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That Blasted Thing

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That Blasted Thing

Mr. Gold stared at the town hall's clock, watching as the hands moved. Each minute passed filled him with a sense of both satisfaction and dark glee. Oh, how the Queen must rage at this, this first sign that the curse was weakening, breaking.

Time finally returned to Storybrooke.

The clock rung for the full hour, and Gold grinned despite himself. Such a lovely sound. He could almost hear her Majesty grinding her teeth at it. Such joy small things bring.

A tingle went across his palms, but Gold just flexed his fingers, sending it away. He got up from the bench, and started walking back to his shop. Perhaps he could stop by Granny's for a bite to eat. Maybe some cocoa, he was after all in an excellent mood.

Archie nodded at him as they passed on the street, giving the older man a warm smile. Gold shook his head fondly, and kept walking, his cane clacking against the pavement. Honestly, what had he been thinking. He had requested discretion, and the good doctor was trying, sure enough. He was simply as obvious as a ton of bricks sometimes.

The tingle appeared again, this time across his knees. Gold paused to rub it away and continued on. He had no deals today, so he could spend the day however he felt like. Perhaps he'd relax with a good book. Perhaps he'd clean the more amusing items in his shop. Perhaps he'd take a nice long bath, with bubbles of course. Perhaps he'd take Archie up on his offer of a dinner and a movie.

The tingle came again, across his thighs and edging slightly onto his groin, and Gold froze in the entrance of his shop. He took a careful step forward, then closed the door. He cupped himself through his pants and deliberately thought of Archie again.

The tingle appeared and traveled between his legs.

Oh no. He hadn't thought of that. It hadn't been a problem for centuries, his magic taking care of his little problem, but how could he have forgotten about it once he was human again? True, time stood still here, so of course it didn't come, it couldn't come in a world that was unchanging. But yesterday Emma arrived and time returned.

Crap. Shit. Fuck, he was screwed. Screwed and fucked, both at the same time. Again.

Rage welled up in his chest, and Gold grabbed the closest thing he could reach then hurled it at the wall. It didn't help that much, so he grabbed another and another. Then another. He yelled out his anger and helplessness and continued smashing everything he could get his hands on.

And there were oh so many items in his shop.


Ruby startled when she heard the smash coming from Mr. Gold pawn shop. She jumped back slightly when another smash followed, then someone started shouting. Not words, just a really loud bellow.

Shit, who did Gold piss off this time? And how much? Or a better question: should she help? On one hand, she hated the fucker. On the other hand, he was their landlord. If she didn't help him, he might raise their rent. Then Granny would have her ass.

Another smash sounded, and Ruby decided it really was better to help Gold. No matter how twisted a fuck he was, walking away from someone getting his face smashed in was a no-go.

She steeled herself, then opened the pawn shop door. “Hey!” She yelled, trying to look menacing (while wearing very short red shorts. Yeah.). “Drop it!”

Except there wasn't anyone there. Just Mr. Gold, standing in the middle of his shop, surrounded by destroyed merchandise. The man was panting heavily, face red, eyes wide open and kinda crazy looking.

“What.” He growled at her, his face twisting into a snarl. His hand tightened around the antique lamp he held, so much that the knuckles turned white.

Ruby swallowed audibly, then shook her head. “Nothing. My mistake.” She backed up slowly, then closed the door behind her. A moment later, the lamp was hurled at her through the window, smashing into pieces against the reinforced glass. Another moment passed, and more smashing followed, along with those rage filled screams sounding again.

Right. Ruby decided this was the perfect moment to call the Sheriff. And maybe Dr. Hopper too, he was trained in calming down crazy people, right?


When Archie got to the pawn shop, Sheriff Humbert was already there. Graham was crouching next to the open doorway, looking inside with a worried expression. The Sheriff pulled Archie down next to him before he could barge into the pawn shop, hissing at him to stay put.

“What are you doing here?” He demanded, glaring at the therapist.

“I called him.” Ruby explained, peering into the shop through the window. A second later she ducked down when something slammed into the glass. “He can talk him down, right?”

“I can certainly try, if someone would explain to me what was going on.” Archie said, trying to look into the pawn shop. “Is Gold okay?”

