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After sliding his car into his parking spot and pulling the side break, Loki leaned his head back on the headrest and sighed. Something was getting him down these days. He felt tired for no reason and lost interest in everything. After he defeated Stark his clients had suddenly increased, but it wasn’t like he was driving himself to exhaustion with work - so why was he feeling so blue? Pressing down the urge to ditch work, get the car back out, and just drive off somewhere, Loki turned the engine off and got out of his car. He needed some kind of plan. Something fun..... yes, a vacation. Maybe it was time for him to take a vacation. Huffle would disapprove saying it’s their busiest time, but he hasn’t even been on a summer vacation. If Huffle didn’t want to see half the lawyers in the firm taking a vacation at the same time next summer, he should let him do this. Get a vacation, and... where should he go? The beach? The mountains? No; there was no need to stay in Midgard. He had been restraining himself from travelling inter-worlds in case he gets spotted by Odin or Heimdall. Now there was no need. It would be nice to go to Vanaheim, where he hadn’t been for a while; he remembered it as being a fertile and peaceful world, possibly the best place to relax and rest. The only drawback was that it was too close to Asgard... If he didn’t like that, there was also Alfheim. It was always fun there. Always..... Loki quickened his pace, trying hard to stop recalling the past adventures with Thor. In reconsideration, it seemed better to submerge himself in work and forget about getting a holiday. It wasn’t like his work used to be so fun and full of interesting things anyway. “Hey, Mr Ingensson?” Someone called out to him the moment he stepped into the lobby. Loki turned in reflex, then his expression hardened. “Mr Stark.” Tony approached Loki with a pleasant smile on his face and held out his hand. Feeling the furtive glances from everyone passing by them, Loki stared at that hand. “What are you doing here?” “Well, I was doing some business, you know?” Tony held up his StarkPad. “I may not look it, but I’m kind of a busy man; so even if I’m just waiting for a little while, I can’t just waste my time and-” “No, I am not asking you what you are doing; I am asking you why you are here.” Loki asked, still ignoring Tony’s hand. Tony shrugged his shoulders and pulled his hand back. “That’s simple. Your scary secretary was giving me evil looks and letting me know I’m unwelcome; waiting in front of your office was hard even for the man with the iron faceplate.” “You aren’t in your armour now.” “I was speaking figuratively.” Loki bit down his sigh and glared at Tony Stark. “For what purpose were you waiting for me?” “Huh? Can I say it? Here?” Tony spread his arms as if he was pulling a dance move. “Here, where the number of people eavesdropping while pretending not to is, let’s see... one, two, three... There’s around seven, give or take, and where there’s people trying to take photos and semi-paparazzis preparing to film us?” Loki estimated the weight of his briefcase. It’d make him feel totally refreshed and afford him great satisfaction if he could bash that face in, which was still brazen even when sans armour. ‘But I will get sued.’ He will definitely get sued. The witnesses will be numerous and there will be photos and those photos will be sold to trash newspapers and turned into articles, even. Since he had crushed the Avengers into smithereens legally, Tony Stark will happily - even shouting with joy, perhaps - sue him and attempt to do the same to him. He couldn’t do something that’d benefit others like that. Loki tried to calm himself. “I have nothing more to say regarding Thor Odinson.” With that, Loki passed him by and tried to head for the elevator. But Tony grasped his arm. “It’s nothing to do with Thor. Shouldn’t we pick up where we left off?” “Where we left off?” Loki wondered what exactly this madman was going on about. Tony grinned. “Our date.” Loki glared at Tony. Tony just kept on grinning. “....It’s time for my work soon.” In fact it was already time for his work. He was late for his work when he had made it safely to the building, thanks to bickering with Tony Stark. “Oh, don’t worry about the time; I already told Huff or whoever I’ll be borrowing you.” “It’s Huffle. And my job is a lawyer, not a call girl... shit.” Loki smoothed his hair back with one hand. Then he firmly grabbed Tony by his crisply-ironed fine suit and began making his way towards the elevator