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Louis recalls the day the doctor had told him that the extra gene that men tended to carry in the 51st century was dormant and that he wouldn’t be able to bear children, ever.
At first, he hadn’t known how to feel about that.
It wasn’t like he knew at the time whether or not he wanted kids, but to be told he wouldn’t be able to have children was something that slightly took a toll on him later in life, especially after he’d met Harry, his boyfriend.
They’d never really discussed the topic of children though, and the longer they’d been together (4 years now) the more he felt like Harry was the one. And because he felt like that, he could most definitely see himself starting a family with Harry becoming a father to one of his children.
But that wasn’t going to happen.
At least that’s what he’d thought.
Louis is currently sitting in his car, parked in the driveway in front of his house, the one he shares with Harry. As much as he wants to go in, he’s currently debating on whether or not he should high tail it out of there and it’s not that he doesn’t love his boyfriend anymore, because he does, very much so and with all of his heart, but he’s got news and he doesn’t know how to tell the other man.
Thinking back on it, Louis could laugh at how cliché it sounded. Both he and Harry thought he’d had a stomach bug, but when the nausea wouldn’t go away, his boyfriend had told him to go see a doctor. Louis, being the stubborn male he was, put it off because he really hadn’t wanted to go to the doctor and possibly find that he had something much worse than just the flu.
Though instead of finding a virus, the doctor had found something completely different.
He had a thing growing in his stomach.
No, not a thing.
A baby.
Growing in his stomach… okay, technically not in his stomach, but in that general vicinity.
Louis leans back against the headrest of the car and groans.
It’s not like he meant to get pregnant (he was told he couldn’t and he believed it, so much for bloody doctors) and while it’s normal for men to bear children now (he shudders, glad he hadn’t been born in the early years of earth), he’d thought Harry would’ve been the one to have their child.
Well, that is if Harry wanted a kid.
And that’s why he’s hesitant to go into his home. He’s slightly worried about the other male’s reaction and while he knows that Harry tends to take things very well, this isn’t going to be something that would go away in a few days.
No, in fact, a baby is something that’s much more long term. Eighteen years to be exact. And well, no one wants a surprise baby. Not even Louis.
He sighs and opens the car door and makes his way into the house. He can hear Harry in the kitchen, rattling around, most likely cooking lunch. He takes his time walking to the room, running different scenarios in his head on how Harry will react, something he’d done the minute he stepped out of the doctor’s office, but he knows that no matter what, Harry’s reaction will be different than anything he can mentally come up with. And maybe it’s presumptuous of him to think of the way his boyfriend will react without actually telling him first, but he’s not exactly sure how to react to the news himself.
They’re going to be parents.
He feels like he’s going to faint, but he can’t be bothered to do so because he knows that Harry will hear that and he’s already caused the other man too much worry for his liking and…
Oh god, he’s panicking.
“Lou?”
He snaps his head up and looks at Harry, who’s stopped what he’s doing to look at him.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” His voice is full of concern which only makes Louis feel even guiltier and when Harry walks over to him, he grabs his hand and holds on tightly, needing Harry’s touch to stabilize his inner panicked thoughts.
“I’ve got news.” Louis looks down at his feet but tugs on Harry’s hand so that he’ll follow him over to the couch. When they sit, Louis curls up next his boyfriend and doesn’t bother looking at the other male until Harry lays a hand on his shoulder in order to grab his attention.
“Yeah?” Harry whispers, and Louis feels bad for making him think the worst.
“I’m not dying or anything, Haz.”
Harry only half smiles. “That’s good.”
Louis only nods. He sits there, contemplating the best way to say what he needs to say, but he figures the only thing that’ll work is if he just flat out tells Harry what the hell’s going on.
Louis moves so that his head is lying in Harry’s lap and he’s looking up at the other man. Harry’s got his fingers running through his hair now, obviously aware of Louis’s internal struggle but not exactly knowing the finer details.
“It’s alright,” Harry says. He’s looking down at Louis with the most caring look on his face and Louis wants to cry.
He reaches out for Harry’s free hand, the one not playing with his hair, and takes it in his own before he moves both of their hands to rest against his stomach. Harry’s gone curious now, looking at their hands and then back at his boyfriend’s face and he can slowly see the different emotions that come across it.
