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How to Introduce Your Girlfriend to Her Future Stepchildren by Loki Laufeyson

Chapter Text

An important step when considering entering into a long term romantic relationship is determining if your intended partner is compatible with the products of your earlier life choices. Though this applies to past war crimes and world domination attempts as well, the most important aspect of this deals with children of past relationships.

Even if you have only partial custody, it is important that your intended be able and comfortable when dealing with your children.

Thus, the first crucial step is determining if said partner suffers from animal related allergies. This can, of course, be done simply by asking, though doing so may spark uncomfortable conversation if addressed too early in the relationship. Round about methods of discovery are therefore recommended.

If no allergies are uncovered, then you need not worry over this step long. However, if this is to be a problem you may suggest medical or magical solutions. Doing so under the guise of wishing to simply be helpful may even be considered “sweet” and an action worth rewarding.


“Loki, why is the apartment filled with dogs?” Darcy started to place her bag in it’s usual place only to have a little black mop of a dog bound up onto the ‘set things here’ chair. “Why?”

“Do you not recognize my brother and his heroic friends?”

“WHAT?” She dropped the purse anyways, dog or no dog. “You are NOT going dark side again. Tell me you are not going dark side again!”

“Oh, this is just a bit of fun, Darcy. A harmless prank in retaliation for comments made concerning my ability to shift forms.” Loki had appeared in the kitchen door way, large bowls in each hand. “It will last only three days at the most.”

“You turned the Avengers into dogs.”

“Temporarily.” He looked far to smug.

“So then why are they in my apartment?”

“Ah.” He set the bowls on the floor and stepped over the resulting swarm of fluffy bodies scrambling to get at the kibbles. He’d just fed the Avengers - and his brother - actual dog food.“In a show of… friendship… I decided it was kinder to keep watch rather than allow them to be moved to… I believe it is called an ounce?”

Darcy sank onto her now fur covered couch. “Seriously. They’re here so they aren’t at the pound? Why couldn’t you just give them to Fury and be done with it?”

Loki was silent but she followed his gaze to the large one eyed rottweiler.