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Unattainable Things

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Bucky wanted. He wasn’t used to want things, not after Hydra, and he certainly wasn’t used to be allowed to want things. He had thought Hydra had trained that out of him but after over a year with the Avengers he knew now that he had been wrong thinking that. Spectacularly so.

His recovery had gone slow, too slow for his liking, and it had taken him especially long to voice his wants and needs again. During those first few months he had still been afraid that the team would punish him like Hydra did if he ever let out that he had preferences for things or that he plainly didn’t want to do anything. It had taken some moments of defiance, where he just thought ‘Fuck it, I can take the punishment’ for him to realize that there would be no punishment.

But now he was over that, he knew it was allowed and even good to want things, and oh boy did he want. It was only unclear if he would always get what he wanted. There were things that were easy to get, like a special meal or some sweets and then there were things that were harder to get, like a week without some moron trying to defeat the Avengers or a certain movie during team night.

And then there were things that were unattainable for him. Like Steve. And Tony.
Because Bucky had done what could probably be considered the worst move ever and fell in love with both of them.

He hadn’t realized it at first and thought he was jealous of Tony because he got to snuggle Steve during movie night and got to go to bed with him and get lazy morning kisses but after some time Bucky realized that it wasn’t jealousy. It was want, pure and unadulterated, and not only for Steve but both of them. He wanted in on their relationship and he wanted it badly.

He had tried to take what he could get from them, because neither Steve nor Tony were shy with their touches and they apparently thought it would be no problem to not only snuggle with each other during movie nights but also somehow rope Bucky in but that hadn’t worked out for him.

It blurred the lines, made it too easy to pretend that he was somehow part of this, and he couldn’t take it. It hurt too much, demanded too much restraint from him to not lean into the touches like he wanted and it was so easy to forget himself and just kiss one of them. And that couldn’t happen.

Tony and Steve were happy together, finally, and Bucky wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that.

So he tried to keep his distance, to put as much space between him and them as he could but it was difficult. Steve had long since disregarded the concept of personal space when it came to Bucky and Tony was constantly working on and improving the arm and being topless in the workshop with Tony so close to him was a completely new kind of hell that Bucky hadn’t considered before.

He had managed to switch places with Natasha during movie night, though, to avoid being cuddled by them, so that could be counted as a win. And to his endless relieve Natasha hadn’t even questioned him when he went to ask her.

Retrospectively, he realized that it was unlikely that Natasha would give up her armchair without demanding an explanation and that could only mean that she knew exactly why he didn’t want to sit next to Steve and Tony anymore but since she hadn’t said anything Bucky wouldn’t bring it up either.

If there had been more reassuring touches from her whenever Steve and Tony did something disgustingly adorable though, no one had to know.

But there was only so much Bucky could do to avoid them and given how run down he felt it wasn’t nearly enough. He had taken a week off to visit Sam, who adamantly refused to move into the tower and therefore the madness that was this team, his words not Bucky’s, and that had been the most relaxed he had been in a few months.

Maybe it had helped that once after Sam realized that something was indeed wrong he had given Bucky every opportunity to tell him what it was until Bucky finally spilled the beans. They had talked for hours and Sam had taken him seriously even though Bucky had felt ridiculous about this whole situation, and before Bucky went back to the tower Sam had pointed out a few useful websites that would explain a few things to Bucky.

It was not like Bucky was confused or shocked about the fact that he was in love with a man but it felt forbidden to be in love with two people at the same time.

According to Sam it was called polyamory and not that unheard of. During his research Bucky also found out that there were a lot more orientations than just hetero-, bi- and homosexual and while it was interesting to read all about it, it also made his head spin with all the possibilities.

When he had found out that asexuality, with all the different kinds there were, was actually a thing, he had spent the rest of the day in his room, too afraid he would just blurt it out to anyone, that’s how happy he was that there was a name for it and he wasn’t, in fact, broken.

He had never mentioned to anyone that while he did in fact like flirting very much he never had the urge to actually sleep with someone, less alone ‘I would bang that’ being the first thought when he saw someone.

