anuary 1st, 2012, Sakurai residence
My mother gave me this book as a New Year's gift in lieu of the traditional monetary stimulus. As she is currently observing me from across the room, I cannot but pretend to make use of this. What for does a grown man need a diary? Such a waste!
January 2nd, 2012, Sakurai residence
I wasn't expecting to be returning to this so soon but I really need an outlet. I must not let my mother make New Year's plans for me ever again! I shall never again be persuaded to go to any of her parties, ever. The humiliation! She tried to set me up! With a hobo! A hippie! A dancer of some sort! Unbelieveable! How could they think I'd ever be interested in a drunk who smells like an ashtray and dresses like a short-sighted christmas tree? Am appalled!
P.S. Must never again wear the sweaters my mother makes.
January 17th, 2012, my flat
Maybe I will use this as a sketch book.
January 24th, 2012, the cubicle
Entitled: Snowman unlimited
February 2nd, 2012, the cubicle
Nino saw the book while I was busy in a meeting. He says I should consider investing more time in my writing skills. He also drew a moustache on my snowman. I am not sure how I feel about this.
February 13th, 2012, the cubicle
Snowman unlimited - Haiku
Oh! Behold! the snow!
So white and cold the snow
Oh! Lo! The snow! Oh!
Nino came into my office today but he wasn't interested in the haiku. He told me we were going to a Valentine's party together. Nino claims he doesn't know if Aiba will be there but I have seen the Thighmaster2000 in his office and I know what's up. I would say no but he threatened to post photocopies of my drawing in the entire building. My art is just not ready for that kind of exposure. Yet.
February 14th, 2012,midnight, home
February 15th, 2012, home
I met him again. The hobo dancer from my mother's New Year's curry extravaganza. He looks quite nice when he isn't wearing a christmas tree. But he still drank like a race horse. Not that I think of him as a horse or a stud or anything. Just can't understand the drinking. We bumped into each other at the bar. He is a friend of Aiba - who was there but to Nino's shock he brought a boyfriend. Ohno something. An artist. Anyway, I told Jun I am an artist myself and we got to talk. He is a modern dancer and he also takes classes in French cooking at the weekends. I drew a little something for him on a napkin. He giggled. Am starting to think my art won't be appreciated by my contemporaries. Oh well. I don't really remember what happened after that but Jun left to dance a little and the next time I saw him was in the men's room when he fumbled around the condom machine. Not that it matters.
March 4th, 2012, the cubicle
Nino is still obsessed with the Thighmaster. Apparently he thinks that Aiba is only with Ohno because of the latter's sensational legs. I wouldn't know how he knows that but one is never to question Nino when he gets that twitch in his eyes. Mentioned the art thing and suggested we take a class together. Still don't know why he laughed at that. Anyway, I am doing good. Keeping a diary is working well with my literary aspirations. And I get to note things that I usually wouldn't even think about. Like Jun. I wouldn't really wonder what he does right now if he wasn't mentioned in the diary. I mean, why should I? There is clearly nothing between us. I am probably not even his type. I wouldn't know. I didn't see the guy who made him buy condoms. Not that it matters. At all. Not to me anyway.
Nino mentioned a White Day party. I really hope Aiba isn't bringing Ohno again, the Thighmaster squeaks.
March 14th, 12 p.m., the Purring Pussy club in Ropongi
I'll never understand why White Day in a strip club sounds like a good idea to some. This evening is a total desaster. Aiba is still with Ohno, Nino is currently drowning himself in white wine spritzers and I am hiding in the toilet because Jun is here and he didn't even look at me when I said hi. I don't even have my real diary, this is just a napkin and I will need to staple it to the book if I don't want to mess up the system. Why wouldn't he say hi? Am I fat?
March 15th, 2012, 1:30 a.m., still at the Purring Pussy in Ropongi
This is it! I am a grown man and I will not hide myself in a toilet while a friend of mine succumbs to alcoholism. And why would I be hiding anyway? It's not like I was the one who bought condoms for whatever random guy he wanted to shag. If anything I should be the one who's mad. I mean, we talked almost the entire night! Must learn to stick to the first impression. Head held high, Sakurai!
