The first time Zuko woke up, it was dark, and calm, and quiet. They were snuggled together, and he could feel Aang's heart beating slowly against his chest, his chest rising and falling with each slow breath. It was a beautiful night, and Zuko breathed just the slightest bit of satisfied fire out of his nose. He curled his legs up around Aang's, let his head fall on Aang's shoulder, and went back to sleep.
The second time he woke up to Aang yelling.
At first it wasn't clear why: something about "naughty bits," and "perversion," and Zuko thought at first that some news about Sokka had been delivered by royal courier. Then he looked out the window, and saw the sun not being up. No courier, then. A bad dream, maybe?
As he woke further, the idea of listening to his consort seemed like a good one.
"... and that's why we shouldn't be having sex."
It seemed to Zuko that there were plenty of reasons for that right now. "Because it's three in the morning?"
"No, because it's wrong." That was a new one. Zuko cast his mind back to figure out why sex had become wrong in the time between this morning and ten last night. It didn't seem to have done so.
"Sex is wrong?"
Aang started to hover, the way he did when he felt like he wasn't being taken seriously enough. It was, certainly, hard not to take someone seriously when he was floating above you by throwing wind in your face. "Haven't you been listening?"
"Yes, of course. Sex is wrong."
Aang gave one of his exasperated growls, and Zuko did his best not to think about how sexy it sounded- since sex was wrong, and all.
"Sex isn't wrong?" That was good. If sex was still alright, he could just roll over and go back to sleep. As soon, of course, as his human pillow came back down into bed.
"Sex isn't wrong," Zuko thought they'd covered that already, "but us having sex is. I shouldn't be here."
Maybe he was tired, but that last one certainly didn't seem right.
Aang continued. "I shouldn'b be having sex with my great grandson."
Ah. So that was what this was about. Best to play as if he didn't know. "Your what?"
"My great grandson! My son's son's daughter's son! The person-"
"That would be your great great grandson."
"Fine. My son's daughter's son."
"That's better." Anything to get him off the topic.
"You! I shouldn't be having sex with you!" And there he was, back on it.
"But you don't have a son."
"Not anymore, he's dead."
"That wasn't you. That was Avatar Roku. And until you grow a full head of hair and a beard, I'm pretty sure I can tell the difference."
"I had hair for a while."
"Roku had hair for his whole life. The Fire Sages' records are very clear on the matter."
"But I used to be him. And I had a son. And he had a daughter. And she was your mother! And now I'm being all kissy and sexy with you and that's wrong and gross!"
Zuko tried to give him a stare that said I refuse to believe, based on my experience of your reactions, that you think our carnal activity is gross. Unfortunately, it felt more like a stare saying I am a gigantic pervert and want to do naughty things to your body. That was the problem with trying to be precise in your body language this early in the morning.
"I said, that's wrong and gross." The wind knocked Zuko off his feet, and right onto his- rather sore, he noted- ass. He got up with all the dignity befitting the lord of the great Fire Nation, and rubbed his behind.
He meant to follow up with all the brilliant points in his favor, but he must have taken too long.
"I'm looking." And hovering. "And do you know what I see?"
"No! I see my great grandson, with whom I absolutely shouldn't have been having sex!"
"Is he outside the window?"
"No, he's-" This could not be allowed to continue.
"Because the only things I see out there are trees. And I guess I agree, since I sure as hell don't want my consort running off with some tree." He even managed the perfect jealous face, aimed in just the right direction to let the trees know that he would be watching in case they tried anything.
"Will you listen to me?" It was hard not to, the way he was punctuating each word with a blast of air.
"I am listening!" Zuko framed his response in a yell that would have terrified his subjects with its ferocity. To Aang, who had known him back when he was searching for his honor, he probably just sounded a bit calmer than his usual self.
"I am not leaving you for a tree!" That was good. If he actually had been, Zuko might have had to lead his nation in a war of retribution against the trees of the world.
"I'm leaving you because our being together is creepy and wrong and it's all my fault!" That part could have been better.
"You shouldn't be leaving me at all! You should be staying with me and lying in my bed because I love you!"
"But you can't love me like that! I'm your ancestor!"
"And I say that's stupid!" The candles in the room all flared up. Might as well fight fire with fire- or fight air with fire, as the case was.
"You're stupid!" This was impossible. If Aang wasn't going to be mature about this, there was nothing Zuko could do.
"No, you're stupid!" Except descend to his level.
"If I'm the stupid one, how come you never realized we were in the land of creepy incest?"
"Because we're not! We are not in the land of creepy incest! Do you know why?" He might try to redirect it- air did that to fire- but all Zuko could do right now was go on the offensive.
"Because you don't have a great grandson! I wouldn't have let you cheat on me! You can't have a great grandson, because you can't have a son!"
"It wasn't cheating! I hadn't even met you yet!"
The cheesy poet in Zuko wanted to say that the silence was deafening, but in fact it was just kind of annoying. He snickered.
Aang made a kind of confused pout. "What?"
"Aang. You were eleven when you met me."
Aang's brow furrowed in that extremely undignified way that made his arrow look like a penis. "And?"
"And so you hadn't had any children! You were eleven!"
Aang looked unconvinced.
"And you were gay."
Aang's expression softened, and he let himself drop onto the bed. "You know, I guess that's true."
"And you- wait. Did you just agree?"
That got him a grin from the man lying down on his pillows. "Yes."
"You mean my cunning argumentation about the meaning of past lives and the identity of the Avatar within the world is useless, but 'Hey don't you like cock?' is the ultimate in convincing persuasion?"
"Well, it did make me think of something I'd rather be doing than having this fight."
Zuko lay down next to his lover, and let an ear rest on the airbender's chest. "Why don't you show me some of them?" he whispered.
It wasn't really clear whether his words had reached anyplace other than Aang's nipples, but judging by the effect, it didn't really matter.