Gerard hadn't wanted to come, but sometimes the label was a pain in your ass and someone had to make some kind of appearance. They had to rock/scissors/paper it out and Gerard had lost. Mikey was at his side, because Mikey wasn't a traitor like the rest of his band. Gerard vowed to never ever share his last smoke with Frank ever again. It wasn't a set in stone kind of vow, but Gerard was ready to hold it up.
Mikey was looking at him and Gerard sighed and made a small wavy gesture. They were here way too long anyay. Mikey grinned and was out of the door in seconds. At least he had come.
I love you his phone told him, the text was of course from his brother. Gerard shook his head. He fired a quick reply and sneaked out of the main room. He would shake a few more hands and then he would be so out of here. Label be damned.
The balcony wasn't unoccupied. Gerard really didn't care right now. He could deal with one person. He stepped into the shadows quietly, leaned on the railing farthest away from the other guy, because it was a guy, Gerard could make it out even it was nearly dark out here. He lit a cigarette and let out a sigh. This was what he needed. He didn't want to make friends with people tonight. He just wanted to curl up at home and be nostalgic for a summer years ago. He took another drag and the guy turned to him.
“Hi,” he said.
Gerard nodded. “Hi, just wanna smoke in peace, will be right out of your hair.”
People hiding on balconies usually wanted to be left alone.
“It's fine, no need to stress about it. Hiding out?” he asked coming closer. He was bigger than Gerard and he smelled like candy and some expensive cologne. Gerard's nose itched. Chemically manufactured smells always did that to him. It wasn't that he smelled bad, just wrong. Not like a real human being and underneath that chemical scent was something else, a hint of – Gerard breathed in as the guy was leaning against the railing just a bit away. There was smoke too in the mix, his own fault. But underneath it all... Gerard wanted to lick that guy just to get at that smell.
“Yes,” he said instead, taking another drag of his cigarette. He looked at the guy and Gerard knew him. Adam. “I didn't think you would.”
Adam smiled. “It's not really my scene.”
“Ah, no underground to... how does it go again? Where freaks like us could meet, hmm?”
Adam laughed delighted. It sounded rich like good coffee. It made Gerard smile back. “I'm Gerard,” he said even he was aware that Adam knew who he was.
“Adam,” Adam answered and Gerard gave him a look. “But you know that already.”
As he leaned in to shake Adam's hand he could finally made out that familiar scent. It was wolf, all over Adam, but it wasn't Adam. Someone close to him then. Close enough to be able to rub his scent all over Adam's clothes and probably skin. An act of marking territory – but not a warning. Adam probably didn't even know.
There was something familiar about the scent of the wolf too. Gerard knew that scent, knew that wolf, but not the human.
Gerard nodded and tried not to be creepy. He did want to sniff at Adam, but well...normal people didn't do things like that to strangers.
“Show me one person who doesn't?” Gerard replied.
Adam shrugged, it looked a bit sad, Gerard thought. “Comes with the job, I guess.”
Gerard exhaled smoke and then crushed his butt against the railing. He looked at it for a second and then put it in his pocket. There was no ashtray in sight. Adam smiled, raising an eyebrow. “Shut up. I'm trying to be a decent human being,” he mumbled.
“You are a decent human being, Gerard Way,” Adam said. His blue eyes were smiling.
Gerard was battling a blush. “Wanna get out of here?”
“Is that a come-on? Because I need to let you know that I am not that kind of boy.”
Gerard laughed. “I crave good coffee, they don't have decent coffee here.”
Adam nodded. “Sure, you do realise that coffee is the first step, right?”
“Coffee is every step,” Gerard answered.
When Adam's people made him come here he was determinate to not make a scene and to leave as soon as he could get away with it. What he did not ever think about was that he could meet someone interesting, someone he had maybe had a crush on when he had been younger. Someone who was his hero for all the right reasons. Someone who- well. Adam cut that thought off.
Sometimes people could see it written all over his face when he was entertaining NC-17 fantasies. Gerard seemed like a person who could spot such things even on people he didn't know particularly well.
They were sitting on the hood of Gerard's car with paper cups of Starbucks coffee. Adam was sure his people were having heart attacks or something before he’d texted them that he went home. Alone. No need for PR to have headaches just yet.
Gerard was keeping a bit of space between them. Maybe he didn't like to invade people. Thing was Adam rarely felt invaded, because he liked people and because his height gave him an advantage. He was looming above practically anyone, if he wanted to loom that was.
Gerard was talking with his hands, his whole body, his red hair was styled and he smelled like coffee and washing powder. Adam wanted to know how it felt.
“Are you even listening?” Gerard said, turning a bit to look at Adam.
“Of course,” Adam answered.
“What did I just say?” Gerard wanted to know.
“You were rambling on and on about how society sucks and how TV bosses are scum and-”
“Fine you were listening,” Gerard interrupted. “I didn't say scum.”
Adam smiled. “You meant scum. I appreciate that you have strong feelings about how douchy the media sometimes threats me.”
“I can hear a but,” Gerard said.
“But I can take care of myself and the media. I knew what this would mean.”
“Coming out?” Gerard asked, leaning a bit closer. It seemed to Adam like he couldn't help himself.
“Being out,” Adam said, because he thought there was a difference.
Gerard nodded like he got it. Adam didn't know if he did. Gerard after all never came out. Kissing his guitarist on stage hardly counted. These days everyone did it.
Gerard drained his paper-cup and put it on the hood of the car. “Drink up kid, I'm taking you home.”
“I'm hardly a kid anymore,” Adam answered smiling, but he did finish his coffee and let Gerard throw the cups into the bin before they got in the car.
Gerard was silent on the way to Adam's place and once he parked outside the gate he looked at Adam like he wanted to say something or ask something, but he didn't. Adam got out of the car and had the stupid feeling like he was fifteen again or something. Not really knowing what was expected from him. He wanted to say something like 'call me', but he bit his lip instead. He and Gerard, they weren't whatever Adam sometimes had entertained in his daydreams when he had been younger. This wasn't a date.
“I-” Adam said with no idea what to follow this up with. He was usually so much smoother about these things.
“Someone's waiting for you,” Gerard said, nodding in the direction of the door. Adam turned, it was open. Adam knew that shadowy figure. Kris had probably heard the car or whatever. His ears were just that freakishly good.
“That's Kris,” Adam answered.
“Say hi then,” Gerard said with a smile and a small wave.
Adam nodded smiling back as he watched Gerard drive away.
Adam smelled like smoke and coffee and something else underneath it. It was a barely there scent, but Kris knew it because the wolf knew it.
“Hey, you didn't need to wait up,” Adam said softly.
Kris stepped aside to let him in. He was tired and feeling the pull of the moon. Not at full force yet, but soon and he had to find a way to be away from Adam then, because he needed to run. There was no way in hell Kris was going to tell him now about his condition. Somehow that ship has sailed and it hadn't been easy to keep this stuff under control during Idol, but he managed so he would manage now too. He didn't need to change, but he wanted to do it. Wanted to run and feel the freedom that came when instinct took over.