“Considering that he's the one smashing everything to Hell, yeah, I assume he is.” Ruby snarked at him, risking a look through the glass again. “Now he's banging his cane into a kinda-cupboard like thing.”

“The mahogany cabinet?” Archie asked, huffing when the Sheriff yanked him back again. “I've been saving up to buy that.”

“Shopping talk aside, doctor,” Graham glared at them both. “Unless either one of you has a sedative on you, there's not much you can do other than make him more mad.”

“I could run to the hospital.” Ruby offered, edging away from the window. “Get some there.”

“No.” Archie protested, shaking his head firmly. “The clinic is closer. Just ask Doc Pickins or Nurse Gapa. Be sure to ask them for a light sedative and muscle relaxant.”

“Got it.” Ruby gave him a thumbs up, then took off running.

“Great.” The Sheriff sighed, rubbing his temple in agitation. “Until she gets back, how about you try to get rid of the gawkers while I make sure Gold doesn't go crazy outside the shop.”

Archie turned around to look at the sizable crowd gathered across the street. “Right. I'll try.”

“Tell them someone didn't pay on time, and Gold's psyching himself up for a brutal murder.” The Sheriff offered, peeking carefully through the open door.

The doctor blinked at him. “I'll consider it.”


“How'd you get all the people to leave?” Ruby asked, panting heavily. She handed the already prepared syringe to Archie, then sunk down against the wall with a tired huff.

“...I used the sheriff's idea. Not too proud of that.”

“Did you tell them that Gold finally snapped and that he was gonna rip the throat out of the first person who doesn't want to pay him back? With his teeth.” She smiled cheekily at them.

Archie blanched. “Jesus. He's not that bad, is he?”

There came the sound of something rather large breaking into several smaller bits.

“Enough chit-chat.” Graham decided. “The shot ready?”

Archie tapped the syringe to get rid of air bubbles. “Ready.”

“Okay. I'll tackle him to the ground, then you jab him with the needle.”

“Fine by me. Just be careful of his leg, alright?”

The Sheriff gave him a look that clearly stated Archie should seek counselling himself. To emphasize said look, a hand-crafted mirror flew out of the shop through the open door and smashed in the side passenger window in the squad car.

Archie winced. “I don't want him to be hurt?”

Graham looked pointedly at the squad car.

“Right.” Archie sighed, then shifted position. “On your mark?”

Graham nodded, then stood slowly. “One... two... now!”


Archie emptied the syringe into Gold's thigh, rubbing the spot to get the sting out. “Done.”

Graham grunted from where he was pressing the pawnbroker into the floor. “Great. Help me hold him down.” Gold snarled like a wounded animal and nearly managed to buck him off. “Bastard's strong.”

Archie nodded, and lay down across the crazed man's legs to stop the kicking. While there, he rubbed and massaged where he knew the scar was, silently praying the sedative would take effect soon.

Ten minutes later, it did.

“Gold?” The Sheriff asked, leaning down to peer at the other's face. “Are you calm now?”

“Get off me or I'll raise your rent through the roof.” The pawnbroker snarled weakly, suddenly feeling too tired to even twitch a finger.

“I'll take that as a yes.” Graham said, climbing off the older man's back. “You wanna tell me what the hell this was about?”

“Not particularly, no.” Gold replied, closing his eyes. “I'd appreciate it if you all left now.”

“No can do.” Graham motioned to Archie and the two of them got Gold off the floor. “There a couch anywhere here?”

“In my office.” Gold said, hanging limply between them. He didn't protest nor voice any objections when they dragged him out of the display area and into the other room. He grunted softly when they accidentally jarred his back leg as they set him down on the sofa.

“Alright. I need to take your statement.” Graham said, taking out a notebook.

Gold said nothing.

Archie kneeled next to the couch, laying a gentle hand on Gold's shoulder. “Did something happen? If you have a problem of some kind, the Sheriff and I would be happy to help.”

The pawnbroker snorted. “I bet.”


Gold sighed heavily and closed his eyes, rubbing his temple tiredly. “I realized my heat is coming and I lost control for a few moments.”

Archie cocked his head in confusion. “Your heat?”

