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Alternia High aka Hell on Earth

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"Karkat, you lazy piece of shit, get up and go to school!"

You scowl, shouting back "Dumb shit, I'm already awake, now leave me alone, bastard!"

"Stop whining and actually get ready, before I come upstairs and kick your ass!"

You groan, putting your head in your hands. Fuck, you had forgotten that today was the first day of hell. Obviously, you're already awake, since you never sleep unless you pass out from sleep deprivation.

Before your dad interrupted you, you were reading a romantic novel, but you should probably get your sorry ass to school. You get up and ignore the outfit that Kanaya told you to wear on the first day, instead getting dressed into a black t-shirt and jeans. You also pull a formless dark brown hoodie with a red blood symbol on it over your head. Hopefully, Kanaya doesn't give you too much shit about how you have no sense of style. She's way too fucking obsessed with fashion, but you actually enjoy her company. She's one of your closest friends and has been there for you for a long time. You still don't understand how she manages to put up with your bull shit.

You're about to leave your room, when the demon spawn, Cancer, hisses at you. He's sitting next to his food bowl, and you kick him lightly out of the way so that you can actually feed the fucker. You know that if you don't feed this sorry excuse for a cat now, he will attempt to claw your eyes out when you get home. You would know, since he's almost succeeded once or twice. You shudder at the memory and silently hate your life for the thousandth time. You also hate yourself, but you'll get into that some other time. Anyway, so after you feed this furry black demon, you head downstairs, flipping your dad off before leaving the video store that you just so happen to live in. Fuck breakfast.

On the way to school, you stop in front of an apartment building, debating whether or not to wait, or just head to school by yourself. Fuck it, you'll wait for a bit, if he doesn't show up in the next five minutes, you'll leave. You don't have to wait very long though, since two minutes later, a fifteen-year-old Korean boy leaves the apartment building. He's about average height, and is, to your dismay, five inches taller then you are. Fuuuuuuccckkkk. Anyway, he's got short dark brown hair that spikes up a bit in the back and he's wearing the dumbest glasses you have ever laid eyes on. They're like 3-D glasses, except they're round and not quite as retarded looking. They still make him look like a total douche though. Sollux grins at you, showing the awful train wreck that is his teeth. He has too many to fit right in his face, but his parents can't afford to take him to a fucking dentist. Which causes him to have the worst lisp of all time. "Hey, KK. What'th up?"

You roll your eyes, walking in the direction of school as you talk, "Oh, nothing, assmunch. Just the usual fucking shit on how my life is a living hell and my best friend is the most bipolar 'athhole' ever."

"Oh, right, becauthe my betht friend ith jutht a fucking ray of thunthine. He'th a total douthe and all he ever doeth ith complain and yell and curthe. You've got it eathy comparatively."

"At least I'm not a fucking recluse! All you ever do is dick around on the fucking computer all day!"

"Well at leatht I can hack. Your programming 'thkillth' are a fucking joke. Any time you attempt it, you break the computer you're working with and then I have to do damage control."

"Fuck you, I make viruses! I do it on purpose, you fuck face. And hey, you're a goddamn schizophrenic."

"Hey, KK? I know thith might come ath newth to you, but romcomth thuck major ath."

You glare at him, "Oh, fuck you! You just don't know quality movies when you see them, dumb shit!" You shove your hands into the pouch on your hoodie, glaring at everything. You can't really come up with anything to say back, since bringing up his lisp isn't even worth it. He's heard it all before, anyway, and you've heard all his insults before. This is just how the two of you are, you've been best friends and rivals for as long as you can remember. He's insufferable at times, but you hate to admit that you actually really enjoy being friends with him. The two of you can snark at each other, say anything, and you both know each other well enough by now to know that you don't actually mean it.

As you arrive at school, you look over at Captor, wondering why he suddenly got quiet. You notice the very subtle wincing that he's trying to hide and know immediately that it isn't just a mood swing that made him shut up. "You idiot, did you remember to take your shitty meds this time or were you too retarded as always?"

He winces again, looking at you from behind his shades and looking kind of pitiful, like he always does whenever he gets a migraine. "I'm fine, KK."

It's a lie, and you both know it. You're not about to let it go, either. "You're a shitty ass liar, you just forgot to take them this morning, didn't you?"

"Fuck off, KK, it'th not a big deal. I'm fine. Though, your voithe ithn't helping any. Tho thut up. At the very leatht talk quietly or thomething."

You glare, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him to the nurse's office. You've been there plenty of times last year, due to your random bouts of passing out and Captor's constant migraines. She knows the two of you personally. "As if that would make much of a fucking difference! Now come on, the nurse probably has medication for it or something."

After practically shoving Sollux into the nurse's office, you leave, not in any mood to actually stick around. The nurse would probably just bitch at you about how you haven't been sleeping properly, and you still have to figure out where your first class is. You're pretty fucking sure Captor can manage on his own after he gets his medication, anyway. Well, unless he's more retarded than you originally thought. Somehow, you wouldn't be surprised.

You pull your schedule out of your backpack, looking over it quickly. Your first period is Biology, so you head to that classroom, not in the mood to be late. You know you'll already have a shitty impression on the teacher, but at the very least she won't be able to yell at you for lateness.

