Actions

Work Header

Restraining order : 접근 금지

Chapter Text


New York City was peaceful that day.

It was true that various petty crimes, all sorts of accidents and incidents, and the rest of other such happenings that grace human existence were still carrying on, but in terms of superheroes/supervillains, it was peaceful indeed. No Doctor Doom making an appearance with Doombots in tow, no demons pouring out of Hell’s gates, no terrorist attacks planned and carried out by HYDRA, no aliens invading the earth, and not one of Tony Stark’s numerous enemies trying to kill him; which made it a very peaceful and therefore very unusual day.

 

On that yawn-inducingly peaceful day, the superheroes who lived at the Stark Tower were together at the rec room by themselves, as if none of them with things to do nor friends to meet. Would be better if Captain and beefy alien had a mock combat , thought Tony. That way, the brave warriors won’t be knocked out so badly against Clint on a FPS game - Clint was teamed up with AI, maybe as a handicap. So it was really one against two - and won’t look like they’re gonna burst into tears any minute.

…...Then one more person who looks out of place in the rec room.

“Why are you here?”

“Hello, Mr Stark.”

Phil Coulson, the SHIELD agent as well as the unofficial nanny of the Avengers, looked up and gave him a slight nod.

“I need a field report from Agent Barton, so I’m waiting for him to finish the game.”

You can just interrupt the game and drag him out, it’s just a game , thought Tony. But if he actually said that, he might be dragged out when he’s ‘playing’, so he firmly kept his mouth shut.

“Oh, that reminds me. I’ll tell you since you’re here. Hey, Cap, you listen too.”

“What is it?”

Sighing his relief, Steve put the controller down and quickly jumped up. Thor also grabbed the chance and abandoned the nearly lost game and turned his attention to Tony.

“Hey, you guys!”

Ignoring Clint’s protest, Tony announced to his teammates.

“I’m not going to be available for missions during the day, maybe for two or three days, maximum one week. So cut me some slack, yeah?”

“What is the reason for this?” asked Coulson.

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s all legit... Thing is, I have to attend some court hearings.”

“What kind of hearings?” Natasha looked up from the window seat, where she was grooming her nails with a knife.

“No biggie. Some lawsuit.”

“How old is the kid? A boy or a girl?”

Thor looked mystified, but Clint burst out laughing.

“You should be asking how many, and what number this one is!”

“It’s not a paternity suit!” shouted Tony. “Well it’s similar in a way but... anyway I’d never get something like that. I always use a condom!”

“Even when you’re totally hammered?” asked Clint, as if jesting.

“Not like I’ve only done it once or twice. I can do it even in my sleep.”

“Steve, what is it that Tony can do even in his sleep?”

Disregarding the still-not-worldly-wise god of thunder, Tony moved on to the conclusion.

“It’s a patent related lawsuit.”

“...That’s no fun,” Clint turned back to his game straightaway.

“I agree. That magnetic correction device was something I developed in the first place. But somehow these guys just stole the core tech, commercialised it, and now they’re saying I committed patent infringement....”

“So it’s a matter of industrial spying and such? Maybe we should pay more attention to our current security?” asked Steve. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but these days most of Tony’s inventions were done here or in the basement of Stark Mansion in California (come to think of it, why is it always the basement?), and if someone could sneak in there, that wasn’t Tony’s problem alone.

“Hmm? Nah, it’s not that serious. I’d say it’s reverse engineering than industrial spying. Either way the tech itself isn’t so secret, so the breaking point is to find if they have developed something similar as they’re insisting, or if they sneakily changed just a part of my product. The odds aren’t half bad,” Tony grinned. “And the opponent is a rookie.”

“So, is the other side another one of the eccentric genius who assemble his own stuff in the garage?” asked Natasha.

“Nah, not the company, but the lawyer is. I don’t think he’s even thirty yet, and he’s way too easy on the eye. Makes you wonder if he’s really a lawyer or a model.”

“Tony,” Steve gave him a warning look.

“Hey, don’t worry. Even I’m not as crazy as to sleep with my opponent’s lawyer before the trial is over.”

Everyone - apart from Thor, but including Coulson - all looked at Tony with doubt in their eyes.

“Will you sleep with him after the trial then?” asked Thor.

Tony shrugged.

“Well, unless he rejects my offer saying he can’t sleep with someone who made him taste bitter defeat, maybe? But I don’t think he will. That guy, he was making eyes at me. I hear he’s quite intelligent so it can’t be he’s trying to seduce me to gain the upper hand in the trial which means...”

He stroked his beard with a smug expression on his face. His teammates could guess what he was thinking, and glowered at this ball of vanity.

“If it’s to attend the court, it can’t be helped. I’ll check the court hearing dates and remove you from the standby list.”

“...I was just accused of playing hooky, wasn’t I?”

“Now, Agent Barton. Looks like your game’s over.”  

“Yeah... huh? Wait, it doesn’t count when your opponents run away... Cap? Thor! You aren't leaving the battle behind, are you?!”

“Go with Coulson, Clint. Work comes first.”

“Steve is right. It is not right, pushing work behind for amusement.”

“I can understand Cap being uptight but when did Thor grow sense of responsi...”

Clint was dragged away by Coulson even before he could finish his protest, and Tony asked himself just how many bottles of what kind of liquor he was drinking when he decided to donate his mansion to the Avengers and have everyone live in one place.

His cellphone rang. It was his lawyer. It was time to plan for the lawsuit.



Four days later, Steve walked into the kitchen to get some food and water to replenish himself after mock combat training with Thor, only to find Tony downing whiskey in a furious pace when it was still but afternoon. Clint spotted him and waved from his seat next to Tony.

“Hey, Cap. Let him off the hook today. Our poor Tony’s been completely floored by that rookie lawyer who looks like a model and made eyes at him.”

“Who the hell you calling our poor Tony?”

Tony’s futile protest was simply ignored and Natasha, who looked just as gleeful as Hawkeye, added.

“Yeah. So currently ‘our poor Tony’ needs alcohol to glue together his shattered pride. A lot.”

“And you guys call yourselves my teammates?!”

“Washing your grief away with alcohol is not helpful, my friend,” said Thor, before Steve could even open his mouth to scold him. All the Avengers stared at Thor. Nearly boring a hole in him.

“......Is this from the guy who drinks mead before breakfast saying that’s normal in Asgard?” asked Clint after a while.

“Thor, I don’t want to admit it but your alcohol consumption beats my record,” even Tony pointed out.

“But... surely drinking a bit with your meal is fine,” Thor muttered, crestfallen. “I was only sharing my own experience...”

“It might lack persuasion, but what Thor said is right,” said Steve. “What happened at the court? Weren’t you confident you were going to win just a few days ago?”

Not that Tony Stark ever doubted he will win, ever, but Steve was rather curious about this. Tony had no competition in the world when it came to engineering. That it was concluded he stole someone else’s technology was hard to believe, from commonsensical point of view.

“It isn’t a crushing defeat if you are just considering the outcome.”

Coulson appeared from somewhere, where maybe he was listening in.

“They couldn’t prove that the other party had infringed upon Mr Stark’s patent, but they didn’t conclude Mr Stark had had infringed upon the opponent’s patent, neither.”

“I lost!” Tony shouted. “It was developed by myself! Anyone can see that! But, but now I have to respect the rights of those thieving bastards......”

“It does seem, however, the stock market is accepting this as Mr Stark’s defeat.”

Tony glared at the agent who was alternately soothing him and irritating him.

“Damn.... if it weren’t for that snake-tongued guy...”

“Snake what?” asked Steve, taking out two bottles of sports drink from the fridge and handing one to Thor.

“Lawyers are seen as evil bastards, but that bastard sure was... He looked at me when the testifying was over and grinned, and I just so wanted to make that annoying face crumpling up weeping the tears of-”

Natasha lightly kicked back of Tony’s head.

“That had a bit of subtext.”

“Ouch! No, I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Yeah, right.”

“Anyway! That lawyer guy did know a lot about phase physics. I thought he’s a lecturer somewhere, the way he was so smoothly explaining everything. I was nearly lost for words, you know? Me, Tony Stark!”

“Now that’s a rare sight. Shame, I should’ve went,” sighed Clint.

“It sure was.”

Coulson, who did go, smiled and nodded. His smile was that of a man who had seen something very pleasing, and would take it out every time he had to go through tiring and hard work.

“To top all that,” Tony continued, downing another glass of whiskey. “he even had the nerve to flirt with me straight after everything was over!”

Clint whistled.

“That beast!”

“Tony, I don’t want to say this but you look pleased.”

Steve massaged his temples.

“I am not,” Tony’s face turned serious. “He said, ‘Maybe you don’t want to sleep with someone who made you taste bitter defeat?’ I thought he’s a mind-reader for a moment.”

“Well, that must have been quite...”