March 17th, 2012, 9 a.m., the cubicle
Things have changed around here. After I came back from the toilet, I found Jun dancing with Aiba. Nino hasn't spoken about it but he gave his Thighmaster to Yoko from human resources. I am very sad for him. Very sad. For Nino.
I drew a picture of Jun. Nino agreed it was very fitting. I guess situations like these fuel my creativity.
March 31th, 2012, 2 p.m, the cubicle
Yoko has convinced Nino and me to start a banana diet. It'll definitely be a good thing if Nino starts eating bananas at least. We are using Jun's portrait as a dartboard now.
April 15th, 2012
Nino and I have decided to date. It's the most natural thing in the world since we've known each other for so long and yet still get along. There will be no dicking around in this relationship!
Aril 27th, 2012, my bathroom
I am happy to tell you about my wonderful relation with Nino. It is all going well and we are very happy. We don't need to spend time getting to know each other, at all. It's all good! We know what the other wants all the time. We barely even have to talk! It's bliss! BLISS! What else could we ever want?
May 8th, 2012, my bathroom
There is absolutely no dicking around in this relationship. None at all.
May 19th, 2012, the cubicle
So we broke up. We had a talk about what each of us expects from the relationship and it turns out we're completely on the same page where this is concerned. Neither of us expected anything. I think things could've turned out a little better if Nino had been a little more attentive where certain areas are concerned but he says it's not exactly a turn on when I mouth a different guy's name while sleeping. I have been reading a very well written biography about Benjamin Franklin, that must be it. Not exactly ground for divorce but I am glad I no longer need to keep the diary near the loo.
June 11th, 2012, my home
Ran into Ohno at the supermarket. Super awkward. He greeted me, so I guess we talked that night at the club but I can't really remember. He asked about my art and how I was improving. We agreed to meet for a coffee next week. What am I doing?
June 18th, 2012, home
Turns out coffee means meat, as far as Ohno is concerned but I am glad that we didn't go to one of those artsy cafés. It was nice sitting in a booth and eating grilled meat and talking about art. Ohno isn't a full-time artist either. He works in a bakery near Aiba's school. That's where they met. It was weird talking about Aiba with Ohno because I thought he must've felt betrayed by him and Jun. But it looks like they weren't actually dating. Aiba was hung up on some guy according to Ohno and they just tried dating because they got along so well. Sounds a bit sketchy but Aiba did leave him for Jun so I guess it's possible.
June 18th, 2012, 1 a.m., my bed
I don't really see what's so special about Aiba.
June 19th, 2012, 10 a.m. the cubicle
Told Nino about Aiba, he took it well. Seemed a little agitated because his cheeks starting turning red but he denied it. He has been acting a little weird ever since we broke up. He even took the Thighmaster back from Yoko. I hope he doesn't try to win me back.
July 4th, 2012, 9:30 a.m. the cubicle
Nino has told Yoko and me that we were all going to a 4th of July party this evening. We're not American and neither of us speaks English but he insisted that it would be fun. It's a private party.
July 5th, 2012, 03:30 a.m. my bathroom floor
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.
July 5th, 2012, still on the floor
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.
July 5th, 2012, hiding
I can never show myself ever again. To nobody.
Why do I allow myself to get into these situations? The party was at Aiba's house and from the way Nino was skipping up the steps, he obviously wasn't hung up on me anymore. There were lots of people I didn't know and Yoko didn't know anyone anyway so we stuck to the kitchen and talked. There were lots of snacks, like brownies and jello and we were really hungry. You can't place food in front of two guys who had to live on bananas, it's really not fair! Anyway, I didn't drink that much but somehow I got really drunk really soon and Yoko too...so I went to look for Nino and well I found him. And Aiba. Oh god.