But apart from that it didn’t help much that he now knew that polyamory was a thing because just him wanting that wouldn’t be enough. It wouldn’t even be enough if Tony wanted it as well, because there had definitely been some flirting going on lately, but since Steve didn’t seem interested in the slightest, it was no use.
Bucky wouldn’t bring it up, not if it meant that it would probably damage the relationship Tony and Steve had, and so he continued to suffer in silence.

That was until Steve and Tony cornered him in the kitchen one afternoon.

Bucky always made sure to know when he was alone with them in the tower and today was such a day. Thor was out meeting with Jane, Banner had gotten a call from some girl named Betty and had left in a hurry and Natasha and Clint were out visiting Coulson and his new team.

Bucky had tried his absolute best to avoid his two remaining teammates but it looked like they had waited for him to finally come out and eat something. Steve was busy making pancakes while Tony was slightly slouched over the kitchen table and what looked like a cup of coffee but Bucky could tell that they had just waited for him to enter because their conversation stopped and their attention was suddenly focused on Bucky.

Bucky stopped dead in his tracks, wondering if fleeing now would be too suspicious, and when Steve and Tony smiled at him, he decided that yes, that would raise questions he wouldn’t be comfortable answering. So Bucky took a deep breath and made his way over to the refrigerator, always making sure to have them both in his vision so that they couldn’t surprise him, with anything physical at least.

Steve had given up on pretending making pancakes, pan shoved to the side so that the half done pancake wouldn’t burn, and he rested his hip against the counter, fully facing Bucky. When Bucky looked over to Tony he saw that he sat straighter, arms resting on the table, and also giving Bucky his full attention.

Bucky stopped before he could open the fridge and turned to them. “Okay. What?”, he asked them, crossing his arms in front of his chest in, he realized, a defensive gesture. No one said anything but Steve raised an eyebrow and Tony smirked at him. “What do you want?”, Bucky asked again and now Tony stood up.

“What makes you think we want something, Barnes?”, he asked but he was still smirking and that was dangerous enough. Bucky was very aware that this conversation could go downhill every second and he made ready to bolt.

“You’ve obviously been waiting for me. So spit it out so that we all can go back to our normal day.”

Tony nodded at that but he didn’t back off and he didn’t exactly give Bucky an answer. “True, but what makes you think we want something?”

The emphasis of those words made Bucky freeze with horror because they had found out, they knew and they were going to ask him to kindly fuck off and let them be and this was so bad, they were his friends first, he didn’t know how he could fuck up so badly, but before he got himself together Steve threw Tony a stern glance.

“Don’t tease him”, he reprimanded Tony before he turned to Bucky again. “We actually wanted to ask you something”, Steve admitted and his smile was warm and kind, not like the smirk Tony had worn only moments before.

It also didn’t seem like he would yell at Bucky and told him to stop being so creepy but maybe Bucky was imagining that and so he refused to relax just yet.

“It’s more like a proposition, really”, Tony added and when had he come around the table? Bucky took a step back only to walk into the fridge where he was now essentially cornered.

“We’ve noticed the way you watch us-…”, Steve said and this was it, wasn’t it, he was about to lose his two best friends, this couldn’t be happening, the day had started normal, it was not fair that it turned so horribly wrong now, and it actually took Bucky a second to filter the rest of Steve’s sentence through his panic. “…because we watch you.” And how did that make sense at all?

“You do what?”, he eventually weakly managed and Tony answered him. “We watch you. You’re sexy as hell, you know that?”

Bucky did in fact not know that but it didn’t make a difference. He did not understand what was happening here. “What are you saying?” he asked after a minute when no one had said another thing and he still wasn’t able to figure out what exactly was happening here.

“We’re saying that we want you to join us.”

Bucky shortly feared that maybe his ears were defective or that he was hallucinating because this couldn’t be what was happening, no way did he hear that one right, but going by the expectant faces still looking at him his ears were fine. “You want me to join you. In a threesome”, he flatly repeated and had a difficult time keeping his voice even.

“Yeah, of course that is our goal as well but…” Steve started but was cut off by a harsh “No”, from Bucky.

Steve and Tony seemed taken aback by the vehemence with which Bucky had uttered that short word and before they could say anything else Bucky rushed out a strangled “I can’t”, before he finally fled the kitchen.

