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Not for the first time, Chad wondered what he was doing here. Waiting around in some alley in the chilly New York night wasn't exactly his idea of fun. He doubted it was dangerous--surely anyone intending harm would go after one of the half-dozen or so teenage girls also waiting before targeting him, at least--but still. Not exactly somewhere he would've expected himself to be.
The door opened and his attention was drawn to the people who exited the building, but neither was the one he was waiting for, so he continued pacing for warmth, watching in amusement as the girls quickly descended on them. This was so not his world.
The next group to leave did contain the face he was looking for, thank goodness. Chad wasn't sure how much longer he could stand to be out here; he definitely missed the New Mexico climate.
"Yo, Evans!" he called.
Ryan's head turned in his direction, but it was clear he couldn't quite place him. Chad grinned, having expected such a reaction; then Ryan's face lit with recognition. He broke away from the small crowd at the door and met Chad halfway.
"Chad Danforth?" he asked incredulously.
"Yep!" Chad confirmed cheerfully.
"I almost didn't recognise you!"
"You know, it's the strangest thing, but ever since I cut my hair I've gotten that reaction a lot."
"Well, what do you expect? You look--"
"Different, yeah, I know."
Ryan shrugged. "I was going to say 'good', but 'different' works, too."
"And for the record, I almost didn't recognise you, either. Then you started dancing, and it was obvious."
Ryan self-consciously ran a hand through his now-dark hair. "Yeah, well, it's easier than wearing a wig all the time. I'm still getting used to it, though."
"I know what you mean. Some days my head still feels too light."
"So...it's pretty obvious why I dyed my hair, but why did you cut yours all off?'
It was Chad's turn to shrug. "Same reason, really: work. No one seemed all that interested in hiring a guy with long hair for anything that paid above minimum wage."
"Well, that sucks."
"Tell me about it."
An awkward pause fell over the conversation. Just as Chad started to wonder whether this had been a mistake, Ryan asked if he wanted to grab a cup of coffee. Chad smiled in relief and quickly agreed. Ryan led him to a diner a couple of blocks away; it wasn't the kind of place Chad would ever have pictured an Evans in, but Ryan seemed at home. The waiter certainly appeared to know him, greeting him by name and everything. They placed their orders, then Ryan asked Chad what he was doing there.
"In New York, or outside the theatre?"
"Either. Both. Whatever."
Chad laughed. "I'm in the city for a few days on business. I was at the theatre because I wanted to see you."
Ryan blinked at him, apparently not having expected that. Though what he had thought Chad might be doing at a stage door, Chad couldn't imagine....
"How did you--?"
"Know where to find you?" Ryan nodded. Chad shrugged. "Google is a wonderful thing. Your name pulled up a cast list for the show, so I bought a ticket. It's not like I had anything better to do tonight than stalk you."
Ryan returned his grin, but still looked a little bewildered. "Let me get this straight: you sat through an entire musical just to see me? I don't even have a named role! I'm barely one step above a swing!"
"What's that?"
"Never mind. The point is, it's impossible to pick me out from the rest of the ensemble. Did the fact that I'm nearly last in the cast list not warn you you'd be wasting your time?"
Chad shook his head dismissively. "I've told you, man. As soon as you started dancing you totally stood out. In a good way!" he hastened to add. "I've heard you sing better than half the main characters, too. You'll be playing leads again in no time."
A faint blush spread across Ryan's cheeks. "Wow, uh, thanks."
The arrival of their coffee and desserts gave Ryan a convenient opportunity to change the subject.
"So, are you still living in Albuquerque?"
"Technically, it's 'again', not 'still'."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, sophomore year I transferred out of U of A. To Berkeley, if you can believe it." Chad watched as Ryan tried to avoid spitting the sip of coffee he'd just taken across the table.
"Seriously?"
"Uh-huh."
"Wow. Do they even have a basketball team?" he joked.
Chad busied himself with his slice of apple pie, finding it easier to talk about this if he didn't have to make eye contact even after all these years. "Of course they do, but it didn't matter either way. Turns out, outside of high school I'm way too short to play organised ball."
"I'm sorry," Ryan said sincerely.
"Yeah, well...it was kind of naive of me to think it wouldn't matter. But Berkeley was good to me. And for me. So it all worked out in the end."
