The Avengers, bar Thor and Clint, who were on Asgard and on a mission, respectively, sat in confusion as Coulson tried to explain the situation.
“So it’s some sort of… if we get to know them now then we won’t try and kill them in the field later?”
“Exactly, thank you Captain.”
“I repeat that I didn’t mean to remove that man’s arm, he sort of jumped in front of the repulsor fire and-”
Coulson cut Tony off. “It’s fine. They were able to regrow it. But you can grovel in person, the man you shot- Jeremy Anton, codename Stitch- is who we are swapping with the Captain for the duration of this program.”
Natasha leaned forward. “And long exactly do we lose our leader for?”
“One month. But in the event of an emergency we can get him back to NYC in seven hours.”
“Wait a minute. How far away is he going? Where is this other team?” Bruce wondered.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away. (ok, like 9500 miles or 15500 kilometres, but whatever)
“So you’re going to go to New York?”
“And stay with an assassin, a sniper, a god and a green rage monster?”
“Don’t forget the guy that blew off his arm!”
“Thanks Heat. Cmon Jeremy, what the hell. We’ll have to put up with Mr Patriotic.” Kyle Stave (known as Heat most of the time) rubbed his head absently. “I mean-”
“Cut it Heat. This is going to mean that hopefully next time, they’ll recognise a friendly. So you and Sparks better be all good with this Rogers guy. At least you guy and Jump don’t have to go to NYC.” Jeremy looked up from the car he’d been under the hood of during the conversation. “Alright Sparks, turn her on.”
A rumbling purr echoed around the secret hideout. “Nice one Stitch!” Sparks called from in the cab.
“Cool. EASIA* wants me at the runway in half an hour for takeoff, so I’d better leave now. Where’d Jump get to?”
“Here Stitch!” Jump teleported to just in front of Jeremy who, being used to it, didn’t flinch. “Got everything?”
“Sword, knife, money, chocolate, phone, communicator, clothes. Yep, that’s everything.” Jeremy picked up his backpack as he spoke. “See you guys.”
“Bye Jeremy!” They chorused, to empty air as Jump had already teleported him to EASIA’s private airstrip.
“When’s Rogers get here?” Heat asked.
“Beats me.” Sparks replied, grinning despite herself. “He’s some sort of super-soldier though, bet he’s cute!”
*Pronounced Easier in my head, but really, go ahead and read it however you please.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2 (of doom, destruction and please no green rage monsters)
To the Helicarrier! (i think its spelled like that, spellcheck doesn't help much)
I have more! For my one awesome reader, but one reader is all i need (but rest of internet, feel free to make that one a bigger number, like two or even one point seven)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Jeremy had to admit, the Helicarrier was pretty neat. EASIA had some good shit, but SHIELD just had the manpower to make cool stuff. Sparks would be bouncing off the walls, drooling at the tech, but even he could appreciate it.
“This way Mr Anton.”
Agent Coulson led Jeremy onto what seemed to be the main deck of the huge carrier, where a short man that Jeremy recognised as Tony Stark was arguing to a black man in an eye-patch. A red-haired lady in black and a nervous looking man were sitting at the table talking softly.
“He is not staying at the tower Fury!” Stark shouted.
“I don’t remember giving you a choice Stark.” The man, Fury, said back in a much quieter, do-what-i-want-god-dammit voice.
“It’s my tower Fury!”
“Captain Rogers said he could stay there, and don’t you think you should really try and be nice to the guy you almost killed?”
“Uhhh, guys, that’s Stitch.” Tony and Fury looked over when Bruce spoke.
“Hey. I prefer Jeremy actually. And if the living arrangements are a problem, EASIA can pay for a hotel or-”
Tony walked over to shake Jeremy’s hand. “No, no. It’s fine. I just like to poke Fury. Just as fun as Bruce, without the messy side-effects. And what’s EASIA?”
“Extra-terrestrial and Supernatural Investigation Agency. Didn’t you do the reading Tony?”
“No green jolly fun-killer, I was celebrating our victory over Doom last night, must have missed the memo.”
“Ok boys, how about we go back to the tower, so that Fury and Coulson don’t get a migraine, and Jeremy can meet Clint.” The red-head walker over to shake Jeremy’s hand. “Natasha Romanoff. And that is Bruce Banner. I will guess you know Stark.”
“To the StarkmobileTM!”
“You guys named your transport the StarkmobileTM? With trademark on it?” Jeremy whispered, as they left for the planes.
“No. It’s called the Quinjet, Tony’s ego just likes to call it that.” Bruce muttered back.
“With trademark on it?”
“We try not to question it. He gets annoyed easily and dumps us in the middle of Texas.” Natasha commented.
“I hope you guys aren’t ruining my dazzling reputation back there!” Tony called from where he was prepping the Quinjet.
“Nothing the press hasn’t already done Stark!” Natasha called back.
“So why Stitch? I confess I didn’t read past the first few lines of the briefing, but don’t tell Tony.” Bruce asked in the Jet, while Natasha and Tony sat up front bickering.
“I’m a mutant, actually, three out of the four of the guys on my team are, and I can heal. Heat can manipulate the temperature of object from about 20 metres away, Sparks is a technokinetic, and Jump fell through some sort of time thing once and can teleport now.”
“What about the sword?”
“Yeah, more just started as a way to defend myself while healing people, but I’m actually quite good with it.”
The rest of the ride was silent, with Jeremy looking out the window at New York and Bruce absently staring at his toes.
“Hey guys! We’re here!” Tony called from the front as they landed on top of Stark Tower. “With a trademark and everything!”
Goddammit. Stark TowerTM.
Blargh. This is also turning into more crack and WHAT FOURTH WALL than i had originally intended...
(also should probably note that this isn't beta'd and so probably makes less sense than a .... um, sense making thing :/)
(also, the TM worked better in Microsoft word)