mate?"
"Yes, sir. He is," Derek replied, nodding his head with purpose.
"Okay. Fine. Are you looking for my permission? My blessing?" John asked, patiently waiting for Derek to respond. He had noticed the tense posture at the door when he'd come and it still hadn't faded away. John felt for the man, he knew all the emotions Derek had through. Experiencing the death of loved ones is the most difficult thing. John knew it wasn't something that went away but something that was helplessly experienced everyday. It would become a part of you the rest of your life. The death was just the unfortunate beginning.
"I care about him a lot. I have known for a while and I don't know if I’ll actually ever tell him. He deserves happiness and I don't if I'll be able to give him that," Derek mumbled the whole thing, head hanging down with dejection.
John sensed honesty in the man. His family was ripped away from him yet he was still doing all he could to maintain a pack. Derek Hale was still standing strong on both feet.
"Son, you're a good man. I trust you with my son's life. You've proved yourself to me time and time again. What do you need from me?" John shook his head fondly. "I'm not the person you should be talking to."
With that, John walked to the kitchen, leaving a pensive Derek on the table.
There, he faintly heard Derek reminding him about his low-cholesterol diet and how Stiles would be mad to find out if he was eating anything unhealthy and heart attack inducing.
Join decided that Derek was totally whipped and would have a good future with Stiles. They would make each other happy when they finally got their priorities straight.
"Beer?" John returned with two bottles in hand and took a seat.
"Thank you, sir. But-"
"I know. We keep some for you werewolves in this household. Courtesy of your mate," John smiled at the flush on Derek's cheeks.
"Thank you, sir,” Derek replied.
"Call me John."
"Thank you, John,” the clink of bottles sent John back to the scary day he'd met Claudia's father.
Stiles busted out in fits of laughter. "You had beer with my dad?"
Derek's face went red out of embarrassment. Stiles was grinning so wildly it hurt. He was totally going to be telling this story to their children and hopefully grandchildren.
"You want kids." It was more of a statement than a question. And of course Stiles had said that out loud. Thankfully, he had learned to face these situations calmly.
"I do," Stiles nodded because it was so true. He had realized this after Jackson and Lydia had had a baby girl they named Abby. She was a gem: a really cute gem with chubby cheeks and cute little hands and fiery red hair. It was hard to think Jackson could produce something that cute ("Shut the fuck up, Stilinski").
Stiles returned to reality when he felt Derek's big palm caressing his cheek. "Me too," he whispered, kissing him. Stiles kissed back immediately, grabbing at Derek's t-shirt.
"We're going to need a bigger house," Stiles said when they pulled away.
"It's the full moon," Stiles said, trying so hard to be nonchalant and casual.
"I know," Derek answered, engaged in his book-Princess.
Stiles had always wondered how Derek had spent his free time. Now he knew that it was hours of reading and writing little notes in the books and underlining quotes he liked. It was something Stiles found so endearing and fascinating, smiling every time he'd see Derek in bed, on the couch or on the kitchen table with a book. Several times during dinner he'd sternly told the werewolf to go and keep his book away and Derek did (with his metaphorical tail between his legs).
"Derek, when are we going to, you know, do the do? De-virginize the Stiles?"
"What?" Derek looked up, bleary eyes.
"Derek, you heard me. Seriously, when are we going to have sex?"
"Why are you in such a hurry? I thought you wanted to wait," Derek slipped a bookmark on the page he was on and stashed it away in the bedside table drawer.
"I love you. And I want to show you how much in different ways," Stiles climbed up onto the bed, lying beside Derek. "And in many different positions," Stiles grinned with hope.
"Come here," Derek said, pulling Stiles close. "How about now?"
"Now is good. Now is awesome. Now is going to be epi-" Derek mushed their lips together, cutting Stiles off.
Stiles was lying on his stomach, sweatpants at his ankles, clenching the sheets around fists and moaning as Derek licked into his hole. With Derek's hands stroking his back in comfort, Stiles was in heaven. Derek's torso was warm against his legs, pinning them down and preventing him from kicking. That resistance was sexy and made Stiles wonder if Derek would ever consider putting him in handcuffs. He could feel his cock harden at the thought.
"Derek," Stiles groaned, debauched already. "I'm ready. Just please- lube me up and stick it in." Stiles was possibly getting a little impatient. But there was good reason. Derek and he had spent the last 20 minutes kissing and feeling and memorizing every inch of each other and stroking their cocks lazily. It was so slow and beautiful.
When Stiles had imagined sex with Derek–which he had many, many times, –he hadn't imagined slow passionate sex. He thought it'd be rough and fast and thought he would like it. But he was wrong, so wrong. Taking their own time was so much better; they were connecting and making love. It was beautiful. Stiles thought he'd cry, feeling so thankful that his first time was with someone he loved and cared about.
“You’re not good at being romantic,” Derek stated, licking his cheek.
"Ahhh," Stiles moaned at the intrusion of Derek's finger. They were so much better then his own. They were so much wider and stronger. Stiles knew he could probably just cum on Derek's finger, but he held tightly onto his orgasm.