He was panting hard when he arrived in his room and he needed to sit down because his knees were shaking and his hands as well and he didn’t know how this had gone so spectacularly wrong for him. It was like they had morphed his wish into a fucking nightmare because while he wanted them, badly, he wanted the relationship part and not the sex.

Of course he had thought about them having sex, it was his go to fantasy to get himself off, but he could never imagine himself in the mix, it just didn’t feel right.

A tiny part of his brain told him that he had just blown off the only chance he would ever get at those two but he still couldn’t see himself having sex with them. Sure, it would probably mean kisses and cuddles and sleeping together in the most literal sense afterwards but everything other than that made his stomach turn. He just didn’t want sex, not even with them, and his inability to suck it up and just do it despite that feeling most likely just ruined their friendship.

Bucky spent the rest of the day curled up in a corner of his room, refusing the no doubt concerned calls he got from Steve and Tony and only when it got dark outside did he come out of his position.

He realized that he maybe should explain his behaviour to them if he wanted to salvage their friendship and before he could talk himself out of that thought he got up and left his room. After Jarvis helpfully pointed him towards Steve’s suite and even opened the door for him, he hesitated again at their bedroom door, hand already raised to knock.

What if they didn’t want to talk to him now? What if they would prefer to pretend that this whole fiasco never happened?

Bucky was about to leave again, what had he been thinking coming here in the first place, but the door opened and Tony stood before him. Bucky dimly noticed that he was wearing nothing but sweatpants, hair ruffled and lips a shining red, before he realized with a start just how late it was and that he had obviously interrupted Steve and Tony.

Bucky felt himself flush at that, refusing to look past Tony into the room to see what state Steve was in, and he managed to turn around before Tony grabbed his arm.

“Steve, put on some pants”, he called into the room, but it looked like Steve had already done that because not a second later he joined them at the door.

“Bucky”, he breathed and Bucky refused to believe the note of relief he heard there.

Bucky wasn’t meeting their eyes, instead looking down at the floor, but he could feel them watching him and he straightened up, mentally and physically, before he said “I thought maybe I should explain, but I can leave again, you were obviously busy, I’ll just go now…”

He trailed off when Tony tightened his grip on Bucky’s arm while Steve stepped out of the way. “You can come in, you know?”, he said and Bucky didn’t even resist when Tony pulled him into their bedroom. Steve closed the door behind him and Bucky felt trapped all over again, especially since he noticed the disarray the bed was in.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt”, he said again and startled when Steve stroke his arm.

“You didn’t, Buck. What did you want to explain?”, he asked and Bucky took a step back, away from Tony and Steve, who seriously crowded him in now. They seemed to realize what they were doing and stepped back themselves, Steve sitting down on the bed and Tony standing next to him.

Bucky forced himself to look away from them, only half clothed and in the very near proximity of a bed, and instead focused on a point on the wall left to them. “Why I said no earlier”, he eventually said and Steve made a move to get up, only to be pushed back down by Tony.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Bucky. It’s okay. We took a guess and went with it. It’s okay if you don’t want us”, he said and raised a questioning eyebrow when Bucky huffed a laugh at that.

“That’s not the problem. I want you. I just don’t want…”, he trailed off, unsure how to say it. Tony and Steve gave him time, obviously realizing that he had some problems articulating himself and not wanting to pressure him and in the end Bucky decided to just get it out as plainly and simple as he could. “I’m asexual.”

“Okay”, Tony nodded but Steve just looked confused. Tony seemed to sense that Steve wasn’t familiar with that word because he turned around to him and explained.

“It means he doesn’t experience sexual attraction. He doesn’t walk into a room and wants nothing more than to jump me, not like you sometimes do”, he said with a little wink to Steve who flushed slightly.

“There is a huge spectrum, actually, all kinds of orientations like gay or bi, and it’s like that with asexuality. For me, it means I don’t want sex”, Bucky explained further because that was actually the part that made it difficult for him.

“But Jarvis said you watched…”, Tony started and trailed off when Steve nudged him to get him to stop talking.

