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One of the first things the crew of the Normandy did after the Reapers had been destroyed was throwing a giant fuck-I-can’t-believe-were-still-alive-party onboard. Rebuilding their home worlds and mourning the death would come all too soon, so they wanted to drift in their victory high a little longer. Most of them still couldn’t believe they were still alive and kept pinching themselves. Other people like James Vega hugged everyone and everything (because it also involved a highly innocent Kei-9 in the Shuttle Bay). But he’d already downed more than a few glasses of Tequila and so the young marine was more than just a little tipsy by now. Not that his best friend Cortez or the still completely sober Traynor could convince him of it.
“Esteban, compared to princess over there, I can hold my liquor.”
For that, Sam punched him in the arm what only caused Vega to grin.
“No one said otherwise, Mr. Vega. I just mentioned that your hugging turned into holding me.”
Vega blinked and looked down to his arm that was wrapped around Steve’s waist.
“Pff, there’s nothing wrong with holding your amigo after you just survived a Reaper invasion.”
With that, he pulled Cortez a bit closer to him. Sam started giggling behind her hand.
“Hm, any idea where Loco is?”
Vega looked around the room, scanning the crew around them for the commander. No such luck. He could see Liara and EDI dancing with Joker standing close by and watching his robo-girlfriend, a warm smile on his face. Sparks and Scars were close by, almost hidden in a dark corner and even in his drunken state Vega could see that they were holding hands.
Chakwas and Adams “talked” about synthetic life once again. But no sign of Shepard. Now that he thought about it, the major was missing, too.
“He should be down here with us. I mean, it’s all thanks to him we’re still here.”
“I think I saw him leave with Major Alenko a while ago. They were headed for the elevator.” Traynor replied and with that she’d given James Vega, soon-to-be N7 member a mission. Retrieve John Shepard.
Before Cortez could tell him not too, Vega was drunkenly wobbling towards the elevator.
“¡vámanoz!”
Steve sighed deeply.
“I think we better follow him before he does something stupid we’ll all regret him doing.”
“Nah, I think I’ll just tag along for shits and giggles.”
Traynor’s cheerful tone made Steve snort.
“Come on.”

They followed Vega into the elevator and headed straight up to the Captain’s Cabin so that James would finally calm down again. He’d reached the state where he happily babbled along in Spanish with Traynor understanding nothing and Cortez only making out every third word because Vega was heavily slurring. Steve almost sighed in relief when the elevator door opened with a whoosh.
“I really don’t think that this is a good idea, Mr. Vega.”
“¡pamplinas!”
He could hear Sam chuckling darkly behind them. Yep, veeery bad idea.

To Steve’s great luck the Captain’s Cabin was empty. So at least they hadn’t caught Shepard and Alenko in the act.
James more or less stumbled into the room as walking had become quite difficult for him. His big puppy dog eyes looked around the room for Shepard. Once again Vega reminded him of a giant Rottweiler puppy. Steve had totally forgotten that Sam was still there in the room and had wandered off to the wall aquarium until she coughed and said in a totally deadpan voice “Huh. The rest of the crew was right. Major Alenko DOES have a nice ass."
Steve looked at her and she threw her hands up.
“Not my division, Steve.”
Then he looked past her and saw the smudges on the glass wall. She was certainly right. Two perfectly well-shaped ass cheeks had left visible prints on the aquarium front. While he was starring at the embarrassing picture of beauty in front of him, two ridiculously strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist.
“Watcha lookin’ at, Esteban?”
Vega’s lips were dangerously close to the pulse point in Steve’s neck.
“Is that -”
“Yes. Let’s go down to the others again. The commander’s obviously not here.”
Steve looked down and saw Shepard’s priced hoodie lying in the ground, white mess smeared all over it. He couldn’t keep himself from grinning anymore and from the looks of it, Sam had noticed the hoodie, too.

They were silent on the ride back down to Crew Deck. Vega hadn’t let go of Steve’s waist yet and rested his head on his best friend’s shoulder. At least, he’d stopped babbling. When the door to the elevator opened, the trio was greeted by loud music and chatter. To their surprise, Shepard and Kaidan had returned from their little one-on-one session.
And of course, a totally smashed Vega had to open his mouth.
“Hey Loco! Couldn’t you have waited to fuck the major against the wall till the party ended? The poor fish are surely traumatized now!”
Traynor burst out laughing behind them while Alenko’s skin tried to rival a tomato’s color. The poor guy looked as if he wanted the floor to open up, swallow him and be done with it.
Shepard looked a bit drunk himself and didn’t seem embarrassed in the least. The bastard even laughed.
“Why wait when I can have it now?”
“John!”
Alenko seemed shocked and Steve felt more and more sympathy for him as the seconds went by. Traynor was still laughing, as were Garrus and Joker by now.
“What? Everyone knows you have an amazing ass, Kai. Why not enjoy it?”