"So... what's your brother like?"
Thor turned his head to look at Steve from across the table. "You mean Loki?"
"Of course he means Loki," Tony said, looking bored with his cheek against the table-clothed surface. He raised an eyebrow, "Unless you have another brother?"
"No," Thor shook his head, "I was just surprised is all. You have never asked me about my brother before."
"Well-" Steve began.
"That's because no one really cares, Thor," Tony muttered.
Steve started to splutter out a protest, but Thor merely grinned.
"Anyways, I'm starving." Tony said loudly, "Why can't the sorting just start already?"
Steve rolled his eyes, "How can you still be hungry? You practically bought all the chocolate frogs off the trolley on the train."
"Yeah. But Mister Thor I-Eat-Everything Odinson here devoured them all."
Thor waggled his eyebrows. "I wouldn't say all of them." He pulled out a chocolate frog box from inside his robes.
Tony lifted his head sharply off the table. "Hey! Give that here!"
He made grabby hands toward the box. Thor stood up and waved it above his head, and Tony was about to climb up on the table when they heard the loud, echoing sound of someone clearing their throat from the end of the Great Hall. The sound cut cleanly through the intelligible murmuring of students' idle chattering.
Tony and Thor quickly sat down, though Tony shot a quick glare at Thor before turning his attention to the man at the top of the Hall.
Professor Fury, headmaster of Hogwarts, raised both arms in a welcoming gesture, though the look on his face was far from friendly.
"Welcome, everybody. Before we begin the sorting, I'd like everyone to please shut (the fuck) up."
His glare swept across the Hall, and students quickly silenced themselves. A couple of them giggled nervously.
With a satisfied nod, Nick Fury stepped down and Professor Hill took his place, setting a pointed, dirty, and frayed wizard's hat on a tall stool.
"Let the Sorting Ceremony...begin!"