“I didn't,” Kris answered. “You're back early. No one interesting to hang out with?”
“I met Gerard Way from-”
“My Chemical Romance, I know. I'm from Arkansas and not the moon, Adam,” Kris interrupted.
“We went for coffee.”
Something settled like a stone in Kris stomach. Adam wasn't his, Adam was free to date whoever he wanted. And that fact had just been driven home again. Kris wasn't even sure he could be with a human being. He had always assumed he would find a nice weregirl one day and then BAM: Adam.
Adam kind of unravelled his world. Sometimes Kris had the feeling, he did the same to Adam.
“From what I hear coffee doesn't mean the same thing to the Ways that it means to us,” Kris said.
Adam laughed. “Might even be true. Don't tell Tommy I said that.”
“Never,” Kris answered.
“You tired?” Adam asked looking Kris over.
“Yes,” Kris said, but he could smell the excitement on Adam, knew Adam wasn't ready to go upstairs, clean up and go to bed. Not yet, not for a while. “But I can watch Dirty Dancing with you anyway.”
“I might re-live my whole night like a teenage girl,” Adam warned.
“I don't mind.” And Kris really didn't. He curled up on the sofa with Adam and listened and breathed in that scent that reminded him of a long ago summer when he had been a teenager.
Kris was dreaming and he was aware that he was dreaming, maybe a part of him was wide awake, somewhere.
In the dream he is fifteen again. He can feel his body small and not quite fitting, he can feel the thrumming want in his veins, the fast beating of his heartbeat as he races through the under-bushes. He doesn't feel like a wolf, he just feels playful and safe and happy. He, himself and the wolf that is, have been getting stronger for two years now. He'd lost Daniel a while ago. He can't even make out his scent anymore, but it doesn't matter. He doesn't have to fear anything here. His parents told him.
He slides to a halt as the wind brings with it a new scent. Wolf. 100% wolf, not one of Kris' family or clan. Kris knows every one of them by now – well at least those that are living close enough to attend family gatherings. It's not always fun. Kris doesn't know what to do. His parents didn't say anything about stray wolves. Kris has the suspicion that his parents aren't aware that there are any stray wolves in the area. He is still contemplating all this when the wolf inside him makes up its mind. And then Kris is running toward that scent: playful, stupid and curious.
The wolf is black and sleeping. Kris sniffs around a bit to know if he's alone, but he can only make out a faint human scent. Most wolves smell a bit like humans, because they don't like to be alone and also because most people have family and close friends.
Kris lumbers over as silently as he knows how and sits down in front of the wolf. His fur is shaggy and he smells like exhaustion and booze. Kris nearly crinkles his nose at the scent, but the wolf looks at him then. Tiredly, all too human under all the fur. He has dirty green eyes, like mud.
Kris pokes him with a paw playfully. He's never met a wolf before that wasn't family. The wolf perks up and before Kris knows it, they're racing and howling at the moon.
Kris falls beside the other wolf exhausted from chasing each other, warm breath and fur and snuggles close and doesn't have a freaking care in the world. He breathes the other wolf's scent in and tries to commit it to memory. He wants to change to his human for, so they can talk, but he hasn't mastered the change at will yet, so he's stuck on every full moon. The wolf licks his ears like his mum used to do when he was still a cub and Kris is only half irritated at the gesture. He is not a puppy anymore, but he is aware that he isn't a grown up wolf yet. Won't be for a few years and it does feel nice.
Kris was snuggling closer to the warm body, trying to bury himself in the fur and then the scent of expensive cologne hit his nostrils and he woke up.
Adam was looking down at him. “Dreams?”
“Yeah,” Kris answered.
“A good one. It sounded like a good one. You were all smiley and stuff,” Adam said.
Kris smiled up at him. “I was a wolf running through a forest at night.”
“Explains the sniffling at my neck then,” Adam said and he was matter of fact about it.
Kris blushed. “Sorry, man. Sorry.”
“Don't worry,” Adam answered. “You should probably go to bed.”
Kris nodded. He should.
Kris had stayed for two weeks now. Adam had no idea how long Kris wanted to stay, but he wouldn't make Kris leave if Kris wasn't ready yet to face the world again. It wasn't that Allen was hiding, (at least Adam didn't think it was that.) Kris just needed a place to stay and think and be his own person again and Adam had the space. Besides he never could say no to Allen anyway.
Adam brushed his fingertips over that place on his neck Kris had been pushing his nose into and then took a deep breath. This was so clearly messed up. He just needed to let it go. On most days it even worked. It was fine, Adam was fine when Kris wasn't there. When he was only a voice on the phone, an e-mail, a twitter message or something away. Not close enough to hurt, but not too far away either.
He played with his phone for a while thinking about finding out Gerard Way's number. He could call in a few favours. He could just ask Saporta. He could always just leave a twitter message or something too – and start a shitstorm and make PR cry. He smiled to himself, toying with his phone.
“Hi, it's Adam,” Adam said.
Gerard didn't even ask how he got this number. Adam clearly knew people and had vices.
“Hi, Adam,” Gerard answered. He was pleased that Adam was calling. He had been thinking about calling Adam too. He was sure Mikey knew someone who knew someone who had Adam's number. Probably Saporta, Saporta knew everyone.
“I’m thinking coffee,” Adam said.
“You know my weakness all too well,” Gerard replied, he was smiling and sure Adam could hear it in his voice. He didn't really care.
“It's not my fault. You brought that on yourself.”
Which was so very true. “You buying?”
“Sure,” Gerard said. Gerard wasn't sure it was a date. It was a possibility with Adam, but he didn't want to ask. He wrote down the place and time and disconnected the call.
“So, Gabe says you're dating Lambert. And that he is a toppy top who likes to top,” Mikey said walking into the kitchen. He was firing a text back, probably to Saporta, hopefully to tell him to shut his filthy mouth. Not that it would work.
“I knew it was Saporta. Why does he have my number anyway?” Gerard asked.
Mikey shrugged, leaning against the cabinet. He looked at Gerard. “You are not dating Lambert.”
“We're going out for coffee.”
“Does he know that doesn't mean the same to us than other people?” Mikey wanted to know.
Gerard shrugged. He didn't really care. He liked talking to Adam and he wanted to find out more about that scent. “Gee?”
Gerard sighed. “He smells like wolf.”
Mikey nodded. “He’s not.” Mikey just got all the things Gerard didn't say.
“No, he's not, but someone close to him is and I don't think he knows,” Gerard bit his lip and then just went on. “He smells like that wolf from the woods. I think. I am not sure, but I think it was the same scent.” He couldn't be sure because there were years of being fucked up and high, but this one night when he had been so very sober (he always was during transformation) stuck out, was as clear as anything could be from back then.
“Gerard,” Mikey stressed his name.
“I am not using him,” Gerard said, but it wasn't the whole truth and they both knew it.
Mikey gave him a look. “What are you doing then?”
Gerard didn't know. “I don't know.”
“That wolf wasn't your pack,” Mikey said.
