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Playing Dress Up

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“Hey Dave, check it out.”

“… John, you do know you are the dorkiest person I’ve ever met, right?”

Dave just rolled his eyes behind his shades, not quite believing the “sight” in front of him. John was standing there at the doorframe, wearing his regular shorts and a white polo shirt far too big for him, while donning one of his brother’s extra shades and one of their many colorful hats. John naturally picked a blue one.

“Look at me, I’m Bro Strider and I’m made of pure, concentrated cool and irony! Get out of the way!” John smirked, gesturing as he spoke, guessing that was what “cool” people did.

“John, we are the only ones here and you are actually making me feel embarrassed. Stop that bullshit.” Dave rubbed his eyes, letting out a sigh.

“C’mon Dave, can’t you relax? I’m just having fun here!” John chuckled, pulling the shades down a bit. “Jesus, how does your brother even see anything through these?”

“Seeing through thick shades is something you have to learn since you are, like, just some baby that can’t do anything but roll on its back and droll all over.” Dave adjusted his own shades, still not quite believing that was John’s idea of “fun”. “Also, if Bro ever finds out you’ve been messing with his stuff, there’s literally no telling of what he can do.”

“Stop being such a killjoy! Or are you offended because I’m making fun of your brother?” John teased, letting out a chuckle.

“I couldn’t give two shits about what you say about him. Making fun of him or not, he’s still cooler than you could ever be Egbert.” Dave frowned. In a way, he was a bit offended. Even if deep inside he was amused by whatever John was trying to achieve with that.

“Well, I think these clothes make me look cool! I think I might be, like, two-hundred times cooler now I’m donning this rad attire!” John said, as he popped the collar up. “He wears it like this, right?”

“John, how would you feel if I came waltzing into your room wearing your father’s clothes?” Dave asked, still frowning. When John looked at him with a weird gleam to his eyes, it didn’t take long for Dave to connect the dots. “Oh no! I’m not doing that!”

“C’mon Dave, it’s going to be fun!” John kept trying to adjust the shirt’s color, but at some point he gave up. It got in his face too much.

“It’s going to be stupid, that’s what’s going to be.” Dave let out an exasperated sigh. Why was that every time John stuck an idea on his head, he wouldn’t let it go?

“Pleeease, just for a minute!” John’s voice was dripping with begging.

“Ugh, is this going to make you shut up?” Dave asked, rubbing his eyes again.



Dave walked out of his room and after a few minutes he came back with an unimpressed look on his face as he appeared on the door wearing an oversized shirt, a hastily knotted tie and with a fedora on his head. He was still wearing his shades though.

“There. Are you happy now?” Dave walked inside, arms crossing in front of his chest. “I’ll have you know I wasn’t happy rummaging through your father’s shit like some kind of burglar.”

“You forgot the pipe.” John teased, and immediately got a pillow thrown on his face.

“I’m not going to put my mouth where your dad’s mouth was.” Dave couldn’t believe John had just said that.

“Pfft, I’m just kidding. Now, do an impression of him!” John clasped his hands together, quite excited about the whole situation.

With a roll of his eyes, Dave decided it was better to comply with what John said, or else he would go on about that forever.

“Would you look at me, I’m fucking dapper as hell. Like, I walk into a room and boom! Everyone is swept off their feet by just how goddamn classy I am. Also, you want a cake? BAM! I have one right in my pocket, and it has fucking candles and everything. It’s like your birthday or some shit up in here.” Dave couldn’t help but gesture as he spoke. He thought John would end up making he do it all over again if he didn’t at least ‘pretend’ he was enthusiastic about it.

“Well, my dad doesn’t swear that much, but I guess you were really spot on.” John couldn’t hide the amusement on his face, his smile getting wider.

“I’m feeling like the fucking king of class over here.” Dave smirked at John, as he allowed his amused side take over. “I just need some smooth jazz playing as I walk into the room.”

“Hang on; I’ll beat-box some smooth jazz for you!” John said, putting his hands up.

“You can’t beat-box smooth jazz you idiot. Besides, my bro doesn’t do that. He raps. You can’t even get in character right.” Dave pointed at John, his other hand on his waist. “I expected more from the ‘King of Pranks’.”

“Well, I’m not the ‘King of Pranks’ right now; I’m the ever-cool Bro Strider and maybe your brother doesn’t know how to act!” It was John’s turn to frown.

“My brother could act if he wanted to. He can do whatever the hell he wants.” Dave’s tone of voice was full of pride. His admiration for his brother knew no bounds, and he truly believed he could do anything, without fail.

“Anyway, I’m really cool and you are really classy. What do we do now?” John asked, sitting on Dave’s bed.

“Hey, my job is to just stand around and look elegant. You are the one who needs to come up with the ideas.” Dave let himself fall on the chair near his computer, adjusting the fedora on his head. That thing was making the top of his head kind of hot.

