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All the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me

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There was one rule that the clave had put in place that was completely unbreakable. It wasn't like it was made for frivolity, it was made to protect the shadowhunters who were involved in the parabati bond. It was the 'sibling' bond that shadowhunters only had with one other person, the rune cast to make the bond didn't fade until one person died. It was unbreakable, you swore your life to protect your parabati, to always have their backs, to look after them and to work together with them as a team. It was something that every shadowhunter wanted, everyone wanted to have a parabati and to be assigned with them. So in that sense Seungyeon knew she was lucky to be based in Seoul with Chonnasorn, or just Sorn, who was her parabati. They were bonded for life and there was nothing that would break them apart.

Well other than the fact that Seungyeon was falling in love with Sorn. That was ultimately the problem, it was a crime to love your parabati, the clave had very strict punishments for people who broke that law but Seungyeon couldn't help herself. The clave - and shadowhunters in general weren't very accepting of gay or lesbian shadowhunters - but even without that Seungyeon would be risking her and Sorn's life if she ever acted on her feelings or said anything. Sorn knew her better than anyone else in the world, and that was all part of the problem. Sorn could tell that Seungyeon was being different.

The institute in Seoul was pretty nice, they'd been stationed in Pattaya, and Seungyeon missed the beach and the water but that didn't mean she didn't like the cityscape of Seoul. It was fun and there was always something going on. Much like Pattaya there was a big nightlife scene - which was a hotbed for downworlders, so there was always work to do and it meant they got to get dressed up a lot, which was always fun. Seungyeon sighed looking at herself in the mirror, she'd been told that there were going to be some new guests coming, shadowhunters (obviously), but she wasn't sure if it was family, or a group of friends. She didn't care but they had to make a good impression.

Seungyeon walked out to find Sorn sat on one of the plush chairs they had in their library, she went to join her, trying not to think about how tight Sorn's dress was, and how her thighs looked with one crossed over the other. She wanted to get between them, but she couldn't. She couldn't think about her parabati that way. She wondered sometimes if Sorn was more angel than human. All shadowhuners were half angel, half human but she was pretty sure that Sorn was more angel than anything, she was beautiful and radiant. She was everything Seungyeon wanted, but she was everything she couldn't have.

They didn't know what kind of people were coming, other than they were also Shadowhunters. There had been a lot of problems with downworlder activity in Seoul and it was starting to cause a huge issue for the very few shadow hunters that had been stationed in Seoul. Well the people stationed in Seoul were Seungyeon, Sorn and the institute leader Sunggyu and his parabati Woohyun - who was half fay so could never go to ask the Seelie kingdom for any help as he was at risk of ending up joining the hunt. Seoungyeon was secretly quite happy of that, she didn't want to end up owing the Seelie kingdom a favour - back when she had been in Thailand, they institute had ended up owing the Seelie people a favour and it had not been pretty.


She didn't even get up when she heard people arrive, she wasn't that interested in meeting them and honestly, it was just going to be a pain to have people around them. It was more people who might notice her breaking the clave laws and therefore it was far more dangerous.


Sorn, however, wanted to meet them, she was exited for pretty much nothing. There was no reason to get so excited about other shadowhunters. Seungyeon followed Sorn and was greeted by two boys around their age, one Thai, one Korean just like them. Sorn instantly slipped into her native Thai and began talking with the Thai boy. Seungyeon smiled, her years living with Sorn in Thailand meant she was quite proficient although she hadn't used it for a long time and was a little rusty.


That night, Sorn got into Seungyeon's bed and smiled at her, "So the two new shadowhunters are night right?" she said with a little smile. Seungyeon shook her head.


"You only just met him, there is no way you can already know you like him." She hated knowing her best friend so well, that she knew when the other was crushing on someone. She knew that Sorn was pretty, and the other shadowhunter - BamBam - would be stupid not to feel the same way. Seungyeon didn't believe in love at first sight but Sorn did, she was the most intense kind of hopeless romantic.


