It was like drowning. That asphixiating sensation where you couldn’t breathe right, the air rushed out of your lungs and replaced with something that squeezed and contricted in you. It was like drowning when Loki kissed you.
When his lips brushed against yours before claiming them whole, swallowing any whimpers you have and coaxing your mouth to work against his. Tony’s knees buckled and he found a grip on Loki’s shoulders, sliding further down the wall his back was against which brought the god down with him.
It was inevitable, what was going to happen. They both knew it, and they’d both accepted it. Even so, it made Tony breathe easier when Loki pulled away, just slightly, keeping their noses touching and murmured against his still open lips, so breathless it just didn’t seem real. ”Do you—do you still—?”
The question wasn’t finished. It didn’t need to be. Tony gently took Loki’s left hand, his heart pounding, and he brought the hand clenched in his own down until it was placed between his legs.
”Yes.” He whispered back, his gasp when Loki’s fingers found purchase, muffled by Loki’s lips.
Loki was shaking when he leaned over Tony’s half-dressed body, his own bare and naked skin sheened with sweat as he dipped his thumbs under Tony’s waistband and slowly pulled his shorts down and over his legs.
Tony caught his face between his hands and lifted his back to kiss Loki. ”It’s okay…”
He had no reply. But that was expected, Loki hated being comforted, even when it was something he craved most in that moment. The shaking ceased anyhow and Loki kissed Tony back, pushing him down again, and shifting until Tony’s legs were spread beneath him.
The darkness of the night was the helpful blanket, securing them both, disguising their bodies into dark shadows to take the fear of being caught away and it also hid the nervousness in both their eyes.
A muscle in Tonys leg twitched when Loki’s fingers brushed against his entrance and he tensed, spasmed, and kicked out on reflex.
Loki’s fingers paused in their movements, the room becoming deathly silent, and when they pulled away Tony saw the resigned look on his face.
“I’d thought so…” He sat back, leaving Tonys body feeling so very warm without his ever cold presence covering him. “I should never have—” He straightened, leaning as though he were going to stand and Tony lunged forward with a speed he hadn’t known he possessed.
“No, wait.” His hands found Loki’s arm, the skin clammy under his touch, but it was moved out of his grip, making him slump forwards. “Don’t go.” He said to the bedsheets. “It was just a reflex I swear. I’m not afraid of you, you know that.” He looked up at Loki then, meeting his gaze head on. “I’ve never been afraid of you.”
There was a pause when he thought he’d lost his chance with Loki when:
Loki wasn’t rough with him. Why would he be? With all the destruction he’d seen and caused why would he take the most intimate of moments and turn it into something violent?
Tony writhed encouragingly beneath him, his body rising and twisting on its own accord as he hissed through his teeth, moaning and grunting when Loki thrust a little deeper, a little faster.
Loki’s arms tensed around his head, his bare skin taunt and shining with perspiration, the muscles over his abdomen rippling and coiling as he slid in and out of Tony. It was almost mesmerising.
Loki leaned down and kissed him, smiling against Tonys lips when he rose up to met him halfway. Tony gasped into his kisses, feeling Loki’s hold on his hips tighten, hearing Loki’s own murmurs of pleasure and endearments in his ear.
It was slower than anything Tony had ever had and that was fine. In fact, that was perfect. Because 20 minutes with your muscles cramping, and your body aching while you nursed the memory of the ferocious pace you’d fucked to, was wonderful yeah, but it was just sex.
This…This pace Loki had chosen, one that suited the both of them, gave them both enough pleasure to let them roll on for a lot longer than anyone ever had with Tony.
It was something else. Something more intimate than sex. It was making love.
“Haaaohh god…” Tony rolled his head back, his neck stretched and thrumming with his blood when Loki’s kissed his pulse. He didn’t bite. He didn’t need to. They both knew without the physically claiming stereotypes of sexual pleasure. Tony knew he was his.
He shuddered when Loki thrust a little deeper in him, bunching his hands in the sheets and he cried out when he felt Loki come inside him. His moans became breathless, fluttering sounds when Loki used his hands to help Tony find his climax afterwards. As Loki continued to fuck up into him.
“Oh god…oh godohgodohGOD…”
God, Tony was his. He was. He’d always hated the idea of being half of someone. He’d wanted to be himself, to depend on himself and to crave only himself.
Then Loki had come into his life and all those notions were flipped over, spinned around and dumped upside down.
He sighed when Loki pulled out of him, slowly, making a ridiculously sounding needy moan that had Loki chuckling against his chest and Tony shivering at the feel of the vibrations Loki made around him.
The shaking started again but Tony simply wrapped himself around Loki, soothing him and ignoring all the protests and apologies.
“It’s just been a-while. I’ll be alright…”
“You don’t need to explain yourself to me.”
Tony hummed under Loki, his hands sliding over his smooth skin, as Loki finally figured how to relax and gathered Tony up in his own arms, rolling them over until Tony rested over him.
He smiled against Loki’s neck, loving the feeling of their embrace, of being held by someone like this. Even Pepper hadn’t curled into him in bed like he was doing to Loki. He felt…warm inside. And god didn’t that sound unbelievably corny…
But If Tony was Loki’s, then Loki…
Loki was forever.