Louis waits though. He waits for it to sink in and he doesn’t say a word because he’s not quite sure if he can speak yet himself and Harry hasn’t gotten angry yet… well, he hasn’t had any sort of reaction really and now Louis is starting to feel worried.
“H-haz?” His voice gets caught in his throat and he removes his hand from his stomach to cup Harry’s face and stroke it with delicate fingers. The other man snaps his gaze down to look at him, and Louis can see that his eyes are slightly wet. “Harry, I’m sorry. I-“
“What?” Harry cuts him off and tilts his head. He looks back at Louis’s stomach where his hand still rests and he pulls the shirt up so that he can lay it directly on Louis’s skin. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Lou.”
And it’s then that Louis can feel Harry’s hand, petting his stomach, running his fingers over it slightly and he bristles at the contact. It feels nice, Harry’s warm hand against his belly and he feels a rush of emotions the doctor had said he’d probably get every once in awhile because of the extra hormones.
“You’re sure about this, Harry?” Louis’s still looking at Harry for any sort of negative reaction, but he doesn’t find one. “You want this with me?”
And as soon as he’s asked that, Harry’s staring at him like he’s gone crazy.
“Louis, I want everything with you, and while I hadn’t expected this, I think I could use to it.” Harry’s full on grinning now and Louis’s just pleased that his boyfriend hadn’t reacted badly.
But that was Harry, always taking things in stride and seeing the good in everything. And while Louis hopes that this experience turns out wonderful, he’s not quite sure if Harry knows what he’s getting himself into. Hell, he doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into either.
“Did you,” Harry stops and Louis looks at him and there’s a certain amount of concern on his face and for a moment he thinks Harry’s had a sudden change of heart but then he’s speaking again, “I mean, do you not want it?”
And that makes him tense up.
“What?” he asks. He furrows his brows and sits up so that he can move closer to Harry.
“Well, I mean, you don’t seem excit-” and Louis cuts him off with a kiss.
When he pulls back, he sees that Harry has visibly relaxed but the growing excitement he’d had has diminished somewhat and Louis needs to correct that immediately because if Harry’s happy with this unforeseen outcome, he can now rest easy knowing that his boyfriend is perfectly okay with the idea of a child.
Definitely not an idea anymore.
It’d be a reality soon enough.
Louis breathes in deeply before he smiles at his boyfriend. “I didn’t know what to think at first, and I wasn’t sure how you’d take it, but,” he stops, trying to gather his thoughts, “if we’re going to do this – be parents, I mean – then there’s no one I’d rather do it with than you.”
Harry’s face lights up at that and they spend the rest of their day together, both getting use to the idea of the sound of little feet running around the house.
x.x.x.x
Although Louis’s slept for most of the day, he feels better now that he’s up and he decides it’s as good a time as any to go visit Harry at work. Normally he doesn’t, figuring he’d end up bothering the other man while he’s baking and trying his best to fill orders for customers, but he’s actually craving a bit of a sweet and he’s really got his mind set on it and both of them know that when Louis is determined, he usually gets what he wants.
When he walks into the shop, it’s busy and Louis takes a seat in the corner of the room and waits until the line has slowed down. He can see Harry taking people’s orders and removing the treats form the glass case to give to the customer. Some order more than their fair share and the pastries end up in a light blue box (the theme of the entire bakery) so that it’s easier for them to take home.
Harry’s got a smile on his face when talking to everyone. Most of the customers that come in know him by name, and he knows theirs in return. The people in the city are loyal and nice and Louis’s glad that they’ve chosen a town with a friendly atmosphere to settle down in.
Fifteen minutes go by before the bakery is slow enough for Louis to wait in line and when he gets to the front, Harry’s busy writing down an order and Louis waits for him to look up and notice him. When he does, a smile breaks out onto Harry’s face and he calls out to one of the other employees, Jenna, that he’s taking a break before he motions for Louis to come ‘round the counter to follow him into one of the break rooms so they can chat.
“What are you doing here?” Harry asks.
Louis sits at one of the tables in the room and looks up sheepishly. “I was kinda hoping for something sweet, like a donut.” He pauses and scrunches up his face and shakes his head, “No, no not a donut, cake! Chocolate cake sounds wonderful.”
Louis’s grinning now and he looks up at Harry with wide, hopeful eyes. Harry only chuckles before he’s stating he’ll be right back, and soon enough he’s walking in with a huge slice of cake and Louis feels absolutely amazing.
