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Oh Captain, My Queen

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“My, my…” It wasn’t Kathryn’s voice, not really: too sharp, too decadent and cruel. Look at what we have here.”

Chakotay became gradually aware of his surroundings, a gothic style darkened chamber in the black and white gradient environment of the Captain Proton program, and the fact that he couldn’t move his hands or legs. What the hell?

He struggled to remember the last thing that had happened to him. He’d teased Kathryn about her continued visits to Tom’s Captain Proton program on her own and she’d invited him along, offering to help him understand why she enjoyed the Arachnia role. She’d initially suggested he play Proton, but he’d balked at the idea of playing Tom’s juvenile character. Instead, she’d convinced him to take on some other character whom Arachnia was supposedly going to try to coax into siding with her in her endless quest for power.

“I’ll tell you what?” she’d grinned conspiratorially, “If things get out of control and you want to stop, just say my name and whole program will deactivate.”

“Are you seriously suggesting that I need a safeword to run this holoprogram with you?” he’d scoffed incredulously, “How many times have we visited the holodeck together?”

“That may be,” she chuckled, “But you’ve never been met Arachnia. So if you find you aren’t up for the experience, just remember to say Kathryn and bring me back to myself.”

He’d shaken his head, unsure as to why this program should be so different from any other, but mainly figuring she was playing with him.

That was before he found himself strapped down and unable to break free. The last thing he remembered, he’d been trying to look anywhere but at Kathryn’s exposed cleavage and the way she was licking her lips over the parley banquet Arachnia had invited his character to. She must have holo-drugged the wine.

Kathryn circled around where he was manacled on some sort of table and he got a good look at her in the Arachnia costume, clinging, low cut, each step revealing a long expanse of pale leg emerging from the dress’ slit.

“What have you done to me?” he remembered to demand, using his surprise in place of outrage, trying not to focus on the sensuous slink of her movements as she played Arachnia… the sway of her hips and the thrust of her chest as she laughed wickedly.

“Nothing yet,” she drawled, approaching closer and running a painted nail down his chest slowly, “You had no intention of helping me, so I’m preparing to use more… persuasive methods to ensure your compliance.”

Chakotay swallowed, trying to keep a level head. Kathryn was clearly enjoying herself, though, leaning over him, and he had to wonder if she knew just what an appealing angle she was presenting him with.

“I’m not some toy for you to amuse yourself with, Arachnia…” he protested, making a halfhearted show of straining against his bonds.

“Oh, I think you will quite enjoy what I have planned.”

Her hand trailed lower, down towards his navel, and Chakotay had to take a very deep breath. Just because he hadn’t seen the appeal of this particular program didn’t mean that he hadn’t imagined being as physically at Kathryn’s mercy as he always was in spirit.

“You can’t force me to destroy Earth for you,” he told her, paying lipservice to the role, even if his delivery was anything but convincing. Pretending to be someone else had never been his strong suit.

She grabbed his jaw with one hand, preventing him from looking away Chakotay didn’t bother resisting, instead breathing in sharply and wondering again just how far Kathryn was planning on taking this game. After all, perhaps there was some reason she’d told him about the deactivation command after all.

“I’m not going to force you,” she leaned over him, body inches from his own, whispering sinisterly, “Before I’m done with you, you are going to beg me to allow you to wreck whole galaxies for my amusement.”

Surely, she couldn’t be… Chakotay scanned her appearance for any telltale signs of exactly what she had planned. If he didn’t know better he’d think she meant something she surely didn’t. And yet…

The safeword. Yes, it was definitely intentional. This was a test. The only question was what kind.

“And why is that?” he asked, buying time as he tried in vain to slow his racing pulse and redirect his blood flow from its current trajectory.

“Because I’m going to give you what you most desire,” she purred, eyes drifting to his mouth and staying there with no attempt to hide the longing behind her gaze,“It wouldn’t do for you to confess it, but you are consumed with thoughts of Arachnia. Admit it.”

Chakotay certainly was consumed by Kathryn, by his feelings, his devotion, his desire. It wouldn’t do to say so though. Clearly she was playing a game and he was supposed to play along.

“I could have any woman on dozens of worlds. I’m a thousand years old and I’m not going to turn into some servile creature just because you lift your skirt,” he barely managed not to groan as this time both hands roamed over his body through the flimsy material of the shiny silver costume. He was only human.