“Then he goes on to say he’s always been interested in superheroes and prefers those who’s intelligent and can hold conversations with him. And half and hour ago he was making me out to be a mentally immature kid who’s vain and megalomanic...”

“He sure knows how to read people.”

“...Shut up, and he was trying to seduce me saying stuff like that when with the same tongue he’d been using to laugh at me, saying not everything important in the world can only be developed by my hands alone, which is just too much!”

“So?” asked Steve.

“So?”

“So what did you do?”

Tony hesitated.

“Tony?”

“He promised to pick him up from work at half past seven this evening.”

Coulson answered instead.

“Do you even have an upper body?!”

“Is your brain between your legs?!”

Natasha and Clint shouted at once. Steve seemed like he wanted to contribute too, but couldn’t find suitable words.

“Hey, don’t you know the saying which goes, Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer ?”

“Does that mean Mr Stark’s archenemy is Miss Potts?”

Tony shuddered, as if he was hit by a lightning.

“Don’t say something terrible like that even as a joke. If Pepper turns against me, I’d be dead in an eye blink, within ten seconds.”

Coulson shook his head.

“No, you would lose everything, become a totally crushed and ruined loser, and just barely keep your body and soul together and carry on a miserable existence until you die of old age.”

Not just Tony but all the other Avengers also paled and shivered. It was so believable which made it just too frightening.

“.......Maybe I should cancel my appointment?” Tony asked in a very tentative manner.

“I don’t really want to get involved with your private life, Mr Stark. Also I am not Miss Potts.”

Tony sighed a sigh of relief, as if he didn’t know this before Coulson said so.

“But, really,” Natasha began, “even then not saying, Sorry, I will cancel my appointment and behave myself in future , but Maybe I should cancel my appointment , do you like him that much? To not give him up when you’ll just sleep with him once and kick him out.”

“I’m not saying this as an excuse, he really does interest me on a personal level, too,” replied Tony. “He’s really... maybe I should say exotic, he’s got this really unique vibe. The way he looks and his attitude and the way he talks and all.”

“What does he look like?” asked Natasha.

“He has long black hair which comes to his shoulders, and he brushes it back neatly and ties it up. He’s quite tall. Hmm, maybe a little taller than Cap.”

“That’s not quite tall, that’s like really tall.”

Clint’s variation was ignored.

“He’s so fair he’s nearly pale, and feels quite cold, so when you take into account that tongue with that, he does feel like personification of a snake. Even when he’s just standing, it looks like he’s enticing you, too.”

“Only to you, maybe.”

“Still the most impressive thing is his eyes. They’re bright green. It’s a cliche to say so, but it does look like emeralds. You can’t read him from them and are quite inhumane, but fascinating at the same time.”

The hands of Thor, which were rummaging through snacks since he lost interest in this conversation, paused at this.

“He’s slim for his height, and knows how to dress himself well. He had this silver and green striped scarf which would’ve looked like Slytherin costume if it was someone el-”

“What’s his name?” roared Thor. Tony jumped.

“Hey, no need to shout when you’re right next to-”

“What is his name?”

Thor shouted all the louder. Tony frowned.

“It’s, uh, sounds like a lawyer but also quite mythical... Lojer, no... that’s it, Loki.”

In the next breath Tony was looking down at the god of thunder; held up by his throat, hanging high up in the air.

“Where is he now?”

“Hey, calm down, okay? Calm down, big guy...”

“Where should I go to find him?!”

“Calm down, Thor! Talk it through!”

“Let Tony down! He can’t breathe like that!”

“Mr Odinsson,” Coulson raised his voice to a level just below shouting. “Let Mr Stark down and explain the situation. Or I’ll use the taser.”

“Hey, wait, wait, Coulson! I’ll get tasered too if you use it when we’re stuck like this!”

Tony shouted desperately even when he was choking. Coulson feigned deafness perfectly.

“I think he’s more happy to use it because of that,” Clint muttered from the side.

“As if something like that would work on Thor the thunderer!” roared Thor.

Coulson aimed the taser without saying another word.

“I’ll tell you! I’ll answer whatever you ask me so let me down, Thor! I’ll tell you! Just let me breathe a bit!” Tony shouted urgently.

Thor let go of his grip and put his arm and Tony down. Coulson put away the taser, looking a bit disappointed.

After he’d been let down on the floor, Tony coughed and readjusted his collar.

“He’ll be at his fucking office now, but if you’re thinking of rushing in now, I’d tell you to reconsider. He won’t see you, being busy with settling all the paperwork for the lawsuit.”

Everyone else who wasn’t involved in this affair thought, Shouldn’t Tony also be busy with settling all the paperwork for the lawsuit? but no one had the heart to point that out now.

 

Chapter Text

 

 

“Come on, Thor. It’s not that pressing. He’s got an appointment with Tony, and it’s not like he’s going to run away, you know?”
Steven consoled Thor, who seemed to be on the verge of flaring up again.
“He might run. No, he will run,” Thor remarked gloomily. “He did so until now. Every time. Whenever I think I’ve finally found him!”
“What, you know him?” asked Tony. “Anyway, explain what this is about. We can only help out if we know what’s going on, you know?”
Thor silently contemplated the floor morosely for a moment.
“Loki is my brother.”
Tony knitted his eyebrows.
“Brother? You don’t look nothing like each... other... is not what I am saying at all, hell, no.”
Tony changed his tack when Thor glared at him murderously.
“Loki. Is. My. Brother.”
Thor looked around everyone with dangerous eyes, as if to say he won’t let anyone get away with saying otherwise. Those who didn’t have any intent nor reason to object to Thor’s brotherly relations felt a bit wronged.
“Is there a problem between you and your brother?” asked Coulson.
“There is no problem. With Loki, maybe.”
It was clear from the way it was stated that this was just wishful thinking on Thor’s part and there were way too many problems to pile up properly, which made everyone feel slightly sorry for the god of thunder.
“Then who’s the trouble with?”
“......You are aware that I had argued with my father and was exiled to Midgard, are you not?”
Thor said this in a voice which was a whisper for him.
“Yes, and you chose to not to return to your home but to stay even when you had ‘learnt your lesson and proved yourself worthy’.
Thor grimly nodded.
“Loki, well, he left us due to certain circumstances. I insisted that he should be found and brought back and searched for him by myself, but father told me to let him be. I know that father has his reasons for deciding it to be so, but to think that my little brother is wandering in a strange world by himself, shivering in loneliness and cold and hunger...”
“.....You know your pitiful maybe-little-brother had just thrashed me, right?”
Thor didn’t listen.
“What will I do if someone picks on that slight, weak boy? He’s so shy he’s not very good at making friends, what if he’s without anyone to protect him......”
Watching Thor on the verge of tears, Natasha questioned Tony with her eyes, asking him if that man really looked slight and weak, enough to make people worry he’s going to get picked on by others. Tony shook his head vigorously. Coulson lightly shrugged his shoulders next to him.
“Anyone would look slight and weak next to Mr Odinnson.”
“I should have found him; I should have found him and taken him home and given him a hug and told him both myself and father love him and that we are family...... If I did that, Loki wouldn’t have thought those strange thoughts and would have returned home and we would have been able to live happily as before.....”

