In Will Shuester's opinion, the most ominous phrase in the English language was the one which had just passed Noah Puckerman's lips.
"Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time."
Will looked around Principal Figgins' office, gauging how bad it was going to be. Coach Tanaka looked about ready to swallow his whistle in fury. Emma Pillsbury looked caught between amusement and concern. Principal Figgins seemed frozen in shock. Kurt Hummel was inspecting his fingernails and looking bored.
Puck and Finn were sitting in the middle of the room, wearing matching fairy costumes. Including sparkly make-up, wings, and carrying wands.
Will sighed and covered his eyes with one hand, knowing that at least the story would be entertaining.
"Explain yourselves!" Ken shouted, having managed to find his voice again. "Explain why you're dressed as a pair of fairies!"
Puck and Finn exchanged glances, then shrugged. Puck the purple fairy decided to elaborate on his earlier statement.
"Since we joined Homo Explosion-" he was cut off by simultaneous elbow-to-ribs from both Kurt and Finn, the latter of whom took over the explanation.
"Since joining Glee Club, people keep calling us both fairies. And then we were reading 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' in English, where there's a prank-pulling fairy called Puck."
"Then Fancypants here-" Puck was again cut off by an elbow from Finn, though Kurt just rolled his eyes.
"Ow, dude. Then Hummel here said that he could get his hands on some fairy costumes, which would really give the guys something to talk about."
"And it all kinda went downhill from there," Finn concluded, while Kurt nodded his agreement.
"Boys," Will tried to keep his amusement under control, "there comes a time when 'it all went downhill from there' just doesn't cover it. And this is that time."
Ken looked like he was going to have a stroke at any moment.
"You broke Karofsky's arm!" The furious coach bellowed. Puck smirked at that particular memory, whilst Finn seemed a little guilty. Kurt still looked bored, but decided to speak his piece.
"Coach, Karofsky is a thick-headed bully with anger management issues. If anything, we did you a favour. Maybe can get some counselling for his obvious sexual identity issues while his arm heals." The diminutive diva then stood and faced the principal properly.
"Principal Figgins, we have several witnesses who have testified that Karofsky threw the first punch without provocation, and that these two were merely defending themselves. No charges have been laid. Unless you're going to punish us for something, we all have classes to get to."
Figgins gave a small smile filled with amusement and waved them away. In his opinion, this could solve some of his problems. At least for the next couple of weeks, he wouldn't have to worry about Karofsky bullying anyone.
Once outside the office, Puck and Finn flanked Kurt like a pair of bodyguards as he led the way to History. The halls were deserted, as class had already started, so part way there Kurt gave in to the smile fighting its way on to his face and turned to his escorts.
"You didn't have to claim you broke his arm, you know. I wouldn't have been in much trouble for it, given the amount of times he's bullied me."
"Would have made you more of a target," Finn pointed out. "At the moment they don't use violence against you, 'cause you've never fought back. Trust us, we're looking out for you."
"Yeah, bros before hos and all that," Puck shrugged. Finn nodded, while Kurt gave him an odd look.
"You do realise," he pointed out slowly, "that you just referred to Karofsky as a 'ho'? And to me as your 'bro'?"
"Yeah," Puck nodded. "And?"
"Nothing," Kurt murmured as he turned and continued walking. A second later, both Puck and Finn had put an arm around his shoulders.
"You're our little bro," Finn explained cheerfully.
"And king of the fairies," Puck added. "We've got your back."
As the three entered their history class and he handed the teacher a note from Mr Schue, Kurt through that nothing could wipe the delighted smile from his face.
Finally, he had friends! As in, plural! And guys, too.
Though he doubted that it was the end of the dumpster dives. Puck was probably exactly the sort of big brother who would do that, while beating up anyone who laid a hand on him.
Ah well. It was worth it, to see Karofsky's face when he'd realised that he'd been beaten up by a pack of fairies.