Who’s the big spoon/little spoon?
Steve is the big spoon. Always, hands-down. And there's a few reasons for that.
The first is that Steve always gives in and goes to bed before Tony does. He tries to get Tony to take a break and sleep for a few hours, but Tony always resists, until Steve finally gives up, kisses Tony and goes up to their room. A few hours later, Tony will eventually submit to exhaustion and rather than collapse at his computer station, will finally go up to their room. Steve will wake up just enough, when Tony slides into bed, to pull him up against his chest and wrap his arms around him, cuddling him like a favorite stuffed animal. A remarkable pairing of convienence and chance. This is the only reason they both acknowledge to one another.
The second is that if Tony is the big spoon, the light of the arc-reactor is darkened, and the room is completely pitch-black. Which Tony can totally deal with... for about ten minutes. Then it starts to make him tense and nervous, and he can't sleep. With Steve behind him, the soft glow permeates his shirt and the whole room is cast in a faint blue light. And while they don't talk about this, Tony knows that Steve knows about it. He knows that Steve knows because whenever Steve pulls him close and cuddles him, he's always careful to not block the light of the arc-reactor completely. He always leaves room for it to shine out. Tony is eternally grateful for this.
The third reason is that when Steve wakes up, sometimes he panics, worries that it's happened again, that he's slept for decades and lost everything and everyone again. He wakes up sweating and terrified, and it helps, a lot actually, when he can tighten his hold on Tony and remind himself that he's right where he should be. And while they don't talk about it, Steve knows that Tony knows about it, because whenever Steve wakes up and squeezes him a little tighter than strictly necessary, Tony grips Steve's hand against his chest and whispers soft reassurances they don't talk about later on.
What is their favourite non-sexual activity?
Watching movies and television. Steve has 70 years of pop culture references and history to catch up on and Tony's taken it as a personal mission to make sure he covers everything.
They started with movies that came out just after Steve's... incident, and they've gone through and caught all the big titles, one decade at a time. Steve doesn't care for musicals, they figured that out soon enough, and Tony was pleased as hell they didn't have to watch those anymore. And while he didn't say anything Tony can tell he doesn't like movies with any kind of amnesiac characters in situations where they are trying to figure out what's going on. Tony figures it hits a little close to home.
Steve does, however, enjoy science fiction. Tony doesn't really get why, since 2012 must feel like science fiction for Steve already, but he'll stare at the screen transfixed at any science fiction movie Tony chooses.
Occasionally, they'll pause the movie they're watching and Tony will explain a pop-culture reference a character has made, and Steve will listen and try his best to remember later on.
They also watch documentaries. Lots and lots of documentaries. The nature and science documentaries are fun because Steve has this sense like he's exploring the whole world through them and it's fun to watch how excited he gets over them.
The history documentaries are a lot harder and they watch most of them more out of necessity than desire. Tony knows Steve needs to know what happened, but he doesn't really want to show him. When he showed Steve the documentaries that went over the details of 9/11, the Oklahoma City bombing and other mass disasters, neither of them talked at all; Tony just kept his arm around Steve and pretended he didn't notice how upset Steve would get.
Who uses all the hot water in the morning?
Neither of them. Tony likes quick showers because he's trying to get out and get back to the lab. He doesn't pay much attention to water temperature, so he never uses much hot water.
Steve takes short showers because that's what he did in the military and he likes to keep the few habits he can.
What do they order from takeout?
When they first got together, Tony would order something new and different every night, each time introducing Steve to something new. It was an adventure to see Steve's reaction to new and updated food, especially the night when they discovered that Steve is very, very allergic to seafood.
Now that they've worked into more of a routine, they both like burgers and pizza, although they fight over the toppings, and end up agreeing on mushrooms and pepperoni, anyway. Occasionally, though, Steve will order Chinese despite Tony's protest, and Tony will complain about it, and Steve will complain when Tony steals his eggrolls, but in reality, they're both pretty happy.
What is the most trivial thing they fight over?
Probably the pizza toppings. In the scope of their life, that's pretty trivial.
Who does most of the cleaning?
Steve. Steve was a neat-freak before the "Captain America" thing and it's been incredibly easy for him to keep up the routine. Not only is it one more habit he can cling to, it's something that helps him feel like he has control in his life. He's relaxed a little bit, since getting together with Tony. Being with Tony has helped him feel like he has more control, plus Tony's "fuck it" personality has rubbed off enough for him not to sweat the small things.
Tony only cleans up in his lab. And only when absolutely necessary. Usually, he just makes Dum-E or U do it.
Who leaves their stuff around?
Tony. Always. Goes along with the cleaning. Tony practically has A.D.D., going from one place and thing to another usually leaving quite a mess behind.
Who remembers to buy the milk?
Tie. Between Steve and J.A.R.V.I.S.