Though they didn’t have any details, everyone surrounding him were convinced it couldn’t be resolved in such a simple way, but of course Thor didn’t know this.
“If father and Heimdall had exerted all their powers sooner, we would have found him more quickly; but now all the traces are gone and the possibility of finding Loki is remote......”
“So you are not sure,” Coulson interrupted Thor’s lament, “whether this lawyer really is your brother. Is there any other way of confirming it? Apart from the physical description, that is.”
“I will be sure if I meet him!” Thor argued. “So Tony, take me with you.”
“As if! On a date? On a first date? Who in the world would be mad enough to take another guy on.....”
“Did you say date?” Thor was furious, as if he didn’t hear the preceding conversation. “Anthony Stark, you who is notorious for leading a partner to bed then disposing of them the next day, is going on a date with my little brother?!”
“Nothing has been confirmed as yet,” Coulson put a hand on Thor’s arm, who was going for Tony’s throat again. “We don’t know if he really is Mr Odinson’s brother for sure at the moment. People on this earth all look very distinct, and there’s a high chance that one of them coincidentally looks very much like your brother. The name, too, as you know, is quite well-known here as tales of Asgard are myths here.”
Of course parents naming their kids after the gods in those myths were rather rare, but he wasn’t obliged to explain that far.
“We should check, of course. But before that, I want to be clear on one point.”
“What is it?”
“First, don’t approach him.”
“What are you saying!”
Thor took a threatening step towards Coulson. Coulson didn’t even blink.
“Like I said, he might be a normal earthling. Do you think it’s right for you to suddenly make an appearance and scare him? I think it would be enough to see him from a distance and get Mr Stark to confirm it for you.”
“But what if he really is Loki and he runs away......”
“If he wanted to run away, he wouldn’t have approached Mr Stark. If he’s really interested in superheroes, he’d know you’re here, too. Then he should be in some other realm, or at least in a country that’s not America, don’t you think?”
Thor considered this for a moment, then nodded, reluctantly.
“Fine, I will not appear before him until it’s clear that he is my brother. If that’s first, what is the second?”
“Even after it’s confirmed that he is your brother, before going to meet him, check if he wants to meet you.”
“Why?!” Thor roared, as if he’d throttle someone once more. “If he really is my brother, surely I have a right to meet him?”
“What if he doesn’t want to meet you? You told us he’s been running away from you till now.”
Thor had no words to answer that.
“So first find out what the other party wants through Mr Stark and...”
“Wait, what if he already knows I’ll be there?” Thor made a last-ditch effort and squeezed out his words. “You just said he wouldn’t have approached Tony if he was going to run, didn’t you? So if Loki’s coming for the meeting, that means he’d prepared himself to meet me!”
Coulson was so struck by Thor’s retaliation, made using his own logic, that he was lost for words.
“Okay, but don’t do it in a way that’d make people frightened and head for the exit.” Steve quickly intervened, seeing that Coulson wasn’t able to speak anymore. “Don’t shout his name from far away and rush up to him and stuff... you know? Do it the way normal people do it.”
After saying this Steve got worried, wondering if Thor knew how normal people greeted each other. Also, let alone Thor, Steve himself didn’t know the natural and polite way to greet people these days.
“Anyway, don’t start by frighten anyone. Wear something else other than that armour, for a start.”
“Cap is right about that one for sure,” Tony buried his face in his hands, submitting to his fate of going to his first date with another man in tow like a stalker. “You need to wear something that’s worth a house at least, if you aren’t to be shown up in the restaurant I’ve reserved. So wear something formal, at least.”
“This armour is the proper wear for an Asgardian prince and can work as a formal suit in any realms!”
“Okay then, I’ll put it this way. Please wear something that’d look like a formal wear even to the ignorant eyes of us lowly mortals!”
“There’s this one thing,” Natasha spoke up.
“What is it?”
“I don’t want to interrupt you guys, but it’s already past five.”
Tony checked the time.
“......Shit!”
“......And if you’re going somewhere like that you’d need that much time to dress up pro......”
Tony was already out of the kitchen.
“That vain bastard,” Natasha muttered. “I reckon he spends more time getting ready than women.”
“It’d take that much time for a shabby engineer to change into an attractive billionaire,” Clint nodded, as if he could understand. “Now, why don’t we all get ready?”
“We?” Steve knitted his brows. “Only Tony and Thor’s involved in this, there’s no reason for all of us to....”
“That’s why we’re going,” replied Clint, cheerfully. “Those two are involved, you know? You never know what’s gonna happen, right? Isn’t it better to be there to deal with it?”
“That’s.....”
“Let’s deal with Coulson first,” Clint changed his tune before Steve could argue against him.
Coulson was standing there stock still, fixed on the spot, dazed.
“It must have shook him, to lose to Thor in an argument. Poor thing.”
Natasha eyed him sympathetically.
“You know they say no one can win all the time,” Clint seemed somewhat refreshed by this.
“Now, let’s go. Avengers assemble to sort out a family problem!”

 

 

7:23 p.m. Having arrived pleasantly early enough, Tony sat in the car waiting for his date and began pondering.
Everyone else including Thor - that’s right, EVERYONE! - were at the restaurant already in a SHIELD-certified optimized stalker-van. Tony wondered for a moment what they were going to say to that snobbish restaurant to get bugs and cameras set up.
“Alien number two, huh.”
From what he’s seen, Thor and Loki were nothing like each other. Not just in the way they look, but their attitudes and manner of speech and all the little mannerisms were all totally different. It was hard to judge just from their appearances since he hadn’t seen their parents - wait, we don’t even know if the hereditary thing works the same way for the humans the aliens - but still he couldn’t believe they were brothers.
Thor blew his top when Tony mentioned they don’t look alike, so maybe they aren’t real brothers.
‘Then what is the nature of their relationship?’
It seems Thor, at least, wants to think of Loki as his brother. Even when he isn’t. How does Loki feel about it? Is that why he ran away from home? Because he didn’t want to live as brothers with a fake brother?
‘It may be way more complicated than I first thought.’
If this lawyer really is an alien, he’d be crazy strong even if he isn’t as strong as Thor. Tony suddenly regretted leaving his suit behind.
Not that he can wear that on a date, obviously.
‘It’s damn hard to take off, more than anything else.’
Tap tap
Someone tapped on the car window. Tony confirmed it’s the man he’s been waiting for and opened the door. Loki glided into the limo gracefully and sat next to Tony.
“Did you wait long?”
“Nah, I just got here,” Tony greeted him.
“You had a drink already?”
Tony grinned.
“More than one actually, but don’t concern yourself. I’m not driving.”
Tony pointed at the driver’s seat which was separated by a screen. Loki laughed with him.
“A real driver, and not one of your robots?”
“Sure thing, I’ll be too busy to control a robot from the back seat.”
Loki’s eyes glinted.
“Hmm, what’s going to keep you so busy?”
Tony wanted to reach out. He wanted to reach out and take hold of that face and pull it towards himself. He wanted to show Loki how adept he is at making the most of the short journey to their destination to amuse the two of them.
Of course the problem was that the not-bound-by-laws-of-physics hammer could smash through the limo roof and hit him at any moment, if he really did that.
‘They are already at the restaurant. No one’s looking in here.’
But he didn’t want to die ‘after’ making the most of their short time together, either; Tony cursed his own thoughtlessness. He could’ve told Thor to wait in front of the office and confirm him then. Then if he wasn’t Thor’s brother, they could’ve swiftly got on with their date as planned.
“Mr Stark is a very forthright man from what I hear, but it seems you aren’t in reality.”
“Well, since there’s no point trying to maintain the reputation of being the guy who is over and done with his partner in five minutes, I guess...?”
Wondering how in the hell he can keep ‘I don’t want an alien who can snap my neck like a twig with his bare hands (then again, most of the Avengers could do it, apart from him) go on a rampage because I sullied his brother’s honour’ situation under wraps, Tony smiled vaguely.
“Oh, so you think you can be over and... done with me after a bit longer?”
That smile convinced him it’s going to be him, not Loki, who’s going to be used and disposed. Tony shivered. Even if Loki was not an Asgardian, he was definitely not an average human being. He may be more than an outstanding, unique man, even. Tony didn’t need to converse with him anymore; he was sure this guy was Thor’s ‘little brother’.
‘Guess his aim was Thor from the beginning. The date’s gone down the drain then.’
“No need to be paralysed like that, I don’t do the whole chasing you with an ice pick screaming how dare you abandon me and such.”
Which may mean he would, just not with an ice pick but with something else; but Tony decided to laugh it over. You should act calm and nonchalant in front of the predator, as if you aren’t afraid of it.
“A beauty like you obsessing over me? I’d welcome it.”
Loki laughed.
“But isn’t Loki kind of a rare name? Were your parents into Norse mythology?”
“No, my registered name is Lucas Ingensson. Loki is a kind of nickname. Everyone tells me it suits me wonderfully.”
Tony nodded.
“Yeah, that’s true. Suits your job, too.”
Loki’s smile turned a shade more dangerous.
“It’s strange that all the books and movies and jokes all portray the lawyers as subhumans who are below lab rats and beyond demons, or as something even worse than demons; but when you go to the law school you see highly intelligent young people with great prospects studying their hardest to become a lawyer. Why is that the way it is? Do the people look up to these legal tricksters or look down on them?”
It seemed like an innocent enough question, but Tony, who were impressed by Loki in certain ways, thought if he gave a wrong answer here, he may not survive this meeting.
“I’ve never thought about it but... it’s both, I guess. As long as you keep to the legal boundaries, people will respect you at least, even if they don’t look up to you.”
“Even if they’d say something else behind my back.”
“Isn’t it better than them saying something to your face? There’s no one who doesn’t get that shit anyway.”
“Are you speaking from own experience?”
“To an extent.”
Tony looked out from the window.
“Think we’re nearly there.”
“Is that so.”
They were silent until the limo arrived at their destination and they got off.

