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Waterfalls and Windmills

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"But you said I was competent at hand to hand combat now."

Eliot didn't grind his teeth. "No, I said you could hold your own."

"Which means I'm competent." At this statement of irrefutable logic, Parker bounced over to check out the mini-castle on the eighth hole, her ponytail bobbing with her.

"That's not the point," Eliot reiterated.

"No," Hardison's voice chimed in, "the point is that while Sophie's distracting Mr. Pink, you two are on a miniature golf course, at midnight, with goons around. They may be incompetent goons, but they're still goons. Possibly goons with guns. If you don't pay attention you're going to get hurt, and if you get hurt I'm going to have to spank y'all tonight."

Diverted, Eliot smirked. "And how, exactly, are you going to hold us? I escape from third world and first world and whatever other world prisons on a regular basis, and she's disappeared again. Dammit, Parker, where are you?"

"That's what the handcuffs are for," Hardison retorted, "and how did you lose Parker on a minigolf course in the middle of eight acres of nothingness? There's nowhere around to lose her!"

"I'm not lost guys, I'm right here." Eliot looked up and saw her perched on top of the mini-castle. "Parker, what are you doing up there? Get down! And, Hardison, the handcuffs are pink, and-"

Nate interrupted the argument Eliot was building. "If you all don't stop talking about handcuffs and start paying attention to the job, I'm going to put you all in time out, and then nobody's going to be spanking anybody tonight. Parker, I know you're the King of their Castle, but could you please get a little lower to the ground and stay off the surveillance cameras? We can see you, and if we can see you security can see you."

"Now, you see the things you drive him to? You made him talk about spanking. He's got that funny little look on his face that says he's shocked and appalled at the things that just came out of his mouth."

"You brought it up," Parker pointed out. "And why are the handcuffs pink? I want a set of yellow handcuffs. Why don't they make them in a nice bright yellow? Or maybe kelly green."

Eliot saw two men failing to creep stealthily alongside the fence at the edge of the course. "Hey, guys, incoming. We'll get back to you in a second." He tossed Parker a package of the golf balls and grabbed two of the putters. The burly guys in black didn't even bother with the usual repartee, they just attacked. Parker took out Thug One with a few well-aimed golf balls, and Eliot quickly dispatched Thug Two.

"See, competent!" Parker back-flipped off the castle, bounded over, and dropped a kiss on his mouth. Eliot, who excelled at responding to changing circumstances, deepened it.

"Hey, hey! I can hear you, you know! What are y'all doing, kissing without me!"

Eliot grinned. "Sorry, dude, I guess we'll have to make it up to you. How about a pan of brownies?"

"They'd have to be awfully good brownies to be an adequate recompense for missing such a lovely sight."

"Guys!" Nate's voiced sliced out, "work!"