The Sheriff closed his notebook with a snap. “I know you're only a Gamma, dr. Hopper, but use your nose.” He turned to Gold. “So basically, you flipping out and smashing most of your merchandise was a case of PHS?”

Gold pursed his lips angrily, but nodded.

“Uh huh. Considering you only destroyed your own property, and I seriously doubt that you'll press charges against yourself, I'm leaving. I'll send you a bill for the squad car.” Graham said, then turned on his heel and left.

Archie watched him go, then turned back to Gold. He leaned closer to the supine body and took a long strong sniff. Come to think of it, his Trinket did smell a little different, sweeter, yet more spicy. The scent had a quality to it, like a lingering promise of something wonderful.

Archie cleared his throat, feeling suddenly awkward. “About your outburst...” he paused and licked his lips. “Um... weren't you aware of it? You being an Omega, I mean.”

“I thought I was too old. That I... that the blasted thing was over and done with. I don't even get slick anymore!” Gold sighed heavily, as if he was bone tired. “I was wrong.”

“And you're... worried what will happen when your heat comes?”

Gold let out a long, slow exhale. “I'm an unbonded Omega, doctor. I think you've heard the tales of what happens to those.”

After a few moments of tense silence, the doctor placed one hand on Gold's knee. “You know...” Archie cleared his throat awkwardly. “Since we're already in a relationship... maybe I could bond with you? I mean, if you wanted.”

Gold stared at him for a moment, face unreadable, then gave him one of business smirks – cold and indifferent. “I'm an Omega, dear doctor. I deserve to be wooed and all that rot.”

“I did woo you.” Archie argued, petting the knee under his fingers.

“Are you referring to those six months when you bumbled around helplessly until I took pity and allowed you into my bed?”

“Potayto, potahto.”

Gold chuckled softly, but the smile quickly slid off his face. “You are aware that when my heat hits, everyone in this town will break down my doors? Eager to get one up over the evil Mr. Gold.”

Archie bit his lip, then decided it would be best to ask. “Did... that... happen to you before?”

“My previous home was in a town where there were many Alphas eager to sample any Omega available. Willing or not.”

“...Ah... Is that how you got your son?”

Gold said nothing and that was answer enough.

“I'll ask the Sheriff to keep watch then. He won't mind.”

“He'll probably be the first one on me.”

“Don't be so negative. Isn't he with Regina?”

Gold pursed his lips and said nothing.

Archie frowned at him worriedly. “You really think it'll be that bad? Your heat, I mean.”

“It has always been so in the past, and I am quite certain that it will be so again.”

“If you were already bonded, it would be better though, right? Only your bonded would react to your heat.”

“True. But that would only serve to place them in a position of power over me. And that is just too big a temptation for anyone, don't you think, doctor?”

“It isn't for me.” Archie reassured him, grabbing Gold's hand. “I swear.”

“Now doctor. What's that you always say about lying?”

“I'm not lying, Trinket.”

“I've asked you many times not to call me that.” Gold said, looking out the window in disinterest, looking tired and resigned to what he thought was his fate.

Archie glared slightly at the stubborn man, then sat back, thinking furiously. If spoken reassurances don't work on the man, then maybe he should speak a language he was sure to understand.

“How about we make a deal then?” He proposed.

That got Gold's attention. “A deal.”

“Yes. We bond and I promise that nothing will change between us.”

“Oh really?” The pawnbroker sounded skeptical. “You won't try to control how I deal with my customers?”

“Well, I'm not that knowledgeable about pawnbrokering. I wouldn't even know where to start.” That didn't seem to reassure the older man, so Archie tried again. “Besides, you don't butt in on my counselling. It's only fair.”

A smile. “And you won't try to order me around?”

“I very much doubt that I could order you to do anything. I know I'll regret it if I even think about it.”

“And you won't demand I play fair with my deals?”

“You always play fair.” Archie paused, thinking about what he just said. “Well, maybe you're not. But you're not Regina, you don't lull people into a false sense of security. They know from the start that you're a heartless business man. That never changes with you.”

Gold stared at him, then closed his eyes with a small chuckle. “You probably won't even demand a child from me, will you?”

“A child would be nice, sure. But I'm not that certain about demanding one from you. It should be a joint decision, don't you think?”

