The emptiness was blinding. The pain had disappeared as soon as it had arisen, but he'd preferred the aching pain for this cold, blackening emptiness. He took a look around. Where was he heading? He didn't care. All he could picture was the hard, indifferent face of the person that meant so much to him, that living without him seemed impossible. And now he had to. He would have to leave MJN Air, GERTI, Carolyn, Arthur and… Douglas. He wanted to scream, but when he opened his mouth, nothing but a squeaking sound left his dry throat. He sat down in what he realised had to be stairs, his back sunken to the wall. He was going to put his head in his hands, but didn't get anything to listen and sat as he did, limp and empty.
Not a single tear left his eyes. He wish that he could cry, cry the cold emptiness out, but sat without a single feeling, or a single sob. Douglas's face appeared for him again, cold, shocked and indifferent. He raised his right arm, and slapped himself in the face so hard he saw stars. What an idiot he'd been! Why would he go admitting his feelings for Douglas? Had he really thought that Douglas would care? Another hard slap found it's way right under his cheekbones. Douglas would surely find this funny, or just disturbing. It didn't make any difference, he had to leave now. He had to leave the three only things he'd ever loved in his life. And what was left to live for then?
Suddenly he felt a bit easier. Like he'd found the keyword. The word that could stop his misery. What was it to life for, then? Nothing. That was easy enough. Nothing. Not a single, bloody thing. He'd done his part of the world. Been one of those awkward people who always made a fool of them selves, and everyone around uncomfortable. A comforting smile appeared in the corner of his mouth. The world needed people like him too, so that people like Douglas could shine. As soon as Douglas's name crossed his mind, the smile disappeared again, and was replaced with determination. He managed to pull himself up; making the last ten steps up. He'd finally realized where he was heading. The roof of Fitton Airport.
As he stood on the edge of the roof, looking down, he wondered what it would feel like to fly. He'd always wanted to be an aeroplane. Just as he made the last step, a well-known voice shouted behind him.
"Martin, no! I love you!"
It was too late. He'd already gone over the edge. He heard Douglas's words, and wanted nothing more than to hang on to the roof, but he was falling. He screamed, desperately wishing he could make the last step undone. He couldn't. One sentence, filled with regret and despise, which he'd heard so many times, was the only thing that stood clear in his mind as he headed with a sickening speed against the ground. YOU'RE A FAILURE.