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Jade was almost 100% certain there wouldn't be a next time. But she was actually just kidding. If she were being, say, reasonable, she would know that 100% actually mean something like mere 50-50. Chaos. Chance.

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG]

TC: HeY JaDe, I'Ve gOt A MoThErFuCkInG CuRiOsItY
GG: oh god
GG: is this what i think its about......
TC: WeLl I dOn'T kNoW, aRe YoU aLsO mOtHeRfUcKiNg iNtErEsTeD In tHaT WhOlE tRoLl SeX DeAl (o:
TC: hOnK
GG: ugh
GG: i
GG: um
GG: UGH, just come over......
TC: YoU GoT It, HuMaN GiRl (o:

terminallyCapricious [TC] has stopped trolling gardenGnostic [GG]

Jade was left to endure long, flustered seconds that passed slowly, until the light on her teleporter turned on. She swallowed thickly, and with a bright flash and muffled sound, she smoothed her skirt and opened the door.

Gamzee was looking horribly chipper as ever, face paint accentuating his half-lidded gaze and sharp teeth. Lazy, lazy, lazy -- he perpetually looked as if he had just woken up from a long nap, rumpled clothes and bed head and sleepy eyes and all. The Witch of Space was suddenly regretting her acceptance a little; her curiousity was surely as bad as his, but was it worth it if she ended up having awkward sex equivalent to love-making ennui?

She frowned a little, and didn't realize it.

"Woah, lady, what's got your motherfuckin' smile upside down? That shit ain't cool..."

With surprising unabashedness, Gamzee reached out and cupped her chin, leaning in far too closely. His eyes squinted as he observed her.

Jade stammered, eyes wide, "I-I, uh, well--!"

"Let's get down to motherfucking business then, yeah?"

This was all happening so fast. Any charming idea of romance or saccharine intimacy was quickly going out the window as Gamzee pulled away his shirt (his skin was still smooth and grey like the sky when rain was coming soon) and her eyebrows perked at the anatomical differences -- he had no nipples nor belly button. Jade barely had a moment to notice this before he started taking off his pants for a second time--

"Wait!" She blurted out, and he did wait, hands holding the sides of his pants firmly. He seemed confused.


"Uh." Jade fidgeted and frowned and her brow furrowed and she had no idea what words to use. She wanted to prevent this from being bad if at all possible, because she didn't have it in her to turn him down now, nor did her racing heart and feeling between her thighs.

Gamzee was surprisingly patient and let her find the right words.

"I... don't think we should move so quickly, you know?"

The troll lit up, and for the first time, Jade saw a gleam in his eyes she had never recognized.

"Oh man, my human sister, I was not motherfuckin' intending on it," he grinned. "I assure you."

Jade suddenly felt her skin prickling; she had a heightened awareness of his warm breath, the sureness and slowness in which he moved. His eyes were moving across her anatomy and the seconds were long as they fixated on her mouth.

Gamzee leaned in closer; he was already so near to her, but the space between his lips and hers was endless, and just as she blinked, he was kissing her, his mouth full on hers. It was incredibly passionate, but simple, and Jade stopped breathing. His lips weren’t chapped, but soft, vaguely warm, pressing hard on hers. He was taking his time, feeling her out -- Gamzee was a hazy mess on emotions, he functioned much more aptly about physical things. Jade was lost in the kiss, but he knew she wasn’t quite gone yet.

“You need t'relax,” he prompted dryly, barely breaking away from her mouth enough to form the words. His presence remained right against her, distracting her quite nicely from any sort of doubt. Right now, all Jade could process was that kiss and its burning aftertaste. His hands were tangling in hers, carefully controlling her movements, and he used his weight to lean her backwards. She took several steps, light and stumbling, before her back pressed up suddenly against the wall.

