Primly sitting down in neither a rush or sluggishly, Draco closed his eyes in thought as he felt pressure poking at the wall of his mind. Truly, the hat was amazing. Entering the minds of students, the stories that his parents and grandparents told were severely lacking when it came to the sorting hat.
Humming slightly, Draco resisted the urge to kick his legs wildly as he waited.
The hat wasn’t even on Draco’s head as it started to shout. “Sly-”
“No thank you,” Draco thought loudly and immediately. Bringing his hands onto his lap in an all too graceful manner for his age, Draco opened his mind fully to the sorting hat. “I suppose I should say my greetings. Hello Master Sorting Hat, feeling well?”
The hat quieted down, as Professor McGonagall gently placed it onto Draco’s head. “Hello. Draco Malfoy,” the hat spoke pleasantly, ignoring Professor McGonagall’s nervous shifting. “Are you not planning to go to Slytherin? Your father, grandfather and great grandfathers were all there.”
“I would rather not be placed in Slytherin. My father and his forefathers all went there; nonetheless I am not them. Assumptions are surely beneath a hat of your standards.” Draco closed his eyes slowly as he conversed with the hat.
Loud whispers were heard around the great hall. As a supposedly easy and quick sorting wasn’t as quick as the majority assumed.
“Such expectations are disgraceful to place on one’s child. Not to mention micromanaging. Who’s to say that I would actually want to go to such a place? Father tells me that the dorm is in a dungeon. A dungeon! How dreadful. No sun coming in and while there are spells to mimic the sun.” Draco sniffed and the hat got the impression that the boy was sneering in his mind before he continued.
“I demand no less than the real thing. A cheap knock off would put me in a horrendous mood all the time. Not to mention that such environment would be horrible for the skin. No sun, just a dungeon,” Draco drawled in his mind as he sat perfectly still on the stool. “Is Hogwarts trying to cultivate the Slytherins? Is it trying to make sure that the Slytherins get use to dungeons and the like? No thank you. I would rather not be placed in a house that seems to breed potential criminals.”
Giving a slight huff, the hat felt amused by Draco’s response. “My, you are chatty. You can be great in Syltherin. I’ve seen it in your mind.” The hat confidentially said as it dug into Draco’s mind.
“How rude. Are you implying that I wouldn’t be great in any other house?” Draco sighed, his tone close to threatening as much as politely possible.
The hat puzzled at the question. “Well, no-”
“I do hope not, I am my own individual,” Draco said determinedly as he talked over the hat. His teaching from his mother taught him not to do that but honestly, Draco felt like ranting. Also, his mother wasn’t around to scold him. “Enough people assume that I’m going to be like my father. How, plebian those individuals’ thoughts.”
Grinning wildly, the hat chuckled as it ignored McGonagall’s impatient body language. “How Interesting.”
“Indeed. Shall we get back to the sorting?” Draco gave a rhetoric question as the murmurs of the hall became louder. “I believe I was just listing why I would not be sorted into that house.”
Giving a loud laugh, the hat tilted. “Amusing. If not Slytherin, then what? Hufflepuff?”
“Horrible color choices. I can pull off the color schemes with no problem. However, to place me in a house with those who are unable to talk to others they deem superior? It would be kinder to kill me.” Draco said, tone pleasant but the underlining threat clear to the hat.
The hat quickly peered over at the Hufflepuff table. The students in the yellow would most likely be scarred forever if it did place Draco there. “No. I would not be so cruel to either party.”
“Correct. They would cry. How awful that would be.” Draco continued as if he was commenting on the weather. “Such a shame too if that was to happen. I suppose you didn’t see the girls sitting there in the back when I walked in. Such well-placed makeup would be ruined by their tears.”
The hat hummed in agreement. “How about Ravenclaw?”
“Asking or telling. My dear, you must choose which and be firm. Such indecisions is unsuitable for a hat of your status. However I must decline. Their uncouth manners are appalling. The lot only care for books, I find their etiquette most lacking. I refuse to be associated with such people. The color schemes for that house are not entirely fitting for myself,” Draco stated as he brought a hand up to twirl a piece of his hair.
The hat sagged, whether in relief or not, it dared not contemplate. “Really?”
“Complaining is not appreciated nor is it polite. To answer your question, I find their colors too drab. Those colors, while still attractive on me, which every color is, are going to wash me out. I am already pale therefore I do not need any colors to assist in such a manner.”
The hat gritted its proverbial teeth as it flickered through the memories of Draco’s mind, “Interesting. How about Gryffindor.”
“Oh please,” Draco tilted his head slightly in thought. “I would prefer not to wear the color gold unless it is the actual metal. And the red! You must be joking.”
The hat exhaled deeply and McGonagall winced in sympathy. “Sly-”
“No,” Draco cut in again as the hat was about to shout. “Pale on pale is not attractive. Silver nearly blends in with my skin. I want impact with the colors.”
The hat radiated amusement and slight annoyance. “Then Ravenclaw,” it suggested.
“No need for that tone, dear hat. I believe we already discussed why I will not be going to Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff” Draco said the last parts with clear disdain.
The hat wondered if it was possible to quit or retire as it kept on finding memories of clothing and tea parties and proper etiquette for said parties. “Too true. The only wisdom you possess are for clothing and Tea. You’re not interested in knowing anything else.” The hat huffed humorously as it went further into Draco’s memories.
“You say those as if they are bad,” Draco sniffed with a slight frown, refusing to shift in discomfort as the hat went deeper into his mind. “I refuse to have you try to shame me when you have that a color”.
The hat shuffled slightly in satisfaction at a certain memory that happened recently along with more memories like it. The hat then grumbled as it acknowledged what Draco had said, “Are you insulting me?”
“Just stating that you appear worn down and grubby. Has the headmaster or any headmaster cleaned you? I’m surprised you’re not infested with lice,” Draco snidely commented in a contradicting polite tone.
The hat peered down at Draco. “Brazen determination. Stubborn. Courageous. Tendency to talk back to your elders. Willingness to argue your opinion against society norms.” The hat listed from what it saw in Draco’s memories as it ignored the snide remark from Draco.
Draco opened his eyes with a small smile on his lips. “You made up your mind,” Draco stated with a resigned sigh. “Are we done talking? How horrible. I was quite enjoying our conversation. Tis unfortunate, I had hoped to finish speaking with you. Make sure that you take care of yourself. I will make arrangements with the headmaster for our next conversation. Hopefully, that time I will have tea. I know this c-”
“Gryffindor!” the hat shouted in a rush and the great hall muted quickly. Only one was clapping as Draco took the hat and gave it to the stunned Professor McGonagall.
Gracefully standing up, Draco turned to give a short respectful bow to the hat. By the time Draco started to elegantly walk towards the table, the Gryffindor table started to clap lethargically. Sitting down with a delicate manner, Draco watched as the sorting was resumed from the momentarily stunned silence that Draco’s sorting had caused.