“You know you don’t have to listen to him, right?”, Steve asked Bucky with a small smile, while Tony massaged the spot Steve had just poked him.

“I know. But he’s right. I do watch porn. And I do get off on it”, that was actually a lot harder to say than he had thought, “but I just don’t want sex with anybody. I can appreciate other people having it though.”

“You mean you can appreciate us having sex”, Tony said with a little eyebrow waggle and Steve groaned but Bucky didn’t deny it.

“Shut up”, Steve told Tony and Tony leered at him before he turned serious again. “But you said you did want us”, he said and made it sound like a question.

Now this was the really difficult part. Bucky was still convinced that this would seriously damage their friendship because proposing some casual sex and admitting to be in love were two very different things. Still, he had made it this far, and he would not stop now.

“I’m in love with you. Both of you. I want in on that, in on your relationship, and I know it’s stupid and I’m sorry for that and I will leave now.”

Bucky turned around to leave for what felt like the dozenth time now but before he could reach the door Tony snapped “Jarvis, shut the door.” Bucky heard the telltale click of the lock snapping shut and he slowly turned around. Steve had gotten up from the bed and had made a few steps towards him, hands outstretched and Bucky really hoped he wouldn’t touch him. He was not sure he could stand that now.

“You think we only asked you to join us for sex”, Steve stated and Bucky shrugged.

“That’s what you said, didn’t you?”

“No. No!”, Tony said loudly and moved next to Steve. “We told you we want you.”

“Yeah, for sex”, Bucky answered but he was unsure about that now.

“We meant for everything”, Steve explained. “I was about to tell you that but you left. We want you in this relationship. As our boyfriend. Not just for sex.”

Bucky swayed a bit because that was all he ever wanted and he made an aborted move to grab for Steve or Tony or anything at all that could stabilize him. Tony seemed to understand what he wanted and quickly moved towards him, grabbing his hands and pulling him in. Bucky went willingly but only truly relaxed when he felt Steve’s hands came up around him as well.

They stayed like that for some moments before Bucky realized that his forehead was rested on a very naked chest and he began to pull away. Steve and Tony only reluctantly let go of him and didn’t let him pull away all the way, keeping him close and sheltered.

“I interrupted you”, he managed and couldn’t remove his eyes from Tony’s scars on his chest. “I will leave and we can talk about that tomorrow if you’d still like that then.” Bucky was still half convinced that this would turn out as a dream and that they wouldn’t want him anymore when they had thought about it for a bit.

They still didn’t release him though and he could practically feel them exchanging a glance over his head and then Steve tightened his arms around Bucky. “Or you could stay?”, he asked, obviously unsure about that.

Bucky frowned and finally looked up to meet two carefully excited pairs of eyes. “What?”, he asked and Tony grinned again, obviously catching up faster to Steve’s meaning than he did.

“If it’s too much right now, that is totally fine and we can all go to bed together to sleep but…you could also stay?”

“Stay for…”, Bucky started and trailed off, unsure of where this was going.

“Us having sex”, Steve finished his sentence for him.

“Steve and me having sex”, Tony quickly clarified when Bucky stayed silent for too long. Bucky felt like his head would explode with the possibilities that opened themselves up and he was glad they still clung to him. He needed to be grounded.

“We should probably talk about what you like and what not and what you are comfortable with but if this is something you would want, and mind you I did notice you didn’t deny that you appreciate the thought of us having sex, we could do that right now maybe?”, Tony asked and Bucky let out a strangled sound that sounded a lot like a whimper.

Bucky couldn’t think properly but neither Steve nor Tony made a move to say something else and so finally Bucky felt the need to speak again. “Right now”, he repeated just to get some more time to think this over and Steve and Tony nodded enthusiastically.

“You’d just have to tell us what is a no-go for you and we could try”, Steve said and he looked so hopeful that Bucky leaned in to brush a kiss to his cheek because he could and to gather some strength.

“I will not, ehm, touch your dicks”, Bucky then said and Steve squeezed him encouragingly.

“But what about my beautiful, perky little ass”, Tony asked him and Bucky realized that he was trying to make it easier on him.