He seemed to really like that. She felt immediately self conscious, because he had drawn back, still tenderly holding her hands against the wall, pinning her there effectively with his pronounced hipbones and thighs right on her own (when had that happened?), and above all, those bright, bright eyes, drinking in her frame so very slowly. The paleness of her skin was attractive, he decided; it was simply as if she was covered in the same paint he adorned. He remembered very vividly the curve of her breasts, the strange dip of her navel that he was unfamiliar with, and that too-short moment where his fingers were buried against her soft hair that curled above her most intimate place.

Gamzee caught her shiver, and grinned widely. Oh, how he was anxious to make her unwind, and how he most certainly would... His hands, boney and sure, groped at her hips and he kissed her viciously again. She was very responsive, unwillingly letting a groan pass her lips as his tongue caressed hers, searching her mouth. There was nothing in the world like this, nothing like the feeling of his peculiar, pointed fangs prodding against her own misshapen teeth, nothing like the intense undertones of possession in his grip on her. The clown boy slowly began grinding his hips right into that perfect place in her lower belly, and Jade’s knees gave in just a little.

He caught her, held her, of course -- he deepened the kiss and their teeth clacked and his breath caught. Jade was losing herself, slowly forgetting her surroundings, spare the boy who took them over. There was such a strong scent of pie, a flavour she couldn’t place, but it was heady and bittersweet. His skin was incredibly cool to the touch, but his mouth, his luscious mouth, was so hot...

When Gamzee broke away, Jade did not bother fixing her glasses, and when his hand slipped into her shirt and discarded it, she didn’t make a single protest.

“Are you enjoying this, ma'am?” His voice dripped with honey and he knew the answer already. Jade just made a soft sound of consent and nodded quickly, tentatively touched his shoulders; they were rigid and led to lanky arms, just like the rest of him.

Very suddenly, his hand was around her throat, firm but not inhibiting her breathing, and he hissed with a smile, “I asked you a motherfucking question.”

Jade yelped a “Yes!” quickly and he softened instantly.


Jade felt some sort of crazy blush overcoming her and swallowed thickly; the taste of his saliva rolled down her throat and there was a sharp pang somewhere between her heart and her thighs that made her feel uncomfortably... wet. She wriggled just a little, an attempt to make more friction, and a squeaky, crooked laugh made her start a little.

Gamzee was really finding her quite amusing. It was a different sort of amusing, though; it wasn’t really funny like a good joke, no, no, no, in fact, it seemed like his typical hazy humour had a sharper tinge to it than usual. He couldn’t ever remember feeling this way, so vaguely aware and bright. Gamzee rolled his head about his neck in a lazy stretch, and just because he felt like it, kissed her again. White paint tinged the tip of her nose.

“Now then, Misses Harley...” he drawled, craning down to her eye level. Her glasses were sitting diagonally on her nose and her cheeks were full of warmth and he got a real sick pleasure out of that, right down to how her uneven breaths came out from her slightly parted lips. His mouth brushed against her jaw, dragged slowly to her ear (he bit deftly and licked only a little), kissed down the line of her neck...

“...Where d’you like being touched?” The words were whispered across her collarbone and they burned. He nipped, and his hands slowly released her hips and moved to her small, soft breasts, cupped in a plain white bra.

Jade fumbled for words. Her vocabulary had abandoned her, and she was distracted by the sensation betwixt her thighs. Gamzee, Gamzee, Gamzee -- maybe half an hour ago she had been dreading this, but half an hour ago she wasn’t being touched like this. She managed to answer him before he snapped again, “Mmhn, um, m-my, b-between my...”

“Between yourrr...?”

A squeak escaped her as his fingers pinched her nipple between the fabric of her bra, and half a moment later, he was sliding the straps down her shoulders and pushing the front of it over her breasts. They squished daintily underneath it, looking quite pert, and Jade's breathing intensified tenfold.

“Between your baby-feeders?”

He left a sweet kiss in the center of her chest, to her surprise, and she worried for just a moment that he’d feel, hear her heart beating wildly, only several inches away. The Capricorn rested his chin on her sternum, looking up at her languidly, daring her to correct him.