As you enter the classroom, your heart stops. Fuck, fuck, life definitely hates you. You're over her, you tell yourself. You can't tell if it's the truth or a lie, though. The girl you USED to be madly in love with, Terezi Pyrope, is in your Biology class. You find yourself wishing you had waited for Captor, just so you would have someone else you know with you. You and Terezi dated during 8th grade. She was the first girl you ever kissed and she dumped you the summer of that year. Last year, it took just about all of the 9th grade for you to get the fuck over it. You thought the two of you would be together forever. Obviously, you won't be making the same mistake twice. You shouldn't have thought it would work out anyway. You're not good enough to be loved; you're just an ornery sack of shit. Anyway, you and Terezi are friends again, but you still feel weird around her. Not like, 'holy fuck she makes my heart beat faster, I want her to date me again,' kind of weird. But just... awkward. She doesn't have the same problem.

Terezi turns around, originally her back was towards you. She immediately gives you one of her insane smiles. Her dumb t-shirt has a dragon on it and she's wearing shorts as well. She practically runs over to you, wrapping her arms around your overly thin frame. "Karkles! I haven't seen you since the end of the year party!" She licks your face, giggling as you flip out and try to shove her away.

"What in the fuck, you psychotic bitch?!"

She pouts, tucking a strand of her reddish-brown hair behind her ears; her hair is on the shorter side, but it's also close to medium length. She's wearing red shades as always. Why the hell do all of your friends feel the need to wear douchey shades? "Sorry, just 'seeing' you~ You smell sooooo good, Karkles~" She practically drawls out.

You scowl as her seeing-eye dog, Lemonsnout, lets out a bark. Terezi's legally blind, which surprises most people. She doesn't act like she's blind, and there are times that you can SWEAR that she can see. You remember all the jokes Sollux and Vriska made at your expense, saying that only a blind person would want to date you anyway. You're relatively sure that they're right, even if Sollux didn't actually mean it.

"Soooo, where's Appleberry? I thought he was in this class too?"

You roll your eyes "That dumb fuck already has a shitty migraine. He's fucking retarded."

"Wow, already?" After saying that, she breaks out into another insane grin. You can tell that she's had some kind of idea, and you really don't want to hear about it.

"Karkles, we should be lab partners! Yanno, if we get to choose. Or we should do a group of three with Appleberry Blast! That'd be so awesome!" She gives you another lick, and you flinch away, shooting her another death glare.

She laughs in response "So? What do you think of us being partners?" She wiggles her eyebrows up and down at you, in a somewhat suggestive manner.

You just start rubbing your temples, glowering at her as you do so "I think I'd rather gouge my own eyes out. As if I'd want to go through the headache of being partnered with you for an ENTIRE godawful year of school. Fuck that. I seriously don't care who I end up being stuck with, but out of you and Sollux, I think I'd be better off with the lisping nerd."

"Aww, now I'm offended," she pouts. Though, after a few moments, she's buzzing over something else; you aren't surprised by this behaviour, she's always been way too energetic for her own good. "Anyway, we should compare schedules! I want to see if we have any other classes together~"

"Hopefully we don't. I don't think I can stand being stuck with you for more than forty minutes a day. You're so fucking annoying."

She sticks her tongue out at you in a childish manner; you ignore her in favor of retrieving your schedule from the depths of your backpack. You hand it off to her, knowing that she'll just say if anything is the same. When she breaks into one of her super insane grins, your heart drops. You can tell just by the look on her face that you've probably got an insanely high number of classes with her. Fuck your life. "Alright then! Obviously we've got Bio and the lab period together~ Fourth period we also have Algebra; hopefully we sit near each other since math classes are usually soooooo boring. And finally we've got lunch together at 7th~ Appleberry is in that period too, right?"

You scowl "Yes, he is. Great, the only sane person I'll be with during lunch is Kanaya. Fuck my entire existence. Whatever, it could've been worse; at least the spider bitch isn't going to be there. Not that I know her schedule, but I highly doubt we're all going to be in the same period for lunch. That'd be total bull shit." As you finish your sentence, the bell finally rings. You need to stop being early to classes, that was a longer conversation with Terezi than you can handle at this point. At the very least it was somewhat civil.

While you and Terezi had been speaking, other students had entered the classroom. You hadn't taken much notice, since you were busy. The teacher also entered the room, a rather strict looking woman; you hope she's not a total bitch, but you're pretty sure she will be. At least towards you. Teachers never seem to like you much, mostly because you're always really loud and are always cursing. You don't care enough to try to get them to like you either. As long as you're not failing, it really doesn't matter what the teacher thinks of you.

Terezi ends up taking a seat next to you, but you don't really care at this point. The teacher begins to drone on and on, giving the typical beginning of the year speech about rules and what will happen during the class. You find yourself tuning her out, just due to how many times you've heard shit like this. It's the same bull shit every single year, and really, you could care less.

Eventually, she regains your attention when she mentions that she'll now be assigning you all seats. Whomever you are stuck sitting next to will be your lab partner for the rest of the year. Here's hoping it's Captor. You might say that you don't care who you're partnered with, but you can't stand the idea of being with Terezi or with some random kid who will either hate you or be exceptionally annoying. With your luck though, you aren't about to keep your hopes up.