"I'm glad. And hey, there's not much height advantage in baseball, at least."
Chad laughed. "Yeah. Though by the time baseball season rolled around, I'd already kind of figured out that U of A wasn't really a good choice for me."
"How so?" Ryan asked, sounding genuinely interested.
"I guess...at first I just knew I needed to be further away from home. My family's great and everything, but sometimes you need to...not be around people who already have an idea of who they think you're supposed to be, you know? I think freshman year everything was just far enough from the way things had always been to make me realise it didn't really fit, and I needed even more distance to try and figure out how."
"So to get away from people who thought they knew you, you ran off after Troy?" Ryan asked skeptically.
"You didn't hear? Troy flunked out. I love him like a brother, but the fact is he's never been all that smart. Mostly, though, I get the impression he was too distracted by the whole thing with Gabriella to pay much attention to schoolwork."
"Sounds like Troy."
"No kidding," Chad agreed wryly. "So anyway, they broke up for good--and before you ask, I don't know what happened; Troy claims it came out of nowhere, which I don't believe, but I couldn't exactly ask Gabriella--he got kicked out, and he came back home. I suspect he may have asked your dad to pull some strings again, because U of A took him back. Then again, maybe he didn't; as long as I can remember, people have just given Troy things, no matter what he does. Or how short he is."
"And that sounds like Sharpay."
"Huh. I hadn't thought of it like that, but you're right. Only without the scheming."
"And less pink."
"More orange, though." That got a laugh out of Ryan, which gave him time to take a deep breath before forging ahead. Chad had had more or less this same conversation several times in the last few years, and it had gotten a lot easier with practice. He didn't know why he should be nervous now, especially since he knew he didn't have to worry about a negative reaction. "So basically Troy and I traded places. And like I said, it worked out really well for me. I was certainly a lot more comfortable coming out at Berkeley when the time came than I think I would have been in Albuquerque."
Ryan froze, eyes wide. Then he gave his head a quick shake, as though to snap himself out of it, and said lightly, "I imagine you would be."
Chad let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding and offered Ryan a tentative smile.
He could see Ryan had questions he was dying to ask--though certainly not many of them the ones he'd been bombarded with by, say, Troy--but the only one he voiced was, "So why did you move back?"
"I hadn't planned on it, but my dad was pretty sick for a while and I wanted to be close enough to help out. He's fine now, but I haven't really gotten around to thinking about leaving again."
"I don't blame you. I'd drop my life here in a heartbeat if someone in my family was ill."
"Yeah, I thought you might understand." He meant more than just the decision to move back to Albuquerque, and judging by the look on Ryan's face, he knew it, too. There was no need to be more specific, for which Chad was grateful.
"So...how long are you here for?"
"Just the weekend. I've got meetings tomorrow, but I get to spend Saturday and most of Sunday on my own before I have to go back."
"D'you have any plans?"
"Not yet," Chad said with a grin. He'd been hoping for this.
"Unfortunately, I've got two shows on Saturday and a matinee on Sunday, plus tomorrow night's show of course, but if you'd like to hang out after the evening performances or in the mornings, I'll be happy to show you around," Ryan offered.
"I'd like that," Chad agreed. They traded cell phone numbers, then Chad reluctantly decided it was time to head back to his hotel. That first meeting tomorrow was pretty early, and he definitely didn't want to go into it short of sleep.
He slept well, though in the end it didn't seem to do him any good; all day his mind kept wandering. It was a relief to finally get out of his last meeting and call Ryan. There wasn't really enough time to get together before Ryan had to go to work, but they agreed to meet outside the theatre again, so Chad was feeling pretty cheerful again when he picked a place at random to eat dinner. Being alone, he didn't linger over the meal, even though that left him with more time to kill. In the end, he decided to drop by the theatre box office and see if there was a ticket available for that night. Sure, he'd already seen it, but that was better than sitting around his hotel room, right?
This time, knowing someone was waiting for him, Ryan came out more promptly afterwards and approached Chad right away, smiling a greeting. The crowd was larger tonight, but no one tried to catch Ryan's attention as he passed, so it wasn't long before they left the theatre behind. They were discussing where to go when Ryan noticed Chad shivering while they were waiting to cross the street, and declared they were headed to the nearest café that was still open so Chad could warm up.
