Actions

Work Header

Looks Like the End of the World

Work Text:

…feels funny like her breathing. Her lungs are limitless and she can breathe in and in and in, air like a river down her throat, rapids in her lungs, her chest is bigger and bigger and she is—

In pain. Pain white like a fresh, untouched sheet of paper. It hurts just that white, and Zoey is surprised to open her eyes and see only darkness. Her shoulder and her neck and her chest and breathing is no good anymore. She breathes out hard and is dizzy, dizzier like Charlie’s first kisses.

She’s locked in a closet. They left her here a thousand breaths ago and it’s dark and she’s going to pee soon. Her shoulder hurts, and that wakes her up sometimes, the pain a searchlight in her head, stark and dazzling, picking out random bits of memory and moving on.

Jean-Paul liked the new panties. He put his fingers underneath them and grinned when she squirmed and made her feel sexy and dirty when he talked about fucking in French. She’s going to pee in her panties soon. Don’t measure by breaths, measure by the bladder. Locked in the closet long enough to pee on herself.

Dad looks at her different now because he knows about the fucking and he knows she likes this more than she should, likes being his daughter, likes the cameras and the planes and the…

…people at the fashion show all so beautiful and the agents dark patches of soberness around her and people always looking and Jean-Paul’s hands daring. Where are the agents?

…be so worried. Dad will be scary and mom will forget how strong she is. How long will they have to wait before someone finds her?

Charlie found her in the kitchen and Josh introduced them. She let him pay for half of the dates because it made him feel good and he stopped respecting her because of dad and started respecting her because of her. He told her she was beautiful, and his hands struck violin notes on her body. She runs her hand down her own side and hears it for a moment. Like a cricket, she thinks, like how crickets rub their—

But moving makes it hurt again, and suddenly she’s not like a cricket anymore. She’s locked in a closet and she’s really high and how long…

Someone will come. Someone will open the door and the light will be like a choir’s triumphant note, and that’s not right either, light is just light, but she can imagine how it will look, the sound of it in her eyes and she doesn’t care anymore. Someone will come and let her…

…ever let them mom said. Only the one guy really drunk freshman year and Gina knocked him down and scared him because he was drunk and crazy and he wanted to…he wanted her to…he pulled at her shirt…

…wants her jacket. She’s getting cold. Where did she leave…somewhere in the club tonight…

…looks like the end of the world…

Someone will come, and it will be the right someone, not the wrong someone. They’ll let her out where the air isn’t heavy like bass notes in her chest. When the door opens it won’t be because they’re going to kill her or…

…like the end of the world…

…will come. Someone will…