"Terezi Pyrope and Sollux Captor." Your heart sinks for the second time today, knowing that you will definitely be stuck with some random douche. You're not even surprised by this, you've always had shitty luck. They both take a seat where the teacher is pointing to. At least you'll get to talk to both of them in other classes. But a double period of Bio and Lab with some random douchenozzle definitely isn't a good start to this year.

Eventually, your name is called. "Karkat Vantas and John Egbert."

As you stand up to take your new seat, so does a kid with black messy hair. Jesus, it's almost as impossibly messy as your hair, but not quite. He's got dumb square glasses and as he sits down next to you, he gives you a bucktoothed smile. At least his teeth aren't as bad as Captor's. He greets you but you ignore him, not in the mood to make friends with this asshole or even bother to say hi.

The teacher drones on, and by the time she gets through the list, the bell has rung. Sadly, you all have to stay here though, due to the lab period which will begin in about five minutes.

The bucktoothed douche, what was his name, John? Yeah, John, turns his attention to you. "So, I guess we're stuck being lab partners, huh? Geez, I'm pretty excited for this class, I mean, I'm not as good at science as my friend, Jade, but biology is pretty cool! Anyway, it's nice to meet you, Karkat, right?"

You roll your eyes "No, that's obviously not my fucking name, despite the fact that the goddamn teacher called me that. My real name is Go Fuck Yourself." You flip him off to add emphasis to that last part.

He just laughs it off, the fucking idiot. "Wow, your parents must've hated you. Nah, but seriously, I know I've heard your name somewhere before... Hmmm.... do you know Rose?"

You scowl deeply, now you definitely don't want to get to know this dip shit. "Lalonde, you mean? Fuck, I hate her. She's always trying to psycho-analyze me or some bull shit just cuz the school assigned her to help me through some 'issues,'" you make sure to airquote that, "that I apparently have. It's total shit."

"Oh, Rose isn't too bad! Once you get past all the dumb big words she uses and her wizard obsession and the therapy thing. But yeah, I think she mentioned you a few times? I wasn't really paying too much attention though, sorry. I tune out most her psycho-babble."

You shoot him a glare "Either you are really dense, or you just can't read people very well. I don't think you understand that I do not want to talk to you. You annoy me and I hate you already."

"Wow, douche, we've only been talking five minutes. You can't just write me off yet. You're not exactly a walk in the park either."

"Yeah, really, KK, give him a break. He'th gonna be thtuck with you for an entire year, tho he theriouthly detherveth thome kind of contholation prithe for lothing tho magnifithiently."

John blinks, turning his attention to the lisping asshole known as Sollux. Terezi is next to him and grinning insanely. You just resist the urge to bang your head against these dumb counters that you're stuck sitting at. "Oh my fucking God, what do you two want? Can't you see my life is already on a one way trip to shitville? I don't need the two of you speeding things up."

Terezi laughs "We just wanted to meet your new friiiiieeeennnnndddd~ Karkles, he smells really good! I wonder if I can get a lick?"

You watch as the derp recoils a bit at that last part and you don't blame him. "Terezi, so help me God, I will fucking kill you if you do. It's bad enough you lick me twenty-four seven, there's no reason to ruin someone else's life with that shit. It's gross as hell."

Terezi just grins "Aww, Karkles, you know you love it~"

You turn your attention back to Sollux and John, but they've apparently started up a nerdfest of a conversation so you're stuck talking to Terezi for now. Fuck your life. Why doesn't your stupid best friend realize the shitfest that you've now been shoved into?

After suffering through an annoying conversation with your ex-girlfriend, where you mostly bitched at her and she teased you, the bell rings once again, starting up second period. You find your mind wandering to the romantic novel you were reading earlier, but you wouldn't dare start reading it in school. If anyone were to notice, they'd definitely make fun of you for it. And you seriously don't need to give people anymore fucking ammunition. It's not worth it, especially since you can just read more of it when you're supposed to be asleep.

Eventually, this period ends as well, and you head to third period, which is English. Or, to be more specific, American Literature and Composition. You can't bring yourself to give a flying fuck and the period passes by without too much happening. You have a male teacher who is a total douche and ends up giving you a detention on the first fucking day of school.

Your dad is going to kill you due to the fact that this will cause you to be late for work tomorrow. Thanks a lot, life.

Next is Algebra 2 which you have with Terezi. No one else you know is in this class. She ends up sitting directly behind you and spends the entire period poking you with her overly sharp pencil to get your attention before sending you dumb notes which you're forced to reply to. You learn absolutely nothing in this class. You're pretty sure you're going to fail math and it will be Terezi's fault. You can't bring yourself to care, either.

The bell rings again, signalling the end of fourth and soon the beginning of fifth. By this point, you've begun to regret skipping out on breakfast, but there's nothing you can do about it now. You just have to wait until seventh period. Hopefully you can last that long. Anyway, you head to your history class and end up running into your bucktoothed lab partner. No, not literally, that would be completely retarded of you.

You give him one of your trademark scowls "You have got to be shitting me."

He just laughs it off, grinning "Looks like we've got history together. Hey again, Karkat! Man, school is really boring, but it's not so bad if you know at least one person in your class, right?"

"Actually, I think it's five times shittier when I'm stuck with people I know. Mostly because everyone I know is either out of their goddamn mind or so gut-wrenchingly annoying that I just want to drop dead on the spot. You're in the latter category, so far, douchewad."

