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My Imzadi

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Beverly walks down the corridor that leads to Deanna's office. Before, she would be in her sick bay. There was no reason for her not to be. Her work was her life. Wesley no longer lived with her and spending time alone in her quarters, while sometimes welcome, wasn't as much fun as she thought it would be. So she would take her time with her reports, run diagnostics, double check the work of her more than competent staff. Its not like she didn't have a social life. There was always something going on in Ten Forward and she was a regular at Commander Riker's weekly poker games. She directed a series of plays and concerts and taught dance. She had frequent breakfasts with Captain Picard and she and Deanna often worked out together. Still, there were times that hanging out in sick bay was more appealing than going home alone.

Today is not one of those days. One of the perks of being the boss is that she can step out any time she likes. Not that she does very often. She's been with patients all morning and has spent most of the afternoon doing administrative work. A quick check to make sure everything is in order and she leaves her sickbay in the capable hands of her staff.

Beverly doesn't have to go home alone anymore. She has a new love and today she wants to spend some time with her, if Deanna is available.

Deanna has the door to her office set so that she isn't interrupted while she's with a patient. If the door doesn't open on its own, Beverly knows that the bell won't work either. When she is done, Deanna will unlock the door and everyone is welcome. In an emergency, she can be reached by comm. Beverly sighs. She was hoping to catch Deanna between patients but the door doesn't open. She considers using the comm but her disappointment doesn't quite reach the level of an emergency. She sighs again. She'll check the library and see if they have anything new to read.

Most starships don't have libraries. Computerized reading is the standard. Real books are expensive and heavy. Captan Picard is old fashioned in many ways. He loves the feel and smell of a paper book. Much of the Enterprise's library consists of his own personal collection. He's always on the look out for new tomes and many of the crew also contribute to the collection whenever they can.

Beverly is halfway down the corridor when she feels a now familiar tickle in her brain. *Imzadi? Is everything OK?* She smiles then thinks her answer. *Imzadi. Fine. Want to see you.* *Come then.* Beverly's smile gets bigger, confusing several crew members who walk by. She turns back toward Deanna's office.

This time the doors slide open to reveal Deanna waiting just inside. She steps forward and pulls Beverly into a tight hug and kiss. "Is this what you wanted?" she asks with a wink. Beverly slides her hand into the hair on the side of Deanna's head. "This is exactly what I wanted" she says as she touches her lips back to Deanna's. Deanna moans quietly and presses herself to Beverly. "What time are you done?" Beverly asks in a whisper. Deanna answers around another kiss. "I'm done now. I just finished. Are you hungry?" Beverly laughs. "Is that all you ever think about? Food?" Deanna laughs. "Is sex all you ever think about?" Its Beverly's turn to laugh. "Yes. Actually it is. Every time think of you." "I know" Deanna says with another laugh. "I can hear you. Makes it really hard to listen to other people's problems when all I can think about is you." Beverly takes a step back. "I..I'm sorry." Deanna steps to her. "Don't be. I like hearing your thoughts. Especially when they're a little bit dirty." Beverly's cheeks begin to turn red. "Don't worry. I can shut it out when I want to. I just don't always want to."

That make Beverly feel a little bit better. "Still....could you teach me to maybe be more disciplined? So I don't do that to you?" "It really is OK Beverly. I was teasing. I shouldn't have said anything." "No. You were right to tell me. I need to learn to control this." "I will help you" Deanna says. "Don't worry so much OK?" Beverly smiles. "OK. And you can share too sometimes." Deanna laughs. "I'll keep that in mind." Beverly rolls her eyes. "That was bad." Deanna laughs again. "I know."

Beverly takes Deanna's hand and they step out into the hall. She pauses. A left turn will take them back towards their quarters. A right will take them to Ten Forward. Beverly senses her hesitation. "How about we go home and get some ice cream." Deanna smiles. "I like the way you think." "Yeah? Well think about this." She closes her eyes and pulls up an image and a feeling. She hears Deanna catch her breath and a smile comes to her lips.

The women are done with their dinner sundaes and are sitting together on the sofa. They share a bottle of wine while they listen to a recording of a Klingon Opera. Klingon isn't everybody's taste but she appreciates complexity of the music. It's an ugly sounding language but, somehow, the singers make it sound lyrical. "Do you like it?" She asks Deanna. Deanna thinks before she answers. "well it is certainly interesting." "Something else then?" Deanna laughs. "Yeah. Something else. Please." Beverly talks over her to the computer and asks to listen to Mozart. The Magic Flute is a bit easier to listen to than The Gik'tal (To the Death).