Jade mumbled, “I, I meant my... legs...” But there was fine too. But really, you could use that mouth anywhere you wanted and I'd be fine with it. I want you to suck and bite and lick me right where you are and do whatever you like.

That’s what Jade Harley wanted to say, at least.

Gamzee blinked slowly, and his mouth melted into a grin. All of those sharp teeth made her skin prickle up her back.

It was almost as if he knew. A thin hand wrapped around her back, just as the other one started kneading and massaging her breast, and cold fingertips started at the base of her neck and crept lightly down her spine. Jade fidgeted and moaned just a little, stuck somewhere between tingles and pleasure, and just when she blinked, she felt a hot mouth wrap around her nipple and she arched right into it.

Gamzee Makara was really just good with his mouth. He had a tongue that had learned to lap up pies, teeth that sunk into delicious crust, lips meant to keep the crumbles in. He was quite aware of her hands rushing to his hair and how they laced into it both with urgency and care as to not hurt him (he snickered at that), and how her heart was racing as he gently bit on the sensitive tip and very... gently... tugged.

He was pleased to find that human anatomy was pretty similar to how trolls worked. The human girl was making all the right sounds as he sucked on her pert nipple, lightly dragging his nails down her back, gripping her jutted hip tightly to keep her still. At some point, he had slid to his knees, and a moment later was giving her other breast plenty of loving attention.

“Y’sure act the same as a troll,” he commented, dragging the full of his tongue over her swollen breast, and Jade whimpered in response. “And everything seems to fuckin’ work the same way...”

But just as Gamzee's fingers began to tug at her skirt which hung so promiscuously about her hips, Jade slipped between his hands, dropping to the floor in front of him. Her face was still flushed, her eyes glazed, but she seemed less vulnerable than before.

Gamzee just smiled, because that was what he was best at. The human girl wanted to play? That was just fine with him, and--

In a fluid motion, Jade crawled onto his lap and began running her hands over his skin. He was cold, surprisingly cold, and likewise, the clown boy couldn't repress the shiver that shot through him at her unfamiliarly warm touch. Her fingers trailed along his shoulders, down his long arms, and as she leaned against him, he took the opportunity to completely remove her bra with a quick movement of a hand.

Jade was all up on him, her face pressed to the crook of his neck as she curiously, sensually searched him out. Her palms pressed against his chest -- Gamzee was all lankiness, only hinting at muscles. But he was so smooth... Jade tried to level her breathing, but it was nearly impossible; his lips were right beside her ear, and she could feel his own breaths and their ragged pace.

“Fuckin’ slow," he growled into her ear, smiling crookedly. She blushed with shivers, pulling back and adjusting her glasses. Gamzee watched her large, clover eyes slowly look him up and down, he sitting cross-legged and looking utterly brumous. For just a moment, he felt a tad self-conscious, but the way she slowly bit her lip made him feel much better.

“You’re... you're really handsome, y-you know,” she spoke in a hushed voice, though sure of herself, maybe possibly intentionally rolling her hips against his once.

He responded with a sharp, upwards buck, his bulge bumping her in just the right spot to make her breath catch in an unmistakable way.

“Really.” His voice dripped, and she could see all of his teeth as he slowly crawled on top of her, making her sink backwards to the floor.

“Issat so...”


“And what is it your pretty eyes enjoy so much?”

“I... I like your skin." Jade swallowed thickly, trying not to think too much about her words, lest she paralyzed herself. "And... and how tall, but little you are...” Jade chewed on her bottom lip, eyes looking up at his hesitantly from under her lashes with a coy smile. "It makes you not so intimidating."

Gamzee casually slid a hand up her thigh, squeezing gently as he stared down at her. Those last words had put a strange expression on his face; he didn't want her to be scared of him, of course, he wanted this to be a goddamn fun time, a charming barter of physical activity between human and troll, and matron below if he knew why that last sentence made his blood boil.