"Is it okay," Derek asked, putting more lube on his fingers and trying to be as careful as he could.
"More than. Another one," Stiles told him, holding the sheets tighter in his fists and pushing back on Derek's fingers. "It's okay, I've fucked myself before. I can take it."
It was Derek's turn to moan as he realigned their bodies to access Stiles' neck, where he was biting and sucking a hickey.
"Did you use your fingers?" Derek asked, now working two fingers in and out of Stiles.
"Yeah and a vibrator," Stiles turned his head a bit to see Derek's reaction. Derek kissed him with buzzing energy.
"I want you to show me sometime," Derek told him before pulling out his fingers. He reached for the lube and condom but hesitated when Stiles' hand stopped him.
"No condom, mister. I want to feel you," Stiles kissed him before lying on his stomach again.
Derek turned Stiles on his side, telling him that if he wanted to knot him, it would be best to do it lying sideways.
Derek was heat to Stiles' back with his arm protectively around Stiles' body. With his other hand, Derek grabbed his own cock and rubbed the head around Stiles' hole, teasing him, both moaning quietly.
Derek's cock slid into Stiles' hole without much resistance. They were smart to use plenty of lube.
The first push was slow and deep. It burned. But God, Stiles couldn't help but mewl at the feeling of being so full, so complete. This was their moment; their first time together. Stiles could do without the hype of doing it for the first time on the full moon but it was perfect, they were perfect together.
Derek slid in and out of Stiles several times missing his prostate on purpose. Smug bastard knew that Stiles would cum the second he hit that sensitive bundle of nerves. Smug bastard was also so right. But Derek was making it up by kissing Stiles languidly and so deeply he felt it in his toes. The odd angle of turning his head around while lying sideways was not even a hair of a concern.
Stiles felt his body thrumming with electricity every time Derek pushed in, each time all the way. He moaned every time Derek pulled out. This time when Derek pushed back in, Stiles felt like he'd been hit by lightning. All of his body parts were enjoying the hit. And God, Derek didn't even miss once, continuing to hit Stiles' prostate.
Derek wrapped Stiles up around his waist with his arm and pulled him back onto his cock every time he was thrusting in. Sparks were shooting through his whole body now and he felt tingly in places he didn't know were possible to feel tingly in.
"Derek, I love this so much, keep goi-AH!" Stiles keened when he felt Derek bite down on his neck, sucking and licking at the hickey. Stiles reached a hand back to rake his fingers through Derek's hair. Soon enough, he heard the expected rumbling.
"I love you, love you so much, Der," Stiles kept repeating unconsciously until he felt Derek's breath near his ear as he replied with, "Love you, Stiles." Derek kept breathing soft comforting words in his ear as he churned his hips.
The orgasm building up from his prostate and Derek's loving words were too much for him. He was coming, shouting Derek's name, still rocking back on Derek's cock.
"Want to make you feel so good, want to make you cum again and again," Derek whispered by his ears, sending quivers through Stiles' body. He moaned and whined about being too sensitive. "You can do it, Stiles. I've got you."
Stiles couldn't move and his legs were still shaking from the orgasm. Derek tugged him closer and continued his slow and deep thrusts. It wasn't long before Stiles felt his own cock twitch in interest. Derek caught the smell and grabbed Stiles' cock in one hand, beginning to stroke lazily along with his trusts. Derek’s lips muffled the wanton moan from Stiles instantly.
Derek's cock was expanding in Stiles and soon enough, he was groaning while edging to another orgasm. Derek couldn't push as smoothly but Stiles' prostate was never amiss. Again, he was coming with Derek's name on his lips, Stiles' fingers lightly pulling at Derek’s hair.
Maybe it was the excitement or the knowledge that he could cum twice that made him keep rocking back onto Derek's expanding cock, but he kept at it, loving the feeling. His cock didn't go soft like he expected and instead stayed hard.
Derek circled his hips over and over again, helping Stiles adjust to the bigger size. His hand roamed around Stiles' chest and down to his stomach where he knew he'd soon be filled. He went back to rubbing Stiles' chest, tweaking a nipple.
"You're going to kill me," Stiles huffed yet smiled when looked back to meet Derek’s soft eyes. “You’re gorgeous, Der,” Stiles whispers, turning slightly and cupping Derek’s face, which was in such an open and vulnerable state. Stiles was falling in love even more.
“Love you,” Derek whispered as he leaned forward, taking Stiles face in his hands and kissing him. Derek slowly peppered kisses on his cheeks, his forehead and his nose and finally pecked his lips before whispering, “You’re everything to me, Stiles. Everything.”
Stiles didn’t even realize he had cum again and maybe it was Derek’s words or his cock that brought wetness in his eyes.
“Same, Der. I love you,” Stiles nuzzled at Derek’s cheek, loving the feeling of stubble.
Derek came shortly after with Stiles rubbing his nipples.
It was half an hour after that Derek could finally pull out and clean Stiles and himself before falling asleep, smelling the sweet scent of them.
They had all said, “We know,” when Stiles and Derek had tried telling the pack about being each other’s mates.