“Your ass is probably going to be fine”, Bucky said with a small smile before he got serious again. “I’ll keep my clothes on”, he continued and was met with a firm nod by Steve. “I will get hard but you will not do anything about it”, Bucky went on and Tony didn’t seem to like that but he still nodded.

“How will you get off then?”, he asked and Bucky shrugged.

“I’ll probably go to the bathroom later.”

“So we’re not even allowed to watch?”, Tony asked and sounded unhappy about that and maybe this was the point where they realized that this was a stupid idea and wouldn’t work for them.

“I can still leave, if that is what you want”, Bucky mumbled but Steve pulled him against his chest.

“What Tony meant to say is that we are happy with whatever makes you feel the most comfortable.”

Bucky couldn’t help but smile at that and carefully wrapped his arm around Steve’s back, only seeing the unhappy frown on Tony’s face out of the corner of his eyes. He extended a hand towards him to pull him closer and Tony went very willingly.

“I don’t like…I’d have to do it on my own”, Bucky eventually said and felt Steve nod.

“Whatever makes you comfortable”, Steve repeated and Bucky felt himself truly relax now. It seemed like this wouldn’t be as much of a problem as he thought.

“How do you usually…”, Bucky started to ask but trailed off, too self-conscious to ask about the way Steve and Tony have sex. Luckily Tony seemed to understand his predicament. He tugged at Bucky’s arm until he looked up at Tony, face still lying against Steve’s chest.

“You wanna know how we wanted do this?”, he playfully asked but Bucky could tell that he was still trying to make it easier on him by lightening the mood. Bucky tried to bury himself further into Steve’s chest but he nodded at Tony nonetheless. Steve chuckled, Bucky could feel it against his cheek, but it was Tony who spoke again.

“Today I was gonna blow him first, getting him off to take the edge off, he can get it up again anyway. Then there was supposed to be a lot of making out until he is hard again, which takes less time than you would think, and then I wanted him to fuck me.”

Bucky had to repress a groan at that and Steve squeezed him. “You think this is something you could work with?”, he asked Bucky who had a hard time forming coherent thoughts.

“Probably”, Bucky breathed and Tony reached for him, no doubt to pull him in for a kiss, but Bucky stopped him with a hand. “I’m not so sure about French kissing”, he haltingly admitted. “There’s a very real possibility that I will ask you to stop it.”

Tony stopped his movement but smiled reassuringly at him. “We don’t have to do it at all, if you don’t want to”, he said but Bucky shook his head.

“I don’t have much experience with that. Maybe I need some practice”, Bucky said teasingly and Tony smiled at him.

“That I can do”, he answered and finally pulled Bucky in. He started with kisses to Bucky’s cheek, slowly making his way towards his mouth, and when their lips finally met Bucky silently sighed. Tony used that opening to lick into his mouth and the feeling was strange but not unpleasant. Bucky tried to mimic Tony’s movement and going by the way Tony groaned when they parted he probably got it right.

Tony was kissing his cheek again when Steve pulled his face around demanding a kiss of his own and Bucky felt lightheaded. This was all he ever imagined and he didn’t know what to do with himself now that he had it.

While he and Steve were kissing, Tony nosed at his neck, playfully biting it and then soothing the place with kisses and Bucky melted against Steve. When they parted Steve’s voice was deep when he said “Maybe we should move this to the bed now.”

Bucky could feel Steve’s erection against his thigh, the sweatpants he was wearing didn’t hide his stiff cock, and Bucky couldn’t help but rub his thigh against it once, just to see how it would feel. The response he got was beautiful; Steve groaned at the contact and Tony’s hands tightened on his hips.

“Bed, now”, Tony panted and Steve walked them backwards until they managed to fall on the bed gracelessly.

Bucky could tell that Steve wanted to ask again how he would want to do this but Bucky kissed him silent while he stripped him of his pants, careful to only slide his hands over his legs and not stray too close to his cock. He wasn’t kidding when he said that he wouldn’t touch them. Tony made an appreciative sound behind him and Bucky felt the need to turn around to do the same to Tony.