“Iffs guhd,” he says around a mouthful of the desert. He really knows he shouldn’t be eating it, already gaining a little pudge of a belly only after three months, but Harry actually finds it quite adorable and he’s willing to do anything to make sure Louis and the baby are happy.
“Lou, slow down. It’s not going anywhere.” He reaches out to take the plate so that Louis will swallow down what he’s got in his mouth first before he takes another bite, but the other male smacks his hands in a dramatic effort to save his piece of cake.
Harry sighs, but it’s all in good fun and as much as he wishes he could stay back here with Louis, he can’t. “I’ve got to get back to work. Someone decided to order three cakes and I’ve got to get them done before tonight.” Harry stands and although Louis’s looking at him like he doesn’t want him to leave, he leans down for a kiss before he’s off making a cake for a family that probably don’t need it in the first place.
x.x.x.x
Harry’s at work and Louis’s got nothing to do and he finds himself in the same predicament he was in just a few days prior, only this time Harry had managed to bring him home a couple of sweets so that he wouldn’t have to journey all the wait out to the shop.
At first, Louis had been offended by that, claiming Harry didn’t want to him see anymore because he was a bother, and while Harry had been surprised by Louis’s sudden outburst, he tried to rectify the situation by soothing Louis with words. And it wasn’t long after that, when Louis had calmed down, that he’d apologized to his boyfriend, claiming he had no idea what was wrong with him and why he’d ever say something like that to begin with.
They both concluded that it was the hormones.
He’s busy munching on chocolate covered strawberries when he feels the first pang in his stomach. It’s only a sharp little feeling and he shrugs it off.
Later in the day he feels the second little twist in his gut when he’s busy in the garden, ripping out weeds and while there’s a slight twinge of worry within him, he casts it off again as nothing out of the ordinary.
But it’s the third time when he notices that something is really dreadfully wrong.
Harry’s just come home and is busy taking a shower while Louis’s in the kitchen preparing everything for Harry to cook (he doesn’t go anywhere near the stove because of the one time he almost burnt the house down) when he feels something burning within him and then pain takes over his abdomen. He’s got his fist curled around the edge of the counter and he cries out because it just hurts .
He makes a move to sit on the floor, curling an arm around himself, wondering what the hell is happening to him.
It’s then that Harry decides to show up, fresh out of the shower and calling out for Louis, but he can’t find it in himself to call back. So when Harry walks into the kitchen and spots his boyfriend sitting up against the counter with an arm wrapped protectively around his stomach, he grows concerned and makes a mad dash to get to Louis.
“Lou?” he asks. His voice is hesitant, Louis notes, and he can see that Harry’s trying hard not to reach out for him because he knows that Harry wants to, but he also doesn’t want to cause Louis any more pain than he’s already feeling. And as soon as Harry finally decides to touch him, Louis removes his arm from his stomach and that’s when he notices the blood covering the lower half of his body.
And there’s more than there should be.
Harry tries his best to stay calm and he doesn’t know how he managed to do it, but he grabs a hold of Louis and takes him out to the car so they can get him to the ER.
On the way there, Louis passes out and Harry doesn’t know whether it’s because of the pain he might be feeling or the lack of blood, but all Harry knows is that he’s frightened for Louis and for the baby.
Their baby.
The one that Harry knows most likely won’t make it.
x.x.x.x
Harry’s in the waiting room by himself. When he’d walked through the ER doors, they’d immediately taken Louis back and told him to wait while they took care of his boyfriend.
His worry is growing, and Harry’s scared and alone and he’s called his friends as soon as they’d taken Louis and he’s not sure what he can do.
No, he knows he can’t do anything at all and he feels helpless and he hates that feeling.
“Harry,” a voice calls out, and the younger man looks up and finds that his friends are in the doorway.
“Liam,” Harry says. His voice cracks and he’s out of his seat before any of them can blink. He almost knocks Liam off his feet, but the other man manages to catch him and holds him close. Harry cries into the crook of his neck, feeling small and powerless.
He cries for Louis, he cries for himself and he cries for their baby that they may never know. There’s a small part of him that still believes that it survived and he wants to hold out as much hope as possible, but he knows the reality of the situation, and he realizes that Louis will be devastated. Louis, whose love for the baby had flourished over the past three months, having gotten used to the idea of having a baby in the first place.