Thing was Gerard didn't have a pack. He had a band and a family that got his issues and sometimes these two overlapped, but he did not have a pack. He lit a cigarette. He didn't need to say it. Mikey knew and Gerard knew it sometimes killed him that they weren't the same anymore. But there was no way in hell Gerard would try to turn Mikey. Chances were he would survive the transformation, because they shared the same blood, but Gerard still though the risk was too high. They just didn't know enough about all the werewolf stuff to be sure.
“I'm not judging because I have no idea how it must feel to be alone with this, and you were so happy that day, but- Gerard. What if Adam likes you?” Mikey said it like he knew that Adam liked Gerard. Mikey knew a lot of shit about a lot of people was the thing.
“Do I want to know?”
Mikey shrugged. “I bet he was jerking off to you when he was younger.”
Well, fuck. Gerard rubbed his free hand over his thigh and then took another drag. Maybe he should tell Adam – something, but not the truth. Gerard was a good liar, if he wanted to be. The problem was that he didn't want to lie. He didn't want to lose this chance. Mikey bumped his shoulder into Gerard's. “I get it. Just. I don't know. He seems like a genuine nice guy and I don't want him to get hurt. I know that sounds stupid, but,” he shrugged and plugged the cigarette from Gerard's fingers to take a drag and then gave it back. Mikey tried to smoke less.
“No, it doesn't,” Gerard answered.
Gerard was stalking Adam on the internet, because, duh, that was what it was for. He just wanted to know who that scent could belong to. So he watched videos for hours, award-shows and red carpets and interviews, but the thing was that Adam was affectionate with EVERYONE. There was no real way to find out by just watching. And apparently Adam let people stay over at his place all the time too.
He toyed with the piece of paper he’d written the place and time on, it was covered in doodles already after only one day and worn smooth around the edges. He wanted to go. He wanted to meet Adam for coffee and talk.
“Don't fuck him up, okay?” Mikey said from the door.
Gerard looked up from the paper and at his brother. “I can't promise anything at all, but I try to make this work and maybe I was wrong.”
“Yeah, right,” Mikey answered.
“Not about the wolf thing, but about that boy. You know things seemed easier back then, when I could get drunk and it wouldn't matter anyway during the transformation and-” That was before he started to do drugs too, before the band.
“I'd never seen you so happy,” Mikey said softly. “You were a ball of crazy love for everything and I was jealous.”
“Mikey,” Gerard said. He didn't know how to reply. Being with another wolf was just different. It didn't mean he loved Mikey less. It was just another way to connect. One that wasn't possible for them. Not since Gerard got bitten.
“I am still jealous, sometimes, but I get it. It's not cool, it hurts and you're lonely sometimes. And it's not like there are any support groups for werewolves.”
“There should be,” Gerard said.
“Yeah and when the truth comes out you will be hunted down and I don't want that.”
“I don't want that either.”
“Just meet him then, talk, make a friend or whatever,” Mikey smiled.
“I'll be careful.”
“No sniffing people's necks, hmm?”
“You always smell good to me,” Gerard answered.
“Of course, I do love your crazy ass.”
Adam was kinda nervous which was stupid, because this wasn't a date. Adam didn't date when Kris was around. It wasn't a rule or whatever, it was just how it was. But this was the fourth not-date they were having and the first meeting on the balcony didn't count.
Adam liked Gerard and Gerard made it easy to like him. There was no pressure whatsoever. They met up, they talked, they drank on obscene amount of coffee. It was nice. And Gerard could be so fucking sincere. It was kinda dazzling.
“So, wanna come to my place?” Adam asked and it wasn't an invitation into his bedroom, but well, he felt nervous anyway.
Gerard raised an eyebrow. They were sitting on a bench and it was a million degrees, but Gerard was still wearing black. His red hair hidden under the hood. He took a drag of his ever present cigarette. Adam always imagined that Gerard would taste like smoke. Something that would burn at the back of his tongue.
“To do what?” Gerard asked, his voice sounded careful, kind of neutral.
“Hang out where it's not Crimatoria. I have air conditioning.” he stretched a bit. Gerard followed the movement. Maybe Adam was wrong, maybe these were some kind of dates. Maybe that was a mating progress. Way was weird, no question there.
“You've seen Riddick.”
“Yes and Pitch Black. I have ice-cream if that helps?” Adam asked.
“You're just paranoid about getting more freckles,” Gerard answered.
Adam was pleased. He smiled at Gerard. “You stalked me on the internet.”
“It's made for that-”
“And for po-”
“Don't you dare finishing that,” Gerard interrupted laughing. He got up, throwing his butt in a bin and looked at Adam. “So, lead the way.”
Kris was glad that Adam was out more often these days. It gave him time to shift and run. He could be back and showered before Adam came back from his not-dates as he liked to call them. Kris wasn't sure he believed Adam on that one. He knew how stupid crushes could work themselves into something else. And Adam always smelled excited when he came back from these meetings with Gerard and faintly aroused.
Kris had the dream frequently now and he thought it was because Adam always smelled like wolf now, it was mostly Kris' scent, but on some nights when he came back his clothes carried a faint smell of other. It made Kris' stomach do funny things. He wanted to rub all over Adam to make sure no one, no one, would even touch him. He wanted to lay claim to Adam's body and soul and heart. He didn't.
Kris opened the back-door and froze. Adam was back early today. And he wasn't alone. Kris could smell the other person. Cigarettes and coffee and wolf. Different from his own. Not born like this, they always smelled different, wilder somehow. His parents warned him after that one night out about how unstable bitten wolves could be. Told him not to get mixed up with them, but by then Kris had been kinda heads over heels for that shaggy thing in the woods. He shrugged his shirt on and walked over to the kitchen. He was sure the other wolf had made out his scent already. And he was sweating too, the smell stronger that way.
“Kris,” Adam said, a bit surprised but mostly happy.
“You're back early,” Kris said, he took a deep breath and then looked at Gerard. He knew that scent and by the way Gerard's eyes widened he remembered too.
“It's you, I should have known” Gerard said, getting up from the chair he was sitting on and then stopped himself. He smiled. “I didn't think I would see you again.”
Kris had hoped they would to be honest. Kris had had dreams about that night and he had always felt that inner peace that his parents had described to him that would settle over his bones when the right weregirl would worm into his heart. He did feel that peace with Adam too. He felt it with Adam from that first day they met. But Adam was not like him.
“You know each other?” Adam asked.
Kris shook his head. “We've met when I was-”
“Young,” Gerard said.
Kris smiled. “Not that young.”
“It's good to see you,” Gerard said and made another step forward like he couldn't help it. His fingers twitched, reaching out.
“Come on,” Kris said laughing because he wanted Gerard to hug the living hell out of him and he wanted to mingle their scents and claim and bite and lick all over Gerard's skin, but he wouldn't because they were in Adam's kitchen and Adam smelled like amusement and confusion.
Gerard did hug him then, clinging to his body and inhaling his scent and Kris did the same because he knew it was okay. “You smell different now,” he whispered.
“I'm clean now,” Gerard whispered back and yes, that could totally be it.
