Chapter Text
Science love back on?
Darcy rolled her eyes at the blurry pair of photos on the front page of the latest gossip rag. "For real? They think I'm Betty Ross? Just because Bruce and I grabbed a coffee one time? Have you seen her? The only thing that's even similar is our hair. That's just shitty research."
Jane shrugged and held out a hand. "Probably better if they get it wrong. Now give me that wrench, I need to recalibrate this thing."
*
Pepper Potts heartbroken as Tony Stark steps out with mystery brunette
Darcy glared at the National Enquirer as she waited to check out at the bodega around the corner from her building. She was tempted to put her Mexican Coke back in the cooler and walk out, but she refused to let the media's obsession with the Avengers' love lives have that much sway over her.
She stepped up to the counter and handed over the cash. "Girl on the magazine looks like you," the cashier said.
Darcy shrugged. "Not really. I'm way prettier," she said with a tight grin.
*
Black Widows bats for the other team!
This photo was actually a problem. Darcy bought the magazine on her way in and barged into Coulson's office without knocking.
"One of our people is selling photos to the media," she said, without preamble, and tossed the tabloid on his desk.
He spun it around and frowned at the cover. It showed Natasha on top of Darcy, in what they both knew was a wrestling hold, but looked sexual to the untrained eye. The picture was blurry and from a low angle, probably a cell phone camera, Darcy thought. Coulson sighed and pursed his lips. "I'll take care of it. Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Miss Lewis."
"Any time."
*
Cupid caught by his own arrow? Hawkeye canoodling with SHIELD intern
"Ugh!!! I am not an intern!" She smacked her hand down on the table, rattling the centerpiece.
Steve arched a brow. "Why is that the part of the headline that bothers you?"
"Because it's stupid and sexist. If it were Tasha and some dude, he'd be an 'agent,' but because I'm a young, attractive woman, I'm an 'intern.'"
He sighed and wrapped an arm around her waist. "You know they're just trying to sell magazines."
She wrinkled her nose. "I know. But I don't have to like it."
*
A harem for the Prince of Asgard! Jane Foster not enough for his alien appetites!
Jane marched into the lab with a murderous expression on her face, and banged around for several minutes before whirling on Darcy. "Where do these people get off?"
Darcy sat still, not sure what to do or say. "Um, who?"
"The stupid tabloids!" She picked up a magazine and tossed it at Darcy. "'Alien appetites'? What, do they think we have, like, tentacle sex or something?"
Darcy squinted at the photo, which was of Thor carrying the two of them out of a bar after a couple rounds with a bottle of tequila. Both of them were curled up against his broad chest, giggling drunkenly. "Eh, don't worry about it. No one smart reads the shit anyway."
*
Never-before published photos of Captain America released from Howard Stark's personal archives turn up online
Darcy just gaped at the headline and the photo beneath it. It had been taken last week, at Stark's latest fundraiser, and showed Steve, wearing his dress uniform, swinging her around the dance floor, the skirt of her retro-inspired dress billowing out around her. "Now that's just insulting," she muttered. "I've been paired up with every single Avenger in the press, except my boyfriend, and then they get this great photo, and they still get it wrong!"
Steve grinned at her and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head. "I told you that you looked like a pin-up girl."
She huffed, then bit her lip. "I did look good, didn't I?"
"Always."