 

 

Entering the restaurant, Loki handed some bills to the waiter near the entrance and whispered something to his ear. Tony was very curious to learn what he said, but he was just a man without his Iron Man suit and had no way to eavesdrop on what someone whispered quite far away.
The two of them were led to their table. Tony thought that by now the alien in the stalker-van must have recognised his younger brother. His prediction wasn’t wrong, and when they sat down and was still listening to today’s recommendations, a commotion broke out near the door. Unable to resist his curiosity, Tony turned towards the door to look.
‘Shit, Thor.’
It was a relief to see him not in his armour and red cape and the winged helmet, but he wasn’t in a proper suit, either. Well, even for Coulson it must’ve been impossible to get a suit that’d fit a giant like him, but still.
Disregarding people blocking his way and telling him he isn’t dressed suitably, Thor, having swept away the people trying to stop him and with some of them clinging onto his arms, headed straight for their table taking huge strides.
“Loki, my brother!”
Thor rushed at Loki with open arms.
His bear hug was more like a pro-wrestling move than a greeting, and Loki’d get squashed, alien or not; Tony wondered if he should try to stop him, and if it is possible to stop him.
Loki swept away Tony’s dilemma. He quickly got up from his seat like a seasoned warrior dealing with an attack, and stopped Thor’s approach holding up with a chair.
“....................?”
Thor, who never for a moment thought Loki won’t reciprocate his hug, froze on the spot, shocked. His eyes showed his hurt.
“Loki.”
Loki put the chair down.
“I apologise. I was little startled when you suddenly rushed at me.”
If that was how he really reacted when he gets startled, I should never make sudden moves when I’m with him, thought Tony. Too late for that now, but still.
Loki held out a hand towards Thor.
“You are Mr Thor Odinson, a fellow Avenger of Mr Stark, aren’t you? Nice to meet you. I’m Loki Ingensson, a lawyer.”
Thor, who was staring at Loki’s outstretched hand, snapped his head up and looked at Loki. His face was pale.
“What... what did you say?”
“I said I am Loki Ingensson, Mr Odinson.”
Thor grabbed both of Loki’s arms. This time Loki couldn’t avoid him.
“Why?” shouted Thor. “Why are you, an Asgardian prince and a son of Odin and Frigga and my brother, calling yourself no one’s son?!”
Loki grimaced as Thor’s fingers digged into his arms.
“Let go of me.”
“Loki!”
“Let go, or I’ll take this as an assault.”
“Thor, let go,” Tony also tried to pull them apart. He didn’t want the things to get out of hand here.
‘On top of that, he’s a lawyer! Who knows what he might do to you!’
Thor loosened his grip, either because Tony restrained him or because he realised Loki was hurting. But he didn’t let go.
“Loki, please stop with this trickery. Do you know how much I’ve been searching for you? Stop this and return home with me. Mother is waiting for you.”
Something flitted across Loki’s face, but before it could be recognised, he regained his calm.
“Is that some kind of Asgardian chat-up line? Here on earth, It is very rude to call someone by their name or touch them when you’ve only just met them. Remember that,” then Loki turned towards Tony. “I lost my appetite, so let’s stop for today. Also,” he glanced at Thor, then addressed Tony again. “I have nothing against threesomes, but even for someone with your standards, I feel it’s over the line to bring the third person before checking it out with me, Mr Stark.”
“......What are my standards?”
Loki shook off Thor’s hands.
“I’ll contact you for next time.”
“No!” Thor grabbed Loki’s wrist, alarmed that he will disappear again. “I cannot let you go like this... Loki, cease this trickery now and admit who you are!”
“Does this look like trickery to you?”
Loki’s face was now tinged with anger. He pulled his arm but Thor was not willing to let go, instead gripping all the more firmly. Tony wanted to stop them but even if he was wearing his Iron Man suit, someone’s arm would get broken if he tried to separate these two.
“Don’t talk about someone else’s life when you don’t know anything, when you are a stranger who doesn’t know! It may seem like a worthless mortal’s life to you but to someone else it’s very precious!”
“But you are not a mortal. Loki, why are you doing this?”
“We’ve only just met and weren’t even introduced properly. Please call me Mr Ingensson, Mr Odinson. And let go of my hand!”
Loki began shouting also, and the ruckus was getting uncontrollable. Tony buried his head in his hands and wondered if all those people who tried to stop him doing something reckless felt this way; which made him do some soul-searching right there and then.
And at that moment when he was going to motion to the staff still hanging on to Thor’s arms who were feeling a bit lost to let go-
Tony Stark was just a normal human being, but that was only when you compare him to the superhumans he lives with; his physical abilities were way beyond ‘real’ normal people.
That’s why he could hear the sound of the door opening and the ‘It’s the police. We heard there’s been some disturbance,’ even when their table was quite far from the door.
‘Shit shit shit shit! Who the hell called the cops already? It’s the cops, cops!’
“Let him go, Thor, let go of him right now!” Tony shouted in desperation.
“I will not. I will not let him leave and...”
“Let go, you dumb alien! We’re in deep shit right now!”
“Everyone put your hands on your heads and step back!”
Tony groaned and did as he was told. He just wanted to play with an attractive lawyer for a bit; how the hell did it turn into this?

 

 

Chapter Text

Coulson sighed inwardly and looked at Thor through the bars. The great Thor, Asgard’s first prince and the conductor of thunder, was sitting slumped down with a bowed head staring at the floor in the lock-up.

“Mr Odinson.”

“Call me Thor,” said Thor. “I do not wish to be called Mr Odinson ever again.”

Coulson sighed.

“Fine, Thor.”

Thor looked up a bit.

“Regrettably, from the circumstantial evidences and the witness statements, it is clear that you... - Coulson hesitated slightly - attacked him...”

“I did nothing of the sort!” Thor jumped up and looked down at Coulson. “I would never do something that would hurt Loki! You know my ways; if I truly wanted to attack him......”

Coulson held his hand up.

“On earth, according to our laws, just holding someone’s hand when they don’t want to can be regarded as an assault.”

Noticing Thor’s amazed face, he added.

“Isn’t it punishable by law in Asgard when you cut someone’s hair? Even when you don’t use your fist or a weapon?

“That’s... we call that a despicable trick, not an attack!”

“But we do.”

Thor’s face darkened, and he flopped down on the narrow bed in the lock-up again. Coulson felt a momentary concern for the flimsy cot, thinking it may be unable to take Thor’s weight and break under him.

“The... lawyer has bruises on his wrists and arms which will last for about a week. That clearly comes under battery.”

“Aren’t Midgardians allowed to hold their brother’s arms?”

“Yes, but not so that they bruise them.”

Especially if the other party is a lawyer and is dying to throw you in a lock-up, added Coulson, to himself only.

“So you have to stay here till tomorrow morning, I’m afraid. When it is light I’ll contact the judge of the area and get you released. So please stay in there, without causing any trouble until then.”

“But..... Loki is my younger brother!” Thor cried out in despair.

“He denies it.”

“I can prove it is so!”

“How? By the way, you can’t use verification methods like he doesn’t die when hit by Mjolnir or his arm heals straightaway when it gets broken. You can’t do anything like that.”

“Why?”

Coulson wanted to wrap his arms around his head and groan.

“You have to consider that he might just be a human who looks like your brother and take that into account when verifying...”

“He is my brother,” Thor insisted. “How else do you explain his name? Who else would call himself ‘Son of no one’?”

“Humans have many strange family names.”

Coulson replied, instead of asking him just what kind of family Thor has so that he can identify his brother that way.

“Some people have names which mean ‘smelly foot’ or ‘cockroach’. Even among my agents, there’s a beefy man called ‘Skylark’ and a young woman called ‘Whitebeard’. ‘Son of no one’ is... it could be one of his ancestors was a love child or was disowned by his family.” He added in a serious tone. “You cannot prove anything with just that.”

 

 

“Though you can suspect,” said Coulson. They were in the car, heading home. “It did seem a little bit strange the police responded that quickly, so I looked into who made the phone call. Apparently Mr Ingensson had tipped one of the staff and asked him to call the police immediately if he thinks there’s going to be a disturbance.”

“Damn, so that’s what it was,” Tony groaned. “So he was all set to meet Thor from the very beginning. Thor was right about that..... though the vector’s completely off.”

“That’s cruel,” Steve murmured. “How can he do that to his brother? The hurt look on Thor’s face when he was apprehended......”

If the matter could be solved by Steve rushing into the restaurant and grabbing Loki’s collars, no, if it didn’t get worse even if he did so, Steve would have done so right away. If Bucky treated him cruelly like that...

Tony patted Steve’s shoulder, consoling him.

“So he made an appearance just to hurt him. That’s low, that’s something your divorced wife would do,” Clint spat out.

“Doesn’t it make you wonder about their relationship?” said Tony. “When you think about it, if he’s been avoiding Thor like Thor said he did, it’s strange that he showed himself. Especially when he’s currently doing so well for himself.”

“He might do a runner after this.”

“Really? I don’t think so. His lawyer’s license and certificate of graduation are all genuine. He was sent to a care centre as a kid with no identification when aged fourteen, then was brought up in a foster home, then went to college as a scholarship kid doing a lot of part-time stuff. His history before age fourteen is completely nonexistent, but he’s the epitome of self-made guy who’s respected in the law firm and by people around him - so even if he’s immortal, do you think he’d throw away twenty-years worth of work just to put Thor in the lock-up for a night?”

