Work Text:
The open box is on the small dining room table. The rest of the table is set for a romantic dinner.
But the ring box is opened, haunting the room. Spilling unease everywhere.
It’s not as it should be. Not as the box, or the man at the jeweler’s store suggested.
Not the moment I’ll live to remember. At least not in a happy way.
#victorscreation #love is not a victory march. it’s a cold and broken hallelujah #love hurts #i choose vodka. and chaka khan
draft of cerebro’s tumblr
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Erik Lehnsherr (magneticsolitude@gmail.com)
to Raven (notyourpet@gmail.com)
Subject: I’m an idiot, I know
Date: Sat, June 4 , 2011 12:24 AM
R--
I’m sure you know exactly what happened Friday night. But I also know that Charles was probably sobbing into a bottle of Oban while hiccupping the details of how I walked out.
Hear me out, will you?
It isn’t that I don’t want to marry him. You have to know that. It’s just that I don’t quite know why he wants to marry me.
I don’t get it. I don’t get what he sees in me? I never have, but I kept it to myself. Because, well.
Because.
I’m not a likeable guy. I’m grumpy. I snap at people when they say asinine things. I have no tolerance for stupidity.
Fuck, I’m just not a guy you want to marry.
Trust me, I love him.
Just, give me time.
Can you tell him that for me?
E
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Erik Lehnsherr (magneticsolitude@gmail.com)
to Raven (notyourpet@gmail.com)
Subject: I’m an idiot, I know
Date: Sat, June 4 , 2011 1:47 AM
Hopefully you’re still with Charles, but know I just took a long walk through the city, trying to piece through it all.
It’s hard to put into words, but he’s all I have here. I just can’t tell if that’s all I need.
There’s a feeling like all I have here in New York is his. His friends. His apartment.
Work isn’t even worth mentioning. It’s just what helps to pay the bills.
Please tell him to let me think. Let me be alone for a bit. Think about the difference between life with him and life without him.
E
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Charles Xavier (cerebro@gmail.com)
to Hank McCoy (quixotic@gmail.com)
Subject: Dinner tonight?
Date: Sun, Jun 5, 2011 2:08 AM
Hank,
Raven told you all about my dinner on Friday I’m sure.
Are you free to talk about this? I just don’t want to listen to Raven moan as I moan--at least not anymore than she already did Friday night. Normally, I’d go to Erik, but well.
So, are you free for dinner tonight?
There’s just so much I need to say, and it isn’t really something for LJ or tumblr. No one reads texts posts anyway.
Perspective, if you don’t mind. Feel free to say no, of course.
CX
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Hank McCoy (quixotic@gmail.com)
to Charles Xavier (cerebro@gmail.com)
Subject: Dinner tonight?
Date: Sun, Jun 5, 2011 10:13 AM
Dinner is fine, Charles.
You’re welcome to post whatever you want. It’s your space. Though Erik would read anything on either place, so maybe it’s best for this to be said over dinner. Not unless he Tumblr saves you for a while. I can’t quite see him doing that though.
Or passive aggressive tags? You know you love those on Doctor Who posts.
Either way, he’ll find out. Either he’ll read them and know, or someone else you both know will say something.
Start getting it out in person before going to the internet. No one likes a flame war between lovers.
H
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Mood: morose and plenty of other things
Listening: Dave Matthews Band - The Space Between
Oh, fuck you iTunes!
Today, 8 June, I moved out of the place I’d thought would be my home. It just didn’t feel right still having all my things there.
I’d already been living out of a hotel for the last few days. Emma kicked me out after the first night.
She needed to.
But...
...there’s nowhere else I want to be.
How do I tell him that though?
victorscreation’s livejournal
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if you’d surrender
give up some more
weren’t you adored?
foo fighters - walking after you
#dave grohl how do you do that? #it’s been two more weeks since he left and i’m still miserable. #where is my sad fm for the over thirties? #i know this is about x-files. though it feels too real for me. #still not over sharon and the steve thing. #or his awful sweaters. #why is my life the gay version of bridget jones’ diary?
cerebro’s tumblr post. 17 june, 2011
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Erik Lehnsherr (magneticsolitude@gmail.com)
to Charles Xavier (cerebro@gmail.com)
Subject: Sorry
Date: Sat, June 18, 2011 6:57 AM
Raven’s been telling me I should explain myself, but I don’t know that I really can.
