Monroe was already feeling on edge. Even though he was getting used to Nick constantly crashing at his house and making the concept of alone time pretty much non-existent. But it was a far cry from the privacy that he was so used to having. Which was why he found himself deep in the woods behind his house, looking for a couple hours to spend by himself. To spend being himself.
He had already gotten used to being less than wolf. But with Nick around constantly he had been pulling it being even farther, where as before he would occasionally relax a little bit. So at the first opportunity he had sneaked out here to spend a couple hours in his wolf form.
He could feel it prickling underneath his skin, itching to get out. To enjoy a little bit of freedom. He was always careful when doing this though, he couldn't let it have complete control as that could end very badly. But maybe just a little more control tonight then he would normally give it.
He took a deep breath and relaxed his body, letting his head drop back and his eyes close. He took another deep breath but instead of relaxing he felt his body tense back up. The prickling grew worse, as if it was trying to get out now before it missed it's opportunity. He was slow in realizing why before he could hear the twigs and leaves crunching, indicating that somebody was coming.
He could feel the growl building in his throat before he swallowed it back. He could smell the person now and knew who was coming. He ground his teeth and let his chin drop to his chest, crossing his arms and letting his hands fist the sides of his shirt. A couple hours. Couldn't he have a couple hours just to himself, was that too much to ask?
He did everything the Grimm wanted him too. He helped him with the cases when he asked. They lived together, they shared the same bed. He just needed a little time to himself. He knew he was reacting this way because he was stressed and tired and had had a bad day. He knew that he didn't really mind living and spending time with Nick. He knew that he even lo..really liked the Grimm. But none of that seemed to help right now.
He could feel himself tense a little bit more the closer he got. He didn't move but he tried mentally shouting at the other man to turn now and go back. Of course he didn't listen. When does he ever? He was in the clearing now, standing just a few feet behind him. His fists clenched and he didn't turn around.
"Monroe, there you are! I was looking for you."
Monroe grunted but didn't give a verbal response. Couldn't, his jaw was clenched too hard and he didn't think he could unclench it right now.
"What are you doing out here man? It's gettin' dark and I have dinner ready. I know it's not as good as anything you'd make but I..." Nick trailed off, laughing weekly. Monroe thought it was because he still hadn't moved or made any noise. And Nick was a Grimm, it probably wasn't hard for him to pick up on the weird energy that was practically suffocating the clearing.
"I, uh- I mean, I know you haven't eaten dinner yet and it is getting kinda late so I figured maybe you'd wanna eat with me..." Nick trailed off again and Monroe could hear his feet shuffle through the leaves.
Just go. Why couldn't he just go? Couldn't he see that he didn't want him here? No, he didn't want to eat dinner with Nick right now, no he didn't want to go back to the house right now. He didn't care if it was getting dark. He did care if Nick stayed out here and continued bugging him. Why couldn't he tell that something was wrong and just leave?
Of course not, because instead of leaving he was coming closer. Monroe had just enough warning before Nick came up behind him. "Monroe, are you okay?" And grabbed his shoulder to turn him around.
Monroe felt everything that he had been trying to keep down bubble up. He just wanted to be left alone. Everything was coming up. Before he could stop himself he could feel his lips pull back from his teeth and a deep growl burst out. He felt himself spin. Saw Nick take a step back in surprise. Didn't even see it happen, didn't even realize it had happened until Nick was several feet away, sprawled on the ground with a hand hovering over half of his face but not touching.
He could feel his hand burning and for a moment he felt satisfied, proud even. Until he realized what he had just done. Then it all drained away. Everything and being replaced with shock, horror, guilt, sadness, guilt, guilt, guilt.....
He had just hit Nick. Oh my god, he had just hit Nick. He had just hit Nick! "Nick." He gasped out, taking a clumsy step forward, heart slamming in his chest. Nick was still laid out on the ground, face turned away from him but when Monroe took a step forward he could see Nick jump, flinching back away from him.
"God. Nick, I....I don't know what just happened. I mean...I do but I didn't mean...I would never-" Monroe didn't want to see Nick flinch back from him again, in fact when he did it seemed like somebody just shot him in the chest, but he had to get close enough to look to see if Nick was alright.
He had hit him without even thinking about it, without making sure he wasn't using his full strength. He didn't know what kind of damage that would do to the Grimm.
Monroe took a deep breath. "Nick, listen. I know you don't want me near you right now and I know I deserve to be torn apart for what I just did...and I would be more than happy to let you do that after but I really have to take a look man, you might have to go the hospital.."
