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Five Times Jack Accidentally Proposes Marriage to the Doctor and the One Time He Really Did

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~~1~~

The natives of this planet, whom they've just had a delightful dinner with, are now attempting to stab them with very sharp spears.

Jack grabs the Doctor's pale hand and screams, "Run!"

The Doctor somehow seems reluctant, and tries to ungrasp their hands. "Wait, Jack! Wait! Stop!"

"Why?" Jack cries. "Can't you see they're trying to kill us?!" He briefly turns back to see the position of their new found enemies, but is surprised to find that they hadn't budged an itch and are now cheering.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you!" The Doctor finally releases his hand from Jack's hold. "You just proposed marriage to me!"

Jack blushes. "What? No, I didn't…"

"Yes," The Doctor huffs, straightening his tweed suit. "You did. In their culture running away from a group after dinner means you've just proposed to me."

"But that's ridiculous!"

The Doctor pointed to the natives. "Tell that to them."

Jack looked to see the anxious people. "Sorry false alarm!" He cries. An audible cry of disappointment is heard from natives.

~~2~~

Jack is incredibly drunk. He hasn't gotten this drunk since he was at the Time Agency. Even the Doctor, who reputed to have never sipped alcohol in all of his lives, was pretty tipsy as well. This has to be the best vodka in the entire Andromeda galaxy.

They weren't getting drunk for getting drunk's sake. This was a happy occasion. He and the Doctor happened to land on some planet, he forgets the name of it now, when a royal wedding was taking place. A special royal wedding at that, it was the planet's first royal gay wedding, according to the Doctor.

Jack finds the Doctor sipping on some vodka and chatting with the new Prince. On his way to his friend, he picks up a crown of flowers that someone had discarded. He smells the flowers, they're still fresh. When the Doctor notices his approach he giggles into his drink and waves.

Jack smiles as he bows low before the Doctor. Everyone watches closely as he places the crown of flowers on the Doctor's head and kisses his lips.

The crowd around them cheers and applauds, Jack joins in, gleeful.

In all seriousness, the Doctor says, "You know you just proposed to me again, don't you?"

~~3~~

Jack holds his weeping friend tightly in his arms. He had been awakened by the sound of the Doctor's screams. When Jack burst into the Doctor's bedroom, the Time Lord was sobbing and rocking back and forth on the ground. From what he gathers the Doctor had a recurring nightmare about the Master. Jack knows what that is like. He also knows that the Doctor cannot keep running away from his nightmares. That's why he'll do whatever he can to help him.

Jack kisses the Doctor's brow. "You okay?"

"Maybe." He heaves. "I'm hungry."

"Do you want something to eat? I could get you a fish fingers sandwich?"

"Yes and no." The Doctor smiled, standing up. "Yes to the fish fingers sandwich, no to the marriage proposal." He seems absurdly cheerful now. "You really need to read some cultural books, Jack. What does that make it? Three times you've accidentally proposed to me?"

~~4~~

Jack is waiting in a filthy jail cell wearing nothing but a thin towel to cover his lower half. He doesn't mind being mostly nude, but he's anxious to see the Doctor again.

He finally stops pacing when his jailer mutters something and unlocks the door. "You're free to go. Someone paid bail."

Jack smiles at the jailer and is face-to-face with a certain angry Time Lord.

"Do you understand what you have done?"

Jack shrugs. "I streaked across a football field?" Why did he have a feeling it was more than that?

"Nope!" The Doctor pops the 'p'. "You literally just proposed marriage to about 50,000 people."

~~5~~

They are sitting at the biggest library in the universe. The Doctor is engrossed in some novel that he won't let Jack see the cover of. Jack is actually bored. Libraries have never been his thing. Unless he was on a date and his date was interesting in getting to know him better in near the science of sex books. Sadly, the Doctor didn't seem too interested in that.

"Hey Doc, when can we go?"

The Doctor glances up. "Excuse me?"

The purple-skinned woman sitting two seats down is smiling excitedly at them. "Oh, I can't believe I got to witness this great moment!" She is practically bouncing. "Congratulations! When's the big day?"

"What?" Jack laughed nervously. "What are you talking about?"

The Doctor pinched his brow. "Jack, do you realize what you've done? Again?"

Jack waved his hands back and forth. "Oh no. No I didn—"

"Yes. You just proposed to me for the fifth time." He gestured to the woman. "She's a Draxen. You can tell by her purple skin, short stature and the rather large nose, no offense." He gave her a great smile. "And in her language, on her planet, the word 'Doc' is basically a marriage proposal." The Doctor frowns and concentrates on his slim book once more. "Since you didn't mean it again, my answer is no."

Jack stares at the Doctor wondering why he seems so hurt this time…

~~1~~

They are fighting for their lives… again. It's one of those great 'we're saving the entire universe and there is a huge chance we are going to die' battles. They're in 5th century Rome fighting against the Silurians who wanted control back from Earth.

Honestly, Jack isn't sure how they are going to get out of this one. Most of their recruits have perished, they're outnumbered 5 to 1, and their bunker is about two seconds away from being completely destroyed.

He figures this is as good a time as any.

"We need to evacuate now!" The Doctor screams above all the noise. His clothes are tattered, his bow tie has come undone. "We have to go to our east bunker!"

He grabs hold of the Doctor's arm and squeezes. "Doc, will you marry me?"

"What?!"

Jack takes out something that has been in his pocket all day, a simple diamond ring. "Will you marry me?"

He watches as the Doctor's eyes widen and his clasps his hands over his mouth. He nods and hugs Jack. "I love you, Captain Jack. I've been waiting for you to properly ask me for a long time." He smiles brightly. "Give the ring to me later. Right now, we have a world to save!"