It was hard for Kris to let go, but he knew he had to. Adam was still watching them and he hadn't said a word while Kris was hugging Gerard. So Kris did let go, still smiling at Gerard.
Gerard's finger brushed his arm, like he didn't want to let go either and he probably didn't. Kris took a step back, because he could feel the pull, the need to get naked and transform and run with Gerard like they did that one time in the forest and then they would curl up and sleep.
“I want to run with you,” Gerard said and Kris grinned at him nodding, because of course, of course.
“You jog?” Adam asked.
“Not really, sometimes I like to run,” Gerard answered blinking at Adam like he had forgotten he and Kris weren't alone.
Kris felt a bit bad for Adam. Obviously Adam didn't know. Being a werewolf wasn't something you just told people. It wasn't easy to make something like that understood. Kris thought Gerard's band knew about it. Surely his brother, his whole family. He wondered how Gerard got turned and realised in the same instance that he was glad Gerard did make it through the first transformation.
“You don't seem the type,” Adam said.
“Because I have a bad smoking habit? And an even worse rock-star attitude?” Gerard asked.
“Yeah, that too.”
“You know looks are deceiving.”
“Trust me, I do know that,” Adam answered.
Kris wanted to ask Gerard a million questions and curl up with him on the big comfy sofa that belonged to Adam. He was feeling so happy, it was ridiculous.
Adam sighed mock exasperated. “You two want obviously to catch up on your life since Kris was-”
“Fifteen,” Kris threw in.
“Oh god!” Gerard said, a bit horrified.
Kris knew Gerard imprinted on him that day, but he had no idea how much Gerard knew about these kinds of things, actually. After all Gerard didn't have a family to teach him the ways of the wolf – or whatever you wanted to call it. Daniel liked to call it Ways of the Wolf – all in capitals too and Kris kind of did it too, mostly in his head only.
“Fifteen?” Adam asked.
“I didn't know he was that young and we didn't. I mean it wasn't anything bad or-” Gerard shut up as Kris started laughing.
“Fifteen, Kris?” Adam asked again.
“You know I did have game way before you,” Kris smiled, only half joking. After all he had been dating Katy back then.
Adam smiled back, shaking his head. “I'm gonna leave you-”
“What? No,” Kris interrupted. “This is your not-date, Gerard and I can catch up some other time.”
“Sure,” Gerard said, producing a pen and a piece of paper out of his pocket and scribbling his number down. He handed it over to Kris and Kris nodded. “Do I need to say it?”
“No, but it would be nice.”
“Call me, Kris Allen.”
Kris smiled, he would.
Kris did call, but then Gerard didn't think for one second Kris wouldn't. They had a lot of catching up to do, but this wasn't about that and Gerard knew it.
Kris was bouncing on his heels in Gerard's door and Gerard just wanted to hug the living hell out of him and drag him to the couch and bed and curl up and just bask in all the happy feelings he could smell on Kris. He was sure Kris could smell his bouncy happiness in return.
“Wanna come in?” Gerard asked.
Kris grabbed him by his shirt and pressed their bodies together. “Is it weird that I just want to curl up with you on the rug and do like nothing?” Kris said.
“No, or if it is then I'm weird too,” Gerard admitted. He didn't say anything about the bed just in case Kris could get the wrong impression.
Kris let go and followed Gerard into the living room. “Does your band know?”
“About me? Yeah. It's hard to hide something like that and sometimes I act out, it's better now that I'm clean, but it was really bad for some time.”
Kris nodded. “My parents said that bitten wolves had a hard time, that many weren't really sane, that many didn't make it.”
“Bitten,” Gerard repeated.
“You smell different.” Kris shrugged. It looked boyish and graceful on Kris, Gerard thought.
“Bitten as opposite to what?” Gerard had to ask, he needed Kris to confirm this for him.
“Born,” Kris said softly, toying his shoes of and curling up on the couch. Gerard was barefoot, because since he got turned he liked to feel wood and soil and grass under his feet.
“I've never met anyone else who is like me before and now it turns out you aren't at all like me.”
“No one is like you anyway, Gerard. We are different, because we are human. That's how it works,” Kris answered.
“But you have a mother and a father who are werewolves and they could teach you stuff. I have a big fat scar from a bite,” Gerard said.
“No,” Gerard answered because he didn't mean it in a bad way. He wasn't wallowing in his misery and bad fortune or whatever. “I am glad you have all that. I am glad that's how it usually works.”
“Oh,” Kris said.
“Mikey wanted me to turn him, but I didn't. I think he's still a bit bitter.”
“It's a good thing you didn't. Even you share the same blood, it doesn't mean it would've worked.”
Gerard nodded, he got what Kris wasn’t saying. Mikey would've probably died. “Maybe you could explain it to him? Maybe you could teach me -” Gerard waved his hand in a helpless gesture.
“Daniel calls it Ways of the Wolf,” Kris smiled, patting the empty place beside him.
Gerard made his way to the couch. “Ways of the Wolf,” he repeated. “I like that.” He sat down on the couch and Kris buried into him immediately.
“It's stupid, I know, but I really missed this. And I tried to find you, but you just weren't there.”
“We were on a trip and the forest was there and my skin itched. It seemed like a good place to run. I didn't think I would meet someone like you there. Besides the one that bit me, I've never seen another werewolf. Caught a scent in passing, but couldn't pinpoint it. There are so many smells in the city.”
“Yeah,” Kris said. “That's why I like Adam's place. It has this small patch of trees that's a bit like a forest. It feels like home.”
Gerard stroked Kris' hair, like he always did with Mikey. “I could smell you all over him. Faint, but there.”
Kris shrugged awkwardly. “I-”
“I know. You try not to claim him.”
It was weird and awesome to be able to talk about it and have someone understand it too. “My parents told me that one day I would meet the right weregirl and I would know by the utter peace I would feel washing over me and then bam: Adam.” Kris shrugged.
Gerard felt that too. With Kris. That inner peace. “So...do werewolves mate for life?”
“Oh god no,” Kris laughed. “Not all, I mean, we are human too and bond to fuck up, you know. But it is the goal of some sorts, the thing, the holy grail? I mean, it does happen. The bonding for life and you would know by -”
“Feeling inner peace,” Gerard finished.
“Yeah,” Kris breathed out.
“So, you and Adam are meant to be,” it wasn't a real question, but Gerard was curious anyway. He was feeling drawn to Kris and Kris had been drawn to him too. He just knew it.
Kris looked up at him and Gerard's fingers stilled tangled in his hair. “No, because life is a bitch. Adam isn't one of – he isn't like us and he won't ever be.”
“And werewolves don't mate? Is that the right term? Date, so they don't date, are together with not werewolves? Is that some weird racism?” Gerard's voice was full of disapproval. Because this was bullshit.
“It's not some kind of racism. It's for their protection. We could be tempted to change them and we could lose them. It's not a rule, but most werewolves I know, those from my family, my clan, the responsible ones, they don't mess around with humans. Not if it could be something serious.”