Once they'd settled at a table with steaming mugs of hot chocolate, Ryan apologised. "I know this isn't very exciting, but you looked like you needed to be indoors."
"Nah, it's good. Don't worry about trying to entertain me; I'm perfectly willing to just sit around and talk."
Ryan returned his smile, looking pleased.
The conversation was a little stilted at first as they sought to think up topics that might interest them both, but by the time they were on their second drinks they'd relaxed and the discussion was flowing freely. It reminded Chad of that summer at Lava Springs, only without all the bitterness.
Hours later they had long since switched to coffee and their conversation had grown quieter, more serious. The pauses had grown longer, too, but they were comfortable nonetheless.
Ryan smothered a yawn.
"Your sister's not going to kill me for keeping you out so late, is she?" he asked guiltily.
"What? No! Shar doesn't even live in New York."
"She doesn't? I just assumed...."
"Yeah, well, she's decided she hates New York ever since Juilliard gave me that scholarship. After college she moved out to LA instead, having made up her mind she'd be a movie star."
"Yeah, that does sound more like her speed. No one really gets famous and stuff from theatre, do they?"
"Actually, it does happen, but it's pretty rare," Ryan explained. "But the problem was that she hadn't hit it big after six months and wasn't willing to work her way up. Small parts are beneath her; according to Shar, they're beneath me, too. Never mind that I'm in the original cast of a major new Broadway show and get to make a cast album and everything--I'm just in the ensemble, so I shouldn't bother." Ryan scoffed; Chad shook his head in agreement. "Anyway, she moved back to Albuquerque, too. At least there she can get the kind of attention she wants, because of who our parents are."
"Huh. Somehow I never would have pictured her as giving up."
"Yeah, well, patience was never her strong suit."
"No, really?"
Ryan laughed. It wasn't the first time he'd done so that night, but Chad never got tired of hearing it.
"So...do you have another roommate, then, since your sister's back home, or are you cheating and letting your parents support you? Given how you always hear about how little theatre pays, and how expensive New York is, I don't imagine 'ensemble' is the kind of job that makes it possible for you to live off of just that."
"No, it isn't. But what good are rich parents if you won't let them do something for you when they offer?" Judging from Ryan's smirk, he wasn't offended by the question. "Yes, I do let them pay for my apartment, precisely so I can live alone. After spending most of my life around my sister nearly all the time, I've learned I like the quiet."
"Yeah, your sister's a bit much. I'm not surprised you'd want to be alone for a while."
For about half a second, Ryan looked uncertain, but the look was gone before Chad could be sure he wasn't imagining it. "Hey, it's getting kind of late, and we've been sitting here forever. D'you wanna maybe go back to my place and talk there? Or we could call it a night," he added hastily.
"No, your place sounds great." Ryan smiled, so Chad figured that was the right answer. Good, because he was nowhere near ready to say goodbye, even for just a few hours.
Ryan hailed them a cab, and within ten minutes they were settled on Ryan's couch.
"Nice place," Chad commented. It wasn't quite what he'd expected, neither large nor fancy, but on reflection he suspected all those years of seeing Ryan go along with whatever Sharpay wanted had given him a false impression of Ryan's tastes. This was comfortable, unassuming, and seemed to fit Ryan somehow.
"Thanks."
"Listen, I know you've got to work tomorrow, so feel free to kick me out whenever you need to sleep," he felt compelled to say. He didn't want to go, but he didn't want to cause problems for Ryan either.
"As long as I don't try to get up again too early, I'm good for another couple hours, I think. And you're welcome to stay here tonight, if you want."
"If you're sure...?"
"I'm sure."
"Cool."
At the café they'd mostly talked about fairly general subjects, but here, safely in the privacy of Ryan's apartment, their conversation gradually became more personal.
So when Ryan asked if he wanted him to pull some strings and get Chad a ticket to the sold-out Knicks game Saturday night, Chad felt comfortable telling the truth.