He rolls his blue eyes at you "At least I'm not unnecessarily pessimistic and bitchy towards everyone with a pulse. Maybe if you weren't such an asshole all the time, your friends would be easier to stand? Just a thought."

You glare at him, before he starts speaking again "Anyway, do you have any interesting classes? I've got gym this semester and I have French which is a total drag. I think my only good classes are Bio and this one music class I'm taking."

"Do I look like I give an airborne fuck? Seriously, do you ever shut your gibbering facegash or-"

And the asshole starts laughing his ass off at you "Oh my God, Karkat, I can't even take you seriously when you use words like that. I have never heard anyone say 'gibbering facegash' with a straight face before! Or at all."

You scowl at him once again "I am not here for your goddamn entertainment, Egbert. Your sense of humor is shittier than Captor's lisp."

"Captor?"

"Sollux. You know, that douchey looking kid in our Bio class? The one you were having a nerdy conversation with."

He blinks, before understanding hits him "Oooohhh, right. Yeah. He's in my English class too. He said that you had programming this year and were gonna ruin all the computers with your 'thhity programming thkillth.' Or something like that."

That definitely sounds like something Captor would say. You can feel your face going red with rage "I make viruses! They're supposed to ruin computers! Don't listen to that lisping assface, he doesn't know what he's talking about!"

Just then, the bell rings and you find yourself going through history class in a mode of excessive boredom. After this, you have programming where, as Captor foretold, you make a massive buttflip of the computer you're working with. The teacher ends up calling in Sollux, he's literally the tech support for the entire school; it's a wonder he ever gets any actual school work done, and said lisping dick makes fun of you the entire time he's fixing the computer. Lucky bastard got out of math to do his two favorite things in the world. Messing with computers and making your life more of a hell than it already is.

He leaves once it's fixed though and the teacher makes sure to keep a close eye on you for the rest of the period. Eventually, this hell ends and it's time for lunch. Thank God. No wait, scratch that, don't thank that fucker. For you, there is no God. But enough about that, religion is about as stupid as school. Both piss you off.

You enter the hellhole known as the cafeteria. It is packed to the brim with overly loud highschoolers and the sound is deafening. You're pretty sure Sollux will eventually give up on hanging around in here and just spend time in the computer classroom like last year. He's seriously the biggest nerd you've ever met, but for some reason, the two of you still hang out.

You look around for signs of your so called 'friends' since sitting by yourself would be even worse than being stuck with them.

After looking lost for a few minutes, you feel someone put a hand on your shoulder and practically jump in surprise. "What in the fuck?!" You practically shout as you turn around. You're immediately greeted by the sight of one of your best friends, Kanaya Maryam. She doesn't look very impressed by your reaction.

"Hello, Karkat," she says, hands on her hips. She's wearing one of her pretty dresses but you don't care for fashion whatsoever so there's no point describing it. "That was quite the reaction, I must admit. You've always been quite jumpy though, so I'm not really surprised."

You roll your eyes "You could've just said hi or something, you didn't have to scare the shit out of me or anything."

"It is not my fault you are so easily startled, Karkat." She calmly states as she looks you up and down, grimacing in distaste at your outfit. "By the way, what happened to the clothing I decided on for you for the first day of school? Were you not satisfied with my choices or do you just blatantly not give a shit about the state of your attire? Your current outfit is absolutely attrocious."

Before you can respond, you hear an insane laugh "Aww, Karkat, you still need your 'mom' to pick out your clothes? That's soooooooo sweet. Hey, Kanaya."

You instantly scowl, your anger boiling over. You had been hoping Serket wouldn't be in lunch this period, but apparently life likes to screw you the hell over, so here she is. She's the biggest bitch you've ever met and for some reason Kanaya enjoys spending time with her. Also, she hit a very sore spot just now. But never mind that, it's not important anyway. She's a bluh bluh huge bitch and you just want to leave now. "I didn't realize the school enrolled insects. Go the fuck away, spider bitch. Don't you have better things to do than harass me?"

"While I do have better things to do than bother with pathetic loooooooosers like yourself, Vantas, I figured I'd spend my lunch with Kanaya, so we're stuck with each other. So, how's the suicide watch?"

You almost forgot how much Serket had pissing you off to a science. Jesus fucking Christ, you can't stand her. You grit your teeth about to go off on her when Kanaya interrupts. "Can you both relax? If you keep this up, I won't spend time with either of you and I'll just use my senior priviledges to spend time with Miss Lalonde at a nearby restaurant."

You glare "She started it," is your reply but once you say it, you know it was an excessively childish thing to say.

"No way, it is not my fault that you make it too easy to mess with you, Vantas. It's not my fault it's so much fuuuuuuuun to piss you off."

Kanaya rolls her eyes, looking rather exasperated already "I do not care who started it, nor do I care about if it brings you enjoyment to harass Karkat, Vriska. If you don't leave things well enough alone, I will leave. Really, you are both such children."

"Fine," is your short response as you shoot a nasty glare at the spider bitch.

She shrugs it off, rolling her eyes "Alright, whatever, Kanaya. There's plenty of time to annoy him later, anyway."