“That’s not fair!”John protested, taking off the shades to look at Dave a bit better.

“Hey now, Striders don’t take off their shades for fucking no reason. You are seriously getting out of character now.” Dave couldn’t hold back the laugh that escaped his lips as he watched John get angrier.

“I’ll get out of character all I want!” John raised his voice almost unintentionally, as he sounded highly distressed. “And you aren’t in character either because my Dad doesn’t swear like a fucking sailor!”

“Gee, calm down Egbert.” Dave couldn’t believe how the situation got inverted in such a short amount of time. “Do you want me to bake you a cake to make you feel better?”

“Fuck you…” John said under his breath, putting the shades back on.

“Now, come on, don’t be a bitter bitch about it. You are the one who started this.” Dave leaned back on his chair, watching John fumble with the edge of his polo shirt. “Hey are you listening?”

“Yes, yes I am. I was just thinking… About… you know… your bro and my dad…” John scratched the back of his head, not sure if Dave was going to “get” what he meant.

“About… them?” Dave tilted his head to the side, taking a second to understand where John was trying to get with all that vague babbling. When he did, he just let out a sound similar to a grunt. “Ah, you mean them being together?”

“It’s still, like, really weird you know? I mean, I know my dad is happy but…” John couldn’t deny he was having a bit of a hard time trying to just “accept” the fact that his father was actually dating another guy. It never really occurred to him, hell, he never even imagined his father liked men.

But there was no denying that he was with Dave’s brother, and that was really hard to conceive, sometimes.

“Yeah, that’s a bit weird to me too when I stop to think about it.” Dave got up from his chair, going to sit on his bed, by John’s side. “I mean, they could be making out right now.”

“Argh, Dave, no! I don’t want to think about that!” John twisted his face in clear disgust. The last thing he wanted to think about was his father and Dave’s brother doing whatever.

“Hey, it’s not the nicest of thoughts for me either. I don’t know what Bro sees on your dad though. I mean, he sure knows how to cook really well, and he’s nice and all, but he’s kind of boring.” Dave felt a punch on his arm as soon as he finished talking.

“My dad isn’t boring! And you are wearing his clothes, so I guess that makes you boring too!” John grinned, and received a punch of his own.

“Am not! Just because I’m wearing this stupid pastel shirt and one of his lame fedoras doesn’t mean I’ve turned into him. Besides, if that was the case, you would be my brother and we would be on our way to kiss town right now.” Dave shrugged, turning to look at John, instantly realizing his cheeks were slightly red. “What are you getting all flustered about?”

“N-Nothing!” John fidgeted in place.

“Are you still thinking about your dad and my bro getting it on?” Dave gave his friend a confused look.

“That’s not what I’m thinking at all asshole!” John lashed out, fumbling with his fingers. “Well, not exactly, I mean… I was thinking,… about how it feels.”

“What?” Dave asked with the most indifferent look on his face.

“To be with someone you like. I mean, it must be nice, to kiss and all that stuff.” John placed his hands on his lap, fingers gripping softly on the fabric of his shorts.

“Nah, I dunno. Maybe it’s nothing special.” Dave said, and in response he got an angry glare from John.

“Well, if it’s nothing special why are people hooking up all the time?” John crossed his arms, chest out, waiting for an answer from Dave.

“Hell if I know.” Dave shrugged again, hands resting by the side of his body. “But special or not, I don’t think we are finding it out so soo-” His speech was interrupted by a pair of lips pressed against his.

John’s lips.

It took less than two seconds for Dave to push John away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “The fuck was that for?”

“I just wanted to see what was so ‘special’ about this, God!” John’s cheeks were bright red, and his eyes were fixed on his feet.

“Go do it with someone else then! Someone you like or something!” Dave let out a huff of air.

“Well, maybe I like you, fuckhead!” John took off those thick shades again, putting them aside. “Sorry… you aren’t a ‘fuckhead’.”

Dave didn’t say anything in response to that for a long while. He just sat there, watching John feel flustered and nervous, and he could see he was obviously trying real hard not to look and sound as “bothered” as he really was.

Needless to say, such a confession was unexpected, and it didn’t really help he did so while wearing his brother’s clothes. That made everything kind of creepy. But then again he was dressed like John’s dad, and that didn’t really make John hesitate before leaning forward and trying to kiss you.

Maybe that was his plan all along.

Although, Dave doubted John would be ingenious enough to pull off such a plan. It was probably just some spur-of-the-moment thing.

After two minutes which seemed like an eternity, Dave finally opened his mouth to speak again.

“Well that’s, hm, weird,” was all Dave could put together. He wasn’t even sure of what to say.

John let out a frustrated sigh. Talk about a discouraging line.

“It’s OK. I mean, I didn’t really think this through…” John’s hands were gripping on the edge of Dave’s bed, as he mentally screamed at himself for doing something impulsive, which could very well end his friendship with Dave.