“Oh,” Gerard said. It made sense. He didn't try it because he cared for Mikey and he had been so very tempted. “So how high is the success rate?”
“Less than 10% of surviving a bite. Less than 5% surviving the first transformation and come out sane on the other side.”
“Wow,” Gerard said. He had been so fucking lucky.
“It must have been a rouge werewolf who bit you. We don't go around biting random people.”
“I was seventeen,” Gerard said softly, remembering.
Kris snuggled closer. “Wanna go for a run?”
“Yes,” Gerard answered, he really wanted to go for a run.
Kris looked happy and exhausted as he fell down on the sofa. Adam made room for him by pure instinct. He pushed his laptop away and let Kris snuggle closer.
“You smell good,” Kris said.
It wasn't the most random thing Adam had ever heard and it was a nice thing to hear, so he didn't wonder. Much. “Did you have fun?”
“It was fun,” Kris said into his t-shirt.
“You look all sweaty and-”
“Sorry, want me to shower first?” Kris said, looking up.
Adam shook his head. He so didn't give a fuck, to be honest. They had hugged after shows both of them covered in sweat. It reminded Adam of old times. Sharing space with Kris on a daily basis.
“So, you and Gerard were out running?”
“Yeah. I know it's weird, but, it's what we do. I mean, not only, we talk too, but we run a lot.”
Adam muddled this over in his head. It was true that Kris would go for runs a lot, but he just didn't get it with Gerard.
Honestly he didn't know what he was feeling about the whole Kris/Gerard thing. He knew Kris didn't have a crush on Gerard, not like Adam. Kris maybe had a crush on Gerard the person, not the stage rock star persona, because they had met before Gerard had been famous and Kris had been, well, fifteen. It was kinda hard to believe. The whole freaking thing. It was strange.
Kris wriggled in Adam's arm and then sat up. “Is this okay?”
“I mean, I know you like him and you were so dating and now I take up all of Gerard's time and you guys-”
“I'm not jealous,” Adam said, but it wasn't true he realised. He was jealous, but he just couldn't figure out at who. “Don't worry. I'm glad you guys get along so well.” And that at least was true. Kris looked happy. Happier than in a long time and it seemed to be good for Gerard too.
“It's fine. Really. It was time you got out more and met interesting people.”
Kris frowned. “You sound like PR.”
Adam laughed. “I was called worse things.”
Gerard was smoking and sketching at the same time. He looked up from the paper now and then and then got back to it. Adam was watching him. This wasn't a date. Again, but he and Gerard were alone, because Kris had a thing. He didn't explain and he didn't need to either. A thing mostly meant label-related stuff. Kris was leaving his notebooks lying around all over the place.
Adam didn't read them. Creating an album was something personal, well at least before all the other people got involved.
Gerard was wearing black again, but at least it was a worn t-shirt this time. It was a million degrees outside and Gerard was sketching the freaking trees in his backyard.
“Can't you do that from inside?” Adam asked.
“It looks different through glass,” Gerard answered and then after he smudged a shadow that looked a bit like a big dog between the trees, “you don't have to sit here.”
Adam shrugged, taking a sip of his water. “I put on sunblock.” Which was a very random thing to say, but Gerard would get it. They were just that awesomely connected by now.
Gerard nodded. “That is good. But you know we like your freckles.”
“I'm sure Kris told you. Don't even try. Fishing isn't nice and you don't need it,” Gerard answered matter of fact.
Adam smiled. “He did tell me.”
“Of course,” Gerard said, he was sketching another dog-shaped thing into the trees.
“I don't have any dogs.”
“I know. They aren't dogs anyway. They're wolves.” Gerard answered with a pointed look.
“Oh grandmother what big teeth you have?”
Gerard grinned. His teeth looked tiny and really sharp. It wasn't something that could be called beautiful, Adam thought, but it added to the whole weird charm that Way had going on. “So I can better bite you with-”
“That's not how it goes,” Adam interrupted.
“But, Adam,” Gerard said, emphasis on his name, “I don't want to rip your heart and liver out and eat them.”
“I hope not,” Adam laughed. He put the water-glass on the grass and looked at Gerard. “But you want to bite me?”
“Sometimes,” Gerard said, shrugging.
Adam stared. How could Gerard say it like it wasn't a big deal? Granted Adam said a lot of provocative stuff too, but somehow this sounded different. This sounded real. Honest. Adam wanted to know what kind of biting Gerard meant, because there was the good kind and the creepy kind.
“Are you creeped out?” Kris asked softly from the door. Adam's head snapped in his direction. He didn't hear Kris coming home. Boy was a ninja. He was barefoot again. Kris stepped on the grass and buried his toes into it. Adam caught Gerard smiling like he and Kris were sharing a secret.
“Adam?” Gerard said.
“Are you creeped out?” Gerard repeated.
“What kind of biting are we talking here?” Adam asked and he was so very aware of Kris' presence in the garden. When he though about it, it was nearly hysterical. Adam in the garden and there was the forbidden fruit. What the actual fuck?
“What would you like?” Gerard asked. Kris kicked him. “Not nice, Allen,” Gerard said, rubbing his side.
“Don't mess around with Adam.”
“You asked first,” Adam pointed out. Gerard nodded.
Kris bit his lip. “It slipped out,” he shrugged, but he wasn't looking at Adam. He was staring at the trees in the distance. When Kris looked like this, he seemed to be someone else, something else, Adam thought. Like Adam couldn't even touch him. He didn't try.
Gerard gave him a long look and then patted the empty grass beside him. Kris sighed and sat down. Gerard leaned into him, sketchbook pushed away. Adam picked it up and Gerard didn't seem to mind.
There were a lot of sketches of wolves. First one, running through the night, later through empty cities and fields. Later there were a lot of a wolf-cub playing and curled up sleeping. The newer sketches looked smoother and there were two wolves, shadows in the trees of Adam's backyard. Gerard was probably working on these for years.
“And I wait till the moon is out it's just part of my game. That is rather obvious,” Gerard said.
Kris shrugged. “Not to normal people. It's a metaphor. Like your whole vampire thing. What's up with that anyway?”
“I wrote House of Wolves,” Gerard answered, and then thinking about it softer, “and The Sharpest Lives.”
Kris nodded. “I listened to it.” It wasn't really a song about wolves, about what they are all the time, but it was messed up and hurting and Kris could relate to that. And The Sharpest Lives had just enough allusions to get a message across, Kris thought.
“Recently,” Gerard said.
“Well, it's not really my kind of music, but it's not bad. I know where you're coming from now,” Kris admitted.
“You're going to write an album about being a werewolf?” Gerard asked.
Kris shook his head, he wasn't. He was going to write an album about love. He was going to write an album about himself. “This thing with Adam messes with you.”
“Well, yes. I feel like I'm lying to him all the time. Everything is tied to this one thing I can't tell him. And if I told him how I feel and then broke his heart by leaving him, because he can never be pack, what kind of asshole would that make me?” Kris asked.
“Kris. It doesn't have to be that way.”