"Much better" Deanna says as she snuggles under Beverly's arm. Beverly pulls her arm a bit tighter and kisses her love on the temple. She pours two more glasses of wine. Synthahol is what most people drink. It tastes the same as alcohol without the debilitating effects. The high is mild and can be easily shaken if necessary. Deanna and Beverly are drinking Betazoid wine. There is no synthahol, just good old fashioned alcohol. The buzz feels good and just a little bit dangerous.

Deanna turns toward Beverly to say something and spills her wine down the woman's front. Beverly jumps to her feet in surprise. Deanna grabs a towel and starts to try to mop up the liquid soaking into Beverly's shirt while apologizing profusely. Beverly starts to laugh. "Its OK Dee. If you want to touch, you can just ask." Deanna looks even more embarrassed, her cheeks turning bright red. Beverly gives her a quick kiss. "Well, I should probably get out of these wet clothes. Are you coming?" Deanna's cheeks burn even brighter but she follows Beverly to the bedroom.

As Deanna enters the room, Beverly turns. "Well?" Deanna gives her a curious look. "You wanted to touch? Help me get out of this and you can touch all you want." Deanna finally smiles. "As long as its OK" she says teasingly. "Oh its more than OK" Beverly replies as she starts to slip her top off over her head. Deanna takes a step forward and puts a hand on Beverly's breast. Beverly lets out a small groan as Deanna rubs her thumb across her nipple. She steps closer and they kiss. "Like this?" Deanna asks. Beverly groans again. "Yeah. You can do that any time you want." "All I have to do is ask?" "That's all" Beverly says. "And it will save my clothes." Deanna laughs as she begins a passionate kiss. They carefully undress each other and Deanna pulls Beverly down onto the bed, her fingers still teasing Beverly's nipple. Her kisses move down Beverly's neck and her mouth finds Beverly's other breast. Beverly laughs. "What now?" Beverly gives her a wicked grin. "I didn't hear you ask." Deanna laughs along. "Please may I?" "You may do anything you want.."

The women lie together for a time, sharing gentle kisses and running their fingers up and down each other. Deanna rolls to her side, her head propped up on her hand. "Do we want to talk about this?" Beverly turns to face her. "I thought you would never ask." Deanna smiles and kisses her again. "So..." Beverly asks, her voice low. "How does this work?" "I'm not entirely sure. I talked to some Beta friends today. They gave me some suggestions." Beverly's cheeks turn red this time. "You really...." Deanna gives her a small laugh. "I guess its different for us. Talking about sex. Telepaths can't hide. That's part of why many don't wear clothes. When someone can see inside you, there's no point in secrets. And Betas aren't very shy either. Stuff like this, we talk about it all the time." Beverly nods. "I get it. It's normal for you. Its just different, the way I grew up. Humans, we get uncomfortable talking about sex outside of the relationship." "So I've noticed." Deanna says. Beverly raises an eyebrow. Deanna laughs "Not you. Humans in general. Beverly smiles. "I'm working on it. And yeah that includes me. Remember? Repressed and all that." Deanna kisses her gently again. "I love you exactly how you are. You don't need to change anything. Not for me OK?"

"So?" Beverly asks. "Anxious?" "No" she replies. "Curious." "Curious?" Deanna asks. "Well, yeah" Beverly says. "As a scientist I am always curious." Deanna smiles. "Yes. Yes you are."

Beverly waits while Deanna thinks through what she wants to say. "This isn't easy to explain" she starts. "My friends tried to explain but, well, its difficult to put into words." "Its OK Dee. No pressure. Its not like the old way doesn't work just fine." Deanna gives her a smile. "No. I think we've got this. At least for the first trial." "OK" Beverly says softly. Deanna thinks for a few seconds. "Well, the way I understand it, we just go about business. Keep the connection. We have to be in synch. so to speak. Just before orgasm, during, there is another chance to connect, deeper but also harder to establish." Beverly nods along. "And since we'll be a bit distracted...." "Yeah" Deanna agrees.

Beverly runs her fingers down her lover's ribcage. "I'm willing to give it a shot. Are you going to guide me?" Deanna begins to kiss her, her fingers in her hair, pulling herself closer. *I will* *Just relax* *stay open* *listen* *feel* Beverly acknowledges her. *Different* "How do you mean?" Deanna asks. "Keeping my mind open. I've never done that, um..." Deanna laughs at her. "You mean when you're receiving?" Beverly's cheeks burn again but she nods. "Yeah. I'm not sure how? I mean it takes concentration for me still. I'm not sure I can think about anything. Not while..." "Its OK" Deanna reassures her. "Just relax. Its not a big deal. Remember, this is just practice. Its like chasing after an orgasm. If you try to force it, its not going to work. Its not that we have to have a conversation. Just try to be open. I'll do the rest."" Beverly smiles. "Thank you. I will." "I know you will." Beverly's only answer is another deep kiss and her hands begin to wander again.

