Actions

Work Header

Waffles

Work Text:

“Wade, seriously,” Peter sighs, putting his pencil down. “Sometimes, I do actually have to finish homework.”

Wade stops bouncing on the bed, scars helping to twist his face into a pout. “But, Peter,” he insists, kneeling on the mattress. “Waffles.”

“IHOP isn’t even open.”

“IHOP IS ALWAYS OPEN.” When Peter gives him a rheumy eye, Wade puts his hands over his heart. “In here.”

“Oh, for—”

The bedroom door opens. “How’s it going, Peter!” Dad exults, taking in the scene. “Writing essays, are we? That’s good. But,” he levels a finger at Wade, “I thought we talked about sleepovers on school nights.”

“What if we just don’t sleep, Mr. Stark?” Wade suggests. “Then it’s not a sleepover.”

Dad turns to stare at Wade. Peter chews his bottom lip. The arc reactor looks like it’s glowing more intensely. Or is it just him? Shit, can the arc reactor shoot lasers? “Uh, Dad,” he tries.

“I gotcha,” Dad says, winking at Wade. He digs into his pocket. “Here ya go, son.”

Wade catches the condom. Peter buries his face in his hands. “Cool,” Wade whistles. “Do they say ‘Stark’ on them?”

Dad laughs. “Of course they do; I invented them! Well, you kids have fun. But no sleepovers.”

Peter waits until his door is shut before throwing an eraser at Wade. “Why do you keep doing that?”

“What? I need condoms. Your dad keeps me well stocked. Way cheaper than buying them myself.”

Peter pulls on his hair. “I don’t want my dad to be your dealer.”

Wade considers him. “Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn’t think I was forcing you to have gay sex with me.” He clears his throat while Peter bangs his head against the desk. “Now, will you come for waffles with me or not?”

***

“You didn’t invent condoms,” Steve dismisses him from the other end of the couch.

Tony smirks at his tablet. “Oh, I think I did.”

Steve sets his glass down. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“It makes as much sense as it needs to make.”

“Argh!”