And so he cries, full out sobs, soaking Liam’s shirt and clutching the fabric, not wanting to let go of his friend who’s become the rock in this situation despite the fact that in the end, this won’t be his battle he’ll have to overcome.
It’ll be Harry and Louis’s.
And Harry’s not sure they’ll ever be the same people they were only a few days ago. Things would be changing and Harry’s not sure he’s ready for it.
x.x.x.x
When the doctor first comes out, Zayn’s the only one awake. Niall, Liam and Harry are curled around one another on the floor and while it looks uncomfortable, he wishes he could be down there with them, not wanting to hear the news the doctor has.
He wakes Harry up gentle and when the younger man blinks up at him, he motions towards the doctor. When Harry sees the man in the white coat, he stands up, rushing to the doctor to confirm what he already knows deep down.
“Louis is fine,” he says. “But I’m sorry to inform you that he’s had a miscarriage. It’s common in men, just as it is in women, and I need you to know that it wasn’t your fault nor was it Louis’s.”
Harry’s nodding, but he can’t speak.
“He’s sleeping right now, but you can go in and see him. He doesn’t know yet, but it’ll be the first thing he asks when he wakes up.”
The doctor leaves after he’s told Harry what room Louis is in and he finds that he can’t move from the spot he’s standing in, because if he does, he’ll be accepting this reality, and he doesn’t want to. This is the complete opposite of what he wants, but he knows he’s going to have to face it, for Louis’s sake if nothing else, because he’ll take it the worse. And Harry knows he’s going to have to be strong.
“Come on, Harry.”
Liam’s standing beside him now, urging his friend to go find Louis.
x.x.x.x
His boyfriend is asleep when he enters the room. He looks pale and small laying in the huge hospital bed, wrapped up in a gown and thin sheets. Harry moves to the side of the room, taking a chair from against the wall to move it directly next to the bed so he can be closer to Louis.
Carefully, he takes one of Louis’s hands and intertwines it with his, needing to feel that the man before him is still alive and breathing and not just a figment of his imagination. It startles Louis though, and Harry winces when he realizes that Louis’s blinking and opening his eyes. They land on him and while he looks a bit confused, Louis takes it all in and realizes where he is.
“Harry,” he begins, but stops and rapidly moves his hands to his stomach and clutches the blanket lying on top of him.
Harry’s eyes water and he grips Louis’s hand, bringing his gaze back up to Louis's so that he can tell him what’s happened.
But apparently Louis knows too because in a moment he’s shaking his head and muttering no under his breath repeatedly and Harry tries to hang on, to keep Louis’s gaze focused on his. So he sits up and rests his forehead against Louis’s while holding his face in his hands in an attempt keep their eyes trained on one another.
“I’m sorry, love,” he whispers.
They hold one another until Louis calms down and falls asleep again, wore out from the hurt in his heart. Harry feels it too; it’s drilling away at him, digging a hole so big he’s not sure if anything will ever mend it.
x.x.x.x
It’s been about a month since Louis had been released form the hospital and things have yet to get better. Louis doesn’t expect that it will for a long while yet because a sudden depression has taken over him and all he does now is lie in bed all day, not bothering to get up unless it’s to use the bathroom.
He knows his health is depleting from the hollowness he feels and the lack of eating he does. Harry’s the only one who’s able to get him to eat and even then, he has to force him to do so.
Louis knows he’s hurting Harry, but he can’t bring himself to care and that scares him because he remembers when he did care, when they had an abundance of love and they showed it every day.
And now it felt like it was withering away and although it’d only been a month, Louis can’t imagine not feeling the way he does now for the rest of his life. He doesn’t want to be a masochist and continue on the path he’s on now, but the loss of something so dear to him, even without having actually known it personally, has hit him harder than he thought possible.
And there’s a part of him that’s jealous of Harry, jealous that he’s been able to move on so quickly. And while his rationality has told him that it’s ridiculous to think Harry’s okay only after a month, the only thing he sees of Harry now is when he leaves for work and comes back home.
They don’t talk; they don’t hold one another and Louis really has no idea how Harry’s dealing with it all.
x.x.x.x
It’s been four months now and Harry’s not sure if that’s a normal amount of time to mourn something he had never known. But when he asks himself that, he feels guilty because Louis still hasn’t dealt with it and it makes him think that he should be in a ball, curled up crying.