hall taking wide steps. “Hey, how about letting that hand go?” said Tony. “I don’t want to say this, but my suit’s getting wrinkled, you know?” “I am aware; don’t you realise that’s exactly my intention?” Dragging Tony along, he went up the stairs instead of taking an elevator. Normal stairways are not suitable for clandestine conversations as the sound echoes up and down, but: “Now, Tony Stark,” said Loki, turning to look back as he stood on the landing after walking up a flight of stairs. “Confess what tricks you are trying to pull.” His attitude was rather different from before, but Tony was unperturbed. “Oh, I don’t have to worry about people listening in now? Is it magic?” “That’s right.” Tony’s StarkPad and StarkPhone flew away from him into Loki’s hand. “Um, you didn’t have to go that far; I wasn’t secretly recording this or anything.” “It wouldn’t matter even if you did, as it can be solved by crushing you and these devices right here,” was what Loki said, but he still checked to see if any of the apps were running, and only then did he throw the tablet and the phone back to Tony. “You’ll kill me? But the number of people who’ve seen us two walk away was...” “I can kill you here, have a duplicate of yourself return home, then make it disappear - Tony Stark, don’t test my patience. I may not be as bad as Thor, but I am also quite capricious.” “So if you use that in a good way, that’d be great. Like continuing our date, for example.” “Are you serious?” Loki scoffed. “You want to date me, even after witnessing all that?” “Well, I did learn a bit about the situation,” Tony shrugged. “But I don’t get why you’re at fault; besides, Thor’s explanation was imperfect which didn’t help.” Loki blinked. “I... am not at fault?” “Yeah. Your older brother and his so-called friends are just annoying and don’t even regard you properly, your mother just repeats hazy stuff like you have to get used to it and you have to be friendly first and all that, and your father keeps telling you off going don’t do this and don’t do that and when you make something cool and show him he just looks at you with eyes that says ‘So what?’ and is only interested in the shortcomings and not even once says that he loves you.....” Tony gritted his teeth and swallowed. A lump was forming in his throat. He wasn’t going to get himself all worked up with his own words like this. “Not even once did he say that, not when he was still alive.....” He clenched his fists and kept his eyes on the floor of the stairway. “Of course you’d want to run away; if it was me, I’d have done a runner even if I didn’t look into the future or whatever. The present was already miserable enough. And if you were compared to a ‘perfect older brother’ on top of that.....” “So Howard Stark said he loved you after he died.” “At least Odin didn’t drink... well, wasn’t an alcoholic, right?” The two of them glowered at each other. “Even if you get told that after he died, it doesn’t wipe away all the wretched memories of your childhood, you know.” “I would think it is better than getting ignored when you are both still alive.” They fell into the silence, once again. “So, the date?” asked Loki. “Yeah,” Tony then added: “Restraining order only applies to Thor and I’m not involved with that, so the date’s all legit.” “But you are teammates. Wouldn’t Thor hate you dating me?” “I never ask their permission for all the stuff I do.” “Still... it may affect your teamwork.” “What is this, didn’t you want to make Thor suffer?” It was so; but Loki hesitated for a bit. “And what do you gain from this?” “Well, I’d get a sexy beautiful lover with a great figure who is an evil and intelligent lawyer and can even use magic. Also the new team leader of my legal advice team.” Loki raised his eyebrow. “Don’t you worry, Stark Industry doesn’t ban employee relationships.” “How very like you.” “The whole deal’s not bad, right? And you know Thor will get kicked out every time you come around to my place.” “About Thor, if I say I don’t want to sleep with the teammate of that stalker?” Tony grinned. “If you really didn’t want to, you wouldn’t have said ‘if I say I don’t want to’, but ‘I don’t want to’.” Loki smiled, baring his teeth. “Tony Stark, you seem to consider yourself to be rather clever.” “Hell no,” Tony opened his eyes wide, as if asking him how can he say something so utterly preposterous, and shook his head vigorously. “I don’t think that at all, not one bit.” Loki knitted his brows. “Then?” Tony spread his arms wide. “I’m a genius of a fucking best-in-the-world calibre, not rather clever