Actions

Work Header

she sees dead people (but you gotta make an appointment)

Work Text:

Danneel Harris is a badass necromancer.

"Are you seriously going to put that on the new business cards?" Danneel says, peering over Misha's shoulder at the computer monitor.

Misha just rolls his eyes. "You really think you're going to get more clients by pussyfooting around the death magic part? Like, Danneel Harris, postmortem spiritual consultant?"

"You said it, not me, minion." Danneel pokes his shoulder. "No, I'm not sure about 'badass.' I'm a professional, Misha. I have a website. I have an office. I have a landline."

"I've noticed," says Misha. "As you can see, there's also a new out-of-the-office memo pad."

"That you bought at Urban Outfitters."

"Yup." Misha leans back in his office chair, gives it a little spin so he's facing Danneel. "You've been checking QuickBooks?"

"Are you kidding me?" Danneel says. She crosses her arms. "I hired you to do that bullshit. And Excel spreadsheets. And installing all of those fucking Wordpress updates on the website."

"It's not like it's hard," Misha says.

"Yeah, but I could be like, consulting. Or watching the new season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Or—" Danneel pauses. "I pay you five bucks an hour above minimum wage, deal with it."

"Yeah, I'm not really sure why." Misha tilts his head, mock-thoughtful. "I guess it's hard to find zombies who are this awesome with Microsoft Office 2010."

Danneel just stares at him for one long moment. "You know the rule about zombie jokes, minion."

"Ugh, I have to go buy you an iced triple tall breve caramel macchiato," Misha says. "You're so cruel, I'm so tortured."

"I have grieving parents in half an hour and law enforcement at five o'clock," Danneel says. "Chop chop."