Gold stared at the ceiling, smiling slightly. “Tell me one more thing. If Henry turns out to be right, and this little curse of his breaks, what will you do if I happen to be an immoral, monstrous imp set on the misery of all those around me?”


“Just answer the question.” Gold demanded harshly, then softened his tone. “I am rather curious. What will you do?”

Archie frowned at him in worry, then look upwards thoughtfully. “Well... First I think I would explain to everyone that the imp isn't really that monstrous. Then I would... disapprove strongly at your immorality.”

Gold glanced at him. “And you wouldn't try to force me to be moral?”

“Forcing does nothing, from a psychological point of view. I much prefer reasoning. Maybe some spanking if the imp is very naughty.”

Despite himself, Gold laughed loudly. “Very well then, doctor. I will hold you to our deal.”

Archie smiled brightly at him. “Then you agree to bond with me?”

“With such solid terms, I would be a fool not to.”

Archie laughed and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek. “I'm so happy you're not a fool then.”

“Indeed, dearie.” Gold smirked at him, eyes half closed. “Would you prefer now or during my heat?”

“Before the heat, but I think we should wait for the sedative to wear off first. So you can fully enjoy all I'm going to do to you.” He pressed his lips to Gold's firmly, carding his fingers through the older man's hair. “Plus, I need to stock up on condoms. Unless you-”

“Maybe another time.” Gold said, and squirmed slightly, getting himself into a more comfortable position. He closed his eyes, and sighed sleepily.

Archie settled down next to him, and pulled Gold into an embrace, kissing him again. “You sleep now, Trinket. We'll talk more in the morning.” The doctor nuzzled at Gold's temple, then tugged the blanket over them both.


Archie sighed the contract with a flourish, smiling at Gold. “Are you satisfied?”

“Currently, yes. But you might still renegade on our deal. It happens more often than you think.”

“Yes, but must I remind you about paragraph 9, subsection b? If I break our contract, you're entitled to half of everything I own and to the removal of my genitals. I'm rather attached to those.”

“The latter more than the former, I'd imagine.”

“Exactly.” Archie smiled, and rolled the contract up, trying it neatly with a red bow. “There.”

Gold reached out to take the document, but the doctor caught his hand. “If you ever decide we don't need this contract anymore,” he said seriously. “You're more than free to destroy it. I won't mind.”

Gold considered him for a moment, than nodded. Archie released him, and the pawnbroker walked up to his safe, placing the contract inside.

The safe doors closed with a click, and Archie let out a breath. It was done then. Now all he had to do was wait for his Trinket to initiate the consummation of their deal.


It was a few more days before Gold was ready for a bond. He seemed a little reluctant at the beginning, glancing around the room nervously as Archie undressed him. But the doctor was prepared for bonding-jitters and kisses the little worry lines away from around the older man's mouth. He kept kissing him as the clothes fell away one by one, then as he lay Gold across the bed.

He broke away briefly to take off his own clothes, then climbed up onto the bed, laying across the other's lean body.

“You know, we don't have to bond now. We could just wait the few days for your heat.”

“No. I prefer it now.” When I can still control myself. “Get on with it then.”

Archie petted his side, feeling the muscles twitch under his touch. “I will once you relax.”

Gold groaned and rubbed at his temples in agitation. “I do apologize. We have done this many times, and yet now...” He trailed off, glaring at the ceiling.

Archie smiled at the little wrinkle that appeared across the older man's nose with the expression. “We've never bonded before. It's perfectly natural to be nervous.”

“Spare me the psychobabble and get on with it.” Gold snarled at him, and his nose wrinkled further. And despite the fact that Mr. Gold was one of the most dangerous people in Storybrooke, if not the world, that little wrinkle made him adorable.

So Archie just kissed him again and again and once more. He kept kissing him until Gold relaxed and wrapped his arms around the therapist's shoulders, pulling him even closer.


Archie gave one last lick to the quivering opening, then shifted, bringing his fingers back. He pushed three in, and they went easily. The little ring of muscles glistened around the digits, both from the lube Archie'd used and Gold's own limited slick. It seemed his Trinket was right on being old. Omegas didn't usually need any lube, especially this close to a heat.