Kathryn didn’t touch him like this. Kathryn didn’t look at him like this. Kathryn’s touches were comforting, a sign of reassurance, not a provocation.

Now though… she looked like she was ready to devour him whole. She’d straightened up and arched her back, giving him a view of her shape and he could have sworn... Those are her nipples poking out through that dress, he realized.

“I’m not just any woman,” she shook her head, one hand continuing lower and lower, until… surely she wasn’t about to. She did, smirking as she traced the evidence of just how compelling he was finding the Arachnia act, “Deep down I think you know that.”

Spirits, she couldn’t be doing this. He must be going mad. Kathryn definitely had not invited him to the holodeck for the purpose of initiating some sort of sexy bondage scenario when every time they so much as got too close to one another on the couch after one of their dinners she bolted.

“And why is that?”

Surely, any moment she would remember herself and back away. He knew this, and yet he couldn’t control the way his hips thrust up into the contact as her hand ghosted over where he was straining against the too tight pants of the costume he was wearing.

“I think you know,” she smirked, licking her lips, “I think you know that Arachnia could do things to you that you’ve only dreamed of, things you can’t even admit to yourself how desperately you desire.”

“And what is that?”

Take me, Kathryn. I’m yours. Just this once even, to feel her, see her, hear her. He’d wanted her for so long and so desperately.

“Dominate you. Control you. Take away your sense of self even.”

There is was, he realized. The clear meaning of the choice of safeword: Kathryn. It was about control. He had to remember that she was being Arachnia, that Kathryn Janeway would never… Whatever she was planning on doing, it hinged on him keeping up some pretense that she was someone else, someone who had no problem staring him like the was the last meal on Earth.

“With your pheromones…” he started, proud of himself for remembering that plot point, “You can get any man to do your bidding. Why the charade?”

Why the pretense with me? he added mentally. He’d never played hard to get with Kathryn, if she wanted to change the boundaries between them there wasn’t any need to hide behind some campy pretext.

“A spider can’t change her nature. It is in my nature to ensnare, to beguile.”

In spite of himself, Chakotay was losing the battle of reason. It didn’t matter anymore what Kathryn’s angle was. He just needed her to keep touching him.

“I think there is more to it, unless you screw everyone you ask for a favor.”

“Very well then. I’m drawn to power and you have it. I can’t resist wanting it for my own.”

“So you are going to take it… by taking me?”

He was definitely out of character at this point but he didn’t care.

“By the time I’m done with you you’ll be utterly and completely my creature,” she rasped, hands gripping his thighs in a way that should have been uncomfortable but instead was oh so good.

The way she said it made him desperately hope that was true, that she was really about to lay claim to him in the most primal of ways.

“In your dreams, Arachnia.”

He desperately wished he had use of his hands, but maybe it was for the best that he didn’t. The situation would surely have tested his self control, as Kathryn swung one leg over his body to hover over him. He could hear the sound of her dress ripping to create a higher slit and feel the warmth of her body close to his, smell the scent of… oh hell it was arousal: her arousal.

“No,” she almost growled, “In yours.”

Then her body was pressed against his, face so close he could feel her breath. His body moved of its own accord, straining up against her, neck craning to lift his face to hers. She was too quick though.

“Admit that you want me,” she commanded, keeping just out of reach.

“I want you,” he couldn’t keep himself from responding.

She claimed his mouth without hesitation or restraint, rolling her hips against his, arching her body so that her chest pressed against his more forcefully… like they were established lovers in truth.

It was everything and nothing he’d imagined.

She sat up slightly, reaching for the jacket to his costume and ripping it open forcefully, dragging her nails down his chest and then bending back down to follow and nip at the red marks left behind.

Chakotay had imagined being with Kathryn too many times to count, dozens of ways, but he’d never imagined her taking him like this, ice cold and burning up at the same time. He’d never imagined the deadly serious game she was playing now.

“Beg me,” she repeated, running her tongue over one of his hipbones and then sucking at it.

“Please,” he didn’t bother holding out, “Spirits… please!”

“Please what?” she smirked, running one hand back over his erection through the material of the pants before lowering down a little more and using her teeth to continue undressing him.

“Don’t tease…” he gasped.

“But you enjoy when I do so much,” she grinned.

He did enjoy it. There was no question about that. The past years had been full of teasing, intentional and not, and he wouldn’t have traded them for the world.

