There was screaming coming from the living room.
“Oh my god, what the fuck are you doing?! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”
“Darcy?” Clint asked, poking his head warily inside the archway. “Who are you yelling at?”
There wasn't anyone else in the room that he could see, just Darcy sitting in front of the television. She didn't seem to have heard him.
I can't even—oh my god, you just paralyzed Sti—STEREK!”
She screamed and Clint and Tony, who was pearing around him confusedly, both jumped as all of Darcy's popcorn flew into the air. Then, inexplicably, she began giggling. On screen, one of the guys fell on top of the other guy, not moving.
“Get. Him. Off of me,” the guy on the bottom grunted out. The screen switched back to another guy, a teenager if Clint had to guess.
“Oh, I don't know Derek. I think you two make a pretty good pair.”
“Oh my god, Matt ships STEREK!” echoed throughout the room suddenly and Clint nearly tipped over when Tony's grip on his back tightened. That was Jane's voice. Jane, who was in New Mexico for some new experiment with the bifrost. What the hell?!
“I know, right?!” Darcy exclaimed.
“I bet you're not used to feeling this helpless,” the guy on the screen said, the one who wasn't on the ground, and Clint shook his head when he heard Darcy shhhh Jane to hear the next part.
“I still got some teeth. Why don't you get down here a little closer. We'll see how helpless I am.”
Darcy and Jane both suddenly squealed and Clint moved quietly, shaking off Tony, to move up the assistant. A quick look over the couch found Jane on Darcy's laptop screen, obviously Skyping. He shook his head when the physicist didn't even notice him appearing behind Darcy in the camera—she must have been watching her own television set. He waited until what he thought would be a good moment, when the one kid shot another one in front of his mother, to speak.
“What are you watching?” he asked quietly, standing directly behind her.
It wasn't the best idea he'd ever had.
Darcy screamed, her Stark-made taser coming up on what he knew immediately was instinct.
Clint's eyes widened and he made an attempt to get out of the line of fire but failed and suddenly he was on his back, twitching as Darcy scrambled over the couch, babbling apologies even as the taser continued sparking.
“Trigger,” he grunted out and Darcy stared at him a moment before she seemed to understand; with a shriek, she dropped the taser to the ground, falling herself to put a hand on his shoulder. Then Tony appeared, dragging her back before she could make contact.
“Not a good idea,” he told her, picking the taser up and dislodging the cartridge. “Give him a few minutes to stop twitching. He's going to be oversensitive. I know, me and Bruce accidentally tasered ourselves twice making this thing.”
“Darcy, what happened, what's going on??!” Jane was yelling in the backyard and he could hear Thor adding his own demands. Obviously the television show was forgotten.
“It's nothing, Clint just got tasered because he startled Darcy,” Tony assured them. He glanced at the screen and smirked. “JARVIS, whatever this show is, get a copy of the episode for Darcy to re-watch later. Also, get Steve, Barton probably weighs a ton with all those muscles and I am not lugging his ass to medical.”
Clint made an aggrieved sound, which was about all he could handle right now. Tony was right, he was much more sensitized than with a normal taser. Darcy whimpered, hand hovering over his shoulder but not actually making contact, for which he was grateful. At this piont, he'd either scream or get hard, neither of which he wanted to subject Darcy to—especially with Tony in the room. If the billionaire heard his pitiful whimper, he ignored it. “Jane, Thor, we're going to get Barton to Bruce to make sure he's not completely incapacitated. We'll call once we're sure he'll be okay.”
Then, horror of horrors, a familiar form appeared in his line of vision. Natasha looked down at him severely, a frown on her face as she took him in. “What happened?” she and Steve asked and he glanced down, not moving his head, just his eyes, to see Steve standing there with his hands on his hips and looking all Captain-like.
“Darcy tasered Barton,” Tony replied a touch too gleefully.
“Why?” they both asked, though Natasha was much calmer about it than Steve, the bitch. He cursed out through the pain, which was all he could really manage at this point, and Tony, damn him, smirked.
“Because he startled her,” Tony replied. “Seriously, Barton, its your own damn fault. Even I know you don't just walk up to someone watching a suspense sequence and ask what they're watching when they think they're alone.”
Darcy made an embarrassed, worried sound that made him want to pat her shoulder, maybe give her a kiss, and assure her he'd be fine. But he was too busy eying the way Natasha was grinning and mentally preparing himself for what would eventually come.
Clint Barton, felled by a taser-weilding Darcy in his own home.
His partner was never going to let him hear the end of this.
“Come on, lets get you to Bruce,” Steve said, soldering his way into the group standing around him and gently picked him up, bridal style. This just kept getting better and better.
“Why did you have a taser with you in the first place?” he heard Tony ask Darcy as they all fell in line behind him and the Captain.
“There's some sort of teleporting mutant breaking into rich people's homes,” Darcy admitted after a minute. “I wanted to be prepared.”
Tony went off on a diatribe about the security systems in place but Clint wasn't listening and neither, apparently, was Darcy. She came up to walk beside Steve, directly in Clint's line of sight, to give him a sheepish smile. “I really am sorry.”
He made a face but gave a miniscule nod. “It's fine, don't worry about it,” he assured her stiffly. He paused. “We really need to talk about how much you scream at the TV though.”
“But...it's Teen Wolf,” she told him, wide-eyed. “It's practically made to be yelled at.”
“Uh huh,” he agreed skeptically. “Sure it is.”
Two days later, he had to admit, after Darcy broke into his room while he was on forced bed rest and forced him to watch the entire first season, that she may have had a point.
“Told you,” she said smugly when he told her as such after they finished the finale. He grunted and settled back in the bed, Darcy curled around him.
“JARVIS, begin season two.”