What finally broke my heart wasn't the simple, but telling things that spoke so very loudly over the gestures themselves. It wasn't the way he avoided connecting our gazes when I - for the very first time, - admitted out loud that I had magic, nor was it how he began to escape my presence more often than not in those months before sleep overtook Camelot. It had very little to do with the lingering sense that he had fallen in love with some other girl or even the fact he never spoke of it despite our friendship. It cracked, but did not shatter even as he plead for forgiveness as I panted helplessly in his arms from the poison I drank by his will.
What finally broke that that carefully guarded thing in my chest was a dream not a month later.
This dream did not carry me visions of the future I so feared, it brought me along to a day in my past. I watched my own frantic efforts to light a fire with the mundane method of flint and piece of steel, I looked on as I failed.
Then he showed up beside me, taking them from my shaking hands and the face of my past became distracted by something that had caught her attention further away. So now I was the only one seeing it as the gangly young man with the bright eyes and adorable ears took time to look at the other version of me for but a second, placed his empty palm over the spilled oil and mouthed something neither I nor anyone else could hear.
The resulting fire went unnoticed as all that I could focus on were the golden glint his eyes acquired.
The scream that erupted across the woods I was - together with Morgause, - hiding in was the most horrible sound I could remember ever hearing. Only the furthest corners of my dazed mind realized it was coming from me.
He had magic. He who stood by in silence, letting me feel like the only magical being behind the walls of prison Camelot had become... was a sorcerer. Merlin had already betrayed me, had already lied, but now he finally broke my heart.
It was the night I would later recall as the last where tears fell from my eyes for him or anyone else.
This was the night that forged Morgana Le Fay.