Know that I love you, without question. Your proposal came, well, as a shock. It’s only been seven months.
I’m not the easiest person to get alone with, I know you know that. (Took Emma the better part of two years before we were actually friends.)
Steps that big. I just need time.
To myself. To figure out what we are together.
If you can promise me the time I need for that, then I hope we’ll go out for drinks some day next month, and just talk. Like it was in December.
Do not doubt that I love you, though. Never doubt that.
Yours,
Erik
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On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are how fragile we are
Sting isn’t wrong at all.
draft of victorscreation’s tumblr
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Mood: blank
Listening: The Delgados - The Light Before We Land
E just sent me an email. I’m sitting here with at least three fingers of Oban, trying to process what it means.
Time? He needs time? How can I give him that when every moment we’re not together feels like Hell?
I know it was the right decision--the ring is everything I want to give to him. It’s right.
Was moving in after five dates not a sign that this was serious to me? I just don’t know what I can say to make him see just how much I need him. How much we’re not the same without each other.
Hank’s been complaining that work has suffered since the other month. I’d rather blame July in New York. Hasn’t worked so far.
Just. I miss him.
Does that make me weak?
Tell me no.
cerebro’s livejournal entry 17 July, 2011.
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Erik Lehnsherr (magneticsolitude@gmail.com)
to Charles Xavier (cerebro@gmail.com)
Subject: Sorry, again
Date: Fri, July 29, 2011 6:03 AM
I’m taking the radio silence as one of two things: you hate me and are busying finding a voodoo specialist in the boroughs to build a doll in my image, or you’re just as broken up by all of this as I am.
I hope it’s the latter. Just, still know I miss you. I miss your warmth in our bed. I miss the way you bite at my earlobe in the mornings when you want to have sex.
I miss your laugh, bright and airy as Raven said something impossible about Mendel.
I just miss you.
Just talk, Charles.
E
PS: Your eyes haunt me every night as I sleep.
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will you stay with me?
will you be my love?
fields of gold - sting
#victorscreation #he sent another email. yes. you can tell how i’m handling it. #more vodka and chaka khan. #raven’s said she won’t deal with these anymore. #sorry tumblr. i know you’ll just let me word vomit. #though i have lost five followers since all this started. #sorry tumblr?
cerebro’s tumblr, 8 August, 2011.
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Raven: this has gone on too long.
Hank: You’re telling me. C’s work at the lab has been so bad lately. He’s just missing the bigger picture with the research.
Raven: erik’s texts haven’t been much better. i think he fried some more soc prof’s computer the other day on the help desk.
Hank: Ouch.
Raven: so basically each of them is fucked.
Hank: Pretty much, yes.
Raven: so how are we going to fix it?
Hank: Why are we going to do anything?
Raven: i’m not letting charles wallow anymore than i have to. do you know how many bottles of oban i’ve seen him go through? it’s not pretty.
Hank: So tell him to get his head out of his ass and talk to Erik. He hasn’t said anything about him in weeks at the lab.
Raven: i’m tired of playing the intermediary, hank.
Hank: So I have to do it?
Raven: that’s why you’re my guy, right?
Hank: I took him out to dinner after the break-up. I read through all the emo posts on LJ and tumblr. What the hell else am I supposed to do?
Raven: be a friend and get him drunk to find someone else.
Hank: You know that won’t work.
Hank: The ring is still sitting in his desk.
Raven: really? i thought he would have taken it back?
Hank: You really think he’d give up on Erik?
Raven: you have a point.
Raven: a very small point.
Hank: We’ve just got to get them actually talking.
Hank: Charles, if I believe tumblr, hasn’t responded to Erik’s email from the other week. That can’t be good.
Raven: so...
Hank: We get him to respond.
Raven: and admit that he fell for the guy in less than five dates?
Hank: It’s true. Why is he hiding it?
Raven: erik said something about not being likeable. i think charles is trying to prove the point by being aloof.
Hank: It’s not aloof at this point; Charles is in a river in Egypt called denial.
Raven: funny, honey.
Hank: Don’t rhyme. It’s horrible.
Raven: but puns are fine?