Okay… maybe he would have traded them for-

His thought was cut off as Kathryn’s tongue crept out of her mouth and slowly ran along the bottom ridge of his erection. She reached the tip and languidly licked the tip, smirking at the way it jumped as her every moment.

“Tell me, did you imagine this… Imagine the powerful Arachnia servicing you like this?”

She circled the head with her tongue, before teasing the slit again, keeping her attentions light and intentional.

“I imagined the reverse, you riding my face, tasting you…” he confessed, completely incapable of pretense at this point.

He had always imagined himself as the one to pleasure her first, making love to her slowly and thoroughly, licking her, touching her. This was hot as hell, but it certainly wasn’t what he’d envisioned all this time.

“You want to taste me?” she seemed almost taken aback and for a moment Chakotay worried he’d violated the rules of whatever this was, ruined it.

She straightened up and he was sure that the moment was spoiled, but then she reached down and casually tore her dress further, almost up to her navel, revealing herself (and the fact that she wore nothing beneath it) to him. He forgot to breathe for a moment. It wasn’t just how perfectly sexy her body looked, it was seeing how turned on and ready she was.

She adjusted her straddle slightly, keeping one hand on his leg as the other reached between hers, parting the arousal inflamed lips to her entrance and gathering the moisture from between them with a single finger, which she circled against her exposed clit with a shudder.

He was pretty sure he’d never experienced a more erotic sight. He desperately wanted to touch her, to sit up and suck at her obviously hardened nipples through the dress, to hold her hips in his hands. He knew it was pointless, but he strained against his restraints anyway.

“Please,” he groaned, “Seeing you, smelling you, is driving me insane.”

“Ask me again.”

“Let me taste you. Please. I’m begging.”

She drew her hand down a little further again, dragging her fingers through the glistening mess of desire, before dropping her knees forward to straddle his waist and placing her other hand just below his throat as she moved it towards his lips.

Capturing her index finger between his lips, he sucked greedily, moaning against her hand. With her on his tongue, he couldn’t resist imagining what it would be like to have his head buried between her legs, surrounded by her: tasting, smelling, and feeling. His tongue caressed the back of her finger as she slowly drew it back, offering him the next one as he sucked and licked her hand clean. He noted, with satisfaction, that her eyes rolled back at the attention.

“You really do want it don’t you?”

Kathryn’s voice seemed a little strained, less florid than the way she’d been playing Arachnia thus far.

“More,” he pleaded openly, having noticed how much she seemed to enjoy his admissions of desperation, even if they were a departure from the character he was supposed to be playing.

She arched her back with a self satisfied smile, mouth falling open slightly as she moved her hand back to her own body, rubbing her clit back and forth for a moment, before spreading her legs a little further apart and making sure he has a good view of her index finger pressing slowly inside of her and the evident enjoyment on her face.

“How does it make you feel, when I touch myself like this?”

“It’s transfixing… intoxicating ever. I’d do anything to get to replace your hand with mine.”

“I’m going to use your body soon,” she murmured, eyelids fluttering closed briefly, like she could barely keep them open.

“Tell me… please?”

“I’m going to rub myself all over you to start with, the first of three ways I’m going to mark you as mine.”

“Three?”

“Yes. Three.” She pressed one hand down against the center of his chest as she left a trail of arousal down his stomach and groin, “The second is the visible ones I’m going to make with my nails and teeth all over your skin.”

“Why the marking your territory? Afraid someone else might swoop in?”

He knew she probably wouldn’t admit a real motivation, after all this was Arachnia’s choice not Kathryn’s. Unlike him, she actually revelled in being someone else for a while.

“Never,” she laughed, running her hands down his chest as she lifted her hips a little to shift over his erection, lowering back down against to rub herself, warm and wet, along the underside as she whispered in his ear, “The third set of marks I will leave are in your mind, binding your loyalty to me and me alone. The physical ones are for your sake… a keepsake.”

He thought of how those would linger, after they left the holodeck and Arachnia behind, how he’d be aware of her knowledge they they were there, under his uniform. He had no idea what she was planning beyond this moment, but the idea of tangible evidence made it felt more real.

“Please…”

She bit his shoulder… hard. It shouldn’t have felt good but it did, especially as she continued rubbing against him, coating his length in her desire.