Now that this meaningless conversation has ended, the three of you find a table to sit at. Sollux shows up for a little while but eventually leaves due to yet another godawful migraine. You're not surprised. Terezi also shows up and now she and Vriska are entrenched in one of their extremely annoying conversations. Kanaya managed to flag down Rose, so they're talking. You're just eating your shitty lunch made by the cafeteria. At this point, you're surprised you're even still alive, this stuff is practically poison with how terrible it is.

You are eventually saved from your state of boredom when you hear a voice behind you say, "Hey, Kar."

The owner of said voice takes a seat beside you and a bubbly female sits across from the two of you. You roll your eyes "You're fucking late, dude. I've been dying of boredom surrounded by these dull fucktards. What took so long?"

"Nothin, I just had some trouble findin' the table is all. Turns out Fef is in this period too, isn't that awwesome?"

You resist the urge to grimace at his stupid accent. Eridan has always had this annoying habit of doubly pronouncing all 'w's and pronouncing his 'v's like singular 'w's. It's shitty and literally everyone makes fun him for it. He does it anyway.

Feferi smiles at you "So, how has your day been so far, Crabcakes~?"

"Shitty. It's school, douchenozzle, it's always gonna be godawful."

She pouts "Aww, don't be such a stick in the mud, Karcrab! You need to stop being so pessimistic all the time! Maybe if you looked on the bright side, things wouldn't seem so terrible!"

Eridan rolls his eyes "There is no fuckin' bright side, Fef, that's the problem. Wwe'we all got shitty ass liwes an' there ain't nothin' to be so happy about."

"I wasn't talking to you, anyway, Eridan! And that's sooooo mean! Things aren't that bad, you're just too negative. By the way, where's Sollux? I wanted to see him! Maybe he'll be willing to hang out afterschool instead."

You note the way Eridan grits his teeth and instantly feel bad for him. He's been in love with his best friend, Feferi, for years and she's never returned his feelings. She's more interested in Captor and she's always talking to Eridan about Sollux. It doesn't help the two of them can't stand each other. "That fuckass is probably at the programming room. You know he can't stand how godawfully loud the cafeteria is. His aural canals are too sensitive or some shit." It's a lie, but only you know it. The migraines aren't just caused by the sound alone, but it obviously doesn't help. It just tends to make Sollux's headaches worse.

Eventually, it is time to leave the cafeteria and head to class. By the end of the period, Eridan has convinced you to promise him that you'll both hang out sometime this week, probably the day after tomorrow. It would've just been tomorrow, but you have detention. Which is bullshit but whatever.

Anyway, your next period is Health, which is probably the most useless and boring class you have ever taken. It passes extremely uneventfully and you are surrounded by brainless assholes in this class. Just your luck. After this, you have German 2. In this class, you meet a rather annoying girl by the name of Jade. The teacher makes the two of you conversational partners. Actually, the teacher gives everyone at least one partner for the sake of practicing speaking the language in class. You can tell just by looking at the girl that she's a freshman and actually, you recall John mentioning a girl by the name of Jade. Maybe she's the same person? Oh wait, you can't bring yourself to care.
Either way, school eventually ends and you find yourself almost sighing with relief before you realize that you are now stuck walking home and then working at the shitty video store you live in. Oh joy.

When you get home, you head upstairs, shouting to your dad "I'm home you fucking dip shit!" and then proceed to throw your shit onto your bed. You then head back downstairs and grab something to eat before taking your usual spot behind the register. You usually spend your days either taking care of stuff behind the register or putting videos back on their proper shelves whenever anyone returns anything. There usually aren't many customers though, since everyone would rather order videos online or use youtube to watch things. Your dad has another job that usually starts up in the evenings and he'll leave you fully in charge of this place until closing. It's a huge responsibility and you hate it. You hate the customers who bitch about just about any tiny detail being out of place and the stuck up people who think they know better than you just because you're a teenager. Morons. It's almost saddening just how retarded most adults can be. It no longer surprises you though.

You're sort of glad when this excessively dull and awful day ends, but you can't sleep as always, so you just end up hanging around in your room, reading that same romance novel from this morning. You'll probably do this until tomorrow begins. Or you'll stop reading after a while and peruse the internet. Whatever occupies your attention well enough. You find yourself wondering if anything different or remotely interesting will happen this school year, but quickly throw out that train of thought. It will be just like every other year. Full of stupid drama and annoying people who you are forced to put up with on a regular basis.

Chapter Text

‘Dawn of the second day, 48 hours remain,’ you think to yourself, smirking. Video game references aside, you quickly turn off your screaming alarm clock. You suffice a yawn before rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Drowsiness has gotten the best of you, but it’s only the second day of school. You’ll get used to the schedule of things soon enough.

You take a quick shower to refresh yourself and it fully awakens you. After this, you get dressed, putting on a lavender short-sleeved shirt and a black skirt. Before putting on a black headband, you make sure to blowdry your short blonde hair. You take a look at yourself in the mirror and begin to put on your purple eyeshadow, mascara, and finally, your signature black lipstick. You always make sure to wake up early enough so that you have enough time to fully ready yourself for the day without worrying about being late for school. Seeing as you have a few moments before you need to be downstairs, you take some time to make funny faces at your reflection just for the fun of it.

You eventually leave the haven that is your room, making sure to grab one of your fanfiction notebooks with you. Perhaps you’ll get the chance to write about Zazzerpan’s adventures during the course of the school day.