“......When did you find all that out?” asked Natasha.

Tony grinned a proud grin.

“When you combine JARVIS’s searching abilities with SHIELD’s security clearance level, you come up with some amazing stuff.”

Coulson was shaking his head next to him. No one said anything, too worn out to even glare at him with eyes that said, Gee, aren’t you special. Tony seemed to be a bit hurt by the lack of response.

“Whatever Thor says, they are not related. There’s no resemblance, but more than that, Thor nearly bit Tony’s head off when he pointed that out,” said Natasha.

“But when they met, Thor called Loki ‘an Asgardian prince and a son of Odin and Frigga’.”

“So they are family not in a biological sense but in a  legal sense, which means adoption,” Coulson wrapped it up.

“Adoption.....? Do the royals do that too?” asked Clint.

“There’d be a lot of political trouble.”

“Maybe that’s why he left,” suggested Natasha.

“Let’s ask Thor himself when he’s released tomorrow,” said Steve, who’s been quiet all along.

Everyone shut up at his words. Their speculation upon speculation wasn’t going to reveal the truth. It was best to let Thor explain. Though if he would, was yet unclear.

 

But when Thor returned to the mansion, out of the lock-up, he was not in a state to hold a conversation. Everyone thought it’d be awesome if a villain or a demon or a monster or whatever turned up so they could battle them out, but supervillains are supervillains because they don’t do what the superheroes want them to do; so the world was still very peaceful.

“Doom, that evil bastard, why isn’t he attacking us with Doombots!”

Clint threw away the controller and fumed; even the game he picked up to distract himself wasn’t working out. He was always telling Thor and Captain to not throw the controller around, but he felt no guilt when it was him who’s doing it. At least he didn’t break it when he did, not being a super-soldier or an Asgardian, and they didn’t have to buy the expensive console again when he threw it around.

- I thought Dr Doom was evil because he attacked with Doombots, sir.

Clint groaned when JARVIS mildly reproached him.

“I thought no one’s around, but there’s you talking back to me. ...Wait a minute, what’s everyone up to?”

- Mr Stark is destroying a half-completed part which doesn’t seem to have great future prospects; Mr Rogers has just rammed the fourth sandbag into the opposite wall in the training room. Agent Romanov is in her room but told me to ‘Don’t you dare look’ so I am respecting the lady’s privacy. Agent Coulson is not in the mansion, but if you’d like to know, he is on the move and has connected to the Transportation Security Administration to ask for all the security footage from the CCTVs on the road.

Clint felt a premonition crawling up his spine.

“For what?”

- To find out whereabouts of Mr Odinson, correction, Thor, who ran out without revealing his reason or destination.

“......When did he leave?”

- Approximately 24 minutes ago.

Clint shot up and ran out of the rec room.

“You should have told me too!”

- Apologies, sir, but you were cornered.

Clint wasn’t sure if it was good thing or a bad thing that even JARVIS respected his gaming life.

“Tell Tony too! Cap... no, don’t tell Cap, and tell Coulson I’m joining him.”

- Yes, sir. Shall I save your game and quit?

“Nah, I screwed it up.”

 

However, despite the efficiency of Coulson and JARVIS, they were late again.

“The response was again very... quick,” Coulson murmured while Tony was bailing Thor out.

“He wanted to get him before we come and fetch him back, obviously,” Clint muttered.

“I... I just wanted to parley with Loki once more.”

Looking like a big dog who just got hit by a rolled-up newspaper and didn’t understand whatever for, Thor explained himself. He looked so pitiful, and Clint and Tony felt sure that Loki was a cold-blooded bastard who had no blood nor tears nor heart and had ice flowing in his veins.

“It is not wise to follow the victim to his office the day after you’ve been arrested for an assault,” said Coulson.

Thor opened his mouth. Before he could say anything, Clint slapped him on the back.

“Yeah, yeah, we know; the human laws are annoying and petty and inhumane, huh? Arresting you when you’re just trying to talk to your bro.”

“But try to not get arrested the next time. I’m not complaining because I don’t want to post your bail; if you get arrested for the same thing for three times, I can’t bail you out,” said Tony, turning towards them. “It’s all done. Let’s go.”

Thor followed his friends lead with drooping shoulders.

He looked up when suddenly everyone else stopped in their tracks.

Loki was standing just outside the police station.

With an impassive face, not saying anything, not revealing any of his intentions, he was just staring at Thor.

Thor felt a flicker of hope. So this was just Loki playing tricks, he wanted to see him also; he’d now approach him and pat his shoulders and ask him how does it feel to suffer a bit and laugh as if it was all nothing.

Loki turned away. Thor nearly followed, without thinking, but Tony and Clint had him between them, clung on to him and stopped him.

‘It’s a good thing I left Steve at home. If he was here, he’d collared that guy and become the second Avenger to get arrested,’ thought Clint.

After Loki had disappeared, after hesitating for a long time, Thor whispered:

“I...... does Loki hate me?”

“Did you realise that just now?” muttered Tony, who was beside him.

“Why?”

“We’d like to know, too,” said Coulson. “So when we get back, tell us everything. The reason your brother left home, how he acted then, what he said, and about the Asgardian royal family in general; everything.”

 

When they got back, the Avengers all gathered together to listen to Thor. Coulson had an amazing technique, getting Thor’s incoherent and mumbling explanation to stay on track by asking timely questions and even making him remember the forgotten details.

“You should know who’s responsible for this.”

Tony was aiming to compliment him, but when Coulson glared at him, he shrank back.

Well, it was true that Coulson could get Tony to debrief him after a mission even when he had pulled an allnighter of inebriation and had a mini-Thor hammering his skull from the inside and a mini-Natasha practising her kicks in his stomach, and was therefore totally incoherent not just to himself but even to god almighty, so......

“Why don’t you just thank me for helping you upgrade your skills?”

Coulson silently nodded.

“Fine. Thank you, Mr Stark. Now I’d like to upgrade my non-lethal combat skills; will you help me with this too?”

“I forgot my place and I apologise with all my heart.”

Steve sighed.

“Please, Tony, concentrate.”

“Does everyone else think I’m at fault here?”

Natasha pressed Tony’s head down.

“Don’t add a question mark at the end of a factual statement. So, Thor, to summarise: Loki looked into the future, thought he’s going to turn into a villain, and left Asgard to prevent that from happening, is that it?”

“That is so,” Thor nodded.

“But I don’t understand,” Steve had a confused look on his face. “Why didn’t he just stay and not do what he shouldn’t do, rather than leaving home?”

“Yeah, when you look at the myths, all the guys who left home to avoid some prophecy from happening met bad ends,” nodded Clint. He only realised the absurdity of their situation when he recalled this big-dog-look-alike-humanoid-being in front of him was also a mythical character.

“I told him the same thing,” Thor replied gloomily. “Loki got angry. I do not know why. And... he said he will do it, because he doesn’t know the reason.”

“What doesn’t he know?”

“Why do I get forgiveness but he doesn’t? …..No, why is it honourable to kill an enemy in a physical combat, but cowardly if you use magic to achieve the same thing?”

“I don’t know why, either,” replied Natasha, looking somewhat unbalanced. “Weapon, magic, bare hands; whatever you use, isn’t it just great to get rid of the enemy quickly and properly?”

Coulson knitted his brows as he put together all the things they said.

“Either Loki couldn’t explain himself properly as he was confused... or Thor remembers it imperfectly.”

It was highly possible that both was the case.

“Sorry,” Thor apologised.

“No, it’s not your fault,” Steve gently soothed him.

“But what do we do now, with no clues to go on with?” Tony looked at Coulson as he said this.

“If we were producing an incident report, we would listen to what the other side has to say.”

At this everyone shook their heads. It was clear that Loki will not be kind enough to explain things to them. When Tony looked at Steve, he shrugged and admitted that he had no idea to offer.

“We aren’t listening to how Tony will go about it, as we all know his style is to ignore the issue and drink it away,” said Clint.

“Hey!”

“Why don’t myself or Natasha sneak into his office or law firm or whatever and get intel...”

“You’ll be arrested for stalking in less than five minutes, so we’ll reject that,” Tony mimicked striking a gavel. “So what’s left now is-”

And everyone looked at Thor.

“....I think I should visit him once more and try having a conversation with him.”

“You got plans?”

There was no reply.

“So your way is action before words, and thinking after it’s done rather than planning ahead?”

“But Thor, when you think about what happened today...”

“So, son of Coul,” Thor cut him off. “Teach me how to approach Loki without getting arrested.”

 

Chapter Text

 

 

After finishing lunch, Loki went in the elevator to return to his office. He half-expected to see Thor following him to the restaurant, but nothing happened to interrupt his peaceful lunch hour. Then again, trying to see him today when he got arrested just yesterday would be....