When they were both naked Bucky needed a moment to take this all in, it was even better than he ever thought it would be, and then he moved towards the headboard of the bed. He rearranged the pillows, so that they would prop him up when he sat again it and when he settled against them he opened his legs, motioning for Steve to come to him.

Steve crawled up the bed, yelping when Tony lightly hit his ass, but never stopping his movements. When he had reached Bucky, both of Steve’s hands next to his hip and his rapidly growing erection, Bucky pulled him in for a kiss before he told him to turn around. He gently settled Steve in the v of his legs, his back to Bucky’s chest, and then looked up at Tony.

“Will this work?”, Bucky asked him and Tony seemed to need a second before he could answer.

“This will work beautifully”, he eventually said and his voice seemed a bit shaken. He crawled up to them as well, first kissing Steve then moving on to Bucky before he made his way down Steve’s body.

Steve’s breathing got rapidly faster, and Bucky kissed the side of his face to help him relax. Bucky had his hands all over Steve’s pecs and sides while Tony was still kissing his way down. When Tony finally swallowed him down Steve’s breath hitched and Bucky soothingly stroke his sides and when Steve finally relaxed again he started to scrape his nails over Steve’s sides while simultaneously kissing Steve’s temple, cheek, neck; whatever he could get, really.

Tony had one hand around Steve’s cock, working the last part he couldn’t fit in his mouth, but his other hand was stroking up and down Bucky’s leg. Bucky was painfully stiff now, and it didn’t help that Steve was squirming around in his lap, but Bucky didn’t have the brain capacity to think about his own release. He was too busy watching one of his fantasies coming true to worry about that.

It felt like no time at all had passed when Steve tensed and came into Tony’s mouth, who swallowed it all down. Steve fell boneless against Bucky who kept up his soothing ministrations but watched Tony kiss his way back up to Steve until he could kiss him again.

They made out for a short time and then Tony turned his head to Bucky, silently asking if a kiss now would be okay and Bucky’s heart swelled with the consideration Tony was showing him. He leaned forward over Steve’s shoulder to meet Tony halfway and while he had always wondered what come tasted like he could barely find a trace of it left in Tony’s mouth.

He smiled when Tony pulled away from him and when Tony said “Steve’s never come so quickly”, he couldn’t help but laugh. There had still been some trace of doubt left, that maybe they wouldn’t like this, but it vanished now. It seemed like this was exactly what they wanted to be doing.

They kept the alternating kissing and stroking hands up until Steve squirmed again and when Bucky looked down he saw that he was already fully hard again.

“Does this always go like this?”, Bucky asked Tony who nodded. “We tried to make him last longer but Steve is really not one for waiting”, Tony explained.

“Yeah, Steve has never been one for patience”, Bucky agreed and Steve let out a small “Hey”, as protest. Bucky pressed his nose into Steve’s temple. “What? It’s true and you know it”, he said into his cheek and Steve offered up more of his face.

“Not to interrupt this really adorable scene”, Tony eventually interrupted them, “but I would really like to have a dick in me now.”

When Bucky looked at him again he saw that Tony already had two fingers in his ass, working himself open on them and he suppressed a groan. Steve had no such inhibitions and fully moaned when his cock gave an interested twitch. He got up on his knees, reaching for Tony and replacing his fingers with his own when Tony met him readily.

After a few minutes where Bucky decided to just watch for now, Steve gave an approving nod. “He’s ready,” he said over his shoulder to Bucky who couldn’t do much more than nod at that.

Steve removed his fingers from Tony’s ass and turned back around to Bucky to pull him down on the mattress. “What are you doing?”, Bucky asked, apprehension creeping back in, wary of what Steve wanted from him, but Steve stroke his side and gently kissed a trail from his neck up to his mouth.

“Just rearranging you for better access”, Steve mumbled against his lips before he kissed him finally on the lips. Bucky was so lost in that kiss that he didn’t realize that Steve had pulled Tony towards them and when they separated he pushed him down between them.

Steve turned Tony around so that he faced Bucky and was lying on his side while Steve settled down behind him. Bucky finally got with the program and turned on his side to face both Steve and Tony.

