EB: okay so,
EB: i guess i start by kissing you kind of lightly.
EB: (on the mouth!! in case that wasn't obvious.)
TT: (Thanks for the clarification, for a second I was worrying your delicate lips might have found your way to my eyeballs.)
TT: I kiss back, a little not-so-lightly.
TT: My hands may or may not migrate towards the back pockets of your trousers.
EB: well in that case my hands totally go in for your back pockets as well! miss smarty seer.
EB: and by back pockets i mean your back parts.
EB: that is to say, um
EB: your butt.
TT: Oh my.
TT: I dare say I may have been struck by a case of the vapors.
TT: I fear I might be in for a swoon.
EB: oh no!!!
EB: luckily i am there to pull off a sweet catch.
EB: which i do.
TT: Lucky me.
EB: i mean, i smile. because i am there where you are right now and i am not forgetting i can't use emoticons irl. (sorry.)
TT: (It's fine.)
EB: uhhhh so then i sort of
EB: lay you down
EB: on any sort of bed-esque object that might be near by.
TT: I raise my eyebrows at you from my position on said bed-esque object.
TT: The look on my face seems to inquire "What now? Is he planning to take the lead?" In any case, I slide my sweater down slightly in order to expose my delicate shoulder blades, along with a peek of the straps of my black brassiere.
EB: oh geez
EB: i mean, i say 'oh geez'.
EB: so i lay down with you.
EB: or, on you i guess. i'm above you. and i grin down at you, because you look so cute like that.
EB: er, or beautiful i guess
EB: i mean not i guess!!!!! i know!
EB: ughhhh. just say something.
EB: uh hello, rose?
TT: Sorry, someone was bothering me.
TT: I stroke you from your chest down to your belly. As I do so I smile back up at you. Possibly because you are very endearing, and charming, and maybe just a bit handsome.
TT: My hand comes to rest between your thighs.
EB: well i kind of jump at that a bit! because i really wasn't expecting it.
EB: but it's a good kind of not-expecting. it feels good.
EB: uuuhhh so i wiggle my eyebrows at you and say
EB: "i hope you're in the mood for sausage."
EB: oh godfgg no no no no do over
EB: i'm sorry oh jesus that was awful
EB: i say "before you ask, it's not a gun. i'm just happy to see you."
EB: (ugggh sorry i suck at this)
EB: . . .
EB: . . .
EB: rose come on!! i wasn't that bad!
EB: come on don't leave me hanging! this was your idea!
EB: okay if you don't respond in ten seconds i'm gonna start motorboating you and when you come back i won't do anything but that!
EB: i'm totally going to do it!
----carcinoGeneticist [CG] has entered the chat----
EB: i stick my face between your boobs. i make a super gross sound and begin motorboating you like my life depends on it. i am in boobtown, population me.
EB: pbpbpbppbpAPUKGDSYHDSKJSHNFDKJ UO HMY GOD
EB: KARKAT WHAT THE FUCK
CG: OH YES, ASK ME THAT LIKE I'M THE ONE AT FAULT HERE.
EB: OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PRIVATE CHAT!!!!!!!
CG: WELL APPARENTLY SOMEONE DIDN'T DO THEIR JOB RIGHT, BECAUSE HERE WE ARE
TT: Karkat. Out. Now.
CG: OH, AND NOW SHE'S BACK TOO.
TT: Dammit Karkat, did I not say I was sorry?!
CG: LOOK, THIS ISN'T MY BUSINESS, I DON'T WANT IT TO BE MY BUSINESS. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER DISGUSTING THINGS YOU WANT TO EACH OTHER BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.
CG: HERE'S SOME ADVICE:
CG: IF YOU HAVE TO JUGGLE THIS AND SOME POOR UNFORTUNATE SOUL'S CONVERSATION AT THE SAME TIME, MAKE SURE WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO BEFORE YOU HIT SEND
TT: I apologized!!
CG: CHRIST LALONDE, WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO BE BUSY FOR A FEW MINUTES I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW BUSY YOU WERE
EB: a FEW minutes???
TT: Not THAT few minutes!
CG: OH, WHICH REMINDS ME
CG: EGBERT, I BELIEVE THIS BELONGS TO YOU
-- CARCINOGENETICIST [CG] SENT ECTOBIOLOGIST [EB] THE FILE "HUMANSARELITERALLYDISGUSTING.TXT" --
CG: I WOULD HAVE JUST COPYPASTED, BUT BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY SHE GOT REALLY INTO IT BEFORE SHE REALIZED IT WAS ME
CG: PLEASE, JUST TAKE IT SO I CAN DELETE WHAT HUMANS CONSIDER "EROTIC" FROM MY COMPUTER'S MEMORY
CG: AND MY MIND
CG: AND MY LIFE
CG: GODSPEED, YOU WEIRD LITTLE SHITS
----carcinoGeneticist [CG] has left the chat----
EB: that happened.
EB: i gotta be honest rose, i don't exactly feel much up for this anymore.
EB: but, uh, it was fun while it lasted?
TT:"i hope you're in the mood for sausage?"
TT: REALLY, John?