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it's stupid, really. they'd be in so much trouble if anyone found them, and honestly is there anything more cliche and high school than smoking pot under the bleachers? but minho wanted to, said, come on, hyung, live a little, and so here jinki is. he coughs hard after his first hit, feeling dizzy and lightheaded. minho laughs. hyung, he says, hyung, your face is all red. jinki swats at him and grabs for the blunt again, but minho holds it above his head with his stupidly long arms. kibum told me about this thing he did with jonghyun, minho begins, and jinki already knows this will be a bad idea. it's called shotgunning, where one person inhales and then kisses someone and breathes it into their mouth. do you want to try?
jinki blinks. he turns the idea over in his mind, thinks about the girl in his statistics class who got drunk and kissed minho and then wouldn't shut up about it for two weeks because he was so good, oh my god, his tongue, you have no idea. jinki thinks, okay, just once, and opens his mouth to tell minho, but minho was sucking down smoke while he was thinking, and he leans forward and presses his mouth to jinki's. he blows out, and jinki breathes in automatically. it's better now that it's diluted. it doesn't make him cough.
minho makes a little noise that jinki's never heard before and shifts closer, pulls jinki into his lap. jinki doesn't know when he started wanting minho, this boy he's known since he was in sixth grade because his mom forced him to join a soccer team where he spent most of his time tripping over the ball. minho had been handsome even then, charmed all the parents into giving him an extra juice that he'd share with jinki. he kept charming people as he grew up, teachers and girls and chaperones. never jinki, though. he didn't want their friendship to be based on a lie, he told jinki once when they were drunk at kibum's house. but now jinki's thinking that maybe it has been, because at some point in the last six years he started wanting minho the way all those girls want him, and he didn't realize it until minho kissed him. god, that girl was right. minho kisses jinki like he wants to swallow him whole, licking into his mouth until his tongue is pressed against the back of jinki's teeth. jinki moans because he doesn't know what else to do, and minho's fingers tighten on his hips.
jinki thinks he hears someone call his name, but he ignores it in favor of sliding his fingers into minho's hair. then the shout is closer, much closer, and it sounds suspiciously like kibum. there's a murmured shit! and the next thing jinki knows, he's laying on his back on the ground. he blinks up at the bleachers over his head and is wrinkling his nose at the wads of gum stuck to the undersides when kibum's face is suddenly right in front of his. jinki shrieks and tries to roll away, but there's a pole right next to him that he hits his elbow on. kibum sighs in exasperation and pulls at his other arm, muttering things under his breath about how the hell can jinki be at the top of his class and how minho is stupid as fuck for getting him high because of course he'll be even more uncoordinated now. jinki feels vaguely offended.
he's dragged back to kibum's car, where jonghyun is already waiting with a pack of cigarettes and an easy smile. dropping out of school really was a good idea for him, jinki thinks. you know you aren't allowed to smoke in my car, kibum tells him, narrowing his eyes, and jonghyun shrugs and stubs it out. they bicker cheerfully at each other while jinki and minho get into the car and kibum drives them to his house so they can let the high wear off with others around. jinki falls asleep on the way there and wakes up with his head on minho's shoulder and minho's fingers wrapped loosely around his wrist.
minho shows up on jinki's doorstep a week later with a face like thunder. his parents are fighting again, and minho's tired of trying to ignore it, so he goes to jinki's house where it's always empty and quiet because he's an only child and his parents work all the time. they've known each other long enough that the silence doesn't bother them: they can sit on the couch for an hour without saying a word and not feel awkward at all. honestly, minho thinks it probably should be awkward, given that the last time they were alone together they were making out like they'd been the first to discover it. but jinki doesn't seem to mind, doesn't even seem to remember, so minho goes with it. minho plays his gameboy while jinki listens to music and reads some magazine, and every once in a while he sneaks a glance over at him. jinki doesn't notice.
after a while, minho's back starts to hurt from being hunched over, so he sits up and stretches. he leans over to look at what jinki's reading, but the flutter of jinki's eyelashes against his cheek distracts him. it takes a minute for jinki to realize minho's staring at him, but when he does, he smiles and takes out one of his earbuds like he's expecting minho to say something.
minho kisses him instead.
jinki gasps a little in surprise, and minho takes the opportunity to slip his tongue in, pressing it to jinki's for a moment until he pulls away. he backs off just enough so he can look jinki in the eye and silently ask for permission. jinki's answer is to grab minho's arm and pull him back, meeting him halfway.
it's better now that they're sober, minho thinks. the pot had softened things for him, like the way jinki's mouth is a little too wet and he's a little too eager, but it had also deadened them. minho hadn't noticed before how jinki likes to curl his fingers against his own thigh or how he prefers sucking on minho's top lip to the lower one. it's erotic, realizing this.
jinki slides into his lap and winds his arms around minho's neck, and minho automatically pulls him as close as he can get. he doesn't know how they got like this, he just knows that he's wanted to kiss jinki since he figured out what kissing was, what it meant. he's spent six years imagining himself with jinki, and now jinki's on top of him, kissing him, rolling his hips down. minho is too terrified of waking up to pinch himself.
jinki pulls back and cups minho's face in both hands. minho wraps his fingers around jinki's wrists. they stare at each other for a long moment, and then jinki leans in and kisses him soft and careful. it isn't perfect, but it makes up for every drunken hookup and every awkward goodnight kiss that minho's ever experienced. minho moans softly and murmurs, i dream about you, into jinki's mouth.
he thinks he hears jinki whisper, me too.