Hank: Yes, puns are always acceptable.
gchat log August 12, 2011.
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I miss you.
#cerebro. #will you email me back. please? #just tell me you’re okay. #i hate being this passive aggressive. #emma’s gonna have a laugh at me.
victorscreation’s tumblr 19 August, 2011.
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Skin and Bones - JET
He’s still waiting. Just reach out to him.
#cerebro #i miss you.
victorscreation’s tumblr 23 August, 2011.
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Get Over It - OK Go
I will not.
#cerebro #i miss you.
victorscreation’s tumblr 30 August, 2011.
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Raven: talk to erik for the love of all that is good and holy. his tumblr posts are driving me crazy.
text message to Charles on 31 August, 2011
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Emma: Get your head out of your ass. Stop being passive aggressive. Erik. I’m sick of it.
text message to Erik on 31 August, 2011
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Erik: He’s not responding. What the fuck should I do?
text message to Emma on 31 August, 2011
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Emma: Wah, Aunt Abby, I broke Charles' heart and now he doesn't want to talk to me, what did I do wrong.
Emma: Aunt Abby, that Charles is so meaaaaan.
Emma: *saaaaad sooooongs because Erik is saaaaaaaad he is an asshole*
Emma: MAN UP and see him face to face, you DICK!
text messages to Erik on 1 September, 2011
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For I'll know deep in my mind
The love of me I've left behind Cause I'll be loving you always
As (Until the Day) - George Michael featuring Mary J Blige
#cerebro #i miss you.
victorscreation’s tumblr 14 September, 2011.
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#cerebro #i miss you.
victorscreation’s tumblr 21 September, 2011.
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Emma: You’re a fuckin’ stalker, Lehnsherr. Why am I not surprised?
text message to Erik on 21 September, 2011
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Hank: Dude! Creepy photo is creepy.
text message to Erik on 21 September 2011
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Emma Frost (iamthefrostqueen@gmail.com)
to Hank McCoy (quixotic@gmail.com), Raven (notyourpet@gmail.com)
Subject: How do we stop this crazy train?
Date: Thu, Sept 22, 2011 8:53 AM
Thank you both for showing me the buckets of crazy from Erik right now. Normally I’d let him be an asshole, but this is just going too far.
I leave it to you both to come to some solution to fix his crazy from infecting others. Or before Charles just won’t talk to him again.
Good luck.
Em
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Hank: Just talk to him. I’m pretty sure you tumblr savior’ed him, but man, it’s bad. Talking worse than your posts.
text message to Charles 23 September, 2011
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If it can be broke then it can be fixed, if it can be fused then it can be split
It's all under control
If it can be lost then it can be won, if it can be touched then it can be turned
All you need is time
Pioneers - Bloc Party
#cerebro #i miss you. #all i need is time. #all i need is. time. time. time.
victorscreation’s tumblr 10 October, 2011.
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Raven: this is pathetic. put him out of his misery or something. all he does is whine. his heart is on his sleeve all over tumblr. can’t take anymore.
text message to Charles on 10 October 2011
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Emma: STOP BEFORE I SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE!
text message to Erik on 10 October 2011
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Erik: It would ruin your dress, so that won’t happen. You hate blood.
Erik: Az and Janos aren’t here to do it either.
text messages to Emma on 11 October, 2011
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Emma: I know where you sleep, Lehnsherr. I am not afraid to use that information.
text message to Erik on 12 October, 2011
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Cake, you’re wrong. Surviving isn’t worth it.
#cerebro. #i mss you. #desire is all i have. all i have left. #i will not survive without you. #my life is yours as much as it is mine.
victorscreation’s tumblr 24 October, 2011.
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Love really does fuckin’ hurt.
#cerebro #i miss you. #why does love hurts have to play at work? #isn’t it bad enough for the coeds to hear about it? #damian rice #this is a sign we need to kill the music. #kill all the joy.
victorscreation’s tumblr 2 November, 2011.
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i’m on the road to wherever you are
Scissor Sisters - Land of a Thousand Words
#cerebro #i miss you.
victorscreation’s tumblr 11 November, 2011.
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Hank: CALL HIM!
text message to Erik 12 November 2011
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Hank McCoy (quixoitic@gmail.com)
to Erik Lehnsherr (magneticsolitude@gmail.com)
Subject: you left him, dumbass
Date: Sun. Nov 13, 2011, 12:21 AM
Enough is enough.