I really don't want to revisit that image in my head. And then Yoko didn't want to go anymore because Ohno was there and Yoko wanted Ohno to draw him like one of his French girls. I worked years with this man and I never even knew he was into cosplay! And then everyone started making out and dancing and everything started turning and then...
And then...there was Jun. And he grabbed me, and I didn't want him to grab me because I was perfectly alright by myself. And I yelled at him I think. I yelled that he wasn't so cute and that he had no right to touch me because I totally didn't want him to ever. I don't even remember how I got home. My head.
July sixth, 2012, 7:30 p.m. home
I went to the office today. Nino had told the manager that I wasn't feeling well yesterday, so they clocked it as sick leave. We talked at the watercooler. He asked if I was okay and I apologized for screaming when I caught him on Aiba. He said it didn't matter. He was sorry for not telling me about the jello shots. Yoko apparently started freaking out a couple of minutes after I was gone. He hung himself from the chandelier and sang "The boy from Ipanema" about seven times. He hasn't been to the office yet. I feel lonely.
August 13th, 2012, 11 a.m. the cubicle
Nino and Aiba are a very noisy and very happy couple. Aiba comes every day to pay for Nino's lunch and Nino pulls coins out of his ear until they are even again. It's apparently a kink. Yoko and I are car-pooling now. We never spoke about the party again. Nothing else to write really.
September 2nd, 2012, 8 p.m. home
Am doing autumn cleaning. I just sorted through books and notes when I found a phone number. On the back it says "call me this time". Whose number is this? From when?
September 4th, 2012, 7 p.m. home
I keep staring at the phone number. I stacked it on my fridge so I see it whenever I sit in the kitchen. And I've been sitting in the kitchen a lot. It couldn't be him? Could it?
September 4th, 2012, 7:10 p.m. home
I called! Oh god. It's him! It's really him! And he hung up on me.
September 4th, 2012, 7:12 p.m. home
Called again. Same reaction. Called again. And this time he answered. He asked me what I wanted and I said coffee. I don't even know what I am talking about. We're meeting in Shibuya tomorrow.
September 5th, 2012, 11:30 a.m. the cubicle
I am dying here! Nino has been throwing me weird looks all day but Yoko has been very helpful. He keeps bringing me juice and crackers so I won't eat too much at the cafe and repeat what happened. I doubt coffee will make me yell but it's still nice.
September 6th, 2012, 10 p.m. home
Oh. I've been such an idiot. It was Jun who brought me home after the party. And then I didn't call him. But he said he likes idiots, at least one of them. Heh.
September 6th, 2012, midnight, my bed
He has a really nice smile. We're meeting again tomorrow.
September 7th, 2012, home
I need to buy a Thighmaster. We went to an onsen today and I really need a thighmaster. And self-control.
He reads a lot. We both love Dickens.
September 9th, 2012, the cubicle
Aiba said he never dated Jun. And that the dancing was just friendly. Nino called me an idiot. I am an idiot. Isn't that just wonderful?
Yoko asked if I heard something from Ohno.
September 12th, 2012, my bed
This was the most amazing nigh
He is wonderful. And he is sleeping. He sleeps wonderful too. He caught me with the Thighmaster tonight and then we wrestled for it and one thing led to another. I think I need a second pillow.
"What are you doing?" Jun yawned from beneath the blanket. Before Sho could reply, he wormed his way up to the surface.
"What...is this? Are you keeping a diary?"
-"Nooo..." Sho answered sheepishly and tried to push the book off the bed.
"You're keeping a diary!" Jun turned to face Sho and darted for the book. "So what?" Sho whispered and pushed the book to the floor.
Jun moved his legs until he lay above Sho and took a deep breath. "Only little girls keep diaries."
-"I am not a little girl. I am a man." Sho pouted but he opened his legs a little wider so Jun could lay a little closer to his heart.
"A man?" Jun whispered into his ear. "I am afraid you'll need to prove it."
And that he did.