Work Text:
As they left the local bar Barack crouched down and balled up some snow, threw it at the back of Rahm's head, and laughed as the man slowly wiped the snow off.
The next day the President found the Secret Service shoveling a mountain of snow off the car, and his daughters were already making use of it with their new sleds.
That evening Rahm returned to home (wife and kids were already in Chicago for the holidays), ignoring the nagging suspicions as he fished for the key, and opened the door to find that someone had gotten in, opened all the windows, and blown in snow. Rahm picked up a mostly blank business card on the frosted coffee table and stared at it.
Michelle told Barack to look out the window the next morning and there on the White House lawn, glistening in all its offensive crystalline glory under the morning D.C. sun was a towering snow sculpture of a hand giving him – Barack – the finger…except half the finger was missing.
Back cancelled Rahm's flight back to Chicago and told Amy that something serious had come up and Rahm wouldn't be able to make it home for the holidays.
Rahm tacked on some mistletoe in strategic locations, and kissed a surprised Michelle in full view of the press.
Barack personally appeared on The Colbert Report.
Rahm told Anderson Cooper that Barack had not stopped smoking and had, in fact, gone up to half a pack a day because the fucking Republicans were giving him a fucking headache.
Barack bought a poodle as Bo's companion.
Rahm returned the poodle, much to Bo's consternation.
Barack bought a German Shepherd and trained him to bring Rahm a fish in a box.
Rahm stuffed Barack's suitcases full of snow before he left for London.
Rahm's own suitcase mysteriously vanished and he wore the same suit for five days with a strained smile on his face.
Rahm spiked Barack's drink.
A drunk Barack kissed Rahm, but he wasn't stunned or drunk enough not to hear the click of a camera.
Anderson Cooper kept the discriminating photo out of Rahm's reach, and only said Barack had set Rahm up.
They never spoke of it ever again.
And then Joe Biden scooped up some snow and hit Rahm in the back.