You told him to give you space in June. He’s given you that.
Your tumblr posts read like an emotionally stunted tween girl who can’t have Justin Bieber.
Either find him, tell him what you’re feeling or get the fuck over it. Just stop the emotionally manipulative bullshit ~feels on tumblr.
Hank
Cosigned Emma and Raven
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Tears For Fears - Head Over Heels by manon42
don’t take my heart
don’t break my heart
don’t throw it away
#cerebro #i miss you.
victorscreation’s tumblr 24 November, 2011.
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Charles Xavier (cerebro@gmail.com)
to Erik Lehnsherr (magneticsolitude@gmail.com)
Subject: Are you really sorry?
Date: Thurs, Dec. 1, 2011 12:04 PM
Erik,
Hank and Raven tell me you’ve been spilling your feelings all over tumblr. Is that true? (I should tell you, I blocked your name via tumblr savior. I just couldn’t take it to look at your posts knowing that I couldn’t see you at home.)
Last week wasn’t the same without you, you know. Dinner was too quiet. I think I’m a bit too quiet. Raven tells me I am.
You’re an asshole for what you did. I’m sure you’ve heard it myriad times before and will continue to hear it myriad times after. But, it seems that you’ve been emotionally open all over tumblr so I suppose it’s time I said something.
I miss you. I do.
I love you.
Robert Smith had it right. I will always love you.
I think I’m ready. I’d love to have that drink, or dinner soon.
You can tell me all about these posts that have been blocked on my feed for months.
All of them..
Charles
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Erik Lehnsherr (magneticsolitude@gmail.com)
to Charles Xavier (cerebro@gmail.com)
Subject: Are you really sorry?
Date: Fri, Dec 2, 2011 12:09 AM
Charles,
If you don’t believe them, I think we have much bigger issues ahead of us.
Hank and Raven are right. I’ve been trying to express myself more. Since it seems I wasn’t clear back in June.
Charles, I love you. I do. It was so quick--everything was. You know that. One minute I was fixing your computer and the next minute you had me against the wall in the bathroom pulling down my pants.
But like I said before. I’m not great with feelings. Sex, yes. I can’t help but miss your touch. Your tongue. Your body.
I’m not the sort of guy to tell everyone what I’m thinking, until recently. Being able to express those emotions--it’s strange. Though I suppose I was using someone else to do it (lyrics and songs are wonderful things).
Your proposal, which was honest and earnest, was not something I expected. I figured we’d spend more time getting to know each other. More time talking. More time having our ways with each other.
So, I’m sorry for saying no so quickly.
Dinner, or drinks, sounds great. Are you free next week?
E
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I’ve been quiet on one subject for months. Turns out I just needed to actually read what he was saying.
#victorscreation #things are looking up. #thank you for the emotional bullshit
cerebro’s tumblr post. 17 december, 2011 11:38 PM
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Mood: bouncy
Listening: Sting - If I Ever Lose My Faith In You
Dinner was great.
In fact, this is going to be short. Erik’s in the bathroom.
;)
cerebro’s livejournal entry on 9 December, 2011
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It sat on the table tonight. Not a surprise this time. Happily, I took it.
I’m engaged, tumblr.
So all those posts, while cerebro didn’t see them (we’ll forgive him right?), were still useful.
I’m engaged.
Welcome to the rest of my life.
Na na, na na na...
#cerebro #i miss you. but now you’re mine. mine. #you’ll be by my side. always. forever. #empty days are long gone.
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Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier are proud to announce their engagement. The couple met nearly a year ago at Columbia University, where they are both employed, as Erik quickly saved Charles’ post-doctoral research on the adaptations and mutations in human genes from a nearly corrupted hard drive.
The couple took an extended time apart, though they admit now that the time apart was what they needed. “I needed time to grow,” Erik admits, escaping a swat of Charles’ hand at the story over cups of coffee at a cafe near the Upper East Side. It doesn’t sound nearly as long as they make it out to be, but there’s a heavy sigh from both of them as they start to talk about music and lyrics.
The couple plans to get married on 6 July 2012 at Charles’ family home in Westchester County.