“No.” Derek crossed his arms and glared at Stiles. “There is no way in hell I’m wearing that. Isn’t it enough I’m going to a high school party with you? I’m too old to be at a high school party.”
“Please,” Stiles said. “You’ve been accosting teenagers in the boy’s locker room for nearly three years now. Going to Jackson’s Halloween party with your eighteen year old boyfriend is not nearly that creepy.”
Derek sighed. He really hated it when Stiles called him creepy. “I had a good reason to be there every time.”
“Come on,” Stiles pleaded, ignoring Derek. He shook the full bodied pig costume, drawing Derek’s attention back to the hideous thing. “Scott and Isaac already agreed.”
Derek jerked his head at the bright pink monstrosity. “They agreed to wear that?”
“Well no,” Stiles said. He tossed the costume onto his desk chair and picked up a pig mask. “I thought if I showed you that then this wouldn’t seem as bad in comparison.” He held out the mask. “This is what they agreed to wear.”
Derek frowned at the mask. It was a pink glittery half mask complete with ears and a snout that would cover his eyes and nose, but still leave his mouth free. It was infinitely better than the full pig costume but it was still a pink pig mask. “Good for them. Two pigs ought to be enough.”
“Derek,” Stiles dragged his name out into a whine. “It’s the Three Little Pigs. There have to be three or it won’t work.”
Derek rolled his eyes. “Why do you get to be the big bad wolf anyway?”
“Because Halloween is about being something different for a night.” Stiles pointed at the wolf ears he was wearing. “That means I get to be the wolf and you get to be prey.”
Derek’s heart sped up at the word prey. There was something appealing about Stiles hunting him, but just looking at the pig mask ruined anything sexy about it. He walked over to Stiles’ bed and sat down, picking up the costume wolf paws that Stiles was planning to wear. “What about Boyd or Erica?”
“They laughed in my face when I asked,” Stiles said. He turned to the mirror and began drawing a dog nose on his face while he talked. It looked more like Labrador puppy than a wolf, but Derek decided not to point that out.
“And that worked?” Derek asked. “Because I can laugh in your face too if that’s what it takes.”
Stiles gave him a thoroughly unimpressed look. “So many things are wrong with that. For one thing you don’t laugh, but more importantly if you did manage to pull it off you would be in the dog house for so long. The metaphorical dog house.”
“I figured you didn’t mean a literal one,” Derek responded dryly.
Stiles ignored him as he colored the tip of his nose pink. “Anyway, Erica and Boyd are going as Cinderella and Prince Charming, which to be honest is pretty different than their normal life. I can’t fault that.”
“What’s up with all the fairy tales?” Derek asked. “I thought Halloween was supposed to be full of zombies and slutty nurses.”
Stiles raised his eyebrow at Derek in the mirror without turning around. “You have no idea why our little group may have a thing for fairy tales? Our little group of werewolves?”
Derek didn’t dignify that with a response.
“Also, dude,” Stiles continued. “Do not let Lydia hear you talk about ‘slutty nurses.” He turned around and smirked at Derek. “Actually, never mind, I would love to watch her tear you a new one. The speech Jackson got for suggesting she go as a slutty crayon was epic.”
“Crayon?” Derek asked, his brow furrowed. “How can a crayon be slutty?”
Stiles shrugged and went back to his makeup. “The Halloween costume industry is pretty fucked up—pretty sexist too. After Lydia explained all of that to Jackson they decided to go as a gender swapped Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf. And by they decided, I mean Lydia decided.”
“And you want me to be a pig,” Derek muttered.
“Hey,” Stiles said. “I’m calling it like I see it. I’ve seen the way you live and pigsties are actually cleaner.”
Derek reached behind him and grabbed one of Stiles’ pillows and threw it at Stiles, hitting him in the center of the back.
Stiles laughed and threw the pillow back at Derek. “See! Now you’re turning my room into a sty too. Besides, it could be worse. Pigs are very smart animals and you can even be the one with the brick house. He was smart enough not to die.”
Derek sighed. “You have a brick for me to carry too, don’t you?”
“Of course.” Stiles grinned and walked over to his dresser and picked up a brick. Derek could see a small bundle of straw and one of sticks on the dresser as well. “You know me so well.”
Derek shook his head fondly. “Yeah, yeah I do.”
Stiles grinned and came over to give Derek a quick kiss before grabbing the wolf paw gloves. He slid them on and held his hands in front of himself like he was about to claw someone. “How do I look? Fearsome?”
Derek raised an eyebrow. “I think the correct answer here is yes, so yes.”
Stiles pushed him playfully in the shoulder and sat down next to him on the bed. “So will you wear it?”
Derek sighed. “It’ll make you happy?”
Stiles nodded. He leaned forward until his mouth was next to Derek’s ear, his breath hot, and whispered, “If you wear it, then later tonight I’ll reward you by huffing and puffing and doing my best to blow you.”
Derek’s dick began to harden at the words. He should probably be ashamed that a line like that turned him on, but well, he’d been dating Stiles long enough that he was used to being turned on by ridiculous things. “Fine.”
“Good,” Stiles took Derek’s earlobe between his teeth and pulled it gently before sitting back and handing him the mask. “Isaac and Scott will be here soon.”
Derek stood up and took the mask over to the mirror. He put it on, doing his best to keep Stiles’ promise at the front of his mind as he adjusted the snout. “If you make me go to Jackson’s party again next year, we’re going to pick costumes that don’t involve farm animals.”
Stiles came up behind Derek and slid his arms around his waist. He rested his chin on Derek’s shoulder and looked at him in the mirror. “Next year you can choose.”
An image of Stiles dressed as a slutty nurse popped into Derek’s head and he grinned wide, baring his teeth. He made a very predatory looking pig.
“Oh no, you don’t. I know that smile,” Stiles said, shaking his head quickly, his chin rubbing against Derek’s shoulder. “And there is no way you’re getting me into a slutty nurse costume. I will have veto rights.”
Derek’s face fell. He held up his hands which were covered in pink glitter from the mask. “But I’m covered in pink glitter for you.”
Stiles sighed. “Fine, but there is no way I’m wearing the slutty nurse costume in public.”
“I can work with that.” Derek turned his head to give Stiles an extremely awkward kiss, his snout smearing the makeup on Stiles’ nose and leaving pink glitter behind.
“Watch the makeup!” Stiles exclaimed. He pushed Derek out of the way and began reapplying his nose.
Derek shook his head and sat back down on the bed to watch. He had no idea how he’d gotten to the point in his life where he would willingly wear a pig mask to a Halloween party full of teenagers, but he knew better than to question it too much. It was his experience that happiness rarely lasted and so he was just going to embrace it while he had it--even if that meant pink glitter.