It didn't take very long for Seungyeon and Sorn to find out if BamBam liked Sorn back. They were pretty much inseparable. Even when it came to doing things like trying to research the surge of downworlders, it was like their parabati were completely forgotten. Seungyeon was so conflicted, she knew she should have been happy for her best friend but she was hurting so much.


It hurt, more than when she'd gotten bitten by a demon and the healing runes weren't working. She had to sit there and watch BamBam and Sorn, holding hands, kissing, falling more and more in love each day and she was just left alone. Her parabati was falling in love and instead of being happy for her, instead of being so excited that her 'sister' was so happy she was devestated, it hurt. She just wanted to scream and it was making her angry. She noticed a few looks from BamBam's parabati.


She found herself being cornered by him, one morning after BamBam and Sorn had gone to do some research on the downworlder ring that was causing all the problems in Seoul and had resulted in them coming, it wasn't going well and Seungyeon didn't hold out much hope that they would find any information about it from their research. "So, how long have you been in love with Sorn?" Yugyeom said, Seungyeon just looked at him.


"She's my parabati." Seungyeon said to him, "Think about what you're suggesting"


"I know exactly what I'm suggesting." Yugyeom said with a small shrug, "You know what I'm saying, and you know you're in love with her, and her relationship with BamBam bothers you." Yugyeom shook his head a little, "as a warning she's going to try and set us up because she thinks that you're sad because you're single."


"That's not it." Seungyeon said quietly. She couldn't admit that she really was in love with her parabati, but she couldn't just let Yugyeom be there without implicating herself in any way. She couldn't risk the punishment of the clave coming down on them. She couldn't lie to the silent brothers, it was impossible and she didn't want them in her mind reading her private thoughts, hearing her fantasies about having the girl between her legs.


"I'm not going to tell the clave." Yugyeom said quietly, "I mean I don't, like BamBam but my brother fell in love with his parabati and he and her tried to run away together. I know what the clave does to people who break the law, and I know how scared you must be but you have to let her go."


"I know Yugyeom" Seungyeon said quietly. "I am trying. But if you haven't noticed we don't exactly see anyone other than each other and you guys. I don't know, what am I supposed to do? I just want to forget this, forget her and pretend that there is nothing that could risk our safety." Seungyeon said with a small shake of her head, "and we have a much bigger problem of the infestation of downworlders who are coming into Seoul more frequently, soon more shadowhunters will come and possibly the clave." Seungyeon sighed a little.


"Hey, the clave might bring hot girls and then you can forget Sorn." Yugyeom said with a small smile, Seungyeon knew he was trying to cheer her up.


Sunggyu, the head of the institute, came into the room Seungyeon and Yugyeom were sat in. He looked at Seungyeon and gave her a small smile, "Seungyeon, are you still in contact with that wolf?"


"Seulgi, yeah, why, is there are problem with the packs around here?" Seungyeon said worry tainting her words a little. She really loved hanging out with Seulgi, they got on well and she knew that the other had a few problems when it came to the pack and the pack system.


"I need you to talk to her, see what the wolves know." Sunggyu said shaking his head a little, "Look, we're not getting anywhere so we're going to have to look at our alliances."


"OK, I've got it." Seungyeon said, "I'll invite Seulgi out and ask her."


Seulgi was one of the first people that Seungyeon met when her and Sorn moved to Seoul from Thailand. She was also Korean - and she was werewolf. She wasn't a pack leader but Seungyeon always got the impression that the other girl wanted to be the pack leader badly. She liked the werewolf, it was easier to find out information if she had contacts with the downworlders who had signed treaties. And the sooner she got rid of the boys who were staying the sooner it would be back to her and Sorn, she knew it wasn't the right way to think but her heart broke at the thought of them together. She didn't want BamBam to become a permanent add-on to their group. They were a duo, they didn't need anyone else - well Seungyeon thought that.


She smiled when she saw Seulgi standing at the top of the stairs at the subway station. She held out her hand and pulled Seungyeon with her into the crowded streets of Edae. Seulgi smiled at Seungyeon, "I know why you're here." she said as she started to weave through the streets pulling Seungyeon along with her. "But to get the information you have to go on a date with me" she said with a teasing voice.