Tony demanded a kiss again, groaning against Bucky when Steve’s hand went to his ass again but when Steve slowly entered him he hissed against Bucky’s mouth and clutched his shoulder.

Bucky moved a hand from Tony’s ass up over his side, occasionally raking his nails over Steve’s side and stomach when he was close enough to reach. Bucky kept his hips carefully angled away from Tony and when Steve’s hand ventured too close to his ass and cock he gently pulled it up again and Steve went without hesitation. It never happened again after that and Bucky was pathetically grateful that they both seemed to accept his boundaries.

Steve kept up a slow steady rhythm for some time before his hips started to snap up more forcefully and Tony met his every move, seemingly desperate for a harder pace. Bucky kept peppering little kisses all over Tony’s face, since he seemed too out of it to fully reciprocate them and when Steve pulled his head over to him Bucky went more than willingly to be kissed slowly by him despise his still rapid pace with which he fucked Tony.

Tony seemed to be realizing what they were doing because he groaned once and then came untouched, climaxing all over himself and the bed. It didn’t take long for Steve to follow him over the edge and afterwards both lay still, panting but obviously blissed out.

Bucky resumed his stroking which got a weak smile out of Tony who nuzzled closer to Bucky to hide his face into his neck. He hissed again when Steve pulled out and then tried to move closer to Bucky. Bucky stopped him with a gentle hand on his hip.

“You’re gross”, Bucky managed with a little laugh and Tony huffed, obviously displeased.

“He’s right, you know”, Steve said and made a move to get up, probably to go to the bathroom and get a wash cloth. Bucky pushed him back down into the mattress and got up himself. He could totally do that for his two … lovers? Boyfriends? Partners? He still wasn’t sure what to call them but he really felt like he belonged here now, no matter what he would call them.

When he entered the bathroom he realized that he was still painfully hard and he hastily shoved a hand down his trousers to get himself off. It didn’t take long at all, just a few strokes, before he came into his hand and pants. Which was actually a bit gross and now Bucky also realized that he was still wearing his jeans and shirt and that he had no pajamas here. He wondered if he would be able to comfortably sleep in that and now that he was alone and the excitement wore off he began to panic again.

Before it got too bad he quickly wet a wash cloth and then returned to Steve and Tony who were making out lazily on the bed. When Bucky entered the bedroom he faltered in his steps, enjoying the show, but it seemed like Steve misunderstood his hesitation as a moment of doubt because he pushed himself up on one elbow and made grabby hands at Bucky.

Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle at that and then made his way over to the bed. He carefully cleaned Steve and Tony up and then brought the wash cloth back to the bathroom. When he came back, Steve had already changed the sheet Tony had climaxed on while Tony was pulling out pajama pants and a shirt and threw them at Bucky.

“It’s time to get comfortable”, he said and turned around when Bucky started to remove his shirt. Steve did the same and while it made Bucky feel warm all over he felt the need to clarify.

“There’s no need to turn around when I’m shirtless. We’ll have to talk about the touching but looking is fine.” Steve was about to turn around when Bucky continued. “No watching when I change my pants though”, he continued and Steve quickly turned back around.

When Bucky was done he sat down back on the bed, unsure how to proceed now. In a sense this was now more intimate than the sex they just had and Bucky felt the nerves creep back in. Tony was already sliding between the sheets, obviously still blissed out, unaware of Bucky’s problem but Steve reached out to pull Bucky down between them.

Tony immediately slung his arms around Bucky’s middle, tucking his face against his neck. Bucky wormed an arm under Tony’s neck to pull him closer when Steve moved in behind him, spooning against him. Bucky grabbed for Steve’s arm to pull it around himself and over Tony so that they were essentially all wrapped up in each other.

Steve pressed a kiss onto Bucky’s spine and asked “Comfortable?” Bucky sighed and pressed himself closer to Steve and then breathed “Perfect.”

“Good”, Tony mumbled into his neck right before he fell asleep. It didn’t take long for Steve’s breath to even out as well but Bucky fought sleep for a bit longer just so that he could bask in the warmth that was engulfing him from all sides.

Maybe this wouldn’t turn out to be a problem at all. Maybe wanting unattainable things was actually the best thing that ever happened to Bucky.