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It’s not that Gabriel is insecure. That’s not it at all. Some people might argue that he’s too secure. That he’s too sure of himself. That he’s arrogant and cocky as to the point of being obnoxious.
But then Gabriel meets Sam and they start dating and then they start having sex and yeah, he starts to think different.
Because Sam is gorgeous. Anyone with functioning eyes can see that. Sam is tall like a skyscraper, with the body of a swimmer and the hair of a Norse god in a shampoo commercial. And his smile. His goddamn smile that dimples and brightens up a room more effectively than the damn Sun.
And, sure, we can argue that Gabriel goes a little overboard when cataloguing and examining Sam’s various attractive features because Gabriel is just slightly whipped silly by him, by his personality and his presence. Maybe Gabriel’s a little biased and that makes him exaggerate Sam’s good looks just a smidgen, but he’s not completely off-mark because Sam is absolutely stunning by anyone’s standards.
Gabriel…well…Gabriel isn’t. He’s just a little below average height and he’s got a bit of a belly from enjoying candy a little too much and exercise a little too little. He’s not fat by any stretch of the imagination- not even chubby, really. But when he’s lying in bed next to a sleeping Sam, he’ll run his fingers lightly across Sam’s abs (making sure to press a little because if he just ghosts over them, it tickles Sam’s sensitive stomach and wakes him up) and he’ll poke at his own round-ish softness and make an annoyed face because he looks like a freaking schlump compared to this athletic Michelangelo statue.
Upset, Gabriel will turn over on his side, back to Sam, and try to sleep. At some point during the night, Sam will turn over, possibly still half asleep, and spoon him from behind, draping his big arm over Gabriel and trailing his hand from Gabriel’s chest down to his stomach and tracing around it, tucking his hand between Gabriel’s side and the bed to pull him in closer, hold him there in place. He won’t realize that Gabriel is feeling self-conscious because of his belly, he’ll just hug him close and breathe evenly against his hair because Sam is too asleep to notice and even if he weren’t, he wouldn’t give a shit about Gabriel’s belly because Gabriel is close and that’s all he really cares about.
It makes Gabriel feel better that Sam still holds him like that while they sleep. But he doesn’t delude himself. He knows that when he and Sam go out in public, people aren’t doing double-takes to get another look at him. They’re doing it because Sam is walking past them and yeah, that ass deserves a second glance. And a third. And a fourth. And a whole hour of just staring at it. Gabriel knows. Gabriel’s been there.
It doesn’t bother him that people stare, not really. In fact, he kind of enjoys it. Knowing that people are attracted to Sam but they can’t do shit about it because Sam is his and he got him and no one else can and yeah, that feels pretty awesome. But there’s always that feeling that niggles at him and bothers him because if other people realize that Sam is so gorgeous beyond belief and they don’t understand how he could ever attach himself to such a plain Joe like Gabriel, maybe someday Sam will realize it too. Maybe one day Sam will realize that Gabriel is just too plain for him and move on, and that’s what bothers Gabriel. Not that Sam is better looking than him, but that Sam is too good looking for him and hasn’t realized it yet and one day he might.
Going out on dates is what makes Gabriel really uncomfortable. For example, when some pretty waitress with big brown eyes is taking their order at a restaurant and completely ignoring Gabriel’s existence, Gabriel feels a little irked because he is sitting right there and Sam is across from him and Sam is his and if she could stop drooling all over their tablecloth, that’d be awesome, thanks.
But Sam doesn’t even notice, too busy looking over his menu. And Gabriel’s hand is resting casually on the table as he looks over and Sam doesn’t even look up as he moves his hand nonchalantly to trace his forefinger along each of Gabriel’s fingers, from knuckle to tip. Gabriel smiles as the girl shifts uncomfortably next to him because Sam does this all the time. He won’t even notice he’s doing it, he just reaches out and grounds himself with just the lightest touch because Sam has lost a lot of people in his life and he likes knowing that someone he loves is right there so he reaches out and touches them. Gabriel’s seen him do it with his brother Dean and his uncle Bobby and even Gabriel’s little brother, Sam’s best friend, Cas. Sam always sits close to them, touches his knee to theirs, bumps their shoulders, leans into them. Just to make sure they’re thereand he does it with Gabriel all the time.
Once he takes his order and Gabriel’s taken his, the girl takes their menus and walks away, miffed, and Sam’s just realized that he’s been stroking Gabriel’s fingers for a full five minutes and just smiles, turns over his palm and Gabriel doesn’t take his hand. He just rests his fingertips on the center of Sam’s palm and they stay like that as they talk and chat and flirt like teenagers on their first date like they always do. And Sam keeps him grounded, keeps touching him just to make sure he’s there, all throughout the dinner and Gabriel thinks that no matter how ‘plain’ he may think he is, Sam obviously doesn’t care and probably never will because he loves Gabriel unconditionally and that makes Gabriel feel like the most gorgeous, perfect man in the entire world.
Well. The second most gorgeous, perfect man in the world.