The very note his voice hit was molten and so quiet Jade almost missed it. But she didn't. In fact, for a moment her throat felt deeply dry and Gamzee's eyes were progressing from mirthful to dark and consuming very quickly. Jade stilled, unable to will herself to move, and Gamzee took his time in drawing out the seconds where he moved in on his newfound prey.

"Jade Harley," he started, and his tongue ran over his canines, his incisors, before retreating back into his mouth with a smack. His hand reached out slowly, and Jade held her breath until his fingers were in her hair, and then suddenly, fisted against her scalp. He yanked sharply, forcing her to her tiptoes, and she yelped, but he silenced her with a hard, rough kiss and an imposing tongue. When he drew away, he licked up the saliva that strung them to gether, and from the back of his throat, there was soft, sinful laughter.

"I'm going to make you eat up those words, real motherfuckin' slowly." It was a promise.

Fingers snagging the low curve of her back, Jade made a muffled noise of nerves and pleasure, and he ruined her balance, only to drape her across the ground. His mouth made quick work, purring wicked things as his pearl and cream teeth proceeded down the line of her neck.

"I'm going to make you motherfuckin' beg, y'know." He whispers it like it's a secret. Jade made a strangled sound in response, her body jerking up into his touch without restraint, and when her fingers tried to touch his cheek, his unruly mane, to urge him on, he snarled and snatched up her wrists, planting them down under a careful knee as he crawled up and over her. Jade wasn't able to think clearly at all anymore, not with the viciously captivating effect his words and tone made on her, and she didn't know what to say, didn't know if this was bad (she didn't think so), she didn't quite comprehend anything except the obnoxious pounding of her heart against her ribcage and the feeling of heat shooting between her thighs.

Gamzee took a deep breath through his nose, and his eyes fluttered shut and he sighed. His expression melted into a cruel grin.

"I know that motherfuckin' aroma," he half-sang, and as he did, one hand caressed her jawline, and the other moved deliberately down her side.

And he leaned in close again, so close, that she tasted his mouth just against hers, but more distracting were his tawny, glinting eyes and the words he spoke.

"You're dripping," he hissed, grinning broadly. "You're soaking through your motherfuckin' undies. You're all slick and warm and all motherfuckin' yearning for some attention. Not nobody, not no motherfuckin' how, can fool my--" And he taps the tip of her nose. "--nose."

Jade released a breath she didn't know she was holding, and realized that she was trembling. Her tingling skin felt like a hundred thousand degrees of oversensitive to her, and it dawned on her that his other hand had drifted to her pelvis, and that nothing in the world mattered more than satisfying that coiled heat in her belly.

"Gamzee," she gasped. "P-please.."


A hand snaps to her scalp and pulls hard, and it hurt her but it was a good, sharp pain that both provided relief and increased her need.

"You think you can motherfuckin' get away with telling me I'm not scary?"

Jade tried to shake her head and she wanted to kiss him so badly but he snickered at her, and her ears felt hot as embarrassment flooded her.

"Goddaaaamn it, Jade, look how fuckin' perky you just got. That's kind of fuckin' cute. D'you humans all enjoy being tormented?"

Evidently, Jade's nipples had swollen and turned a dark pink, and Gamzee earnestly craned down to swirl his tongue around one, sucking, sinking his teeth in, tugging, laughing into her skin when she jolted and whimpered. It was just enough time to allow his hand to sneak down her skirt and unintentionally submerge themselves in hot, endless juices.

He couldn't help it, and a low sound came from the pit of his chest, and his eyes almost rolled into his head as he whined "Fuck." But he found his composure quickly and contented himself with exploring her newfound nether-regions.