Deanna's hand goes back to Beverly's breast and she can't help but laugh. "What? What now?" Deanna asks. "You didn't ask for permission." Deanna groans and gives her nipple a pinch. Beverly retaliates by pinching Deanna back. "Hey!" she says but Beverly doesn't answer. She's too busy finding the sensitive skin along Deanna's jaw line.

Deanna moans loudly as Beverly nips at her ear lobe. Despite her assurances to Beverly, she's not entirely sure she can do this either. As her brain becomes clouded with pleasure, she tests the connection. *Imzadi* It takes more effort than she thought. Her friends warned her and, being only half Betazoid, she knows it could be even harder. On top of that, while Beverly is learning, she's still a human and not a very gifted telepath. Still she is determined to try, yet content with the idea that this may be something they are going to have to work on. She smiles to herself. Its going to be tough to have to keep working on it. She just doesn't want to frustrate Beverly or think that she's less of a lover, that she may not be able to achieve the connection they're looking for. She's curious for sure. Its something that other Betazoid Imzadis talk about quite a bit, something she never thought she would have. Still, it wouldn't bother her a bit if things stayed right where they are.

She tries again to focus her thoughts. Beverly's hand is making its way down her ribs again and she feels herself quiver in anticipation. *Imzadi* *Can you hear me?* Its another few seconds before she can feel Beverly's answer. *Imzadi* *I can* *I'm trying* Deanna reassures her. *Relax* *Let it go* Beverly has heard those words before. It was the best advice she had ever received. She closes her eyes and lets the feelings, hers and Deanna's work their way through her.

Deanna slowly moves her fingers down Beverly's body. As she gently touches Beverly, she can hear her take a deep breath. She tests again.. *Imzadi?* It takes longer for Beverly to respond. She feels a faint tickle. The image fails to form in her brain but at least she knows Beverly is listening, or trying to anyway. Beverly's hand finds her and she begins to lose the connection. Beverly was right. This is going to be harder than she thought. She pulls herself back and tries to find Beverly again.

The women are lying close together now, nose to nose, their hands almost touching as they begin to rub and fondle each other. Deanna tries to focus on the tenuous connection between their minds but when Beverly slides her fingers into her, she almost loses it. She fights to open the channel again. She can feel Beverly holding on, barely. She tries to pull her back at the same time as she slips her fingers into Beverly.

Deanna feels Beverly moving toward the edge. She slows her fingers. *wait* She can't tell if Beverly can hear her or not. The woman is breathing heavily, her eyes closed, her cheeks flushed bright red. Deanna stares at her. *open your eyes* Beverly slowly opens her eyes. *look* *look at what?* *just look* Beverly squeezes her eyes closed. She tries to ignore the intense feelings racking her body and focus on Deanna. She begins to see something. Its similar to the vision she had established in the first connection with Deanna. She can see herself on one side and Deanna on the other. She doesn't understand but she knows that this is what Deanna was hoping for. She holds tight to the vision as she feels herself teetering on the edge. Another thought enters her brain, this time with a familiar tickle. One word. One idea. *now* She feels Deanna push harder into her and she does the same. As their shared orgasm begins, she sees the two figures move toward each other. As they touch, Beverly is blinded by a bright light. Their two bodies become one. The world ends and all she can feel is the most intense pleasure she's ever felt. It goes on for hours, days, years. She can't tell where she ends and Deanna begins. Her entire world is made up of that bright light.

Slowly, she comes back to consciousness. She can feel Deanna where she is clinging to her, her body still shaking. She's aware that Deanna is her own person but Beverly still feels like they share the same body. Their heartbeats, their breath, they move together as one. Later when she thinks about it, she wonders if that's what is like for a baby in the womb or conjoined twins. Your body is your own but it resides inside someone else's. It's a wonderful feeling, being a part of something bigger than herself. And the waves of pleasure that still make her jump and twitch are pretty wonderful too.

Its hard to tell how long they lie there. Neither wants to let go. Deanna slowly opens her eyes to find Beverly staring at her. She knows that they now have something that others will never have, never understand. She didn't think it was possible to be even closer than they were before, but now it feels different. She feels like they are two parts of the same body. She can tell that Beverly feels the same as one thought floats into her head. *Imzadi*