But he doesn’t feel like that and it’s not like he hasn’t cried and wept for his child. Because he has and he still continues to feel the loss but he also feels like he’s on the road to recovery too, leaving Louis behind and he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to leave Louis where he’s at because emotionally, Louis needs to deal with this and Harry refuses to get better, to come to terms with what’s happened.
He loves Louis and he wants this to work.
He decides they’re going to talk that night whether Louis wants to or not.
x.x.x.x
“Lou?” Harry calls out. He’s just got home from work and he hopes that he can find his boyfriend awake enough to listen to him.
“In here,” his voice calls out. Harry finds him in the living room, absentmindedly flicking through the channels on the tv, not really paying attention to the thing. He moves over to grab the changer and turns the television off before sitting down next to Louis.
The other man is dressed in sweats and a t-shirt; his hair has grown out, longer than what he likes and he’s even sporting the makings of a beard.
“Louis,” Harry starts, and he tries to move his hand to touch him, but the other man flinches.
“Don’t,” he says.
“Louis, come one, we’ve got to talk.”
He shakes his head, “No.”
“Louis,” Harry protests, his voice hardening. Blue eyes meet his and he breathes in a sigh. “Lou we need to –”
“No, we don’t Harry. It’s pretty clear that you’re okay. You can leave me be now.”
Harry’s got no idea what he’s talking about. “What are you saying?”
“I get that you’ve moved on –”
“Moved on?” Harry asks. “You think I’ve moved on?” He furrows his brows. “Lou, how could you think that?”
“I’ve seen you, Harry. You go about your day as if nothing’s happened, like it doesn’t matter.”
Harry can feel anger inside him now, anger that Louis would think, would say such a thing. But it’s gone the moment he feels it because no wonder Louis thinks of him so horribly. He knows he hadn’t exactly made the effort in helping Louis deal with what he’s been through, but he thought he needed some space, and while four months was a lot of space, Harry figured Louis would’ve come to him on his own time. How wrong he’d been. Maybe it was denial. Harry wasn’t fully over what happened either, but there was a part of him that believed Louis would suddenly wake up one day and be ready to talk to him. Clearly, he was mistaken.
“Louis, I don’t get up in the morning and skip my way into work because I’ve moved on or because I’ve gotten over it.” Harry makes sure Louis is looking at him. He needs the other male to know exactly how he’s feeling and the mistake of not talking is now really taking a toll on their relationship and he knows his actions had been wrong from the get-go. He should’ve taken a few days off work; he should’ve stayed by Louis’s side and they both should’ve spoke through the pain.
They’d done it before, had plenty of arguments and Harry recalls those moments, when both of them had actually sat down and explained their side of things so that all of it was out in the open and they could figure out where to go from there. So why was this any different? The only differentiating factor was that this time, it was neither of their faults. No one was to blame for the situation they were in now because it was an act of god.
And in that moment a grave awareness takes over him and he feels like an idiot for not realizing it before. The doctor had even warned him about it too.
And I need you to know that it wasn’t your fault nor was it Louis’s.
Harry feels the guilt eat him up, swallow him whole and spit him out, because Louis thinks this is his fault.
Regardless of whether Louis believed Harry was doing okay or not, it’d taken a toll on Louis more than Harry had realized and everything the past couple of weeks, months clicked into place; the way Louis had distanced himself, chose not to speak about anything that was bothering him and the way he shied away from Harry because he thought his boyfriend had blamed him and moved on without him.
“Oh god, Lou, is that what you thought? You thought I hated you?” Harry’s staring at him with wide eyes and he feels the ground sink and his stomach hollow and he wants to cry. “You thought I blamed you, that it was your fault?”
Harry notices the way the other man curls into himself a little more, ashamed at being exposed and Harry can only feel his heart give out before he reaches for his boyfriend and wraps him in a hug so tight, he’d fight with Louis if he tried to pull back.
Louis’s crying now, he can feel the tears soak his shirt, which only leads to Harry crying too until they’re both lost in something that should’ve happened awhile ago.
“I’m so sorry, Haz,” Louis murmurs.
“Don’t,” Harry says back. “Don’t apologize. We’ve both been doing things wrong all this time, and none of it was your fault.”
They sit in silence for awhile, just holding one another because really, that’s all they needed from the beginning. Even if it wasn’t full on talking about their feelings, they could at least take comfort in each other's embrace.