"It's so soft," he crooned, and Jade went a cool scarlet, trying to look anywhere but at him, making all sorts of nonsensical sounds and mumbles of pleasure, and he loved it. He loved the strange way the skin gave freely to his fingertips, loved how it all folded and creased and resisted underneath it all where the bone lay. And with convenience, he noticed, a particular clump of tender flesh made the prettiest sound come out of Jade Harley's mouth.

"Oh," she blurted. "God. I, I-I--!"

She was still trying so hard to avoid his tantalizing and delicious stare, but Gamzee had thought ahead, and used his hold on her hair to redirect her head to be staring straight at him.

"Didn't you tell me I was pretty?" He feigned hurt, and Jade sputtered, desperate to not offend her sexual saviour, "Y-you are! You're... ahm..."


The words hovered on the edge of her tongue on the very tip, desperate to leave her, and still, Gamzee's fingers swirled around her entrance with promise.

"If you tell me," he coaxed. "I'll put one of these in you." And he wriggled all five of his fingers against her thighs.

And Jade exclaimed, "Y-you're b-beautiful!"

For a moment, Gamzee thought maybe he'd pushed her too far, because she had crammed her eyes shut and he would admit that he had never, never, never, never in all his sweeps seen anyone look so mortified, but she was sincere, and he was happy, and he hummed, and thanked her by sliding in his pinky finger.

And Jade flushed with a mixture of anger and embarrassment. Hands twisting from under his knee, still, she cried out, "Th-that's unfair! That's s-so unfair! Wh-why--?"

"Why what? I didn't give no specifics, little girl. You best keep that mouth shut, or else I'll have to motherfuckin' preoccupy it with somethin'."

Obviously, he expected his threat to go over well, and he would be able to continue having his fun. But he had underestimated the dizzied human girl; Jade's frustration gave her pluck, and she finally demanded, "M-more, please, I-I just, need... more. N-no more teasing, I... I'm going nuts over here! Y-you can't just wind somebody u-up like this!"

The words washed over Gamzee, sinking in, settling, until a wide, half-crazed smile spread over his features.

"All right," he said slowly. "No more playing with the human." Pause.

"...Let's get down to motherfuckin' business then, yeah?"

Jade wondered what she had just gotten herself in to at his repeated promise, but with a sudden tearing sound of fabric and fumble of grey arms, she found her skirt torn in half, discarded in tatters beside her, and Gamzee's hands prying her panties off of her. They only managed to get off one leg, but it was enough to give him good access, and with a flick of his fingers and a twist of his legs, she was planted securely in his lap with his cum-covered fingers in her mouth. She was tasting herself, a flowery and sweet and husky flavor that made a long mewl come from her throat and her eyes slide closed, until she glanced down and saw the so-called bone bulge.

"Told you I'd give you somethin' to put in your fuckin' trap," he murmured with a smirk, one arm locked around her waist to hold her up and keep her hand in her mouth, the other clutching onto his cock before he guided it in. Jade tried to survey it as quickly as she could; there were some definitely unfamiliar ridges and bumps, and it was a deep plum at the top, and it retained the shade faintly all the way down. It looked impossibly firm and thick and then the tip was pressing up against her slippery-hot opening.

Jade bit softly on his fingers, desperate and needy and nervous.

"Aw, cutie-pie, don't look so motherfuckin' frightful. Cross my stars, I'll take real good care of you."

His smile was light and teasing, and his eyes still held something dangerous, but his kiss on her cheek was sweet and his tone was genuine. Jade swallowed up more of her own juices, and then the swollen tip was in her, and slowly, more slowly than anything in her life, the shaft slid in, inch by inch, filling her and stretching her in a luxurious, way, until she was shaking and gasping for breath and his head dropped onto her bare shoulder.

"Motherfuck," he groaned, voice strangled and raw. "That's different."

Jade barely managed to get the words out, but with a mouth full of fingers, she asked , "Wh-whbat ish?"

Gamzee swore again, under his breath, and tilted back, carefully lifting Jade up from him and pulling himself out against achingly slow, before repeating. His gaze was glassy and vague and his paint smeared all over his face as he said, "Troll girls got... s-some kind of... slime-holder up in the back."