As you enter the kitchen, you can hear your mother vacuuming elsewhere in the house. She’s always cleaning, or at least pretending to. You make certain to feed your wonderful cat, Jaspers, before noticing the full plate of pancakes at the table. There’s a note next to them. It basically tells you that your mother bothered to make you breakfast and hopes that you have a great day at school.

It seems like it’s time for another passive-aggressive war between you two. You will not be outdone. You ponder for a moment on how to return this passive-aggressive gesture. After a moment or two of thinking, you start to make some coffee. Hopefully it goes well enough with the breakfast theme of this war. While it’s being made, you get a coffee mug out of one o the cupboards. It says ‘Best Mom’ on it. Perfect. Once the coffee is done, you pour it into the mug and set it on the table for your mother. You’re not sure if she even likes coffee, but there always seems to be a supply of it in the house. Sometimes, when you’re really tired, you’ll drink some to wake up. At this point, you’re fine without it. Anyway, you pull out some paper and a purple pen and begin to draft a note for your mother to go with your passive-aggressive gift of coffee.

‘Mother. Thank you very much for the pancakes, they were absolutely delicious. I wanted to return your kind gesture, so I made you some coffee. I would have done more, but I don’t wish to be late for school. I hope you enjoy it none-the-less.

RL’

You hope that will suffice for now. You’re almost giddy with anticipation for her next move. For now, though, you eat the pancakes your mother left for you while Jaspers snuggles up against your legs.

When you finish eating, you pet Jaspers before heading out of your overly large house. You smirk, getting into your car. You didn’t realize just how amazing it would be to have both your license and a car until you received both. It gives you quite the sense of freedom, you must admit.

You head to Kanaya’s house, which is actually just her mother’s hobby shop. You love it there, since there are plenty of crocheting supplies. Also, Kanaya is a lovely friend. She still can’t seem to grasp the concept of sarcasm, though. You’re pretty sure she’ll get it eventually.

You watch as Kanaya leaves the hobby shop, gracefully walking toward your car. She’s in a beautiful sleeveless red dress with a v-neck and black designs on it. It has a black belt with the Virgo symbol on it as well. She’s in matching black shoes and you’re relatively certain she designed the entire outfit herself. She’s an aspiring fashion designer and you wouldn’t be surprised if she almost instantaneously became famous once she debuts some of her finest work.

Kanaya opens the passenger side and sits down next to you. You smile at her, “Hello, Kanaya. Did you make that wonderful dress?”

“But, of course. You should come over afterschool. I made you one or two outfits,” is her reply as she smiles at you. “How was your morning, anyway? Any more passive-aggressive shenanigans I should know about?”

You put on a look of mock offense even going so far as to suffice a gasp, “Me? Have passive-aggressive shenanigans with my drunken mother? Never.”

Kanaya frowns, trying not to look puzzled before realization hits her. “Oh. You’re being sarcastic again. I should have known. I believe it’s a bit too early for such things…”

You laugh as you drive to the school, resisting the urge to turn to Kanaya as you proceed to tell her about your morning. She pretends to be surprised at your newest passive-aggressive war with your mother. It’s always enjoyable spending time with Kanaya, you must admit.

As the two of you grab your things and head into the school, you notice an 11th grade coolkid leaning against the building. He’s wearing his trademark Ben Stiller shades and he looks as ginger and “ironic” as always. You make a beeline for him and smirk as he nods at you in greeting, trying desperately to appear cool. In your opinion he’s already failing miserably. “Hey there, Strider. Shouldn’t you be heading to class?”

“Well, yanno, class can fuckin’ wait until after I’m done doing the coolkid bit. You know, gotta slouch against a wall just right, stare at absolutely nothing while the ladies walking by swoon, thinking that I’m looking right at them when I literally couldn’t care less. How’s the whole ‘I’m not dating Kanaya’ thing going along cuz it sure looks like the two of you are lesbianing it up. Coming to school together and everything like hell.”

Your lips quirk up into a sly smile as you respond, “Well, it’s going just fine. Later we’ll go on a no-homo picnic and hold hands while staring deeply into each others’ eyes. The sexual tension will eat away at our very souls but we will not kiss for that would breach into homo territory and, oh no, we can’t have that. Now that we’ve been through my “deal” how about we talk about your Freudian slips and how your sexuality could be inferred by your statement about not caring about ladies.”

You watch as Dave’s shades slip down his nose as he turns his face downwards a bit to look at you incredously. You love bothering him like this “Oh no. Oh fuck no we are not getting into this. I’m not into sausages and you know it. Not everything I say is a Freudian slip. Jesus fucking dicks I can’t even have a conversation with you without you trying to psychoanalyze me.”

“You’re being defensive, Strider. Perhaps you are in denial?” You tap your foot for a few moments before adding “And while I’d love to psycho-analyze all of your speech and actions just to write an essay on the glorious Dave Strider, I have to head to class. I’ll see you another time. Perhaps we can talk about the rumors I’ve been hearing about you bleating like a goat on the first day of school for the ironies next time?”

After your somewhat brief conversation with Strider, you and Kanaya make your way to French class. You just so happen to be in your fifth year of taking this particular language, so you’re quite well-versed in it. Two of your friends also take French, but one of them is in a lower level of it. You tend to help him whenever he gets particularly confused, but not without teasing the poor 10th grader first. Obviously the other person you know that takes this class is Kanaya. Both of you are quite good at it by now, and sometimes you study together.