‘Thor would do so, but his friends won’t let him. So what will he do now?’

He knew what actions Thor would take, to minute detail, but he didn’t know and couldn’t foresee how the other Avengers would react. It was most likely they would approach this according to the common sense humans have, but when you think about it, they hadn’t a grain of common sense in them.

The elevator doors slid open. As he got closer to his office, he could smell some fragrant tea.

“Is that Happiness ?” he asked his secretary.

“Yes, it’s better to have really fragrant one just after a meal.”

Loki poured a cup from the teapot. He purred in satisfaction.

“I love you, Emily.”

“Shame I don’t love you back, boss.”

Loki clutched his chest.

“Jeez, got rejected again. What tragedy.”

“Don’t you worry, I won’t report you for sexual harassment in workplace,” Emily replied seriously.

“Thanks, you’re an angel.”

Loki liked Emily. Emily, who had her naturally tight-curled black hair done up in a round and puffy afro and preferred loud earrings and seemed to weigh more than Loki, was wonderful at organising and had great memory and was a pro at brewing tea. More than that, when Loki had swapped all the leads of coloured ballpoint pens around and she had to rewrite two sets of documents, she burst out laughing with all the others and called him ‘a mischievous cat’.

If he shaved all her hair, she’d just laugh about it and say she’d use this chance to try a new style, dragging him to go wig shopping with her.

“I’m sorry to tell you there’s a news that might spoil your mood.”

Loki sipped the tea once more.

“Why, am I going to be fired?”

“No. The giant who broke in yesterday wants to book an appointment with you.”

Loki put down the teacup on the secretary’s desk.

“Thor Odinson?”

“Yes, he came with Tony Stark.”

Loki raised his eyebrow.

“Dear me, don’t tell me that playboy tried to flirt with my dear Emily?”

“I’m not your dear Emily, boss. And isn’t he trying it on with you? Just say the word and I’ll kick him in the butt and throw him out.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll do the kicking myself. So the appointment?”

“I didn’t think you’d want to see him, so I told them you are busy for a while. Stark left his business card asking you to call when you aren’t busy. What should I do?”

Loki grinned.

“Put it in the shredder.”

“That’s funny, I’ve already done just that.”

Loki threw his head back and burst out in laughter.

“Oh, Emily. You really are such a jewel.”

With the teapot and the teacup in each of his hands, he elbowed opened his office door.

Feeling the eyes on him, Loki turned to look at Emily again.

“What is it?”

“Um, that Mr Odinson is the guy who’s in the news wearing a weird gear, right?”

Loki nodded.

“Yes, he’s in that superhero group.”

“Is it to do with yourself?”

Loki smiled awkwardly.

“Sorry, I’ll tell you later.”

Loki went into his office and shut the door with his foot. After putting the tea things down on his desk, he looked out the window. He thought maybe he’d see Thor outside, hovering, but there was no such scene.

He closed his eyes.

What should he do now?



It took exactly three days for Thor to lose his patience.

Actually it took less than three days, but all the other Avengers were keeping a very sharp eye on him in case this unpredictable alien did something, so he could only take action on the fourth day.

“Mr Ingensson is not in. If you have a message, I will pass it on to him when he comes in.”

Thor looked down at her threateningly, but Emily was not perturbed.

“You lie,” Thor growled. “Loki is in. I can feel it!”

“The yoga centre is on the third floor. If you need some spiritual contact, you’d better go there.”

“Who are you to come between myself and my brother?!”

“I’m Mr Ingensson’s secretary. And secretaries get paid for getting between the boss and a rude and unwanted visitor.”

“I did it the polite way and left a business card and tried to get an appointment!”

“You did. But that polite appointment hasn’t been made yet.”

Thor couldn’t stand anymore; he started banging on Loki’s office door with his fist.

“Loki, Loki! We must talk, I will not force you to do anything against your will!”

“Hey! Now you are doing something to force him to talk to you, you know?”

Emily stood up and grabbed Thor’s arm, pulling him back. But there was no way an ordinary human female could get Thor off the door.

“It’s all right, Emily. I will talk to him.”

They heard Loki’s voice from behind.

Thor and Emily both quickly turned back. Loki put down his briefcase on the secretary’s desk, as if he couldn’t feel two pairs of eyes on him, then faced Thor.

“Firstly, apologise to my secretary for slandering her, calling her a liar.”

“.....When did you begin listening? How long have you been here?”

Loki shrugged.

“It wasn’t necessary to be here; I’m sure everyone in the building heard you. So?”

Loki gestured to his secretary. Thor hung his head with an uneasy expression on his face.

“I apologise for condemning your words as lies without knowing the full truth.”

“Erm......” Emily glanced at Loki. “Well, I’ll accept it. So the two of you...”

“Have I got some urgent business at the moment?”

“You are meeting Messrs Darwin & Harwin at 3 o’clock, which isn’t far off.”

Loki looked at his watch.

“So I have about fifteen minutes. Mr Odinson, shall we talk inside?”

Thor flinched at being called Mr Odinson, but he was relieved that he finally got to talk to Loki, and nodded.

Loki opened the door of his office. Thor went in first, and as he was turning to go in, Emily snuck up to him and asked him in a low voice.

“Shall I call the police?”

“No, it’s fine today,” Loki nodded as if to assure her and closed the door.



“Have a seat, Mr Odinson,” Loki offered him a seat first.

“You... can’t you refrain from calling me Mr Odinson?” said Thor with an uneasy look on his face.

“I don’t see why I should call you in more casual terms.”

Thor took a step closer.

“Please, Loki.”

“Stop,” Loki held up an open hand. “I think I have said this for more than twenty times. I am not your brother.”

“Why are you so adamant in denying it?” asked Thor. “Why do you hate me so?”

“I don’t hate you,” Loki’s glance shifted to the table. “I don’t... like your excessively confident attitude.”

Thor frowned.

“Isn’t being confident a good thing?”

“...Let’s call it brazen, then. From when we first met, you didn’t consider how I think or react at all and just pushed on with how you’d like things to proceed. As if you thought I would act and conform to what you want and what you expect. As if I am your lawful possession. Have you even thought about how I’d feel about it, even once?”

Thor opened his mouth then shut it again. Loki was right. He hadn’t thought about things like that at all.

“Why don’t you listen to what I say? Why do you never think about what I ask? If you have ever taken what I said to heart - Loki took a deep breath - things would never have come to this.”

Loki asked himself if that was really true.

Perhaps. If Thor didn’t hold on to Loki after Loki told him to let go, if he didn’t keep on shouting and insisting Loki’s his brother, he wouldn’t have been able to call the police and Thor would not have become the superhero in the lock-up. And maybe... maybe they would have been able to hold a peaceful and civilised conversation.

Of course Loki knew, more than anyone else, how such a thing was impossible.

Did he want something like that?

He didn’t know. He couldn’t know. He wanted to make Thor suffer. He wanted to throw Thor in the mortal lock-up and make him feel degraded. He wanted Thor to learn confusion and despair. He wanted to confirm that Thor was still - still an idiot who did not understand. He wanted to show Thor how confident and happy he was here - though ‘here’ may be Midgard, a landfill-like world where all the losers and misfits from all the realms drifted to - and show him how well he got over Asgard. He wanted Thor to be shocked at finding him to be a completely different from before; how changed he was from a pathetic creature who was ignored by everyone without knowing why, yet still craved the affection of the others. He wanted Thor to be shocked, embarrassed, and have him regret that he didn’t treat him well and understand him better.

Though he knew it could never be so.

Loki felt his strength leaving him.

‘What was I hoping to achieve?’

It was his speciality and hobby to look into the minds of others, stare into their secrets and attack the weak point he had unearthed. Yet he could never look into his own mind properly.

“Um...”

Thor’s voice recalled him to the reality.

“Um..., Loki,” he sighed. “I, err, I also had tried thinking, in my own way. What was wrong, and if there is anyway to remedy that even now. If you don’t like it... if you don’t want it, I will not ask you to come back. Still, um, how about just letting them know that you are well? That would relieve mother and father greatly.”

Thor was still thinking of him as a brother even after all this; Loki felt drained. He couldn’t even get angry. When you hit a wall, you should tell yourself off for being careless; getting angry at the wall was plain stupid.

“Erm.... Are you happy now? …Now you don’t have us?”

Loki opened his mouth, then shut it again. Finally he had a reaction similar to the one he wanted, and he should reply of course it was so, but for some reason he couldn’t say anything.

Of course it wasn’t because he wasn’t happy now, or because he missed them. There was a different reason for his current hesitation. But maybe, just maybe...

A chime rang out. Startled, Loki looked at the interphone on his desk.

The fifteen minutes were already past.

“I’m sorry to say the time is up.”