"Remember how I said in college I needed to get away from people who thought they knew who I was?" Ryan nodded. "Well, what I ended up figuring out about myself wasn't just, you know, the gay thing."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Turns out, I'm not nearly as into basketball as we all thought. Myself included, I mean. I just...I think somewhere along the line people started assuming I loved it more than I really did, so I started playing along with their expectations, and before long we all began to believe it was my life. I enjoy it, sure, but one of the first clues that I didn't know myself as well as I thought I did was when I didn't make the Redhawks team. I expected to feel crushed, but I was actually relieved, almost." He took a sip of his water, then looked over to see Ryan's reaction.
"I think that may be more surprising than you being gay," Ryan said lightly.
"Yeah, well, I haven't quite been able to tell Troy this one. Or Coach Bolton. So you may be right."
Ryan's laugh was sleepy, but warm, and Chad found himself nearly telling him the other big clue that he had some self-reflection to do: how very much he'd missed Ryan after his move to New York. Which had made no sense to Chad, given that they'd only been friends a year--and, really, once school had started back up they'd pretty much stopped hanging out. That had been Chad's fault, he knew, but it had taken him a couple of years to understand why he'd distanced himself from Ryan.
Looking back, it was pretty clear he'd had a thing for Ryan their senior year of high school, and it had scared him. He could admit that now. He just wasn't sure he wanted to admit it to Ryan.
Gradually as the night wore on the pauses in the conversation grew longer and their yawns more frequent. Chad thought he had a vague memory of Ryan falling asleep where he sat shortly before Chad drifted off beside him, but when he woke up he was alone, lying on the couch with a pillow under his head and a blanket over him, so he wasn't sure if that memory was even real.
There was no sound coming from the rest of the apartment, so presumably Ryan was either out or still asleep. He didn't see much point in getting up, so he just pulled the blanket tighter around him and thought back over the past couple of days. He couldn't remember when he'd last had so much fun just talking to someone. Probably not since that summer at Lava Springs, if he were honest with himself. He was definitely glad he'd looked Ryan up; it had seemed like a risk at first, given how quickly they'd fallen out of touch once they'd started college. He'd been afraid that Ryan might not want to spend any real time with him--or worse, might not remember him. Clearly those fears had been groundless.
Eventually Ryan emerged from the direction of the bedroom and, seeing Chad was also awake, offered to make coffee. They didn't speak much as it brewed and they each gratefully drank a cup, both feeling like they could use another few hours of sleep. And Chad, at least, had a bit of a sore throat from the unaccustomed amount of talking he'd done the day before; he hoped Ryan was better off. The last thing he wanted to do was make it hard for Ryan to sing.
Once they'd both recovered somewhat from their late night, they agreed to go out for lunch before Ryan had to go to work, then meet up again after the evening show. Chad wouldn't have minded hanging out between performances, but Ryan said he generally didn't have time to do much more than grab a bite to eat before he had to get back to the theatre, so Chad reluctantly abandoned that idea.
In the end, he did the boring thing and went back to his hotel while Ryan was at the theatre. He didn't really feel like being touristy, and anyway, a chance to get out of the clothes he'd slept in was welcome. He also decided to get a head start on packing, since anything he could get done now meant that much less time he'd have to spend on it tomorrow morning, which he could spend with Ryan instead. Once that was done, he turned on the TV and flipped channels for a while before giving up and getting out the book he'd brought for the plane. Every half-hour or so he couldn't resist checking his watch, until finally he gave up on trying to read, too.
He was startled out of what could only be described as daydreaming by the ringing of his phone. A glance at the display revealed that it was Ryan.
"Aren't you supposed to be working?" he greeted Ryan, glad no one could see the grin he was unable to keep off his face.
"I'm on my way to grab dinner. I don't have time to chat, just had a quick question for you."
"Shoot."
"It's a cast member's birthday today, and some of the others are going to a club after tonight's show to celebrate. I thought I'd see if you wanted to join them. It's all right if you don't," Ryan hastened to add before Chad could reply. "I mean, I'm not especially close to Carrie or anything. Obviously, or I'd have known it was her birthday before now. So feel free to say no."
"Whoa, slow down!" Chad interrupted, laughing. "Do you want to go?"
"You know me, I'm pretty much always up for dancing. Doesn't mean I can't have fun doing other things, too."
