« Part 3 of the 10 Things series
10 Little-Known Facts About Thor Odinson
Thor Odinson, heir to the kingdom of Asgard, has learnt rather a lot about Midgard in the past few months. Unfortunately, Midgard doesn't seem to have learnt much about him.
- Whether it be fighting frost giants or chitauri, learning about the ever more ludicrous aspects of Midgardian culture or simply lounging around in the nude, Thor puts 100% into everything he does. This, as Clint has pointed out on more than one occasion, is not necessarily a good thing; Thor does enough damage on the few occasions when he only puts 10% effort in (and that’s rounding up). The Avengers don’t talk about the time Thor decided to demonstrate the mighty power of Mjolnir to a young girl in the middle of New York because he thought she looked sad. All that needs to be said about the incident is that Bruce now has an excellent idea of what pigeon brain looks like, especially when it’s spread all over Thor’s face.
- Thor actually cannot leave the Tower without being scouted. It’s getting more than a little ridiculous now. The first time Tony permitted him to walk the streets of New York alone without a minder – and OK, perhaps ‘permitted’ is a strong word considering what actually happened involved Thor locking Tony in a cupboard and sneaking out the window, and ‘sneaking out’ might also be inaccurate when taking into account the fact that Mjolnir and a horse were involved, but anyway – he got as far as three blocks before some balding middle-aged suit told him he was ‘just the face he was looking for’ and he should stop by the studio later for some test shots. Naturally, Thor took this as a threat and knocked the man unconscious. It’s mostly for this reason that Tony and Steve have taken to playing a new game; ‘Who Can Stop Thor From Being Beautiful?’. So far, Steve has sent Thor out into the big wide world wearing sweatpants and a tank top (he made it five blocks before someone handed him their card), a Batman outfit (two blocks) and a shell-suit (a staggering half a block). Tony has made him wear a dressing gown (didn’t even make it out the front door before Bruce offered him a record deal), a dress (one block) and an Iron Man outfit. This was the only time on record that the plan worked. Tony’s victory was bittersweet when he realised the implications of this. He has since re-designed the suit.
- A few people have noticed that Thor’s speech patterns are slightly deviated from the norm – not that much. Sometimes he uses ‘the’ correctly - and this has led to the SHIELD publication‘Asgardian to Midgardian For Idiots’. Entries in this very unusual dictionary include ‘frost giant: noun. Midgardian equivalent: asshole’ and ‘I think not: phrase. Midgardian equivalent: oh hell no, bitch’. Tony may or may not have been the lead author of this pamphlet.
- The first day Thor got Twitter, he crashed the servers within fifteen minutes. This may or may not have been due to the fact that his first tweet read ‘I WAS TOLD THAT POP TARTS 'MUST HAVE BEEN MADE BY GOD'. MY FATHER HAS NOT CONFIRMED THIS BUT I WILL ASK HIM NEXT TIME I AM IN ASGARD.’ He has since been offered a sponsorship deal by Kellogs. He has also been offered an evil stare by Fury.
- Thor has an absolutely terrible habit of walking around Stark Towers completely naked. It’s an awful habit. Really. No-one likes it. It’s tedious. No-one wants to be faced with the sight of a muscled demi-god in the nude in their own home, regardless of whether his pectoral muscles were carved by angels or not. Absolutely no-one. And if Natasha seems to run into him more than usual when he’s in this state of undress, it’s nothing but coincidence, so ignore anything that Barton says.
- Despite his rather dominant, alpha-male personality type, Thor can take a joke at his own expense. He can see the humour in his situation. He laughs heartily – which is a word that seems to have come back into fashion of late, seeing as it’s one of the only words that actually applies to Thor – when Tony calls him ‘Arnie’, even though he doesn’t completely get the reference, and he takes it on the chin when Bruce grins in that exasperated way of his and tells him that he’d have better luck trying to explain the theory of relativity to a box of chalk. He does have one sore spot though, and that’s his brother. The first time he heard Clint joke about Loki – and it wasn’t even a particularly mean joke, just something about what Clint called a ‘mullet’ and a ‘trailer park’ – he felt something inside him burn, and the next thing he knew he was twenty miles away and had ten missed calls from Jane and a cleaning bill from Tony. He’s starting to accept that his brother isn’t coming back, but that doesn’t mean he has to be happy about it, and it doesn’t mean that he has to accept that everyone else is.
- The one person Thor can really argue with is, oddly, Darcy. Despite looking as though she wouldn’t say boo to a goose – and really, that’s Thor’s favourite Midgardian expression, because it’s just so Earth. Asgardian sayings always focus on strong animals; oxen and dragons. Only Midgardians would talk about waddling birds – she has a tongue on her that could rival Odin’s, even in his darkest rages. If Thor were the kind of person to cry, which he certainly isn’t, he thinks that Darcy would be the one woman that could bring him to do so. Apart from Jane, of course, but that’s for another reason entirely.
- Speaking of Jane, Thor is besotted. Completely and utterly devoted. Sickeningly so. Whenever she visits Avengers Tower – which is fairly frequently – Clint makes a point of waggling his eyebrows in a way that makes Thor blush. Natasha, to her credit, does usually poke Clint for this. So does Jane. Thor doesn’t think he could love anyone more than he loves his brother, but he’s starting to see that there are many different kinds of love. Sometimes it scares him trying to work out which kind is stronger, but when he remembers the first time he kissed Jane and the last time he saw his brother, the tug at his heartstrings is just as strong, and he thinks that maybe they’ll always be at war.
- Thor and Steve are probably the two most likeable guys on Midgard. However, only Steve is ever allowed to take care of public relations. This is largely because the first time Fury allowed Thor to talk to the press, he almost caused a war with France. That was completely uncoincidentally also the last time Thor was allowed to speak to the media.
- Thor is of Asgard, he knows that. He misses his homeland from time to time when he’s not there and when he is there he feels like he belongs. This will be his kingdom one day, in the not too distant future. However, sometimes, when he’s sitting on Tony’s couch with Jane’s feet in his lap, Steve doodling in the chair opposite while Tony vies desperately for his attention, Natasha and Clint fighting over who gets control of the TV remote and Bruce trying desperately to reconcile his inner ying and yang, he feels much as he feels when he walks the halls of his father’s palace. Thor is of Asgard, yes, and he always will be, but he’s starting to think that perhaps Midgard is his home.
Series this work belongs to:
mischiefloki, hikeswithdogs, FrenchTheAlpaca, MonicaOP, sex_drugs_moriarty, eclipse_ze_lunachic, miscella, lyricalnights, FaithManages, MonikerHazard, AnaliseGrey, shaenie, AwkwardBlueKitty, honiglippe, Sursum_Ursa, ochrasy, animatedosity, Leighta, DigitalMeowMix, Magnificent_Dragon, rookmartin, unstarred, Caedesdeo, puzzle_shipper, SkyBlue, athornintheheart, Brigantine, PaxieAmor, mythras_fire, MaliceLovel, Skrae, PeroxidePirate, slashrfan, jacques, majoline, Olagaw, Thette, Orchid, Decembriana, Trinium, blue001, seaweed, Attalander, CatMahogany, Auguries_of_Innocence, meninaiscrazy, whereigo, spinstitcher, Minique, Gaytriotism, Kadorienne, dirtygirl42, Felis_Lupus, Matteic and scrollgirl
as well as
left kudos on this work!