“I am not,” he stopped taking a deep breath. Gerard didn't have to listen to a history of violence that came out of those kinds of relationships. Gerard didn't know. Kris did, his parents made it perfectly clear to him. “I am not ashamed of who I am. I am who I am. But this is, this is different. I could hurt him.” And how the hell could Kris even begin to explain that he needed to claim Adam as his and that there was no way in HELL Kris would submit to him on the bad days? Kris didn't care who fucked who, but the wolf, well, the wolf sometimes did. But that wasn't really true, because he and the wolf were one. Kris was the wolf and the wolf was Kris. And Kris didn't want to need to control himself during sex. Kris liked sex, he wanted to enjoy every second of it.
Gerard put the notebook down and looked at Kris. Kris really needed a fucking hug right now.
“Come here,” Gerard said and Kris face-planted into his chest. Gerard wasn't as big and solid as Adam, but he gave great hugs. And he smelled good. He smelled familiar and not. Gerard smelled like first love and Kris' heart ached for that. Ached for that feeling of close and warm and safe. Ached for that feeling of not keeping his distance, not drawing that line. His fingers tightened in Gerard's back and Gerard's breath hitched. Kris was sure he could smell the need, the sudden arousal on Kris.
“I'm not fifteen anymore,” Kris whispered.
“You're not,” Gerard said and kissed Kris.
Gerard hadn't been born and raised a werewolf like Kris and he didn't have the same ties and sets of rules, but he got why Kris was holding back. Knew how fucked up it all could get.
“I have been with people that were obviously not werewolves,” Gerard said. He waved his cigarette and Kris crinkled his nose at him. Gerard wanted to kiss it, it was freaking adorable.
“I've been with people like that too,” Kris said.
“You don't seem the casual hook-up type,” Gerard mused.
Kris shifted in the bed to have a better look at Gerard and Gerard sat up cross-legged, the sheets slipping, to look down at Kris, who was looking up. “I'm not. I loved all of these people. I didn't feel the need to claim any of them. Have you?”
“Is it weird that I only wanted that with Mikey?” And you, but that was maybe not the time to tell Kris. It was possible Kris already did know.
“No, he is your kin. Of course you would want that.”
“And you want that with Adam,” Gerard said.
Kris nodded. “And you, I felt that calmness with you too. Back then.”
“Aww,” Gerard said, “I was your first crush.”
“Don't make this into a joke,” Kris said, grabbing his arm hard. “It's not. If you wouldn't feel the same, we wouldn't be here.”
Gerard let the butt fall into the half-full glass of water on his night-table and leaned down to kiss the top of Kris' head. “I'm sorry. This is not what I do.”
Kris sighed. “I know.”
“What about Adam then?”
Kris shrugged and he smelled a bit irritated. Gerard got it, but this wasn't fair to Adam. “He's not pack,” Kris said again.
Gerard was tired hearing that. He knew that. A lot of people weren't pack. Gerard didn't have a pack. He had Kris now, but that wasn't the same. “I got coffee with him because he smelled like you. But I do like him and he's like your soulmate or whatever you want to call it and-”
Kris sat up and stared at Gerard. He was angry now. Gerard could smell the potential for violence. It was kind of exciting. “You are my soulmate, Gerard.”
Gerard took a deep breath. “Not like him.”
“I knew you before I even met him. I was head over heels for you. I looked for you. I was listening for your heartbeat and trying to catch your scent on the wind. Even my parents told me not to.”
“But you love Adam,” Gerard insisted, because he knew it was true. He could feel it whenever they were in the same room. How Kris' heart kind of stuttered and then beat like he was running.
“Of course!” Kris exploded. “He unravels my world. I question everything I know. I want to do all the things I really shouldn't. And I am afraid to go any further because I know I won't be able to control myself.” Kris ran a finger down Gerard's arm, there were he left marks with his too sharp nails. It didn't hurt a bit anymore. It was healing up already, so close to the full-moon nothing really stuck. “I could track him down by scent alone. Even in the city. And I want to. I draw lines, I'm erasing every time we see each other.”
“I don't have to do that,” Gerard said softly.
Kris' fingers tightened on Gerard's wrist. It nearly hurt. Kris was way stronger than he looked. He was probably stronger than Gerard. They hadn't tested that. Gerard really didn't care about the how he got off here and Kris so obviously needed to fuck someone whom he couldn't hurt. With whom he could be himself. So Gerard had let him, had yielded, had submitted.
“I could keep you in check,” Gerard cut in.
Kris let go and laid down, staring at the ceiling. “You realise we're talking about Adam here, right?”
Gerard nodded. He knew what Kris was getting at. “Kris-”
“I don't even know what to think right now. I want to rip your throat out for giving this to me.”
“That night when I ran with you for the first time, that was the happiest I ever felt. After the transformation and before, Kris,” Gerard said softly.
Kris closed his eyes.
Gerard was watching Kris pace the living room. Adam's living room, because for some weird reason they always ended up at Adam's place. Gerard had his suspicions why.
If Kris admitted it or not, this was Kris’ home. Still sex happened only at Gerard's place.
Understandable, Kris didn't want Adam walking in on them. Because Gerard knew that Kris had no illusions if Adam knew.
“Are you done freaking out?” Gerard asked, he lit a cigarette and Kris glared at him. It was kinda hot, but it only did things to shut up Gerard, to submit when they were in bed. He waved his hand and inhaled deeply.
“No,” Kris said, but he stopped pacing and sat down on the rug in front of the couch. “He's going to tell me to move out.”
“What?” Gerard asked, because that was not what he was expecting.
Kris glared up at him. Gerard took another drag of his cigarette. The door to the backyard was wide open, because Gerard was a fucking considerate person.
“He smells all wrong lately,” Kris said.
“Like going out and hooking up with strangers. Like misery and a bit like jealousy too.”
“I didn't notice,” Gerard answered.
“Because you're not living here. He showers before you guys have coffee, he doesn't think he needs to hide this with me.”
“He doesn't,” Gerard pointed out.
Kris' hands clenched to fists on his sides. He was staring at the door to the backyard. “I just wish he wasn't human. I wish I hadn’t even met him.”
“You don't meant that,” Gerard answered.
Kris smelled miserably and Gerard wanted to curl up with him and lick his ears to make him feel better. Kris sighed.
“Sometimes I do. It's just so hard, you know. Maybe I should move out. I am cramping his style or whatever.”
“Kris,” Gerard said reasonably. “This is your home.”
Kris looked at him then. “It's easy for you to say you aren't like me. You can take the risks. You-”
“Oh fuck you!” Gerard bit out. He was seriously mad right now at Kris. It was okay to be careful, but this was just stupid. And it wasn't fair to anyone. “I didn't take any risks with Mikey! I was drugged up and drunk and I knew that I couldn't ever cross that line. I can keep myself in check. I could do it while I was high like a freaking kite. You are trained to withstand temptation from the day you were born. You're just afraid.”