Loki recovered his lawyer-like attitude. He walked past Thor towards the door.

“I regret we weren’t able to reach an agreement, Mr Odinson.”

To Thor that sounded like a final pronouncement.

“Good bye.”

“Loki, please!”

Thor forgot what Coulson said about even holding hands being considered an assault in Midgard, and grabbed Loki’s shoulder.

“Please think again; do you really, really hate us so? Do you hate me so much that you do not wish to see me ever again?”

Did he not hear a word I said? thought Loki. He told him that he doesn’t hate him.

Thor used only hear what he wanted to hear and ignored all the warnings and words of concern, going ‘Good, everyone agreed so it’s decided!’, so maybe he had improved a bit - but Loki thought he didn’t improve very well.

Yet, while Loki got angry at Thor for being an idiot, he never hated Thor being an idiot; and he will never hate him for that reason, ever. If he did, he wouldn’t have been able to live happily in Midgard which has more fools than even Asgard.

Maybe he took Loki’s good bye as meaning he wishes to never see him. This idiot, Loki sighed, and he opened his mouth to tell him that he didn’t hate him, as he just told him, and also tell him that  if he behaves as well as he did today, well, actually, if he behaves better than today, he may make another appointment.

“Why do you go this far?”

All the words he was going to say disappeared. Loki turned towards the sudden intruder.

A young man was standing, with his upper body slightly bent, next to Emily’s desk. The kind of stance people tend to take when they’re questioning Emily about Loki’s whereabouts.

He was not as tall as Thor, but for a human was rather tall and had wide shoulders. His overpowering presence and bearing proved him to be a warrior. He must be one of Thor’s mortal comrades.

“Steve?”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Thinking as expected , after witnessing Thor’s reaction, Loki turned all the way to face him properly.

“As if you don’t. You’re tormenting him in purpose,” Steve was trying to speak calmly and not shout. “What did Thor do that you’re torturing him like this? No, even if he’s done something wrong, why don’t you just not see him if you hate him and can’t stand him? Why did you let him see you, why now?”

“That sounds like I intentionally appeared in front of him and led him to do something which will get him locked up to make him suffer.”

“Isn’t it?” Steve spat out. “You obviously knew how Thor will react and approached Tony to ensnare him. Or how do you explain telling the waiter to call the cops?”

Loki frowned lightly.

“Oh, that. As you know Mr Stark has a lot of enemies as a well-known super hero and also as Tony Stark, but without his iron armour he is but a mortal man. I don’t see the problem with thinking there may be trouble and finding possible legal means to counter it.”

Steve was lost for words for a moment.

“Also... Mr Steve?”

“Steve Rogers.”

“Yes, Mr Rogers. It seems that you, like Mr Odinson, think I am an alien from Asgard who left his hammer hidden at home.”

“Huh? You don’t use a hammer.”

Loki wanted to poke Thor’s side, and tried his best to repress it. He really wouldn’t be able to answer if someone asked him how a lawyer of 21st century could accurately find the chink in the armour and poke it with bare hands.

“I guess not all the Asgardians use a hammer. I see. Anyway, you may think that I have  whatever the weapon Mr Odinson’s brother may use hidden at home, but I don’t even possess a small gun for protection, let alone a dangerous pole weapon,” Loki shrugged. “If I had a father and a mother and all the grandparents and an uncle and an aunt and a cousin like all the other normal people, it would have helped to clear this misunderstanding, but as I was unlucky enough to be abandoned even by my real parents, I have no evidence to offer, but,” he looked at the two of them. “That does not automatically make me an alien.”

Loki looked at Steve, then at Thor.

“Now. If you two gentlemen would leave, as I have matters to.....”

“It’s not Thor’s fault that everyone loves him more than they love you!”

Loki, who was just about to turn, stopped in his tracks.

“Actually, I can completely understand why they did. This kind of malicious and...”

“Mr Harwin will be here soon,” said Emily. She stood in front of Steve. “Please leave.”

Steve had a lot more to say, but Emily didn’t even flinch while facing Captain America down, holding his gaze. Finally Thor moved.

“Let’s go.”

When the two of them disappeared from the view, Emily went up to Loki, who was still standing as he was.

“Boss?”

Loki suddenly turned and grabbed Emily’s arm. Emily wince.

“It hurts, boss.”

“Oh, sorry.”

Loki let go, as if he just returned to himself. Emily looked at where she was grabbed.

“You should be. You know how hard it’s to get the blood out, right?” saying so, she opened her drawer and pulled out a small first aid kit.

“......Blood?”

Emily held Loki’s palm open and wiped it with a cotton wool soaked in alcohol, then put some salve on it. Loki was a bit flustered, as he didn’t even know his nails were biting into his palm.

“I apologise about the stain, too. I’ll buy you a new one.”

“It’s fine. It’s pink so if I just wash it in cold water, it won’t show. What’re you going to do with the appointment?”

“Huh?” Loki wondered if he made an appointment with Thor for a moment.

“Mr Harwin.”

“Yes, I will see him,” he looked down at his palm, glistening with the salve. “It’s better to work.”

“Then let’s have a chat after work.”

“A chat?”

Emily raised an eyebrow.

“Do you want to pretend everything just now didn’t happen?”

“........After work, then.”



 

Chapter Text

 

 


Loki finished the consultation with Harwin and wondered what he should do now. Emily came into his office.

“Will you explain now?” asked Emily. “From the beginning, please. Did you dig a secret tunnel in your office with a spoon like Count of Monte Cristo, or...”

“Or, this.” Loki shrugged his shoulders.

In a blink of an eye Loki’s body began splitting up. Emily was lost for words, staring at twelve Loki Ingenssons who had surrounded her and was grinning at her.

“So....” she finally said after a long while. “That was you too, right?”

“Hmm?”

“The one who changed all the desktop shortcuts on Mr Hingelman’s computer to gay porn website bookmarks.”

“Oh, that,” recalling that satisfying trick, Loki giggled.

“Everyone suspected you but there was no one on the CCTV.”

“That man was really horrible to Miss Lijin.”

“I know. That was good,” Emily nodded. “So what that big man said is true? You two... are brothers?”

“Perhaps,” shrugged Loki. “We are not related by blood. I was adopted as a baby. From what Thor says, it seems Odin hadn’t publicly disowned me yet, so maybe we are brothers still, legally.”

“Odin, I’ve heard that name before.”

“Odin. King of the Gods. Son of Bor. All-Father. One-Eyed God. The God of Wisdom who gave his eye to drink from Mimir's Well and gave the runes to humans, also the God of War and Poetry, as well as the owner of Wednesday.”

“Wednesday?”

“Yes. Tuesday is dedicated to Tyr, Wednesday to Odin, Thursday to Thor, Friday to Frigga... I think? Maybe I’m wrong, as Saturday is for Saturn, out of the blue. I can overlook the fact that  I haven’t a day to myself, but why does Saturday suddenly refer to Greek mythology when it’s been Norse mythology throughout? And why are Sunday and Monday named after heavenly bodies? Humans are strange.”

Emily just sat there, not being familiar with mythologies. Loki began pacing the room.

“Wait, I don’t want to overlook that there’s no day for me. Isn’t it strange when even someone like Tyr has his day? If you consider the precedence, I am above him, and if you consider popularity, Freyja is... actually, I even heard Friday is for Freyja. That’s incomprehensible, too; how can they confuse those two when only the first two letters of their names are the same? Their origin and character and behaviour and everything is absolutely different!”

“....Is that so?”

“Yes. I wonder what I did when I came to Midgard the last time. Did I pull the King’s pants down when he was holding a general audience? Why did everyone hate me so?” Loki was disheartened by his own words. “...That’s right, even the Midgardians hate me; hate me so much that in their myths they make me give birth to a horse, have me trapped in a box for three months with not even a drop of water to drink, sew my mouth, and have me tied to a rock by my child’s intestines with snake poison dropping on my eye for eternity......”

“Shall I call the police?” said Emily. “That’s illegal, no matter how you hate someone.”

“.....Even if I’m a snake-tongued lawyer who can toy with the jury and the judge and the opposing lawyer, I won’t be able to win a case that happened a thousand or two thousand years ago with ‘libel’ or ‘verbal abuse’.”

“Then forget those who kicked their buckets a thousand years ago. We like you, boss.”

“We?” asked Loki, assuming indifference.

“There’s me, Mr Huffle, and all the female staff will swear loyalty to you if they find out you paid that sexually harassing pervert back for what he did.”

“......The one who locked all the cubicles in the ladies’ room from the inside and put a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man on the only available toilet was me, too.”

“That’s okay, it was Halloween,” then Emily tilted her head a bit. “You went a bit too far locking it all from the inside, but that Marshmallow Man was cute; so I forgive you.”

“........Thank you.”