Chad thought for a moment about saying no, not doubting Ryan's sincerity when he said it was up to Chad; then he thought about how long it had been since he'd seen that look on Ryan's face when he lost himself in the music, and it seemed worth sacrificing what would probably be their last few hours together.
"Let's do it."
"Really?"
"Sure, why not?"
"Cool. I'll see you in a few hours."
"See ya."
As he shut his phone, it occurred to Chad that in a way this was kinda a little like a date, almost.
Yeah, he wasn't going to be repeating that thought to Ryan.
He managed to waste some of the remaining time before he could meet Ryan by having a leisurely dinner at a restaurant the front desk clerk recommended, but though he considered going for a walk after, stepping back out into the cold New York winter reminded him of why he hadn't done so earlier. He didn't know how Ryan could stand the weather here.
In the end he went back to the hotel and resumed watching the clock. Eventually it was time to bundle up again, though at least this time there was a reason to brave the cold.
It was only a few minutes after Chad noticed the first of the Playbill-carrying crowd walking past the alley's entrance that Ryan poked his head out of the stage door and called him over.
"No need for you to wait out here for everyone to get changed," he explained. "Come inside where it's warm."
"I can do that?"
"Sure." He held the door open and ushered Chad inside. "Come on back while I finish getting ready."
Ryan led him up three floors of a dimly-lit staircase and into a small, crowded dressing room. They wove their way through the maze of bags, shoes, and occupied chairs to an empty spot. Judging from the photos of Sharpay and Mrs Evans taped to the mirror, this was Ryan's regular station. As Ryan sat and began removing his makeup, Chad looked around curiously.
"I think we had nicer dressing rooms at East," he observed. "Definitely larger."
"No kidding," Ryan agreed easily. "But at least this one hasn't had the, uh, 'benefit' of my sister's redecorating."
Chad suppressed an involuntary shudder at the idea. He'd never been in the dressing room Sharpay had claimed as her own in high school, but he could imagine. Mostly, he was imagining something that looked like a flamingo had exploded.
No one else was really talking, so Chad refrained from further comment and tried not to watch the quick, efficient movements with which Ryan stripped the makeup from his face too obviously. Judging by the knowing smirk the guy to Ryan's right sent him, he wasn't successful. Luckily, Ryan had already changed out of his costume and didn't need long to finish getting ready; his cast mates, not having taken the time to go down to street level and fetch Chad, were just as quick. In only a few minutes Ryan was carefully placing a hat on his head and declaring himself ready to go find the rest of the group.
About a dozen people were waiting for the guys from Ryan's dressing room down by the stage door. Ryan quickly introduced him to everyone, and the group set off.
During the walk to the club, Chad mostly kept quiet, not wanting to intrude on conversations he couldn't really take part in, anyway, not having any idea what they were talking about most of the time. When Ryan caught his eye, Chad returned his questioning look with a reassuring smile: no, he hadn't changed his mind.
The club Ryan's cast mates had chosen was busy but not overly crowded, and to Chad's relief the music was actually pretty decent. Good beer, too. He was content to hang out at the bar once he'd finally convinced Ryan to stop worrying about entertaining him and go dance. He had a pretty good view where he was and saw no need to leave his stool unless Ryan moved out of his line of sight. After they'd been there about an hour, a flushed, beaming Ryan looked directly at Chad and beckoned for him to join him. Chad smiled, but shook his head; Ryan pouted and gestured again, more insistently. Chad gave in to the inevitable, downing the last of his beer before heading to the dance floor. Ryan beamed even more brightly when he realised he was going to get his way, which Chad privately thought was already enough to make his capitulation worthwhile.
They danced for two or three songs; it didn't surprise Chad that Ryan's colleagues didn't give them a second glance, but he was startled to realise that no one else did, either. Maybe New York had its good points after all.
When the music turned slow, Ryan moved closer and slid his arms around Chad's waist; the movement felt so natural it didn't even occur to Chad to consider sitting this one out. Instead he took the opportunity to enjoy holding Ryan, feeling the ghost of his breath on his face. Then Ryan's gaze flicked up just slightly, meeting Chad's, and he forgot about everything else. Looking back, he could never remember who leaned in first; all he knew was that suddenly they were kissing. Gently at first, then with increasing urgency. When they separated, they stared at each other for a few breaths before Ryan asked if he wanted to go back to the apartment.