“Are we going to be able to fix this?” Louis questions. They’re both lying down on the couch now, pressed together so closely and Louis realizes he’s missed this. Missed Harry, missed them .
“Us?” Harry inquires. He can feel Louis nod his head. “Yeah, yeah I think we can.”
x.x.x.x
They’re in bed curled up next to one another and Louis briefly smiles at the way Harry looks. His curls frame his face and make him look childlike again. Louis thinks he looks beautiful.
“I know we can’t have a proper funeral or anything,” Louis begins, breaking the silence. Harry’s watching him with close eyes. Their relationship is still rocky and they both know they have a long way to go, but Louis is here, he’s conscious and aware and leaning on Harry, just as Harry is doing the same with him.
“You want to do something?” Harry’s voice is soft despite the fact that it’s deeper than Louis’s.
He nods, “Yeah. I don’t know what though.”
“It’s alright. We’ll find something.” Harry takes Louis’s hand and kisses it softly.
“Yeah?” he asks. It’s something that’s already been confirmed by Harry, but he wants to make sure that he’s okay with it.
“Yeah.”
x.x.x.x
Harry comes home from work one day to find Louis in the kitchen cooking.
He’s thoroughly shocked.
“Lou, what are you doing?” The man in question jumps at Harry’s unexpected voice, but chuckles when he glances at Harry who can’t decide if he’s in awe or should be nervous.
“I’m cooking dinner for us,” he replies.
“You’re cooking?” Harry raises an eyebrow and he knows that Louis’s just told him what he’s doing, but Louis never cooks and while he thinks it’s nice, he’s slightly scared of the possibility of him burning down the house.
“Yes, Haz,” he laughs. “I made sure I was careful this time. Especially with the stove.” He winks at his boyfriend before turning back to the food in front of him.
“Smells good.” Harry walks up behind Louis and wraps his arms around the other man’s waist.
“Hope it tastes just as good then.”
Harry places a kiss to Louis’s neck before he grabs the plates and silverware to the table, helping Louis out since he’s made the food and soon enough they’re at the table eating. He’s made spaghetti and while it’s not made from scratch, it’s still nice. The garlic bread is a little burnt though, but Louis only smiles at the teasing.
“Thank you,” Harry states.
Louis only shrugs and Harry hates that he’s not taking his regards. “It’s the least I could do, Harry.”
“Maybe, but the fact that you tried makes it all the more special. And, well, I was going to wait for the right time to give you this.” Harry moves from his seat and motions that he’s going to retrieve something from the other room. Louis’s curious but makes no move to get up and follow him.
When Harry’s back in the kitchen, he’s got something in his hands. It’s a long velvet box, the kind jewelry is put in and he’s interested to know what Harry’s got.
“As I was saying,” he sits down, clears his throat and hands the box to Louis, “I wasn’t sure when the right moment would’ve been to give you this, but I figure now it’s as good a time as any.”
Louis’s not quite sure what to make of it or what to say in response. Instead, he opens the box and inside he finds two silver chains. They’re necklaces, of course but there’s a small pendant hanging from each one with a date inscribed on the metal. And Louis realizes exactly what this is.
He hates being emotional, especially after the past couple of months, but this has got him worked up and the only thing he knows to do is set down the box and stare at it. He can feel Harry’s green eyes on him and he glances up. His boyfriend looks fearful, like he’d done something wrong and that there’s a possibility that he might’ve set Louis off, but he reaches for Harry’s hand and squeezes it.
“It’s perfect,” Louis reveals. He looks at Harry, really looks at him and notices the worry lines around his eyes, the way his forehead is crinkled in concern and the way his mouth is trying to make sense of what to do with itself. And then he notices the way it changes. It’s slow at first; edges of his mouth quirk upwards and his brow smoothes out, relaxed, and then his eyes change. They’re slightly wet with unshed tears and while they look worn from the emotional roller coaster each of them has been on, they show concern and love, all wrapped into one and the best thing about it is that it’s for him.
It’s for Louis, and no one else.
He moves to kiss Harry, wraps a hand around the male while lacing his fingers in his hair to bring him even closer to him.
Harry can feel everything, all from that one kiss. The way Louis’s apologizing, the way he’s giving him his thanks and the silent we’ll get through this together .
It makes his heart race and he’s positive that they’ll be okay.
They sleep together for the first time in months, Harry showing Louis just how much he loves him and Louis doing the same in return.