This particular class goes by rather uneventfully and you find yourself biding Kanaya adieu before heading to 2nd period. This class just so happens to be History and sadly there is no one you really know in this class, so it also passes by in a boring manner. You, of course, take a good amount of notes on the subject. You aren’t about to do poorly in a class just because you find it to be a bit dull. The teacher has this dreadful habit of talking in monotone, making everything sound ridiculously boring.

Next up is English class. One of the other seniors that you sort of associate with, Aradia Megido, is in this period. You don’t really talk to her much, but you’re on that acquaintance basis where you greet each other and then do your own thing after the typical ‘hi, how are you’s are completed. She smiles at you when she enters the classroom, wearing a white button downed short sleeved shirt and a dark red skirt today. Her hair is a mess as per usual and she waves “Hi, Rose! Anything interesting happen to you yesterday?”

You shrug in a nonchalant manner “Not really. Just a typical first day of school and a few passive-aggressive shenanigans with my mother. Nothing particularly intriguing or new. What about you?”

“Well, I didn’t get to do too much yesterday, but this weekend I’m going to another archaelogical dig! Isn’t that awesome? I’m really excited for it and I’m hoping to convince Sollux to come with me.”

You nod “Good luck with that. I don’t know how you manage to get Sollux away from his computer for more than five seconds though.” You’ve always found her obsession with archaelogy and corpses to be rather endearing.

She laughs “It’s pretty difficult, I must admit. But I’ve got ways to make him listen to me. How’s the psycho-babble stuff?”

“It’s fine. I heard from one of the teachers that Karkat has already received a detention, so I’ll have to stay after school with him today. It’ll be a good chance to see how well he’s been dealing with his insomnia and how his summer has been. It’s rather difficult getting him to talk to me about his issues, though. He’s quite the stubborn boy.”

Aradia laughs once again, giving you a big smile “Well, I’m sure you’ll find ways to get him to talk~ Good luck though!”

You nod in response and thank her before the bell rings and English class begins. The period races by completely uneventfully after your conversation with Aradia and after this you enjoy Psychology and then you go to Gym and Math afterwards.

Next up is Lunch. You quietly debate whether or not you’ll spend the period with Kanaya or go seek out your other group of friends. After a few moments of thinking on it, you decide to just spend it with John, Dave and Jade. You can spend time with Kanaya tomorrow, after all. As you approach their table, Dave makes a big deal out if it, which doesn’t surprise you in the least.

“Oh, looks like Rose has decided to grace us with her presence today. To what do we owe the honor, Miss Lalonde?”

You smirk, taking a seat next to your pseudo-sibling “I just figured it would be a crime to deprive you all of some time with me. So, how have you all been? Jade, how is highschool treating you so far?”

Jade smiles “Oh, it’s been great so far! I got sort of lost yesterday, but I’ll figure out my way around soon enough. So how have you be-“

You roll your eyes as John interrupts Jade’s last sentence to ask you a question “Sooooo, Rose, did you propose to Kanaya yet? Or are you and her still not a thing?”

“How rude, interrupting Jade for such a lame question. No, Kanaya and I are not dating as of yet. How are things between you and Dave? Have the both of you kissed yet? Or are you both still denying your blatantly obvious amorous feelings for each other?” You don’t actually think they’ll ever date, but poking fun at them on the subject is always rather enjoyable.

John and Dave simultaneously turn red and you and Jade both laugh at their obvious embarassment. You almost forgot how enjoyable things were when all four of you are together. You’ll make sure not to forget such a thing in the future. You all continue to tease each other throughout the entire period and you are more than a little disappointed when the period ends. You make a mental note to swap off every other day between what table you sit at, since you still want to spend time with Kanaya at lunch on certain days.

Next you have Study Hall, since you don’t have a lab period today. You basically spend the entire period working on your wizard fanfiction. After this, you have Science with Equius. He’s rather interesting to talk to and he just so happens to be your lab partner for this year. He can be a bit odd though and appears to always be sweating. Which, you must admit, is rather gross. But, you aren’t one to judge someone by something like that. You don’t really get much of a chance to speak with him today though, so the period goes by in an exceptionally dull manner.

The final bell just can’t seem to ring fast enough, but once it does, you’re shoving all your books into your messenger style bag and you immediately leave the classroom, waving goodbye to Zahhak as you go. You note that he begins to sweat even more when you do and you try not to be disgusted by that. Either way, it is now time for you to engage in one of your favorite past-times! Psycho-analyzation. You should feel bad for enjoying it whenever Vantas gets a detention, but you just can’t help yourself. You just love picking apart people’s psyches way too much and he’s such a perfect opportunity for it.

You head for the cafeteria, which is where detentions are usually held and spot the demon boy after a few moments in the senior area of the cafeteria. Most detentions are carried out in the normal cafeteria but the teachers already know that Karkat serves them here, with you, after he got put on suicide watch. He threatens suicide a lot, you’ve noticed, but he’s never gone through with it. You’re not actually sure if he would, either. Probably not, you silently muse to yourself.

You take a seat across from the glaring demon and smile “Hello, Karkat. You already managed to get a detention? It’s only the second day of school, you know.”

