January 28, 1945,
It scared me, I never thought I would ever see such a sight like that. As I turned around I saw the havoc, the mayhem that was happening around me but none of that mattered. Blood splattered onto my face, my clothes, in my hair. I didn’t care. A man died next to me, I didn’t even see him. All I could see was the blond before me, lying on the ground, blood splattered over the right side of his body. His right arm was severed, his leg broken in two. Ludwig Beilschmidt was falling apart and I could do nothing to save him.
January 25, 1946,
It’s been nearly a year now since that fateful day, the day that Ludwig fell into such a deep depression. It was scary, seeing him like that. The Ludwig I knew was caring, though a bit scary at times, he worried about me, cared for me. He was stern and honest, he never told a lie and never thrashed about when angry. I watched him grow, as a human and as a country. Now Ludwig, no Germany, was suffering, and again, I could do nothing about it.
March 29, 1946,
Ludwig threw himself into a depression, one that even I couldn’t get him out of. He wouldn’t eat, he barely slept and the only noises out of his mouth were shallow breaths to accompany his dying body. His cheeks and eyes had sunken in, revealing his facial structure ever so clearly. It was unhealthy, I’m scared, I don’t want to lose him.
-Gilbert, Ludwig’s brother did everything he could. He got Prussia to help rebuild Germany, and he paid for Ludwig’s prosthetics. Gilbert was the epitome of a selfless older brother, but his deeds did nothing to lighten Ludwig’s spirits. If he kept on this way Ludwig wasn’t going to survive the winter. His people needed him, and he needed himself more than anything.
-I don’t know what to do, not anymore. I don’t want him to die, yet yesterday he nearly quit breathing. I had to urge him to keep himself alive, that I needed him here. That managed to do the trick, but how much longer will it last? How much longer will Ludwig suffer before finally just putting a stop to it all? When will he die? How long do I have left with the man that I found so strong at one point? How much longer until I stop living because he dies…
December 19, 1946,
It’s winter now, he seems to be doing a lot better than he was. He’s eating again and theres some color to his face. Every time I question him about it he just shakes his head and looks away. I’ve been by his side since that day, and nothing has changed. Perhaps he finally came to a conclusion that he needed to live, for his people and for his friends. I don’t know but I’m happy. Ludwig finally got out of his room. He’s limping still because of the prothetic leg, he seems to have gotten over the fact that he doesn’t have his leg anymore, or his arm. Ludwig really went through a time when we told him that he had to get replacement limbs, I thought then that he was going to commit suicide, but he has greater honor than that. I treasure him, I don’t want him to leave. Ludwig, please stay by my side.
January 2, 1947,
Three weeks since and he’s finally moving around more. He was able to learn how to walk better, without a limp. I’m ecstatic, he’s smiling again. Though only at me and Gilbert, but that’s a start. He’s talking more and he seems back to normal. It’s been two years since then and we’re finally seeing glimpses of the Ludwig we all knew and loved. If he keeps down on this road I know he’ll recover soon. I want my Ludwig back, I miss him. Germany is finally picking itself back up from the war. They’re reviving themselves. The people are happier and they are finally getting along, it’s exciting to see Germany picking itself back up along with Ludwig. Perhaps they go hand in hand, Ludwig is Germanys icon. Without him they can’t live fully, honestly. They need Ludwig and that’s final.
January 29 1947,
He smiled again, Ludwig did. I don’t think anyone knows just how happy it makes me. I’m finally seeing the smile that brightened my day up. Today we’ve decided to go outside, he agreed to see the world again. It should be a good thing for him, he needs fresh air, he’s been stuffed in this house for so long now, it worries me. I’m just so glad that he didn’t pass away over the winter. I don’t know what I would be doing without him. Ludwig has been a part of my life for a while now, for years. He picked me up when I was too scared to fight. He changed my life when no one else could. Now it was my turn to change his, for the better.
February 14 1947,
Tonight as I watched him get ready for bed something happened, something that came to a great surprise to me. Ludwig turned around and came to sit on the bed, putting his hand on mine, holding it gently. Words falling freely from his mouth, like a river falling off of a cliff, it was beautiful and mesmerizing. “You are the only reason that I’m alive today, you’ve helped me even when I thought that my final breaths were coming. You Feliciano, you’re stronger than I could have ever imagined, thank you. You have saved my life.”
-It made my heart jump, butterflies were forming in the pit of my stomach. I felt like I was finally king of the world… Or prince at least. Ludwig finally said something endearing to me. He was never mean to me, never, but he never told me words of encouragement. Ludwig wasn’t the type of guy to actually do that. He was ruff, born and raised in Germany. Germans were as tough as everyone says they were, and Ludwig was the perfect example of a perfect German. Tough, blond hair and blue eyes, loyal to his country, Ludwig was Germany and Germany was Ludwig.
-I looked up at him with a smile, my eyes showing my obvious joy. “Oh Ludwig, I’m glad that you’re alive, I don’t know what I would even begin to do without you. You mean quite a lot to me.” After that he continued to get ready, not another word out of his mouth. But I didn’t mind, Ludwig was getting better and it excited me. As we slept that night held me close, for the first time in nearly two years I felt at home again.
May 14, 1947,
It’s been three months since that day, Ludwig is almost back. He’s back to being the normal scowl with a smile Ludwig. He bosses me around and worries about me at the same time. He finally was able to go back to the world meetings without breaking down. You can tell that everyone is happy he’s back. He was the main mediator for the meetings. He kept us under control and the fights to a minimum, Ludwig was back, and hopefully, for good.
-All in all I have him back. Ludwig’s back, minus a few limbs. Sure he’s got a mechanical leg and arm but he’s coping. He lost those to save me. I don’t know if I ever told you how it happened but he was protecting me. I won’t go into details, it’s far too gruesome for me to recall. He’s still my Ludwig, he’s still mine.
October 3, 1947,
Today Ludwig presented me with a ring, not just an ordinary one, a ring that signified what I mean to him. We’re getting married in one months time. Ludwig, I love you.