When Steve first moved in, he wasn't surprised when he found out Tony had a personal shopper buy all his groceries, but, given the choices, he decided to do the shopping himself. He makes shopping lists and then cross-references it with the list that J.A.R.V.I.S. makes, since he has a program designed to monitor the contents of the fridge.
Who remembers anniversaries?
...Tony usually doesn't even remember what month it is, let alone specific days.
Steve doesn't do a whole lot better, honestly.
Who usually ends up reminding them are the other Avengers. Bruce asking Tony what he plans on doing for Steve's birthday. Clint asking Steve what he's planning for Valentine's Day. They camoflauge it as curiosity, but they're really reminding them, since pretty much everyone knows they're both going to forget.
What do they do when they’re away from each other?
When Tony is away from Steve, it's because he's down in his lab, working. He's tried to get Steve involved more than once, with surprisingly good results. Steve manages to understand quite a bit of what Tony explains, since he's pretty smart when he's not thrown in way over his head; Bruce breaking down the concepts a little easier than Tony could manage. In one instance, he even actually managed to help Tony solve a problem he'd been having with the new suits repulsor design. However, Steve doesn't particularly enjoy being down in the lab, much happier to leave Tony to his own science thing with Bruce.
Steve, when left to his own devices, does not, as most would believe, spend all his time in the gym. He figured out that, past anger management, it didn't serve much purpose. His muscle wasn't going anywhere. After spending so much time in war and in battle, Steve has learned he's quite fond of the quiet. This is why he'd been particularly pleased when he ran across Tony's library, stocked with classic books (Some of which Steve had actually read before), and best-sellers. He spent a lot of his time in there, and eventually started bringing his art supplies with him to draw and paint, another activity he enjoyed in the quiet.
And if one day he went in and the entire room had been rearraged to accomodate a large easel, and a cupboard filled with his art supplies, well, who'd ever mention it, anyway?
Who steals the covers at night?
They sleep close enough to one another (see first question), that neither one of them really has a chance to steal the covers.
What do they get each other for gifts?
Steve only gives gifts at holidays, and when he does, it’s some geeky gadget he’s found on the internet (another thing he caught onto pretty quickly when given the proper chance), and he knows exactly what Tony’s going to do with it. He takes it apart, modifies the shit out of it and plays with all it’s potential capabilties. You should've seen the year Steve got him a remote controlled helicopter. No one was safe.
During the rest of the year, when Tony just gives Steve things for no reason, Steve doesn’t. Giving gifts just isn’t how he shows affection. Instead, he tapes notes to Tony’s monitor, cooks for him, draws doodles on his hands while they’re talking, and strokes his hair while they watch movies. Tony loves those things more than any object Steve could give him.
Tony, on the other hand, loves giving presents of any kind for any reason he can find. Clothing, cars, expensive art supplies, trips to exotic places, whatever Steve implies he might like. Steve is used to it and while he’s uncomfortable with how much money Tony spends on him, he understands why Tony does it, and appreciates the more romantic under-lying sentiment than the actual gift.
And he always goes out of his was to make sure that Tony understands he doesn’t have to buy Steve’s love.
Who kissed who first?
Tony kissed Steve. Looking back, they'd both agree it was... sad.
Tony had gotten drunk off his ass and Steve had been trying his best to get Tony go to bed and sleep it off. Half-way to his room, Tony had caught Steve by surprise and shoved him up against a wall, kissing him on the mouth and gripping the sides of Steve's T-shirt. Steve had been too shocked to respond. A fact Tony had, unfortunately taken as rejection, pulling away as though he'd been physically burned. Steve had continued to lead Tony back to his room, simultaneously trying to figure the whole thing out in his head and listen to Tony apologize and ramble almost incoherently at the same time. Steve's pretty sure the first time Tony broke his heart was when Steve finally got him to lay down in his bed and he heard Tony whisper before dropping into unconciousness, more to himself than Steve, 'Who'd want a fuck-up like me, anyway?'
Steve's plan to make sure Tony was okay and then leave was promptly obliterated. He kicked off his shoes and laid down next to Tony, stroking his hair while he slept. And while he knew Tony couldn't hear him, he spent a long time whispering, telling Tony how he wasn't a fuck-up, how he was beautiful and he was sorry Tony couldn't see that, and how Steve really did want him, he just never thought he could have him.
Who started the relationship?
They both did, the next morning.
Tony had been shocked to wake up cuddled up next to Steve. He tried pulling away and getting out of there before Steve woke up. He failed, pretty epically; getting tangled up in the sheets and ended up, not only waking Steve up, but being pulled tight against his chest, snuggled closer now than before. Steve whispered reassurances that it was okay, he wasn't going anywhere. In Tony's too hung-over, too honest, too serious state, he'd answered that was good, because he didn't want to be alone.
Neither of them were sure if Tony meant right then or just in general.
Steve took it as both. Tony's still infinitely glad he did.