or something lame like that!” “.......Hah.” Once he began laughing, he couldn’t stop. Loki began to double up in laughter. “What is that, that is so dumb.” “Dumb? Didn’t I just tell you I’m a genius?” “Dumb.” Tony gave him an injured look. Loki added in jest. “Dumb dumb dumb.” “Hey, Mr Ingensson?” “You can call me Loki,” then he thought for a moment and added: “Call me His Highness Great Loki, the Mighty Sorcerer and a Great Sage who is the Saviour of the World and also the Skywalker who is the Prince of Two Realms.” “...Right. Sorry, StarkPhone doesn’t let you input more than fourteen letters. Can I just put you under HHGLMSGSSWSPTR?” Loki smiled. Smiling, he said, “Die.” “Hey, let’s talk about this! Just tell me if you don’t like it, I’m against violence!” While Loki was opening the window, Tony ran away from his reach, putting his hand on the banister and jumping over. He was sure that Loki would’ve defenestrated him if he was just one moment too late. “Then I will crush that StarkPhone instead!” “I’d rather you throw me down!!” It took less than three days for a photo of Tony and Loki in the cafe, sitting face to face with tender expressions on their faces, to appear in a tabloid newspaper. Steve pushed the newspaper in question towards the centre of the table and struck the tabletop. “Um, Steve, you doing that’d dent it.” “Do you think you are in any position to worry about denting the table?” Steve managed to lower his voice, just about. It was hard enough getting everyone together without Thor. He didn’t want to be the one summoning him. “Explain what this is.” Steve was glaring at him with angry eyes but Tony just shrugged. “As you can see I’m on a date with Loki. It’s not indecent or anything, we’re just sat facing each other and not even our knees are tou.....” “You know Captain’s not talking about the decency of the photo,” said Natasha, giving Tony a look. “What are you playing at? You know very well how heartbroken Thor is; how can you do this to him even if you’re you?” “Why are you so quick to presume what I do is wrong?” protested Tony, feeling it’s unfair. “I could be doing this with good intentions, you know?” “Thing is, we aren’t genius billionaire philanthropists so we can’t even imagine how you can act this way, with what kind of good intentions,” said Clint. “Of course it is with the good intention to reconcile Thor and Loki.” Tony pulled a very genius-like expression, as if to say he couldn’t understand why others didn’t get this. “Try explaining that in human language, not in genius language, then,” said Clint. “I’m reporting everything you say to Coulson so consider that too.” “I’ll explain even if you don’t threaten me like that, you know,” Tony replied, sulking. “Wait, that makes it sound like I’m afraid of Coulson, doesn’t it? No way, even if he had threatened me with a taser, I am not afraid of Coulson at....” “Natasha, your Widow's bite gives out electric shock, right? Can I borrow it?” asked Clint. “Okay, I’ll talk! I will!” Tony corrected his stance and even cleared his throat, as if to show them he is telling the truth. “So, let’s begin with clarifying the major premise. We all want Thor to make up with his brother, right?” Everyone nodded. “Now we move into the area of assumptions and suppositions and imagination; I reckon Loki hates Thor, but doesn’t just hate him. He loves him in his own way, though not in a positive way. Anyone who disagrees with me?” Natasha and Clint shook their heads straightaway, while Steve did so after considering it for a moment. “So what we have to do is to turn his affection into a positive way, at the same time satisfying his thirst for revenge to a certain degree.” “What do you mean by satisfying his thirst for revenge? Are you saying we should take Loki’s side and be cruel to Thor?” asked Steve. “Is that really a good idea?” “The good Cap might not get it,” Tony gave his attention to the other two. “But if it was me, and - now this is a big if - if my father suddenly becomes alive again and comes back and give me a hug, I’d be happy but I’d like to sock him in the mouth at least once; you know what I mean?” “I get you,” said Clint. “Yeah, I agree with being cruel Thor just a little.” “But how will you do that?” asked Natasha. “The way things are standing now, when Loki comes around, Thor has to be kicked out of the house automatically.” “That’s going too far!” shouted Steve. “Are you completely heartless?” “Cap, Cap, Cap,” Tony shook his forefinger. “Now, see this from Thor’s point of view. Someone who’s dear to him, whom he thought dead, appears in