He removed his fingers, and Jade breathed out, "Oh."

"...Yours just must be m-missin'."

"O-oh. O-OH!"

Her exclamation was not from understanding, but instead from Gamzee's unbidden buck, and Jade thanked all the heavens that she had been so fucking turned on before this began, because her slickness and desire had made her cunt only slightly uncomfortable as it took his length. But he was gathering a rhythm and a desperation fairly quickly, and she was fine with that -- more than fine. Gamzee's arms curled around her, holding hers against her sides, and his lips parted against her neck, letting her feel his ragged breathing and his teeth grating against her pinkened, sweaty skin.


His cock was soaked with Jade's nectar, and it dripped down his shaft in thick lines and speckled over her thighs and his groin as he bounced her on his lap. Jade's voice smattered the air with senseless words and whimpering begs of, "M-m-MORE, more, Gamzee, p-p-pleeaase, m-more!" and "Th-there there there there oh god oh no d-d-don't st-stop" and "Harder, harder, please, please,"

He liked that the best, he thought hazily, when her voice cracked and his name became too many syllables.

Before long, Jade's hips were learning the tempo and she was doing her best to push herself back down on top of him, cramming him in deeper and deeper. Her breasts rubbed against his chest, and the speed picked up with the desperation, and with increasing urgency, Jade found her hand groping for her pussy, trying to find something, find-- "A-AH..!" --and her fingers rubbed and kneaded and pressed. The reaction was nearly instantaneous -- her inner walls, buckled, clenched, and Gamzee nearly spat, and she saw his eyes go wide, wider, and his lips part and his tongue nearly loll out of his mouth as he gasped for her name.

And the spiraling, twisting feeling that was creeping up like a taut line was so fucking close to snapping on her, but she was scared, and bit her lip, sucking--

"J-Jade," Gamzee choked. "L-let go. Fuckin' let go. The m-m-m-mother... haa... fu-fuck are you hangin' o-on for, just... just...!"

It built, until finally, every sensation on her body -- the bittersweet scent of him, the fullness of having him inside of her, the low growls and purrs that dripped from his throat, the utterly heart-stopping potency of his lusting gaze -- combined and shattered, full force, as her orgasm took her body. Over and over and over she felt her insides collapsing and it felt better than words were capable of conveying, and over and over, he hit that perfect spot, and with almost no notice, Gamzee half-howled and he latched onto her, nails clawing into her shoulders and intensifying her climax, drawing it out as he came, erupting inside her. Immediately, even as her womb contracted, milking him for everything he was worth, thick, pale lavender cream gushed out from her, smearing over her thighs and her behind and dripping onto the floor.

There were several seconds filled with soft whines, whimpers, mewls of pleasure, and Jade couldn't hold herself up any longer, collapsing onto Gamzee, who sighed and gave up, too. His arms locked up around her, still, and his easing erection and warm juices still stuffed her insides comfortably.

Jade's head pressed onto his shoulder, dazed and gleeful. Her hands slowly found purchase in his hair, and her arms wrapped around his neck, and she tried to regulate her heart.


Gamzee, having found his soul again, let out a long whistle and draped a hand over her head. He smiled fondly at Jade.

"T'was pretty fuckin' good, my human sister," he hummed. "Pretty motherfuckin' good."

Jade snorted, her face scrunching up, and she replied, "Just good? God, I'd like to see great, then." She wasn't sure if her body could physically withstand "great".

At first, Gamzee didn't reply, and they sat in sleepy, satisfied silence. His finger detangled her hair politely, and ran down the length of her back, gliding against the layer of sweat. Just when Jade figured she was possibly overstaying her welcome in his very wonderful embrace and the blush was finding its way back to her cheeks, he spoke up, with the most marvelously crooked grin.

"Well, then... How's about motherfuckin' next time."