“I am not-”
“Don't even try this bullshit with me, because I can smell it on you,” Gerard cut in. “I may not be like you and I may not play by the same rules as you, but I know what I'm doing, I know what I won't do and you- you,” Gerard said, “make me crazy with this indecision.” Gerard took a deep breath. “Just tell him. Just tell him for god's sake. I know he won't freak out. I mean, maybe a bit, because you don't come out like that every day, but he's Adam.”
“I'll do it, if you don't,” Gerard said.
“You can't out me, for fuck's sake!” Kris yelled.
“I won't, I'm gonna tell him about me.”
“He won't believe you.”
“It doesn't matter, because I can prove it,” Gerard replied.
“You should go,” Kris said. Gerard nodded, he could smell the violence in the air. Kris was seriously losing it right now and Gerard didn't want them to hurt each other like that.
He stood up. “Adam's outside,” he said.
“I know,” Kris whispered.
Kris nodded and Gerard left him alone. There was nothing else he could do right now.
“So, you and Gerard were fighting,” Adam said the next day at the kitchen table. He looked soft and young and so fucking open that Kris wanted to jump over the table and do all kinds of things to him that he shouldn't be thinking about.
“Thank you captain obvious,” Kris answered, taking a sip of tea. He wasn't having any coffee today. It was a boycott.
“I don't want to talk about it, Adam.”
Adam raised an eyebrow at him. “You are awfully grumpy, baby.”
Kris glared at Adam. “Stop calling me that. I am not your baby. I won't be your baby and I-” he knew he shouldn't say it, but he was frustrated and angry and he hurt and he wanted Adam to hurt too, “I am fucking Gerard, so he's the one who gets to call me that.”
Adam's face lost that open look, that gentle mockery and went carefully blank. “I knew.”
“Of course you did,” Kris said. “It is none of your business if I fight with Gerard.”
“You just made it perfectly clear.” Adam took a sip of his coffee.
Kris felt a headache forming at the back of his head. No one ever told Kris that your soulmate could be a human, or that it could be a split thing, because he ached for Gerard. He needed Gerard and he was afraid of needing Adam, but that had been a lost battle from the beginning. They hit it off from the first freaking second.
“I'm going home,” Kris said.
“What? You are-” Adam bit his lip and swallowed the rest of that sentence and Kris was glad for it.
“To Conway. I need space.”
“Did you tell Gerard?”
Kris shook his head, he would do it just after he booked the ticket. “I just decided.”
“That you can't deal with this?” It wasn't a question at all. And it was clear to Kris that Adam didn't only mean the fight with Gerard.
“I'll call you when I land,” Kris said getting up.
“Kris for fuck's sake!” Adam said frustrated. He grabbed Kris' arm, hard. Kris bared his teeth. He knew it must have looked feral. He took a deep breath.
“Let go, before I hurt you,” he said with forced calm.
Adam let go of his arm. “Kris-”
“I can't do this right now! I need to think this over.”
“What? You and Gerard or you and me?” Adam demanded.
“There can never be a you and me, Adam,” Kris said. It was hard to acknowledge it. Put it out there.
“But you are in love with me,” Adam answered.
“Yes.” And god help him this was not what he wanted to say, but he was just so tired of it all.
Adam reached out again and Kris stepped back. This wasn't going to end well if he didn't get out right the fuck now. “I'll call you,” he said and practically ran out the door, grabbing his jacket, phone, and keys. He could always buy new clothes.
Adam stared at his door and then sat down. He needed to think. He needed to- he needed to call Gerard and find out what the heck was going on.
He grabbed his phone and dialled Gerard's number.
Twenty minutes later Gerard was sitting outside in Adam's backyard on the grass, a mug of coffee beside him, a cigarette between his fingers.
“So he just took off?” Gerard said. He was staring at the trees. Adam followed his gaze. Kris was often staring at the trees too.
“He said he would let you know.”
“He did send a text. But he failed to mention that he told you he loved you, you know? Must have slipped his mind.”
Adam felt bad for Gerard. After all it was obvious that Gerard had feelings for Kris. “I'm sorry.”
“Don't be. It's not like I didn't know. I knew from the first day I saw him in your kitchen.”
“And you still?”
“Because we are meant to be, Adam,” Gerard answered, he looked over his shoulder at Adam.
“How can you be so sure?”
“I was looking for him for years and he was doing the same and between then and now, he met you.”
Adam closed his eyes. “Nothing is meant to be forever.” He knew it, things just ended and they ended in tears and bitterness.
Adam was getting frustrated with Gerard's utter faith in whatever this was. And he had the feeling they weren't speaking the same language.
“So, why is Kris gone then?” Adam demanded.
“Because he loves you and because he loves me and because he knows you,” Gerard answered.
What did that even mean? “What?”
“You,” Gerard said and he turned fully to be able to look Adam in the eyes as he said it. He was being utterly sincere, Adam just wasn't sure anymore he wanted to know whatever Gerard was going to tell him. “Are the heads over heels, monogamous relationship kind.”
Adam was that kind. Heart and soul, the good and the bad and yes, of course. “But-”
“That's not going to work here,” Gerard interrupted.
It dawned on Adam then. “Did you talk about this?”
“I tried, but Kris is utterly sure that you wouldn't be okay with it,” Gerard replied. He was playing with a blade of grass. Adam never considered that kind of relationship and he liked Gerard and he found him hot, but he wasn't in love with Gerard. He had had a crush on Gerard back in the days, but that wasn't the same.
“I never even-”
“This isn't going to be easy and you can't make him decide. This won't be shared custody. I am not saying this to be cruel or whatever, but if you make him choose, he won't choose you. He can't choose you.”
“You're saying this is a package deal then. You and Kris or nothing?”
Gerard nodded. “Yes.”
To be honest, it wasn't a real question at all. If the options were Kris and Gerard or nothing. He would take the option with Kris in it. Adam was still sure that Gerard wasn't telling him the whole truth, but he wasn't going to push it. He knew a whole deal more than he knew this morning.
“How do you feel about a trip to Arkansas?” Adam asked.
“I'll have to tell Mikey.”
“You do that, rockstar. I'm going to book a flight and call Kris' mother.”
“You told him?!” Kris said. He was pacing the Allen grounds. Adam could see a small forest in the distance. He had been here before, but he never really thought about it. Now, now it was sparking something at the back of his mind.
“He, is right here, Kris.”
“I'm not talking to you. Adam. You sweet talked my mother into betraying her first born!”
Adam rolled his eyes. It wasn't his fault Kris' mother liked him and thought her son was being an idiot.
“I didn't out you,” Gerard said reasonably. Adam thought he kinda did, but then Adam had known for some time now that Kris wasn't 100% straight. Besides Kris had admitted to sleeping with Gerard himself for the universe’s sake!
He watched as Kris took a deep breath. “You didn't tell him about you either.”
“I am sure your parents know, thought. How could they not?”
Kris waved it away. “I told them about you and they stalked you on youtube.”
Gerard laughed delighted and Kris' face smoothed out. He smiled like he couldn't help it.
Possessive jealousy spiked in Adam's guts. He fought it off. Gerard's head snapped in his direction and Kris was looking at him too. It was like they knew. Which, no freaking way, because Adam knew how to hide these things.