Monroe took another step forward and slowly kept going as Nick didn't move. "Nick, can you say something please?" Monroe pleaded as Nick neither moved or made a sound. Maybe in shock.
Nick made to shake his head but quickly stopped, body tensing and Monroe could hear a strangled moan. He was quickly dropping in front of Nick, holding both hands up where Nick could see them. He gently grabbed the hand that was hovering over half of Nicks face and pulled it away.
Nick wasn't looking at him but Monroe was too busy staring at Nicks cheek. It was already swollen and turning a black and purple color. He could also see the beginnings of a black eye and the eye itself on that side had red bleeding into it from blood vessels that had burst.
Monroe cursed and gently grabbed Nicks elbow, slowly pulling him to his feet. "I am so sorry Nick. So sorry...I have to get you to a hospital. Don't talk and try not to move your mouth too much okay? But I'm taking you to the hospital right now.."
Monroe walked Nick as quickly as he could back to the house and the truck while also being gentle as he could. Nick didn't pull away from him or look at him until they got to the truck. Then he pulled his arm from Monroes grasp and climbed into the passenger side of the truck.
Monroe ran inside the house to grab the keys before they were on the way to the hospital. The entire ride was made in silence and Monroes knuckles were white from where he gripped the steering wheel.
When they made it to the hospital Nick climbed out of the truck and started into the emergency room without waiting. Monroe hurried to catch up. Until Nick actually told him to leave then he was planning on staying by Nicks side.
The emergency room was empty and as soon as the nurse sitting behind the desk saw Nick she came forward with a clip board. She passed the board to Monroe when he motioned for it and made to take Nick back through the double doors. Monroe was right on his heels.
"I'm sorry sir, but only family is allowed back with the patient."
Monroe opened his mouth to argue but was cut off by Nick reaching over and grabbing the sleeve of his shirt. He tugged on the sleeve and pulled him closer, while nodding at the nurse.
The nurse hesitated for a moment before simply turning around and leading them through the doors and into a back room. "The doctor will be back in a minute and he'll probably be wanting to take you to get an x-ray." She left without saying anything further and they were again sitting in silence, his sleeve still in the grips of Nicks hand.
They were only waiting for a couple minutes before a older man with graying hair pushing through the curtain. "Hello. I'm Dr. Avery. What seems to be the problem this evening hm?"
He came forward and gently turned Nicks face so that he could see the bruise. "Hm. That looks painful. I'd ask you what happened but just looking at this I don't think I'd recommend you talking right now. Of course I won't know anything for sure until we get the x-rays done but let's hold off on explanations right now. I'll take you back to x-ray and let them get that done and then we'll come back here okay?"
Nick nodded slowly and stood up with the doctor. "Sorry sir, but they really do only allow the patient back in x-ray. But if you'd like you can sit here and we'll be back in about ten minutes." Monroe nodded and watched the two walk out.
True to the doctors words the were back in nine minutes and 38 seconds. Nick took his seat and the doctor put the x-ray pictures on the board.
"Okay, so by looking at these we can see that you're eyes fine. I was worried about detached retinas but we don't need to worry about that. The blood vessels will heal themselves and you're eye will be fine. But if you look here right under the eye, you can see that you have several cracks in your cheek bone and looking further down, right here, you see this line, that's a break in your jawbone."
Monroe couldn't help but stare at the x-rays. At the damage that it was showing. The damage that he had done. God, Nick was never going to forgive him for this, he didn't even know if he should be forgiven for this.
"What we'll have to do is get you into surgery so we can line the bones up and make sure that everything heals correctly. Let me go see what I can do about getting you in. I'll be back in a couple minutes. Here, if you need to talk then use this. I don't want you talking and aggravating that jaw." The doctor handed Nick a note pad and a pen.
As soon as the doctor had left Monroe was wrapped around Nick, arms tight around around. "Nick, I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I don't know what was wrong with me. I was just so stressed out and I just wanted to be alone, but that's absolutely no excuse for me doing this to you. Trust me, I know it's no excuse. And you'll probably never forgive me but I am really sorry. So sorry. And if you wanna kill me know then that's okay because I totally deserve and I don't deserve you and I'll probably lose you and...and I..." Monroe found himself pressing himself closer to Nick. If Nick was going to leave him then he wanted just one more moment with him.
Monroe didn't notice Nick pushing at his shoulders but he did feel it when Nick whacked him on the back of the head none to gently. Monroe jerked and Nick used that opportunity to push him back a little bit. Once he got his arms free he bent down over the notebook.
Monroe I love you.
We'll work through this.
I'll tear your arms off next though ok?
Still love you, still want you.