Carrie sat down a rock beside the street not far from Boa Vista, a small town in Brazil. She was exhausted and her mind was spinning around the same thoughts over and over again since she first touched ground in Brazil.
It had been about 3 months since she had left Brody after the CIA bombing at the Canadian border. There had been so less time to make a plan for everything. He had to flee, so much was clear. He was the prime suspect. It had been his car blowing up the whole CIA. There were nearly no survivors, about 27 out of 200. Saul had not been at the memorial service. Thinking about the look on Saul’s face the moment she entered the destroyed building after helping Brody to leave made her feel sad. He had been relieved at first. But it hadn’t taken long to figure out what she had done. He knew where she had been when the bomb went off and what she was doing after that. She and Brody hadn’t been on the list of victims. He knew she had helped Brody escape that night. She had betrayed him, had lied to him. Yet, he hadn’t blown her cover. He was even helping her now. She had messed up a lot in her career, but he had never turned his back on her. He wasn’t resentful, one quality she liked about him the most. She remembered him saying: ”You are the smartest and dumbest person I’ve fucking known”. They had argued but somehow it had been some kind of compliment at that time. Of course, their relationship had been more than tense after the bombing. They had sat down one night with a bottle of wine three weeks after the incident and had talked. Talked until late that night. In the end she had felt Saul was finally understanding. He had been able to relate to her actions. She had been relived because she was still remaining of the conviction of having done everything right.
Her thoughts wandered off to Brody. She missed him. Before the bomb had gone off she had felt relieved and happy. She had told him she wanted to be with him. She had thought it would be over, that she could probably even be with Brody for real. She remembered their (second) time at the cabin when everything seemed to be fine. They had talked about the future and she knew how grateful Brody had been for his second chance. He had wanted to be with her although she had been able to see the fear of losing her in his eyes. He had known how much Carried loved working for the CIA and all he had wanted was to start a new life far away from all of that. Carrie had been scared too, didn’t know what to do. They both had not known if it was possible for them to be together. But somehow Carrie had had the feeling they could make it. All her happiness had been destroyed in one fateful second. The future she had thought of had gone far away. At this time she had doubts it would be even slightly possible to have a normal future with Brody. She still loved him like she had never loved anyone before. Leaving him at the night in the woods not knowing if she would ever see him again had broken her heart. It had always been the job at the CIA and her. She had even been offered to be station chief. Now all she wished for was a life outside the CIA with the man she loved.
Carrie didn’t know how but Saul had managed to find Brody. He was held hostage in Caracas. Saul was on his way to get him free and they would meet here in Boa Vista tomorrow. It needed to be a place where they would be able to avoid causing a stir. Brody was still wanted for bombing the CIA and his face was still everywhere on the news. She wasn’t sure about how to feel about the forthcoming reunion with Brody. She didn’t know what he had been through and she wouldn’t dare to begin to imagine. Saul didn’t know much more either or in case he did, he wasn’t telling her. Sometime Carrie couldn’t tell what was on his mind.
Carrie wondered if Brody would still love her, even like her a bit. She wasn’t sure. A tear rolled down her cheeked. She didn’t bother to sweep it away. Right after the bomb had gone off she hadn’t been so sure of his innocence. He had seen the gaze in her eyes right after they had regained consciousness. She had even pointed her gun at him. Carrie knew she had hurt him a lot by her suspicion. Still she had helped him flee. Subconsciously she had known it hadn’t been him. He wasn’t capable of something like that. Maybe he had been after his return to the United States, but so much had changed after that. He had become a true man. He had decided to live. That’s why she was convinced he was innocent. But who knew what he was feeling after all this time on the run?