You didn’t think you’d ever meet him, and even if you did you thought you’d rage black at him. And you start to, but than a dark flush across his face and he smiles timidly at you. You know all the signs of flush crush and all of them are rolling off of him in your direction. He opens his mouth to speak to you, but you cut him off.
“Don’t you even start with me.” He blinks at you taking a step back. He actually looks hurt, you doubt anybody else notices it, but you do. How could you not? Who knows you better than you? “Fuck you.” Everybody looks at you with varying looks of shock, you turn and stomp away.
You hide away in your respiteblock and gorge yourself on human junk foodstuffs while watching romcoms. You don’t see hide nor hair of anybody for days which is all the better for making you forget about that shitstain who dared to look at you like that.
After days of hiding off in your room you finally decide that your stomach hurt enough for you to venture out and find some real food, but he’s standing at there beside your teleportation pad. He gives you a scared look like he doesn't know what to do. He looks so unsure of himself that you want to punch him.
You brush by him as he starts to talk, he may look like you, but he's nothing like you. You hate alternate timelines, they're usually so different from yours that even the youes from them are different and they make your flaws stand out even more.
But this you, you hate him more than any of the youes you've met before. He's so shy and timid and you can't stand to see that look on his face, on your face. It makes you sick.
The more time they (you, a Kanaya, and a Sollux) spend here the more you realize that YOUR friends like HIM more. When they realize it's you they always look disappointed.
"Sorry I'm not good enough for you." you finally tell Sollux, your Sollux, one day. "Forgive me for not being him and allow me to remove myself from your presence." You stand and bolt from the room.
He comes after you but you don't dare stop. You have a head start on him and you're not going to stop for anything. But of course that douchebag has to appear on the pad you're about to use and he throws you back.
"I'm so sorry."
Before you even realize what you're doing you've lunged at him. Your fist makes contact with his face and lime blood pours from his nose. You freeze and staring up at you accusingly, Sollux is standing a couple feet away ready to intervene if he has too.
As you stare at the blood now coating your hand, you snap and lay into him. Sollux has to use his psisonics to pull you off of him. "IT'S NOT FAIR!" you're screaming trying to fight against the psisonics that are holding you back. His Kanaya has already swooped in to take him away and doctor him. "I FUCKING HATE YOU!"
Sollux finally lets you down when the two of them are long gone. You tremble with anger and tears stream down your cheeks.
"KK..." you can hear the pity in his voice and it makes you cringe. He's pale on you right now because
you're so fucking pitiful. You wonder if he doesn't feel the same way about the other version of himself.
"It's not fair." your voice shakes and you look everywhere but at him.
"KK..." he picks you up with his psisonics and sets you on your feet he wraps his hand around yours and he pulls you off for feelings jam in the pile of tangles wires and fluffy head holding sleep rectangles in his respites block.
And he actually listens to you rant and whips away the tears, and doesn't make any of his normal comments. Long after you've ranted yourself horse and the two of you are still curled together you just listening to his blood pusher and he's trailing his fingers through your hair does he start. He tells you how he feels about you, the other you, and the other him.
He tells you so many things that you didn't really believe him capable of feeling, about you about himself about his place in the universe, and you really feel better about your situation.
But that doesn't stop you from hiding away as soon as the two of you part. You lose yourself in the twists and turns of the halls and hide in a room far from everybody. You curl up in a pile of blankets fluffy head holding sleep rectangles and lay there. You should have figured that your such a fuck up that nobody outside of yourself would ever pity you enough to flush for you.
“Karkat?” The hesitant voice floats through the room and you cringe.
“You are the last person I want to see.” You pull the blanket closer to yourself and roll over as his footsteps come closer.
“Why do you hate me so much?” He reaches out and touches you. You give him a warning growl and his hand retracts. “What did I ever do to you to deserve this?”
You sit up and glare at him, “You dared to be flushed for me.” You move and jump in him and he falls back. “You who are better than me in every way. Do me a favor and go jump off the meteor.” You pull the blanket back over your head as you lay down.
“I’m sorry…” He doesn’t make to leave he just sits there and it pisses you off even more.
You let out a growl and turn and face him, “Why me?”
“Why you what?”
“Why do you pity me?”
He just looks away from you.
“Is it just me?”
“It is.” He looks up at you his eyes half lidded. “You are alpha Karkat.” He leans forward and presses his lips against yours. You shove him away.
“I hate you. Don’t fucking do that.” You shove him away. He looks hurt and you just sneer at him. “I can’t believe you actually expected to return your feelings.”
“Then why me? Could you not find anybody else to pity you so you started pitying yourself?”
“You say mean things to try and make yourself feel better.” He meets your eyes. “You’ll like it.”
He cups your face and you glare at him, “Let me prove it to you. If you really don’t like it, I won’t bring it up again.” When you don’t attack him he pushes you back into the pile and presses his mouth against yours. Every one of his movements are soft and gentle and you manage to match them even though you want to tear him apart.
When everything is said and done you have to admit to yourself that it wasn’t that bad, but you’re still pretty black for him.