“It’s not my fault that my English teacher is a piece of fucking shit that was just looking for a reason to hand out a detention. I bet he can’t even teach and hates people in general. Now my dad is going to murder me when I get home for being late to work. By the way, I’m not dealing with your psychotic bull shit today, go make someone else your pet project.”

“I’m here to help you, Karkat, not use you as a project. How can you expect me to assist you with your personal issues if you won’t actually talk to me? Have you been sleeping properly as of late? Or do you still have that dreadful insomnia? Judging from the bags under your eyes, you still have it. Perhaps if you told me why you have this issue, we can fix it?”

He scowls at you and you let out an exasperated sigh. He’s in a more difficult mood today. Some days it’s easy to get information out of him, because he wants someone to dump his shit on. Obviously today is not one of those days. Then again, he always clams up whenever the reason behind his insomnia comes up. Or when you ask him about anything to do with his family. There are other topics he won’t breach with you, like when you subtly try to get him to actually tell him what he is. Obviously you already know that he isn’t human but that’s mainly because of the nature of your own abilities. But that’s extremely understandable, almost everyone you know is wary of telling others about what they are or what they can do.

“Lalonde, I don’t care how much you pretend to actually give a flying fuck about my life or my problems; I’m NOT talking to you about this. My insomnia and my shitty fucking life are none of your goddamn business and I for one am not about to be your fucking experiment project of all things psycho-babble. I’m sick and tired of this shit, I’m sick of suicide watch and I’m sick of getting detention at least once a goddamn week! I always end up with some teacher that can’t seem to give me a goddamn break because oh, I don’t know, sometimes I explain to them exactly why they’re fucking morons and can’t actually teach properly and because I’m RIGHT they can’t handle it and punish me in some manner! If they did their jobs properly, this wouldn’t have to be a thing and maybe if my life wasn’t such godawful shit, I wouldn’t be stuck on this suicide watch but no Serket just loves to make my life even more of a living hell than it has to be!”

You take a copious amount of notes as he rants, making sure to get anything important that he said written down “Mm-hmm. I can understand your disdain for Serket, I don’t enjoy her presence much either. Anyway, I think if we build off of all the things you just brought up, we can make some progress today.”

“Oh my fucking shit you are NOT psycho-analyzing what I just said! I can’t even fucking talk without it being picked apart by you, this is such bull shit! I’d say more, but you’ll just end up writing something down about that too!”

You sigh and decide that today just isn’t a day for progress. It’s one of those days. But there will be other days to get him to talk and one day you will figure out what makes him tick and how you can actually help him out. Kanaya sometimes gives you hints on how to make him tell you things, since he talks to her about almost everything. Speaking of which… “Alright, fine. I can see you just aren’t in any sort of mood to talk about your problems so let’s talk about something else. We’ve still got time before the detention is over, so we might as well spend it doing something. How are things with your friends?”

He looks at you suspiciously for a moment before responding in a begrudging tone “Captor’s fine, but he’s still getting a shit ton of migraines. Those won’t ever go away though, but he needs to stop forgetting to take his medication before I strangle him for being such a complete retard. You know very well how Kanaya is, you hang out with her all the time. But she’s fine and…” He whispers this next part, knowing that both of you know about what Kanaya is, “there’s no need to worry about her feeding. If I remember correctly she swaps off between us? She fed off me last time, so I think it’ll be your turn soon. Am I the only one who feels really faint after every time? Maybe that’s just because I can’t stand the sight of fucking blood. Especially my own.” He pulls away from you, looking rather embarassed about having shared that last part. You smirk, making sure to keep that in mind but you don’t write it down since you don’t want him to complain about it. “No, I believe that’s normal. I get that feeling as well.” Really, Kanaya is the only reason Karkat is ever civil around you. The both of you are actually very nice to each other whenever she comes up, even if Karkat is semi-begrudging about it.

Kanaya is lucky though, she’s a daywalker vampire, which means that she can actually go out in the sun. It’s an excessively rare type of vampire. They’re fine both during the day and at night, which is rather amazing. You hadn’t heard of it until you met Kanaya. You’re relatively sure Karkat already knew about that sort of thing though, since vampires are a type of demon and he should know plenty about his own kind. You’ve never seen Karkat’s true form though, and you’re quite interested in seeing it. Ah well. Anyway, so after that, Karkat continues “Eridan is okay too, and as always he’s got the shit with Feferi going on. Do you know how fucking annoying it is watching two of your best friends fight just because of a girl? It’s bull shit. Captor doesn’t even know that Feferi likes him. But anyway, I’m going to be hanging out with Ampora later this week. Oh right and Gamzee continues to be a completely stoned shithead 24/7. Are we done yet? Have I spilled enough about my life to please you, oh magnificient therapist?”

You smile slightly “Yes, I believe that is enough. I’ll talk to the teachers in charge of detention and you can leave. You’re lucky, you’re getting out of detention early today. I’ll see you tomorrow at lunch.”

Karkat just glares at you and leaves “Whatever, bye.”

You shrug before grabbing your things and talking to one of the teachers. After that, you take your leave and drive back to your lovely home. Your mother is probably getting even more drunk by now and you spend the rest of your day finishing up your homework and then working on your lovely writing. All in all, this day has been alright. Perhaps tomorrow will be even more interesting?