But that didn't really matter, Archie decided, removing his fingers. He wasn't that young himself.

He got up on his knees, and rolled the condom on. Then he grabbed the lube, slicking himself up quickly. The older man watched him, eyes hooded and breath coming out in short pants. When the therapist edged closer, he spread his knees farther apart and raised his hips in invitation.

Archie groaned as he sunk into Gold's welcoming body, arching his back as he sunk all the way in. His Trinket let out a slow, deep breath, taking him easily. When Archie was completely inside, he gave a small, pleased sigh and reached towards him, pulling the younger man down for a kiss.

Archie obliged, pressing their lips together. He waited a moment, then started moving. First shallowly, pulling back only an inch before slipping back inside. Gold shifted, sighing again, then pressed his knees against Archie's hips. Not stopping him, just holding him as he moved.

Archie smiled and reached backwards, petting one leg from hip to knee. He started pulling back more, two-three inches at a time. He made sure to press their hips together tightly as he pushed back in, so much that Gold's shifted upwards with each thrust he made. The older man bit his lip, worrying it as Archie's thrusts got faster, harder. He gasped when Archie suddenly started mouthing against his neck, crying out when the other man nearly slammed back in.

Archie kept licking and nipping at the graceful neck, leaving little red bruises across the pale skin. Gold groaned, the sound vibrating under Archie's lips. The pawnbroker threaded his fingers through the other man's curly hair, pulling at it each time the redhead's aim proved true and he struck his prostate.

Before long, Archie felt a tightening sensation around the base of his cock, where his vestigial knot was. He regretfully abandoned his lover's neck, and lifted up onto his arms. This gave him more leeway in his movements, easier to keep the angle against Gold's prostate. His Trinket approved, crying out louder, eyes falling shut in pleasure. Archie clenched his teeth as he felt his orgasm nearing, pushing it down. Not yet, not yet.

He leaned down suddenly, and bit at where Gold's shoulder met his beautiful neck. He didn't break the skin, but the action helped the coils forming around the edges of their consciousness to solidify, helped the bond to form. It had already started when Archie first pushed in, but the redhead wanted a strong bond, he wanted to be Gold's bonded, he wanted to prove that what they had was just as real and strong as one with an Alpha. Wanted to prove that his Trinket could trust him, trust in him.

Gold cried out loudly, wrapping his arms tightly around Archie's shoulders. He panted into the redhead's ear, his warm breath puffing across flushed skin and Archie groaned. He clenched his teeth tighter, slammed back in harder. He slid his arms under the older man's back, pulling him slightly off the bed, pressing them firmly together.

With an almost startled gasp, Gold threw his head backwards, almost keening. The muscles surrounding Archie tightened and the redhead groaned, gasping when he felt wetness spreading between their stomachs. It was difficult, but Archie paused in his thrusting. He unclenched his jaw, then slowly lowered his lover back onto the bad, waiting for the spasming muscles to settle down before he started up again.

As he moved, he rubbed at Gold's chest, tweaking his nipples, eliciting small moans and gasped hisses. The redhead let the sounds wash over him, fueling the fire tightening in his abdomen. He groaned and cried out Gold's name, then came too. The older man gasped when he felt the cock inside him twitching, his bent legs once again pressing tightly against the younger man's hips.

Archie closed his eyes tightly, breathing deeply in an effort to calm himself. He felt both tired and content. Happy. The feeling seemed to almost resonate across his mind. Then Gold's hand smoothed across his cheek, a thumb tracing the line of Archie's eyebrow and he got it.

The happiness echoing inside him wasn't just his. He opened his eyes and his lover's (his bondmate's) brown eyes blinked up at him, a small smile playing at those beautiful lips.

With an ecstatic laugh, Archie leaned down to kiss the other, pressing their forehead's together once their parted.

“Wasn't that bad, right?” he asked, well aware he was grinning like a fool.

“I'm gratified to admit you were right.” Gold said with a small chuckle. “Though I will hold you to our deal still.”

“I'm counting on it.” Archie wrapped his arms around the older man, hugging him close. “Because as long as that deal stands, you're mine just as much as I'm yours.”

Gold just mm-ed in reply and their happiness continued sounding in their minds.