I sit at the vanity in the Capitol dressing room, staring into my stormy gray eyes, accentuated by heavy black eyeliner. My lips are blood red, apparently sensual to these people. My hair is down in soft, messy curls, making it almost look like I just got out of bed from a crazy night after a rather high-class party.
I stand and move toward the plush couch where my outfit lays, a long red silk robe covering my naked body. The sight of the small piece of clothing makes me feel ill. It is a black mesh and lace teddy, and very see-through. The bra portion will only cover half of my chest, as well as pushing it out as much as possible, and there are garters hanging from small bows at the bottom. Next to the teddy is a pair of black stockings, and then a pair of black leather heeled boots on the floor.
I startle when a loud knock on the door sounds. "You've got ten minutes!"
I take in a shaky breath and drop my robe, and grab the barely-there lingerie to slip up my body. The lace is slightly uncomfortable, but I suck it up as I put on the stockings and hook them, then zip the boots up. It's easier to walk in boots with heels than regular heels; offers more stability.
I walk over to the mirror and stare at myself; a woman I don't recognize stares back. I'm oozing sex appeal, without even trying, because let's face it: I have no charm. Not like Peeta.
Peeta. He's probably in his own dressing room, in the same state as me. Shock. Nerves. Fear.
Peeta is a virgin, I know this for sure. The only people we have ever kissed are each other, and that was during our time in the Hunger Games. Now we're stuck…here, in this place, and there's no way out. After all, being Star-Crossed Lovers must have a catch.
Another knock sounds. "Let's go!"
I take a deep, shaky breath and make my way to the door, opening it slowly. There are two peacekeepers at the door, and I ignore their eyes moving up and down my body. I feel a little better when I hear his voice, and the nerves shoot back up when I finally see him.
He's only clad in a pair of very tight leather pants; so tight, that everyone can see everything. I keep my eyes on his face as I slowly make my way over to him, glad the peacekeepers have stopped following me. "Peeta?"
He turns to me with hollow eyes, which widen when he takes me in. A blush covers his cheeks as he looks back into my eyes and when he notices my fear he forces his own down, a reassuring smile growing on his lips as he lays a hand on my shoulder, rubbing small circles with his thumb. The smile is shaky.
I blink and open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. His eyes are understanding, and the smile drops. Both of us don't know what to do, but the consequences for not following orders are much worse.
I look up when I hear a door open, and see it was the one that leads to the stage. I swallow when I see the banner above the bed. Star-Crossed Lovers: A Night of Passion.
Citizens of the Capitol have actually paid to see us have sex. I learned soon after we were told of this that Finnick Odair was in a similar situation, only he was solicited for sex to random customers. Apparently there are more victors in that situation, but we are the first for this. I guess no one wanted to taint our love, so they'd rather watch us consummate it, instead.
A man with a headset leads us to the door, and I hear Peeta breath heavily beside me. We're both caught, not sure how to even start this. They force him to take a pill, probably since they know it would be hard for him to become aroused in front of an audience. One glance down at his slowly growing front shows that it's not small, either. Very far from.
I shudder, knowing it's supposed to hurt the first time. My virginity will be taken in front of all of these people. People who have apparently paid big bucks to see; over 500,000 dollars. "Peeta-"
"I know." He grabs my hand and squeezes, leading me out slowly to the stage.
The uproar is instant. I take a chance and look out at the crowd; the room is actually quite small for the Capitol, and seems to only seat approximately one hundred; that must be why we're booked so many times.
I feel my knees bump into something soft, and I look down to see the bed. Red satin sheets cover it, and when I sit down the mattress is the most comfortable I have ever felt. I gasp when I feel Peeta lay me down, pulling my legs up on the bed, and lean over me.
He leans in close, next to my ear, and whispers, "Ignore them. Act like we are back in one of our rooms, that it's just us." He kisses right below my ear; a soft kiss.
I suppose this should give me some comfort, but truth is that I'm still confused as to what I feel for Peeta. I realize, though, that if I were to be in this situation with anyone, I would want it to be him. I nod and close my eyes, trying to drown out the dying down cheers. Good. That will make it easier to pretend.