Seungyeon had known from almost the moment she met Seulgi that the girl was a lesbian. And she knew that Seulgi had sensed it about her. She smiled and agreed to the date - it was going to be fun, and if Sorn was going to date other people, then so could she. It saved her from having to sit writing sad songs in her heart while the girl she loved was loving someone else.


It wasn't everyday that Seungyeon had her breath taken away, she liked being around Seulgi, she made her feel comfortable. She liked the werewolf. She was different to most people that Seungyeon met in her day to day life. She didn't really know if she'd never have the chance to meet anyone like Seulgi ever again. She liked how the other held her hand just that little bit too tightly. Seulgi was something different, and Seungyeon appreciated that.


Seungyeon followed the other to Paris Baguette and they sat and ate strawberry topped cakes together, between laughs. Seulgi was feisty but she also had this undeniably cute side to her. Seungyeon really did wish that she was in love with Seulgi, that she didn't just feel like she was going through the motions, because Seulgi deserved everything and more. She wanted to be hopelessly in love with the wolf but she knew she couldn't make herself love someone.


Seungyeon kissed Seulgi like she was going to die when they got out of the cafe. Seulgi smiled a little and brought Seungyeon back to her place, it was pretty nice. It was not a grandiose as the institute but it seemed to suit Seulgi perfectly. She was a normal girl, well apart from the whole turning into a wolf thing, but asides from that she was just a normal girl, she had college and Seungyeon was sometimes a little bit jealous that she had to live such a different life to the other people.


Seulgi kissed Seungyeon as they went to her bedroom, and then it all went too fast. It was what Seungyeon wanted but deep down she knew that she wanted it to be her and Sorn more than she wanted it to be with Seulgi. Seulgi was beautiful and breath-taking, her body bare with Seungyeon's fingers slowly moving inside her. It was something that Seungyeon had never imagined she would ever get to see.


Seulgi just looked at Seungyeon as they came down from their highs. "I know you don't love me." she said quietly. Seulgi got up out of the bed, Seungyeon watched as she walked naked to her bathroom, and Seungyeon sat up in the bed. She felt bad, she knew that it wasn't because she liked the other so much that she'd come home with her and slept with her. She knew that Seulgi really liked her and it made her feel awful that she had used her like that. Seulgi came back in, her hair cascading down her upper body, covering her breasts, she'd put her panties back on. "Did you think of her?" She said quietly when she got back into bed. "I just, I want to know."


Seungyeon shook her head, "No." She lent to give the other a kiss. "I wasn't thinking of anyone but you." she said honestly. She kissed the other again. "I'm sorry." she said quietly, she felt bad for the fact that she didn't love Seulgi, and that it was obvious to the other. She didn't want to say it, she didn't want to talk about it, she just wanted to pretend it was nothing.


Seulgi smiled a little at Seungyeon, "Look, I don't know who she is, but she's really lucky if she can have all of you." Seulgi said with a small smile. Seungyeon gave her a little smile and tried not to feel bad about it all. Seulgi rested against Seungyeon and began tracing over the runes with her finger. "What is this one?" she said tracing the shape over and over again.


"Parabati." She said quietly. "it bonds me and Sorn together for life. It's the strongest rune and it only fades when one of us dies." She said quietly, it hurt to think that one day one of them will have nothing where that rune sat. That one day one of them would have to leave the other behind and there was nothing they could do to stop it. There was no way of stopping death.


Seulgi smiled, "I wish we had parabatis, it would be nice to know that someone would always have my back."


"You have a pack."


"It's not the same, wolves get kicked out, lives get ruined. Irene ran off last year with some boy. And we don't know where she is, and then Wendy went to America or Canada because she found a new pack to run with. Whatever is happening in Seoul with the downworlders is ruining pack dynamics, soon we'll have the smallest wolf pack in the country." Seulgi practically emitted sadness, and Seungyeon knew the pack was a type of family, that they were tied together with familial love like parabati's and other shadowhunters from the old families. Packs would look after each other no matter what.


