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A Drunken Giraffe in a Bowtie

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The Doctor had brought Rose to a fancy dinner party in the future, and he had expected to see some strange people and dancing, but never had he seen any dancing like that. And what was worse, if he was correct…it was a future version of himself doing the dancing.

“One moment, Rose, I have some choice words for that fellow!” The Doctor handed Rose a cup of punch, and then stormed through the dance floor, taking the bow-tied man in tweed by the shoulders, forcing his arms back down from their absurd position. The man flailed and let out a cry of outrage, and then his face went funny, recognizing who had just come at him.

“We. Can’t. Dance.” The ninth Doctor said, glaring at his eleventh self. “You seem to have forgotten this.” The eleventh Doctor gave him an outraged look.

“I had lessons, you big leather-clad buffoon! Oh, I remember being you. Anger and bananas, all the time! Don’t you lecture me about my dancing!” The eleventh Doctor shoved him, and then suddenly beamed at him. “Oh, it’s YOU! I haven’t been you for so very long.” He suddenly grinned, and the ninth Doctor stepped backward, a bit alarmed. “Oh, you’ll get dancing lessons. Just you wait. It’s just after a time with a little kid and a gas mask, ring any bells?”

The ninth Doctor shook his head, absolutely perplexed. “Not yet. I’m sure I’ll get there. Don’t spoil me.”

The eleventh Doctor gave a wry sigh. “Oh, I’ve had enough of spoilers, trust me…you end up meeting a woman with hair full of them.” A new song started up, and the eleventh Doctor grinned at him and started dancing again, looking rather like a drunken giraffe.

“I said not to dance because we’re not good at it - ” the ninth Doctor gave a sigh. “…well, I suppose no one ever made me get rid of that wretched rainbow coat when I was all blonde and aggressive, so there’s probably no persuading him - me.” He turned to the eleventh Doctor, trying to dodge his flailing arms. “Well, it was very nice to meet you! And I’m sure you remember this! Just…tone it down on the dancing, if you can.”

The eleventh Doctor cackled, taking the arm of a woman whose blonde hair was indeed voluptuous enough to contain multiple spoilers. The ninth Doctor goggled at her for a moment, and she winked at him. He tried to process what he just felt and squirmed a bit, deciding he’d rather set his thoughts on Rose for now. The eleventh Doctor waved goodbye to him, looking a bit odd in the face. He would have known Rose was there with him, if he remembered…why wouldn’t have he said hello? But by the time the ninth Doctor could process this, the eleventh Doctor had whirled away with the spoilers-woman into the crowd. The ninth Doctor made his way back to Rose, not sure how to process what had just happened.

“Who was that, Doctor?” Rose handed him a banana daquiri when he got back, and he took it gratefully.

“Just…just a drunken giraffe. A drunken giraffe in a bowtie. And there was a woman whose hair was full of spoilers, and - “

“Doctor, I think you’re a bit drunk.”

The Doctor decided that yes, he probably was.