“Ka-Keep going… Please!” he recovered, thankful for the way her tongue tracing the bite mark her teeth had left behind.

“Tell me what you want…”

“Everything. Anything. I want you to take exactly what you want.”

Her hands moved down to his thighs, nails embedding themselves in the tender flesh there as she continued to tease him with the feeling of her against but not yet around him; although, if the way her breath caught and her body tensed as he pressed against just the right spot were any indication, she was teasing them both equally.

“Isn’t it better now that you aren’t resisting,” she whispered, nipping and then sucking his earlobe, “Now that you’ve submitted to my will.”

“Yes…” he groaned, overwhelmed by the feeling of her rubbing against his erection, sucking at his skin, and the way her nails were digging into him.

He groaned in frustration as the contact vanished, Kathryn sliding down lower to fulfill her promise of using her mouth to mark more of him. He could still feel how wet she was against his leg, as she continued to grind herself against it, even as she left vivid marks all over his torso and still lower on his thighs.

“Every time you look at these marks,” she told him, “You’ll be reminded of Arachnia.”

I’ll always be reminded of you, Kathryn… like I could ever forget you for a moment.

He longed so much to be able to touch her with his hands, to be able to claim her with his mouth. He was going mad, addicted as he was now to the lust driven little sounds and movements she was making. His abandoned cock ached and strained, longing for some part of her to touch him.

Fortunately, the was she was writhing against him and her labored breathing told him that she must be getting close to the breaking point as well.

“Take everything from me,” he entreated, “Please just-”

He couldn’t finish his sentence; because she moved so quickly back up his body, only teasing the head of his erection for a moment before plunging down around him.

She let out a sob (of relief he thought from her change in body tension), digging her nails into his shoulders and pressing herself as much around him as possible.

He wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to wrap himself around her body until he couldn’t distinguish where he ended and she began.

She steadied herself with an arm over his head against the table and he took advantage of the way her movement brought one of her breasts within reach of his face, licking her through the fabric. She reached down and ripped the dress the rest of the way down the front, freeing her chest to his attentions as she ground her hips into his.

As she sat up, he mourned the loss of his ability to reach her, but the sight was too wonderful to regret, especially with the way she’d titled her hips and the resulting angle at which she was taking him.

“Mine,” she gasped, movements getting rougher and more frantic, “All mine.”

He wasn’t sure what part of this was Kathryn and what was Arachnia, but he was pretty sure he understood that Kathryn needed the character somehow in order to let go… and she was letting go.

“Yes,” he replied, “This is yours. I’m yours.”

Rocking desperately, high pitched whines escaping her mouth, she started to clench around him, letting out a louder cry. The sound and feeling shook him to the core. The way she was taking him, taking what she clearly craved, needed even. The knowledge made his head spin. He didn’t care what kind of excuses she needed; he just wanted it to never stop.

She slowed down but did not let up in intensity, and all he could do was strain against his bonds and try to arch his hips as much as possible. He’d never seen anything or felt anything as transcendent. Time blurred, everything losing its meaning other than the divine pleasure and all encompassing experience of Kathryn riding him.

Her nails in his skin.

Her breasts rubbing against his bare chest as he leaned down to claim his mouth with her own, never stopping her constant hip movements as she nipped and sucked on his lower lip.

The sight of her leaning back, one hand holding her breasts to keep them from jostling as she took him hard and fast, the other hand on her clit.

The way she braced herself with her hands against his chest, one knee up under his arm, foot pressing against his hip for leverage and the other lower, hooked under his thigh, pressing him closer and deeper.

“Kathryyyyyn…” he lost track of everything other than the feeling of her body and staring into her eyes.

“Chakotay! Oh my… Cha-kooo-taaay!”

He didn’t even realize that his hands were free until she was responding to them all over her body, tracing her back and clutching her to him.

He felt her start to tighten, yet again, reacting to his touch, and he pulled her down into his waiting mouth, kissing her lips and her neck as he cupped her breasts in his hand. Her moans and the way she was clenching with every moment, left him in no doubt as to her enjoyment.

His hands moved to her hair, destroying its carefully constructed style, as he arched his body against hers, letting out a strangled cry.

“You can let go,” she murmured against his mouth, “You’ve earned it.”

With that, she moved to sit back up, but he followed her, wrapping his arms around her back and burying his face against her throat, breathing her in.