“And I don’t like the ancients, either. The so-called King of the Gods rapes scores of women when he’s already married, and his wife doesn’t even think to break her husband’s head but chases the wronged women and harasses them. Don’t you care one bit about what all those crackheads thought.”

Loki was confused for a second but soon realised she was talking of Olympus, not Asgard.

“Okay. I won’t care,” he smiled and nodded.

“But then, does that mean.... are you a god, boss?”

“Well, in a sense that I’m eternally young and immortal, much stronger than humans, and can do a lot of seemingly miraculous things? Yes. But if I receive rituals and answer prayers and such? No,” Loki shrugged. “It’d be better to just say I’m a being from otherworld. Not an Aesir god, but just of Aesir race.... though I’m not one anyway.”

Before Emily could ask, Loki quickly replied.

“I’ll summarise it for  you. I’m of a race the Aesir consider as being savages or monsters, and I was ‘scheduled’ to find that out just too late, by coincidence, even. And I’d lose my sanity and destroy everything and kill a lot of... people and I was to die also... according to my fate, or is it destiny? Anyway it was something like that, but luckily I learnt that’s how it was to be before I went completely insane and ran away, so that didn’t happen.”

He sat down on the sofa and wrapped his arms around himself.

“I think I acted rather calmly, when I had just learnt that when I grew up I’d become insane and attempt a massacre... under the circumstances.”

“Did you approach Mr Odinson intentionally?”

“Yes. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know myself. Maybe... what the man called Rogers said is true. I wanted to make him suffer. I thought he deserved it when he spent a night in the lock-up. I wanted him to miss what he had lost. So I got angry when he didn’t admit the fact that he’d already lost me.”

“But you wanted to see him too, right?” said Emily. “Didn’t you feel just a tiny bit relieved when he was happy to see you?”

Loki didn’t reply.

“.............I think I should go and get some dinner,” said Loki.

Emily sighed.

“Do what you want, but.”

“But?”

“....Just don’t suddenly appear on TV one day wearing a cape and flying around.”

Loki smiled mischievously.

“What’s wrong with a cape? Actually, I have this helmet with gigantic horns like this and an armour too...”

Emily glared at him so Loki said no more.

“I don’t know what to do, either,” he confessed.

“Family problems tend to be like that.”



Coulson frowned. Two fearless warriors stood in front of him with hunched shoulders and hanging heads.

“Setting aside Thor, you too, Mr Rogers?”

“Sorry,” said Steve, in a small voice.

“Fancy that, Cap got into trouble,” said Clint.

“It wasn’t trouble as such,” Steve protested feebly. “It’s just... I was trying to fetch Thor ASAP and...”

“What did you say to Loki?”

“Not much... I snapped at him for treating his brother badly. And, that it’s not Thor’s fault that he’s loved more than him,” he added in a weak voice. “It is true.”

“True, yes, but I don’t think pointing that out would be helpful in improving their current brotherly relations.”

“But there’s no other way,” said Clint. “If he doesn’t want to make up at all, what Thor does won’t make any difference.”

Thor’s shoulders sagged a bit more.

“Then what should I do?”

“There is no quick, simple and easy solution to family problems,” Coulson sighed. “There is a psychiatrist who specialises in counselling at SHIELD, so maybe you should get some counselling on family relations? If the two of you; actually it’d be best if your parents come also, too, but it’d be hard to convince them so for now even if it’s just yourself...”

“Guys, we’re in trouble,” Tony entered. “We, no, Thor doesn’t have a choice in the matter anymore.”

“Why?” Thor quickly stood up. His face was pale. “Did something happen to Loki?”

“Hey, do you think you’re in a position to worry about him now?” Tony put down the document he was carrying in front of Thor. “It’s the summons telling you to appear in court. Loki filed for a restraining order against you.”

The mortals’ mouths hung open. Thor had a confused expression on his face.

“What is that?”

“........I will call Ms Walters,” said Coulson.



In the court, Coulson regretted calling She-Hulk as the prosecution began giving evidence.

It was fine while the testimony about the restaurant affair and the medical records were produced. They knew about these already and had prepared several excuses for them.

At least Coulson and Jennifer had foreseen that Thor barging into the law firm would have been recorded. The comments Steve made, cutting in later on, was a huge drawback for them but Loki had stated he didn’t hate Thor, so they could use this to argue that they can teach Thor and have him learn to approach Loki in a way that is humanly polite and socially acceptable.

But right at that moment, Loki produced the CCTV footage of his flat as evidence; and when Jennifer saw a huge humanoid figure donning a winged helmet and a dark cape appear in the footage from a CCTV around the flat when it was over 11 o’clock at night, her hair began to glow with green light.

Jennifer threw a sharp glance towards the Avengers sitting in the gallery. Both Coulson and Tony buried their heads in their hands.

“I’d... like to ask for a recess.”

“Are you admitting defeat?” asked Loki, airily. “It appears that the superheroes don’t just fight the monsters and terrorists, but go on patrol every night when nothing is happening to protect me, a mere citizen, no, to protect all the average citizens in that area. Being a friendly neighbourhood superhero, perhaps; how kind of you. But while we thank you for your efforts, we would appreciate it all the more if you’d inform us, the ones you protect, beforehand.”

Jennifer opened her mouth to say something. But Loki was quicker.

“But even if that was the case, I’d feel more safe if the New York police officers with ordinary guns were making the patrol, rather than a superhero with a hammer that can bash a man’s head like a watermelon and has the ability to cause something like Hurricane Katrina. It’s not as if you’d need to use something with the destructive power of strategic weapons on a mugger or a burglar. Surely you should avoid inflicting excessive violence on the criminals as it may prevent them from receiving proper penalty?”

Thor began. “I only wanted to make sure that you are well...”

Jennifer kicked Thor’s shin under the desk. Thor shut his mouth when he was kicked by She-Hulk who was slowly turning green, as he was without his armour to attend the hearing.

“That comment now sounds like you admit to stalking.”

Loki looked at the judge, smiling triumphantly. The judge nodded.

“Would the defense attorney like to continue?”

In the gallery, Steve was poking Tony.

“Are you not allowed to go near someone’s house if you are on bad terms?”

Tony clutched at his hair.

“No, and hell no if you have something like not-bound-by-laws-of-physics trick hammer.”

“............So he lost?”

“It’s a perfect defeat.”

“...No, your honour.”

Jennifer gave up her defense.



After the hearing was over, Jennifer took a firm stand in front of Coulson.

“You can’t win something like this, not even if Lucas Ingensson himself was defending you.”

“I’m aware of that,” Coulson held up his hands as if in surrender. “I didn’t know that Thor had done... something stupid like this. I apologise.”

“Ms Walters.”

Jennifer looked back, as someone called her name. Loki held his hand out to her.

“It was a great defense. I especially liked the fact that you didn’t needlessly argue that the two are brothers, ignoring your client’s unreasonable demand. It is not your fault that you didn’t have all the necessary data which gives a full account of the situation before. You have done well enough.”

Jennifer stared at the hand for a moment, but grasped it reluctantly.

“It wasn’t enough.”

“Yes. A shame.”

Loki smiled, as if it wasn’t him who had beat her.

“Are there any other business?” asked Coulson.

“Oh, I’d just like one final word with Mr Odinson.”

Loki went up to Thor. The two of them were tall, and were nearly as tall as each other, so when they stood together they truly stood out.

Loki stood flush against Thor and whispered in his ear.

“It was a fight you couldn’t win.”

Thor tried to say something, but Loki held up his forefinger and touched his lips.

“Perhaps it was a fight between you and I. And in here, in this mortal court, they had rules which followed my method and not yours. You are everything Asgard can dream of, but you cannot prevail against me here.”

Thor just listened, unable to even open his mouth.

“You must taste defeat and learn how to give up. You must realise that everything in the world will not bend to your will and desire. So it’s a good thing you didn’t return to Asgard when your exile was over. No matter how Mjolnir had judged matters, you still haven’t learnt enough lessons.”

“Loki.”

“You better learn more about the mortals. These beings, so swift to live and die, have developed such numerous notions thanks to the brevity of their existence and learnt to accept a lot of things... For example, they accept that even family members can hate each other and separate. Isn’t that amazing? And what is more,” Loki turned his head and looked into Thor’s eyes. “They can love and hate at the same time, and separate.”

Loki clasped Thor’s head and pulled. Their lips met. Thor couldn’t react. Before his arm could reach up and pull Loki towards him, Loki pushed him away and widened their distance.

“You cannot prove anything. Even if you can prove it, nothing will change. Thor Odinson, I am Loki Ingensson and we are strangers. Don’t forget that.”

Loki stepped backwards, holding Thor’s eyes. Thor couldn’t move, as if he was mesmerised by that gaze.

Finally Loki disappeared from his view, and tears fell from Thor’s eyes.

He finally realised that he had lost his brother.