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At the Halloween party in Huntington Park, San Francisco, Castiel finally had to admit to himself that he'd stopped seriously looking for God. He could hardly expect to find Him here, after all. Everywhere he looked, people in demon and angel costumes were bumping and grinding like whores of Gomorrah. The fact was, he'd simply come because of the Heaven and Hell theme, which gave him the opportunity to indulge in a little wistful nostalgia; sure, they weren't really angels, but he'd already seen someone who was a dead ringer for Uriel. In fact, he really rather preferred the fake Uriel, who could samba like nobody's business.
Castiel heaved a deep sigh and sat down on a bench. Fake Uriel or no, it was still depressing being all alone without God, the heavenly host, or even a date.
"It's not easy being a fallen angel on a hopeless quest to save the world from the Apocalypse with no one but two extraordinarily attractive yet completely heterosexual brothers on your side," he said to himself.
"Imagine that," someone said. "A real angel. Sulking."
Castiel looked up to see a man with red horns and a pitchfork standing before him. Despite his words, the man was smiling. Though Castiel didn't recognize him, he knew without a doubt that it was an angel in a human vessel. No mere mortal could be that sexy.
"Hello," he said, rasping even more than usual because his mouth had gone dry with lust. "W-what a coincidence. To meet another angel, I mean. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Somehow that sentence sounded less seductive than when Dean had demonstrated. His palms began to sweat a little. What if he'd just blown it with this divine being?
"Oh, Castiel, Castiel!" the angel said. "You don't need to use lines with me." He sat down on the bench, flush against Castiel, and gazed at him with veiled, half-lidded eyes. "I know what you're thinking. I know all your secret desires."
"Y-you do?" Castiel said. To his horror, it came out as a squeak.
"Yes. I can make them all come true." The angel leaned even closer and whispered in Castiel's ear. "The one about the rare holy oil?" He reached behind him a pulled a small clay jug out of nowhere. "The one involving your tie?" He ran his hand up Castiel's tie, gripping the knot to pull the other angel's head down for a quick nip at his lips. "The one that features Sam and Dean Winchester and a riding crop?" He paused. "Well, I'd need some time for that one."
"How can you know these things?" Castiel gasped. "How do you know me so well?"
A gentle smile settled onto the angel's face. "I've been watching you for a long time, Castiel. I enjoyed it. But after a while, it just became too much. I had to touch you." He ran one finger along Castiel's jaw. "Tell me you feel the same. Aren't you tempted?"
Castiel felt as if Heaven had taken up residence in his pants. Heaven apparently required a lot of blood, because he suddenly felt very light-headed.
"I've never before been so t… wait a minute." He frowned. Then his eyes went wide. "Tempted! I know who you are! You're Lucifer!"
"What a smart boy you are," Lucifer purred. "A smart boy who deserves a reward… in his pants."
"My Father told me never to give away my virtue except with someone I love and who respects me," Castiel said nervously.
"I completely respect you, baby," Lucifer said. "And doesn't your Father also say to love thine enemy? He meant that literally, you know."
"Well…" Castiel considered. "You make a good point. I wouldn't want to go against one of Father's commandments." Besides, if God actually cared what Castiel did with his virtue, he wouldn't have run off and left him, would he?
"You're absolutely right." Lucifer took both of his hands and pulled him up off the bench, leading him through the crowd towards the cathedral at the end of the park.
"You are so hot," Lucifer said when they'd reached the cathedral doors. "I'm going to tear all your clothes off."
Castiel's stomach flip-flopped. He was actually going to get some. He couldn't wait to tell Dean about this!
"Just one thing," Lucifer said.
"What is it?" Castiel said eagerly.
"What color are your socks?"
Castiel frowned, puzzled. "They're pink. Why?"
Lucifer took a shuddering breath. "Oh, baby, you sure know how to please a man."
Castiel blushed.
***
"… and the altar was completely trashed!" Castiel stopped talking to take a breath, then blurted, "It was the most wonderful night of my life!"
Sam and Dean, sitting side by side on a motel bed, stared at him with rapt attention.
"You lost your virginity to Lucifer on the altar of a church?" Sam asked, unbelieving.
"You kept your socks on?" Dean said, sounding even more scandalized.
The two brothers exchanged a look.
"Pink socks?!" they said in unison.