She ground down into his lap, taking him intently, and he was finally able to meet her movements with his own.

He meant to stop, to pull back and kiss every inch of her skin, to cherish the moment, but he was too far gone, hips meeting hers feverishly.

The way their moans tangled together, her hands at his shoulders pulling in time with each thrust like she was trying to get him closer than the realities of physics would allow.

“Now,” she urged, and he had no choice but to heed her command, his body tensing and then the flood of release, all that tension spilling from him, leaving him shaking and unable to move.

It was only when she stiffened suddenly, pulling away, that he noticed the hologrid around them, Arachnia’s castle having vanished in the moment where he forgot himself and cried out her name. She must have just realized as well.

He watched her look down at their torn costumes, discomfort and embarrassment on her face.

“It looks like we might need a site to site,” he joked, trying to break the tension, but she only twisted out of his arms and scrambled to her feet, looking around frantically as if something was about to magically appear that would change the situation.

“I didn’t mean…” she started, clutching the Arachnia dress closed in front of her with her hands, “You said my name and I didn’t-”

“Kathryn…” he kept his voice soft and stayed on the flood, tucking his legs under him.

Her reaction hurt, cutting through the warm hazy sensation of pleasure that he’d had moments before. It was one thing for her to feel awkward after letting go, it was another for her to regret what they’d done.

“I can’t believe…”

“Kathryn,” he repeated, a little more firmly, “Just talk to me. I thought this was something you wanted or I would never have dreamed of-”

It took all his willpower not to panic himself. He’d resigned himself to the small intimacies Kathryn had allowed, dinners and candlelight and loaded conversations where so much more was said than stated. Today she’d turned that all upside down, and he didn’t know how he would live with it if the price for this afternoon was going forward with it as a barrier between them.

“I shouldn’t have done this.”

She seemed suddenly small and he wanted to comfort her, but he didn’t dare make a move towards her right now.

“Why? It seemed like you…” he swallowed hard, “Please don’t tell me this was about something other than what you wanted.”

“Oh Chakotay…” she sighed, gaze softening towards him and she knelt back down on the floor facing him, “I did… want. It just wasn’t right of me to manipulate you like this. It was underhanded and you deserve better.”

He hoped that at last he understood something that he could actually make better.

“Don’t,” he hesitantly reached his hands out for hers, “You know me better than that. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want and you knew it.”

“It’s not what you want, though,” she laughed sadly, shaking her head, “I know you, Chakotay. Being claimed by Arachnia isn’t… And I still can’t. This was more than I should have-”

“Kathryn,” he laced his fingers with hers, “I meant what I said back on New Earth. Your happiness is mine, your satisfaction... my satisfaction. Yes, there are things I wish I could have with you, but I understand why you feel the way you do, even if I disagree passionately. Today… today was a gift I didn’t expect. So it you need to tie me up, if you need to be Arachnia, to let that part of yourself out, that’s okay with me. I need you to know that.”

“Are you sure?” she searched his face, eyes glistening with emotion, “Chakotay. I need you to be honest with me… as you always have. If you once again let me define parameters, if I set the terms based on my needs… I don’t want this to eat away at you.”

He didn’t let the other words come tumbling out of his mouth: It eats away at me every day. I keep myself hanging on by feeding off those little scraps, the little moments you allow us. Today will suffice in the place of a month of sly smiles. It doesn’t matter though; because, your unhappiness destroys me, utterly and completely. Being apart from you aches, but it’s better than the alternatives.

He needed to tell her that it would be fine, that he was capable of taking care of himself. He needed to lighten the mood.

“Kathryn, what you are trying to apologize for is something anyone in their right mind would beg for. As I recall, I did.”

“That’s right,” she grinned in spite of herself, “You did. Extensively.”

He brought their hands up to his face, kissing the insides of her wrists, “I’d gladly do it all over again.”

“There have to be rules,” she told him, resisting the shiver that he could see overtake her. He could tell she was warring with herself.

“Okay,” he agreed, “Rules.”

Please, Kathryn, he prayed, Please don’t close back down.

“When is your next scheduled holodeck time?” she asked, seemingly out of left field.

“I’m running a boxing simulation the day after next.”

“It’s going to have to wait. I’ve got a very different program in mind for us.”

He couldn’t stop the grin that threatened to split his face at her teasingly suggestive response.