“You can cook.“
John stared at the chaos in the kitchen that for once was not experiment but food related. Whatever Sherlock had put in the oven smelled delicious.
“Of course I can cook. It’s basic chemistry. Simple. Boring. I therefore choose to spend my time with more interesting things.”
“Mh, like fungi under the sink. Or a dead sheep on the sofa.”
“That was months ago. When will you get over the sheep?”
“Probably never. As I will never get the scorpions in my bed. Or you doing your ridiculous experiment on pickup lines with Lestrade.”
“I agree that the last one was a failure.”
“A failure... Greg nearly had a nervous breakdown when he thought you were flirting with him.”
“Just because he couldn’t handle it.”
“I don’t think anyone could handle it if you decided to flirt in earnest. It’s a disturbing thought.”
“Maybe. But you never actually flirted with me.”
“Do you want me to?”
Sherlock looked mildly put out and John tried desperately to get back on safe ground.
After a while he stopped babbling. “You enjoy seeing me squirm, don’t you?”
“Yes. Also, why would I need to flirt with you? I’m already shagging you.”
John grinned. “I always knew that there’s a hopeless romantic hiding behind that brain...”