“Sorry for saying this whole ‘liking someone’ thing is ‘nothing special’.” Dave had just realized how not nice that line sounded.

“What part of ‘it’s OK’ you didn’t get?” John kept looking at his feet, faking a smile but not really feeling brave enough to look at Dave’s face.

The room fell into silence once again, with none of them really knowing what to say, until John spoke again, changing the subject.

“I guess I should take these off.” John realized that his father and Dave’s brother would be back soon, and the last thing he needed was a furious Bro. “I don’t want to upset your brother or something.”

John moved to get up from the bed, he almost instantly stopped when he felt Dave’s hand on his. He thought about saying something, but all words got stuck on his throat when he turned to look at Dave’s face, so he just waited to see what was going to take place.

“Maybe you can try that kiss again? I mean, now that I’m expecting it.” It was Dave’s turn to look away. He really thought the situation was weird, but a part of him felt a bit sorry for how dejected John looked, so he just wanted to make up for it.

“Dave, you don’t need to, I told you I -”

“If you say you are ‘OK’ again I swear I’m going to throw you out the window.” Dave’s grip on John’s hand became tighter and he was finally looking at his face again. “Now get over it and press your dumb lips against mine.”

John felt his shoulders tense as he heard Dave speak. He couldn’t really say “no” to him, but it was pretty clear Dave wasn’t 100% sure about what he said. His voice wasn’t as ‘under control’ as usual. There was a tone of hesitance to it John never saw before.

“Can I? Really?” John asked as his heart thumbed inside his chest and he felt his cheeks and ears get hot.

“Do I need to hold a fucking sign above my head or something?” Dave said between his teeth, furrowing his brows. “Can you just do it before I change my mind? Or regret this decision?”

Dave waited for John to say another pointless line, but it never came. Instead he finally took action and leaned over, lips hesitantly touching Dave’s, before he finally felt brave enough to press them together a bit stronger, eyes closing when he realized he could actually see into Dave’s eyes at such close range, even with those shades in the way.

It wasn’t the most spectacular kiss. Far from that. It was mostly just the two of them pressing lips together and far too nervous to do much beyond that, but John could feel Dave’s fingers pressing harder against the skin of his hand, and he didn’t know if that action was out of nervousness, anger, or what.

John wanted to believe it resulted from excitement. Which was pretty much the same reason why he was tugging at the fabric of his own shorts.

He knew for sure that definitely wasn’t the same kind of kiss his father and Dave’s bro shared, but he bet the feeling of anticipation was the same. And so was the electric sensation he felt all over his body. He kind of felt pathetic for being so overwhelmed by something so simple, but considering he was looking forward to such a happening for a while, he thought maybe he was acting accordingly.

As for Dave, the whole situation was quite ‘alien’ to him, but not particularly bad when he thought about it a bit better. It wasn’t the end of the world, having his lips pressed against John’s. They were good friends and, well, he knew that derp would never do anything to hurt him. Not on purpose at least. So, if he wanted a kiss, why not give it to him? And it was such an uneventful, almost immobile kiss; it couldn’t even be classified as a legit one.

A minute or so later, John moved away slowly, eyes still closed. He only opened them when he was a couple of inches away from Dave.

He looked as indifferent as ever.

“Hm… was it bad?” John asked, highly insecure. He couldn’t read any expression on Dave’s face.

And suddenly, he looked surprised.

“Wow, John… that…” Dave’s eyes were wide behind his shades, and John leaned forward slightly to hear him out.

“Yes?” John was on the edge of his seat, wanting to know just how Dave was going to react.

“That was awful. You are the worst kisser in the entire world.” Dave’s lips curved into a smirk, and he quickly had to put his hands up to protect himself from John, who was flailing his arms at him.

“Oh God, FUCK YOU DAVE!” John shouted, with his blood boiling as he tried to hit his friend.

“Don’t blame me. Just telling you the truth man.” Dave kept smirking and dodging John’s hits, which wasn’t all that hard.

“I was wrong. You are a fuckhead!” John got up, getting the shades from the bed and storming out the room, decided to take off Bro’s things before returned.

As John left, Dave laughed to himself, taking off the fedora sitting on his head. That thing was getting unbelievably hot.

He sat there on the bed, and his laugh subdued quite soon, and his smile disappeared to make way to a more serious expression, his fingers moving to his lips. His fingertips brushed against them as he tried to assimilate what just took place.

His lips felt strange. Almost as if John’s were still pressed against his, and he couldn’t really describe the feeling he got from it. It was a mix of insecurity, nervousness and… maybe it was some manner of mutual feeling? Maybe he kind of liked John too, but never really realized until that moment?

Either way, his lips felt odd.

There was no time to think about such a thing though. He needed to taken off that stupid shirt and tie combo.

He didn’t know just how “attached” John’s dad was to his things.

And he didn’t want to find out the bad way.