front of him. However, he can’t go and see him. In that case, is it better for him to see him at least for a moment though he gets kicked out of his own house, or is it better for him to carry on, never getting to see him at all?” Steve opened his mouth, then shut it again. “That’s.” Bucky. Peggy. The Howling Commandos. If he could see any of them, one more time, even just for one moment. If he could even catch a glimpse, just passing them by. “That’s.....” “Let’s return to our precondition,” Tony continued, gleeful now that he had successfully pulverized Captain’s opposition. “Loki also doesn’t want to just hate Thor. He loves him and wants to see him also. But the... his pride? Maybe because the law of inertia applies to his hatred? Something along those lines stops him from being honest and ends with him just tormenting Thor. But now he’s got the restraining order, he doesn’t get a chance to do that; which is a checkmate for Loki, too. At this point, if we give him a chance to pass Thor by like this, even for a short moment, he’d be pleased to see him getting kicked out but will feel a bit sorry for him. He’d feel he didn’t mean to go that far.” “I understand your logic,” said Steve. “Still..... still, isn’t going out with him bit too much? Considering how Thor reacted when you first said you’ll be on a date with Loki...” “Which means Loki would be able to see that Thor still loves him as his brother and tries his best to protect him.” “I don’t think that’s all there is to it,” said Clint. “It’s because it’s the simplest excuse, isn’t it? Tony Stark doesn’t need a reason to flirt with a beauty, but to approach him in any other way.....” “That’s right. Also, we shouldn’t forget one important fact,” said Tony. “Everyone, everyone who keeps an eye on the Avengers knows that Thor has a restraining order against Loki Ingennson. In other words, our enemies have their intel on him too.” “Loki denied their relationship, but those with eyes and ears won’t believe that,” said Natasha. “Among us, Thor is the sturdiest one and the one without any weak points. But now he has this guy around him who is relatively.....” she knitted her brows. “Don’t know how he is for real, but this brother of his seems smaller and less sturdy than him. Yes. Even I’d go after Loki.” “But we are teammates of the stalker who got a fucking restraining order. We haven’t the means to guard him legally,” said Tony. “But it’s a different story if he becomes my lover. Thor can’t be helped but the other three changes from the teammates of the stalker to the teammates of the lover.” “Even if you get caught on the CCTV around his flat at night, it won’t get you court summons,” Clint put in for him. “That’s right.” “...Right, I get it,” Steve held up his hands. “I get that you planned this thinking of Thor, and that there’s real possibility of it really working.” Tony grinned victoriously. “That’s more like it.” “Then let’s go and tell Thor,” and Steve stood up. “What?” “...What do you mean ‘what’? We should tell Thor that you’re pretending to go out with his brother for these reasons, so he shouldn’t get upset or angry and can just wait for the outcome...” “That won’t make the bullying work properly.” Steve glared at Tony again. “I’ll ask you once again; why are you doing all this?” asked Steve. “To get Thor and Loki to make up.” “Then why should you bully Thor ‘properly’ in the process? Isn’t it better to reduce unnecessary pain?” “It is necessary pain. If Thor is aware of this plan, he wouldn’t look like a kicked puppy that’d make Loki’s heart twinge with sympathy and guilt when they meet; he’d just go ‘See you later, brother!’ and Loki would think it’s strange and he’ll torture me and while I’m confident I can withstand that, I’d like to reduce unnecessary pain, too.” “..............” “You don’t think Thor can fool Loki with his acting skills, do you, Cap?” “..............” “Right, so it’s all agreed?” Tony grabbed Steve’s limp hand and shook it. “Any other questions?” “Nope,” said Clint. “Nat and I’ll take turns to keep an eye on Loki.” “Good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get ready for my date.” Tony walked out of the dining area with light steps. Natasha turned her attention to Steve. “Erm, Cap?” Steve put his arms on the table and buried his head on them. “Well, I understand you can’t accept it all but what Tony said is ri.....” “When I die and meet Stark... Howard Stark, I will definitely have a talk about why he brought his son up like that.” Natasha looked at Clint. Clint looked sympathetic. “Erm...... maybe we can join you?”