I hear a zipper and open my eyes to see Peeta leaning back on his haunches, unzipping one of my boots. I'm grateful; they were starting to hurt my feet. When I realize it is one less thing he has to remove my gratefulness dwindles. I close my eyes again and breath out, trying to do what he said. Pretend it's just us. There's no one else here.
He was apparently instructed to leave the stockings on, because when he undoes the garter he moves to take off the teddy instead. I shudder; the whole room will see me naked. I was uncomfortable to see Peeta when he was almost dead, and now I need to find some way to relax at the knowledge of around a hundred Capitol citizens seeing me bare.
Peeta leans down and kisses down my neck as he slowly pulls it off; small, soft kisses of apology. He has to know it's not his fault, though; none of this is our faults. I run my fingers through his hair to assure him that I don't blame him; to try and calm him like he is with me.
I'm only in the stockings and I shiver from the coolness of the room. I open my eyes to see Peeta on his knees looking down at me. He looks at my eyes, then to his pants, and I get the message. I'm supposed to undress him, now. It wouldn't be a good show without us sharing the work. I sit up slowly, making a point to not look anywhere near the crowd, and reach out to undo his zipper. He gasps, but I know it's in arousal from how I had to rub against his erection to get them undone.
He looks up at me with shame, but I shake my head. This is what they want; this is what we have to do. The more genuine it is, the better.
My eyes widen when I take him in. The only times I have ever seen this part of a man was when my mother was healing them, and I'd always leave the room before I saw too much. I don't know what to do from here, and look up at Peeta with wide eyes. What now?
He senses my uncertainty, so he takes over. He pushes me back onto the bed gently and crawls on top of me. I shiver when I feel him against my inner thigh. I close my eyes and let my head fall back when I feel his finger rub me, my breaths deeper than before.
I gasp when I feel his finger inside of me, gripping the sheets in my fingers. I never realized something could feel so good. All I have to do is concentrate on this, on how good it is, and then maybe I'll make it through. Another finger is entered, making me moan and writhe against his hand. It's embarrassing, really, but I know it's what they want. Thank god for that, too, because it's hard to keep in.
His fingers are removed some time later, and when I crack my eyes open I see him position himself between my legs, making my eyes widen. This is it. My first time is about to come, and it's in the last way I'd ever want it.
I force myself to close my eyes again, and the next thing I feel is full. He inside, thankfully slowly, and I'm surprised that it doesn't hurt as much as I thought. That's when I realize what the foreplay was for. I remember being told before-hand, from an unknown woman a few days before, that it hurts less when prepared other ways. He was trying to loosen me up a bit. I wish I could thank him.
"Oh, Katniss…" He's breathing heavily as he pushes inside of me, and I notice that small moans have been coming out of my mouth with every thrust. I'm ashamed, but at least it's him that's making me feel this way. Just another act for the audience, that's all.
This seems to last a lot longer than his first time should, which means those pills were for more than just to cause an erection. The audience needed to get what they paid for, after all.
This is from somewhere in the crowd, and small cheers come after. I feel Peeta lean in closer to me, kissing my cheek. "I'm so sorry."
He's pushing harder, and there's a fire in me that is growing. My back is arching against him as he takes a nipple between his teeth and then I'm pushed over, crying out in the immense pleasure that comes over me.
He's groaning loudly seconds later, gripping my arms tightly, and then falls on top of me. We're both sweaty and gasping for air as the crowd goes wild, and then it's dark. I look out to see that the curtains had been drawn, finally separating us from them.
"All right, come on. We have another show tonight." The same man from before is pulling Peeta off of me, and then grabs my arm to force me off.
"Claudia! Take them to their room. They'll be staying there until the next show. And bring them their new outfits, too!"
A woman with deep red hair, done in a crop-cut, and dramatic makeup not unlike mine motions for us to follow her out and down a hall, until we're at a set of double doors at the end. She tells the peacekeeper guarding the door to open them and allow us in, and then she grabs some things from the closet and throws them down on the bed on the other side of the room.
I watch as she walks out and the doors close behind her, the sound of a lock clicking. When I am certain we are alone, I break down on the ground, Peeta's arms around me.