“You're freaking me out,” Adam said with a small laugh.
Kris took a deep breath. “I talked to my mom about this and she said it was possible the soulmate thing. With someone like Adam. I mean, it wasn't common, far from, but it happened from time to time and you could fight it nail and tooth, but-”
“You would feel miserable,” Gerard concluded.
“What the hell are you two talking about?” Adam demanded. What was all the talk about soulamtes and what did 'someone like Adam' mean? What the all loving fuck?
“About being with you, Adam,” Kris said.
“Yes. I – but what else?” Adam asked.
Gerard gave Kris a look. Kris bit his lip. Gerard lit a cigarette. It was a way to distract himself, Adam knew. Had seen it a lot of times happening. This here was huge.
“Try not to freak out, okay?”
“That, right there, Kris is not a good way to assure I won't freak out,” Adam said.
“Oh for god's sake, Kris,” Gerard threw in.
“Fine. I'm a werewolf, my whole family is in fact.”
“Right,” Adam said, because what are you even supposed to say to that? This is one of these moments, he thought, that you couldn't even begin to imagine. And Adam's read Twilight and stuff, but this, this here was real life.
“It's not like Twilight at all,” Gerard said and Adam looked at him.
“I- are you kidding? Because I don't think it's funny,” Adam answered. And what did Gerard mean this wasn't Twilight? He was freaking Bella and - “You are not a vampire, right?” he asked Gerard, because he's heard the songs and all.
Gerard smiled, exhaling smoke. “No, werewolf too. Not born, though. Bitten.”
This would explain so much, if it were true and not some dark fantasy version of Adam's life. He sat down on the grass, his new pants be damned.
“Are you alright?” Kris asked.
“What? No!” Adam answered hotly.
“Just close your eyes and try to think it over,” Kris said and Gerard laughed out loud. “Oh shut the hell up,” Kris glared at him, but there wasn't real heat in it.
Adam took a deep breath. “This is for real, right? You are not kidding and you are werewolves and soulmates and I am – not.”
“It's not that simple. Not in this case,” Kris said.
Adam looked at Gerard. “This is why you said he couldn't choose me. It's because I am not – what? Pack?”
“We don't have all the answers. I sure as hell have less than Kris, but, yeah, essentially, yes. He's afraid of hurting you.”
“What?” He looked at Kris then. Kris was like half his size and Adam could hold Kris down with one hand.
Kris blushed. It was freaking adorable. “We claim.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means,” Gerard said matter of fact, “that Kris will top the hell out of you if you're going to, you know...join whatever we're building here.”
Adam couldn't believe they were having this conversation in Kris' parent's freaking back garden. His parents could probably hear it.
“I am processing here. Can your parents hear this?” he asked Kris.
“You don't even believe in god,” Gerard pointed out.
“Not the point, Gerard.” Adam ripped out a few blades of grass and played with them. He didn't know what to think. Having a poly relationship with Kris and Gerard was one thing, having a poly relationship with werewolves that was also monogamous was a whole other. Not that Adam would want anything else than monogamous, but still. This wouldn't be in any way like Adam's previous relationships. “What about you?” he made himself ask Gerard.
“I'm good either way,” Gerard said.
“So, it's only Kris who'll want to top the hell out of me?”
“Because he is your soulmate and I am not.”
Which made Adam's brain hurt. How could someone have two soulmates? That sure as hell wasn't the common concept.
“Not like every time,” Kris said.
Adam looked at him and thought that it could be pretty fucking hot, actually, to have Kris all hot and bothered and toppy.
“Don't do that,” Kris hissed.
“Entertain fantasies like that,” Gerard said. “We, uhm...can smell how turned on you are by this. It doesn't help matters, right now that is.”
Adam thought it did, actually.
“My parents can smell it too, Adam.”
“Right,” Adam said.
“So, are you staying a few days or are you flying back home,” his mom asked. She wasn't trying to hide any of the happiness or glee she was feeling over this. His parents might have warned him away from stray wolves and humans when he was a teenager but they did trust Kris to make the right decisions. He took the bowl with salad from her and smiled.
“We're going to fly home, soon.”
“Ah,” she said. “You want to run with Gerard.” Run sounded like something else entirely the way she said it. He blushed.
“I am happy for you, but I am bemoaning the loss of cute kids.”
“We could adopt,” Gerard said from the door. “I heard stories about werewolves being hunted in Romania. I don't think Adam would mind.”
His mother's face got sad a bit at the mention of hunters, but she smiled at Gerard, because of course Gerard would want to save orphaned werewolf-cubs. That was just the person he was.
“Of course he wouldn't,” his mother said and she believed it too. She had always liked Adam. He always felt like a part of their family. No matter the differences. “Is he going to stay inside or-” she left the sentence unfinished.
Kris didn't know. Adam was just coming to terms with all of this and well, he and Gerard didn't want to overwhelm him with transformation.
“We'll see,” Gerard said.
She nodded. “Grab the plates, dear?”
Gerard felt a bit like coming here was like coming home. Like connecting the past to the present and beyond to a future that could make him happy. He was sketching on Kris' bed in the room he grew up in as Adam came in. He couldn't hid anywhere in a house full of wolves.
“So, what are you two doing this evening?” It was full moon and of course they would run.
“Running. There is a forest-”
“I know. Funny thing is I never knew before how very significant it was, you know?”
“And still a part of you made you buy a house with a cluster of trees, that could be called a small forest,” Gerard answered, he smudged a shadow on paper Adam's face and looked up at the real him.
“Hmm. Maybe this place somehow got to me, maybe I wanted a home where Kris could feel at home too,” Adam mused.
It was pretty much that, Gerard thought. Adam came closer and looked over Gerard's shoulder at the picture. It was in his 'Ways of the Wolf' sketchbook that he had since his first transformation. He doodled now and then in it for years now. The pictures got better and less dark too.
“These are you and Kris,” Adam said running a finger over the two curled up wolves. “And this is me and this is our couch,” he finished.
“Yeah,” Gerard said. He could smell happiness on Adam. It wasn't what he thought he would want once he grew up, Gerard knew, but then, it hadn't been what Gerard had wanted either, but it was something that made them happy. Something that could work. “One day I'm going to put a cub there, there between you and the cushion,” Gerard added, running his fingers over that empty space.
“You want kids, right?” Gerard asked. “Because I always wanted kids, but didn't know if I should, because you know...I was a teenage werewolf.”
Adam laughed softly and it made Gerard shiver. He tangled their fingers together and Gerard craned his neck to look at him.
“Yeah, I want kids,” he said softly and then he leaned down and kissed Gerard. It was different from how Kris kissed, but it was still possessive in its own way and gave Gerard all kinds of feelings.
“I've read up on wolves and werewolves. So the stamina thing? Fiction or fact?”
Gerard bit Adam's finger softly. “Wanna find out?”
“Yeah,” Adam breathed, but Gerard already knew that.
“Kris is back,” Gerard said, kissing Adam again.
“Aren't,” Gerard answered grinning just as Kris ran up the stairs.