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Arthur in Wonderland

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Leaning against the wall, Arthur pressed his cheek to the window frame and watched the street from the narrow slit he'd deliberately left when he boarded it up. Below, the endless tide of kittens continued to gambol inexorably onwards down the asphalt and pavement, mewling and stumbling blindly over each other and into walls, scrambling through the gutters. Every now and again, a luminous white unicorn pranced lightly through the furry mass of tiny bodies, somehow managing to avoid stepping on any of them. High overhead, a large hare flew in swooping circles through the sky, screaming.

The door creaked open, and Merlin crossed the room to join him on the... bed or overstuffed chair, he hadn't decided which it was yet, because the last time they'd holed up here, he hadn't even stayed long enough to sit down and he couldn't recall the layout of the room under the insane images that overlaid his vision. Right now, it was just a snoring tiger skin rug-cum-hammock. Snoring, really. But it was pleasant enough to sit or lie on while he waited out the curse.

Merlin was a warm, solid weight against Arthur's side, comforting and reassuringly real, but Arthur did his level best to avoid paying him too much mind in favour of watching the window, because at this point, Merlin looked and felt like nothing so much as a large, wet sea-creature with far too many sinuous arms and rows of round suckers running down their lengths. One arm twined with delicate strength around his waist, another draped over his knee, and even through his shirt and jeans, he could feel the suckers latch on and release his skin in a ripple of circular, open-mouthed kisses. He shivered involuntarily, and reconsidered his decision to ignore Merlin.

"Sorry," Merlin murmured, and yet another wet, slick tentacle stroked his neck, suckers tugging softly at the sensitive skin at his nape. "I did tell you to avoid that crack on the road. I think there must be more of Morgana's magical traps than real cracks in the city now. If I could just find out how she's setting and powering them..." He sighed, and the tentacle began to suck hickeys into Arthur's collarbone as it crept down the neck of his shirt.

Arthur debated with himself whether he should push Merlin away or take his shirt off to feel it better. Oblivious to the activities of his errant arms, Merlin sighed and the tentacle on his knee edged up his thigh. Arthur hissed, and discreetly spread his legs a little wider to give it more room to work. "Mm-hmm," he answered, non-committal and hoping he sounded bored and uninterested in the lecture rather than on the verge of moaning. He dug his fingers into the furry tiger pelt under them, and the tiger-skin purred harder. The walls started to gleam with clear slime, as though sweating lubricant.

The tentacle on his thigh was nearly at his crotch now. Arthur wondered if it would be too obvious if he unzipped his jeans. His toes curled as Merlin patted the woefully constricted bulge in his excessively tight jeans, oh, the price of vanity. It settled along the straining material beside the zip, suckers feeling their way down to fit as closely against his hot cock as possible. "At least the effects should have worn off in another eight or so hours. What are you seeing now?"

He could tell the truth. He could make up something plausible-sounding and not completely insane. He could beg off the cursework-analysis and try to sleep it off. Or he could tell Merlin to forget the curse and concentrate on initiating him into the joys of apparent tentacle sex, even if he wasn't sure what Merlin was getting out of it. It might be completely innocent touches that the curse was making him interpret as this tentative molestation.

"You're an octopus, fuck!" was what he blurted when the tentacle on his crotch attempted to suck his cock out through the jeans, and then he whimpered.

"What?" Merlin startled, and all his arms fell away from Arthur at once, and Arthur was really, really sorry about that.
"I, what do you mean?"

"I can't stand this anymore, I really need to take my clothes off," he said a little desperately, and started struggling with the buttons on his shirt. "Come on, help me," he prompted as Merlin stared at him and squirmed in confusion. He ripped the shirt off and flung it away, and then there were his jeans. He got them open and lifted his hips to get them down far enough to wriggle out completely, while Merlin's mouth-like funnel opened and closed silently, as though he were panting. Once he was freed from the jeans, he covered his aching cock with his hands and moaned in relief, while Merlin turned several colours in quick succession, red and blue and gold and red. "There are kittens everywhere outside, and unicorns, and you're an octopus and you've been groping me all evening," Arthur gasped out, trying to refrain from wanking right in front of Merlin and coming on his face.

"I'm sorry! I didn't..." Merlin had frozen in place, unable to take his eyes off Arthur's hands, but two sly tentacles had returned to hold Arthur's ankles gently. Arthur grinned.

"Don't be sorry, just stop teasing." he told Merlin, grabbed two flailing tentacles, and pulled Merlin on top of him.