"My hotel's closer," Chad replied. "I think."
"Hotel it is," Ryan agreed, giving him a warm smile. He stepped away for a moment to tell the others they were bailing, then took Chad's hand as they worked their way through the crowd. Luckily Ryan knew the area well enough to lead the way once Chad told him which hotel he'd been staying at. It was even closer than Chad had thought, a fact they were both grateful for.
Later, Chad strove to remain awake, wanting to savour the moment: the warmth of Ryan's body next to him, the softness of his expression as he slept. The memory of his hands, his mouth, his skin. The surprising definition of his muscles, despite his slenderness. It had all been better than Chad would have imagined if he'd ever allowed his imagination to go there.
Okay, so maybe he wasn't as over Ryan as he'd thought.
He certainly hadn't expected to end up here when he'd decided to look Ryan up while he was in New York. He'd refused to let himself consider the possibility, knowing it was unlikely to happen.
Perhaps it was for the best that he was leaving in a few hours; there'd be no awkwardness as they tried to figure out if the other was wanting or even expecting a repeat occurrence the following night. He'd be back in Albuquerque by then, and it could remain a pleasant memory.
Eventually he drifted off, and when he woke it was to the sight of Ryan blinking sleepily at him from a few inches away.
"Good morning," Chad ventured.
"Morning," Ryan mumbled.
"Not a morning person?" Chad just smiled fondly at the glare that was Ryan's only reply. Normally Chad wasn't much more of a morning person, either--especially considering how late it must have been when he fell asleep--but today he didn't mind waking up. He had a sneaking suspicion that wasn't so much because he'd gotten laid as just who he was waking up next to.
He couldn't say any of that to Ryan, but he could, and did, offer him breakfast. Interpreting the noise Ryan made as an affirmative, Chad rolled over and grabbed the room service menu off the nightstand. Since Ryan clearly wasn't up to coherent speech just yet, Chad read the brunch menu out loud and assumed Ryan's occasional grunts were indications of which items he wanted. Chad called in their order; when he turned back, Ryan's eyes had slipped closed again. Grinning to himself--though, really, he shouldn't be finding this anywhere near as adorable as he was--Chad pressed a gentle kiss to Ryan's forehead and told him, "You go ahead and sleep until the food gets here. I'm going to take a quick shower while we wait."
Chad was almost finished with his shower when he was surprised by the curtain's being pulled back. Ryan, who'd appeared sound asleep just a few minutes earlier, slipped into the shower, closed the curtain, and turned to face him.
"I hope you don't mind if I join you."
"Not at all."
"Good. Now," Ryan continued with that smirk Chad remembered so well, "I believe we have about twenty minutes left before breakfast will be here...."
All too soon the room service cart had been returned to the hall and they were stretching out Ryan's departure as long as possible, each repeatedly thinking of Just One More Thing he wanted to say before they said goodbye. Unfortunately, there was no way around it: Ryan had to go to work, and that was that. And Chad had to return to New Mexico, no matter how much he now wished he could remain in New York.
"I'm glad you looked me up," Ryan told him.
"So am I. I've had a lot of fun. And I don't just mean the past twelve hours," Chad added with a smirk.
"Let's not wait years before we get in touch again this time, hmm?"
Chad laughed. "Deal. You know, there's a good chance they'll send me out here again in a few weeks."
"That'd be nice. And hey, we've got each other's numbers now, so...."
"No excuse for losing touch again."
"Exactly."
"Good. I'll hold you to that."
Ryan glanced at his watch and sighed. "I really do have to go now. Have a safe trip. I'll call you later?"
"You'd better. Go knock 'em dead, Mr Third-Dancer-From-The-Left."
Ryan grinned, gave him one last quick kiss, and left. Chad sighed and looked around the hotel room, which somehow seemed emptier than it had a day earlier, before Ryan had ever been there.
The trip back to New Mexico was uneventful, though Chad's mind remained in New York, wondering how long he should wait before calling Ryan. He'd just made it home and tossed his bag on the couch to be unpacked later when his phone rang. Chad checked the display and smiled.
"I was just thinking about you."