"Do you know anything?" She asked quietly.


"Kyumin, head of the vampires, he knows more." Seulgi said quietly, "The alpha had a meeting with him earlier this week - and they are trying to work out what we can do. Wolves are going missing, so we can't just sit back and ignore it. We need to find out what is going on."


"Kyumin? He knows more?" Seungyeon repeated, "Is he the one..."


"Dating that day walking vampire, yes, Hanbyul." Seulgi said with a small smile. "You'll like Kyumin." She said with a small giggle. "But if you want you could also see the High Warlock, she lives in Gangnam, I can take you if you want."


"Are you close to her?" Seungyeon asked as she played a little with Seulgi's hair.


"Sunhwa, she's great." Seulgi smiled, "She's like totally married to this half fay, half shadow hunter, you might know him. Woohyun?"


"Oh I know him, he sometimes helps out at the institute, his parabati is the leader of the institute."


"Yeah well, Kyumin is a good place to start." Seulgi said quietly. "But he doesn't give out information for free." She took a deep breath, "You're going to have to give him someone."


"As in to become a vampire?"


"Yeah... Vampires are also going missing, he needs to keep his covern strong."


"You know I can't give him a shadowhunter." Seungyeon shook her head. "This is so pointless, if I can't even get information from him, then what is the point of going to see him?" She said as she got up, starting to pull her clothes on. She needed to get going if she was going to get anything done today.


It didn't take her long to get back to the institute to find Sorn sat in the library waiting for her. She sat down across from her parabati. "So, I went out with Seulgi today, and she told me the vampires know more, and the high warlock too, she knows a lot. So we should ask Sunggyu to ask his parabati to find out from her what is going on, Kyumin isn't a viable option."


"BamBam and I already talked to Hanbyul, he told me about what was going on. Apparently there is something going down tomorrow night in one of the downworlder clubs in Gangnam, and I was going to ask if you wanted to come with us to stake it out."


"We're just staking it out?" Seungyeon said raising her brow.


"Yes, we can't really make a move without having back-up. Hanbyul told me just how bad it is going to be." Sorn said with a small sigh, "but that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about."


"Yeah?" Seungyeon said quietly, "What is it that you want to talk about?"


"Well, I was thinking that maybe you should go out with someone." Sorn said looking at her hand and then looking back at her parabati with a small smile, "and you know, maybe you could invite Seulgi over sometime."


"Why..." Seungyeon said quietly.


"Well, she's your girlfriend right?" Sorn said with a shrug, "You text her all the time, and you hang out with her for hours and I assumed you two were together."


"But, I'm a shadowhunter" Seungyeon tried not to cry.


"And? You're a lesbian, but who cares? You're still so talented when it comes to runes, and really being a lesbian only affects who you're gonna end up with."


"You knew all along?"


"Of course, Seungyeon, you're my parabati, I know everything." She said with a cute laugh, "I know you're a lesbian, I know you're afraid of falling from a height and I know there is something between you and Seulgi."


Seungyeon had invited Seulgi to come out with them to the club, they weren't going to fight so there wasn't really a reason not to bring a partner, and she wanted to take the other out on a date and show her that she was trying to fall in love with her, but Seulgi hadn't answered the messages.


Seungyeon stood in the club watching Sorn, her dress was tight, she looked beautiful pressed against BamBam, smiling between the kisses they were sharing, breaking Seungyeon's heart with every single moment. Seungyeon just couldn't bring herself to be happy for Sorn.


Seulgi was at the club, Seungyeon noticed her at the bar, but they didn't even look at each other. It was clear to see that the other girl wasn't going to stick around not to be loved back. Seungyeon couldn't blame her. She couldn't blame anyone for not wanting to be with her when all she could think about was Sorn.


She should be happy, her parabati had found someone that made her happy, but she just couldn't. She would probably be heart broken forever. That was, if the clave didn't catch on.